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in love w/ another man user banned
28th Oct '13

i really wished to post this on the secrets account but i couldn't find the thread with the names of the people that had the password and i can only be online for a short time and needed to talk :(

i don't know if its love or lust or what but i find myself thinking about him a lot. i was staying in his apartment but moved back in with my husband. the guy is in a committed relationship too and lives 2 hours away but every other weekend he drives to his apartment and we hang out together. he's so sweet and generous and kind. everything my husband isn't. he's great with kaylin too. i know that if i left my husband that still wouldnt guarantee he would be with me but it was still nice to think about it.

but i think i'm gonna try to stick it out with my husband for as long as i can. i think he's coming around and getting better.. only time will tell. for now, i'm still texting my friend and i saw him on saturday but i know eventually i'll have to cut this off but its great to escape the heartache and regret and feel like myself again with him :(

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
28th Oct '13

Probably just lust or a case of thinkin the grass is greener on the other side. If he's in a committed relationship then I wouldn't entertain ideas of a relationship anyways. I would limit contact and stop hanging out because an emotional relationship with someone else is still cheating. Never leave one relationship for another either. Does the friend even know you have these types of feelings?

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46492 posts
status 28th Oct '13

Please don't.

I really, really suggest you get some counseling for your self-esteem issues.

You seem to have this idea that your sense of self-worth is tied into your relationship with men. You've had 6 children with how many guys? It's time for you to find validation some other way.

Go back to school, get a job, make a life for yourself and your kids.....seriously, think of them for once.

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
28th Oct '13

Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:
Probably just lust or a case of thinkin the grass is greener on the other side. If he's in a committed relationship then I wouldn't entertain ideas of a relationship anyways. I would limit contact and stop hanging out because an emotional relationship with someone else is still cheating. Never leave one relationship for another either. Does the friend even know you have these types of feelings?




we try not. it's just fun for us though i have caught feelings. we've been intimate before so he knows and before he only came to his place once a month but now he's been traveling a lot more frequently so i think he might feel the same.

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66897 posts
status 28th Oct '13

That's..... awful. Even if your marriage is in shambles, he's in a committed relationship. You both can't be running back to your significant others after fucking because you now have to go back to your normal life Unknown If he hasn't left his girlfriend -- he's not going to. You're a fuck buddy. As shitty as that is.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
28th Oct '13

Please take the advice of seeking counseling or therapy.....

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
28th Oct '13

Quoting speaktruth2powr:
Please don't.

I really, really suggest you get some counseling for your self-esteem issues.

You seem to have this idea that your sense of self-worth is tied into your relationship with men. You've had 6 children with how many guys? It's time for you to find validation some other way.

Go back to school, get a job, make a life for yourself and your kids.....seriously, think of them for once.




i always do and that almost made me cry that after everything i've put myself thru thats still questioned.

my mom has suggested therapy too but i dont think im crazy. i'm just looking for the right man to love me and treat me right. yeah, i make some stupid fucking choices but im not crazy.

Tickletits Due March 17 (boy); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Rincon, Georgia 618 posts
28th Oct '13

Quoting kthx.:
That's..... awful. Even if your marriage is in shambles, he's in a committed relationship. You both can't be running back to your significant others after fucking because you now have to go back to your normal life If he hasn't left his girlfriend -- he's not going to. You're a fuck buddy. As shitty as that is.



I agree.

Squishy MarBear 1 child; Bossier City, LA, United States 314 posts
28th Oct '13

I've had experience with this type of situation with some dumb ass roommate of mine years ago. Do not do it. If he is in a committed relationship and is "talking" to you on the side, what makes you think he won't do that behind your back if you two get together? Think about it in the long run. I'm not trying to be rude, but I've noticed way too many people think with their heart rather than their brain on situation's like this. I agree with speaktruth2powr, you should probably get some counseling first, figure out if you want to stick it out with your husband or not and do whatever needs to be done for either outcome. Imagine what you are doing to your husband too. I honestly would consider this cheating and would be furious if my husband ever did this behind my back if we had issues with each other. Figure out what you want for yourself first, then after confrontation and paperwork (if needed), then you can do what you feel is right. Don't string people along, it can be very hurtful for the person on the other end.

JKBC♡ 2 kids; Windsor, PA, United States 9799 posts
28th Oct '13

Go get counseling for yourself. You have a serious problem with your self esteem.

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
28th Oct '13

Quoting kthx.:
That's..... awful. Even if your marriage is in shambles, he's in a committed relationship. You both can't be running back to your significant others after fucking because you now have to go back to your normal life If he hasn't left his girlfriend -- he's not going to. You're a fuck buddy. As shitty as that is.



i don't expect him to leave his girlfriend just as he doesn't expect me to leave my husband. he told me when i asked to stay at his place that he knew i'd be back with my husband before long and he was right. we're just each other's escapes. we have fun together.. i feel like a 16 year old again with no kids, no worries, no problems in my life.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46492 posts
status 28th Oct '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ:

i always do and that almost made me cry that after everything i've put myself thru thats still questioned.

my mom has suggested therapy too but i dont think im crazy. i'm just looking for the right man to love me and treat me right. yeah, i make some stupid fucking choices but im not crazy.




Not just "crazy" people need counseling.

You make really, really bad decisions. Sometimes I wonder if it is all made up for here, and sometimes, I hope you and your kids are fake because what you are putting them through is horrible, neglectful and potentially abusive.

You make stupid choices, obviously there is something that is causing you to do that, wouldn't you rather spend a bit of time finding out what that is instead of jumping into another relationship with a guy who really doesn't care that much about you?

Do you want to be coming on here in 2 months saying that your fuck buddy got you knocked up? Do you know what that would look like in the eyes of the courts who will be decided the fate of your youngest child soon?

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
28th Oct '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ:

i always do and that almost made me cry that after everything i've put myself thru thats still questioned.

my mom has suggested therapy too but i dont think im crazy. i'm just looking for the right man to love me and treat me right. yeah, i make some stupid fucking choices but im not crazy.





counseling and therapy aren't only for ''crazy'' people. Although the fact that you can't see the chaos you are always creating & continuing to make excuses for shows that you are either not of ''sound mind'' or incredibly selfish.

JKBC♡ 2 kids; Windsor, PA, United States 9799 posts
28th Oct '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ:

i don't expect him to leave his girlfriend just as he doesn't expect me to leave my husband. he told me when i asked to stay at his place that he knew i'd be back with my husband before long and he was right. we're just each other's escapes. we have fun together.. i feel like a 16 year old again with no kids, no worries, no problems in my life.



You need counseling, a normal mother wouldn't act like you do. It doesn't mean you're crazy because you need therapy, you have issues and you need to learn how to act like a responsible mother.

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66897 posts
status 28th Oct '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ:

i don't expect him to leave his girlfriend just as he doesn't expect me to leave my husband. he told me when i asked to stay at his place that he knew i'd be back with my husband before long and he was right. we're just each other's escapes. we have fun together.. i feel like a 16 year old again with no kids, no worries, no problems in my life.



You don't see anything wrong with that? You're CHEATING.