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No good, very bad week. Nbeck Due March 9; 3 kids; Iowa 112 posts
4th Oct '13

I wanna start by giving a little background... the past 10 years in general have been very hard for my family. My mom got the rarest most aggressive type of breast cancer 9 years ago. After months of treatments and driving to a hospital 2 hours away she was given the all clear. A few years ago when my son was 1 year old he was diagnosed with epilepsy, he quit breathing during his first seizure and we could have lost him if he had not snapped out of it. This meant lots more trips to the hospital 2 hours away. Two years ago my mom suddenly had a seizure and couldn't stand, after getting her to the hospital and an MRI they found the cancer in her brain. After a surgery and weeks of daily trips to the same hospital she was given the all clear again. In march her health really began to decline and we found out that the cancer was all up and down her spinal column and she was given 3 months to live.
Now to the present.... Since mom came home I have been taking care of her on top of a full time job and 3 kids. We recently found out that my son is having tons of seizures while sleeping (6 in a 15 minute period when he was having an EEG done) and Wednesday morning at 2:25 am mom passed..... Which has broken everyone's heart. My mom was only 51 and my little sister is still in high school.
Now to the pregnancy issue part.... I am 18 weeks on Monday and I just feel like I haven't even been able to think about this pregnancy. I have my ultrasound in about a week and a half and will find out the gender but I can't even get excited. I love my kids more than anything and wanted this baby, but with circumstances changing (and always for the worse) all the time I just feel like getting excited or even planning for baby coming has been impossible. Has anyone else spent most of their pregnancy just feeling exhausted and indifferent??? I hope as life settles down I can start enjoying the normal pregnancy excitement......

Mother of One plus One 2 kids; Ware Shoals, South Carolina 4418 posts
4th Oct '13

It will all come in time. You sound like you have so much on your plate right now idk how you even remember to eat.



With my second pregnancy I felt so disconnected until I actually had her. I loved her an wanted er but I didn't have the bond u had with my first girl with my second until she was here.

Nbeck Due March 9; 3 kids; Iowa 112 posts
4th Oct '13
Quoting Mother of One plus One:" It will all come in time. You sound like you have so much on your plate right now idk how you even remember ... [snip!] ... had her. I loved her an wanted er but I didn't have the bond u had with my first girl with my second until she was here."


That's just it, I know as soon as the baby is here It will click and be just like with my other babies. I just hate feeling indifferent about my baby right now.... kinda makes me feel like a bad mother :? Even though that couldn't be further from the truth.

Mother of One plus One 2 kids; Ware Shoals, South Carolina 4418 posts
4th Oct '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nbeck:</b>" That's just it, I know as soon as the baby is here It will click and be just like with my other babies. ... [snip!] ... about my baby right now.... kinda makes me feel like a bad mother :? Even though that couldn't be further from the truth."</blockquote>
I understand. Like I said, I was that way with my second pregnancy. The day of my csection I cried and cried because it wasn't going to be just me an my baby anymore. Our lives were goin to change completely and it was all because of me(well obviously not just me. But that's how I felt.)



I just kept reassuring myself that I knew I loved this baby so not to really worry about it much. PLUS, I don't think it a much of a "disconnect" as it is jut too busy to really pay that much attention.

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
4th Oct '13

I feel like at this point you have SO much going on in your life that you can set the pregnancy worries aside.
Is the pregnancy healthy? Are you still eating and drinking enough water? Are you making sure to take your vitamins?
If you can answer yes to that then you obviously still care about the well being of your baby making you a great mother.
Your Mamma just died. Your little one is having medical issues and you have two other kids to care for and a house on top of that.
No one would fault you for feeling exhausted and indifferent to the pregnancy.
As you said, after things calm down, you've had the funeral and the burial you will start to relax some.
You have enough on your plate right now to not have to worry your self on whether you are being a good enough Mom.
You are doing just fine.
Take a breath, cry, sleep (if you can). Try and take care of YOU. Your body is doing all the work right now. And I'm sure you love this baby very much. So don't worry so much about it ok?
I'm so very sorry for your loss. And I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all of this with your little boy. It's not fair for a person to go through all of this. But if you keep your head up the pain will start to go away. Slowly, but it will happen <3
Let me know if you ever need to talk ok?

Nbeck Due March 9; 3 kids; Iowa 112 posts
4th Oct '13
Quoting Belle De Jour:" I feel like at this point you have SO much going on in your life that you can set the pregnancy worries ... [snip!] ... you keep your head up the pain will start to go away. Slowly, but it will happen <3 Let me know if you ever need to talk ok?"


Thank you very much, I try to keep telling myself these things but it helps to hear someone else say them. And yes my pregnancy is very healthy and right on track.... thankfully the baby is making one aspect of my life easy right now!

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
4th Oct '13
Quoting Nbeck:" Thank you very much, I try to keep telling myself these things but it helps to hear someone else say ... [snip!] ... And yes my pregnancy is very healthy and right on track.... thankfully the baby is making one aspect of my life easy right now!"


See, that's good. Don't worry so much about the pregnancy. You are obviously a good mamma. Just keep doing what you are doing (just be less hard on yourself) and you will get past this. <3

Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 6861 posts
4th Oct '13

It just sounds like you've had a lot going on and haven't had much time to think about a pregnancy or baby. I also found that the more time times I was pregnant, the less excitement I felt about the whole pregnancy process. I was still happy when they found the heartbeat and I was still happy when they found out it was a boy, but it wasn't anywhere close to the excitement I felt the first or 2nd time.



My pregnancies are high risk, so I'm sure that's part of it too. Give it time, I always liked the baby part of the process, even if i was indifferent or annoyed by the pregnancy part.. :)