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17 and pregnant and really don't know what to do? Togpreggo17 Due July 27 (boy); Japan 2 posts
2nd Nov '13

I'm 17. Early on. and my parents know. They support me either way yet they'll say negative stuff about me keep it. The bd is the worst. I didn't set out to get pregnant by a guy who's in a relationship with a woman. It was an accident condom broke and I was on the pill I didn't think I'd get pregnant. But every one of my friends and everyone at school have really lashed out at me pretty negatively because of a mistake he and I made. I considered getting an abortion but I'm against abortions in this case. It's an option but not really one I want I'd just be doing it in hope that I wouldn't have so much negativity around those I once called friends. Also it's like I don't even know how I'm doing this Alone. Or where to start. I'm so young not even out of high school yet. I just haven't really thought of it yet. Advice?

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
2nd Nov '13

There is always adoption. Having a baby and raising them at any age is hard, but the younger you are the harder it is. If your parents were more supportive, they could help some, but it is still a big burden to carry.
No matter what you do you need to finish high school and go to college.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45938 posts
2nd Nov '13

Have you considered adoption?

You two didn't make a mistake, you and he both knew he was in a relationship, but you had sex anyway....

Gold 2 kids; Somewhere under Wonderland, VA, United States 38921 posts
2nd Nov '13

I think you need to sit down and seriously think about all your options. Good luck.

Addi's Momma Due January 23 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 5470 posts
2nd Nov '13

Well, the choice is yours but I suggest you think carefully about your options. Having a baby is a lot of money and hard work. It is expensive and exhausting. What does he think about all this?

Getting pregnant may have been an accident but you knew he was in a relationship and had sex with him anyway. You made that decision.

Ameri Due March 7 (girl); Joplin, MO, United States 48 posts
2nd Nov '13

Abortion shouldn't be an option for any women in my opinion. I understand you're younger, it wasn't planned, and that you're scared. But think of all the wonderful women out there that can't have children so they adopt. I'm sure a wonderful family would adopt that precious baby and give it the life that every baby deserves to have. It's not wrong of you to give her/him up for adoption because you're young, you aren't ready, etc. Just keep that in mind. Adoption is deff the way to go, not abortion. I hope things work out for you!

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45938 posts
2nd Nov '13

Quoting Ameri:
Abortion shouldn't be an option for any women in my opinion. I understand you're younger, it wasn't planned, and that you're scared. But think of all the wonderful women out there that can't have children so they adopt. I'm sure a wonderful family would adopt that precious baby and give it the life that every baby deserves to have. It's not wrong of you to give her/him up for adoption because you're young, you aren't ready, etc. Just keep that in mind. Adoption is deff the way to go, not abortion. I hope things work out for you!



It's not her job to have babies for those women who can't...

Your guilt tactics are pathetic.

Charl♥tte Due December 30 (girl); 1 child; Keller, Texas 949 posts
2nd Nov '13

Been there, survived that.. Only you know what's best for yourself; but I'd never suggest making a decision based off of what your high school friends think.. 5 years from now, those people won't even be in your life, regardless.. That's just growing up. Remember- where there's a will, there's a way.

JΔS Georgia 74495 posts
2nd Nov '13

Quoting Ameri:
Abortion shouldn't be an option for any women in my opinion. I understand you're younger, it wasn't planned, and that you're scared. But think of all the wonderful women out there that can't have children so they adopt. I'm sure a wonderful family would adopt that precious baby and give it the life that every baby deserves to have. It's not wrong of you to give her/him up for adoption because you're young, you aren't ready, etc. Just keep that in mind. Adoption is deff the way to go, not abortion. I hope things work out for you!



What do other women have to do with the OP? Their inability to get pregnant is not her problem. They should take that up with their doctor and God (if they are believers). Maybe those women who want to have children so badly should look into adoption, eh?

1stTimeBabyMaker 1 child; California 4296 posts
2nd Nov '13

I'm still shocked that you chose to have sex with a guy already in a relationship... That's pretty messed up :/
anyways, everyone makes mistakes and now you have to live with it and fix it, I'd say 1st thing to do is cut off relations with that man and ignore anything kids at school say cause they're just gonna be little asses also start prenatal care ASAP
if I were in your shoes I'd think adoption because what I'm taking from what you said is you're against abortion but not sure about keeping and raising a baby.
best of luck to you in whatever you choose and don't hesitate to ask for advice on here because there's lots of great mommas here that are full of great advice

jtmoss Due June 2 (boy); Japan 5 posts
2nd Nov '13

This is my opinion...i myself was a young mother and I was successful at it I finished school went to ccollage all while raising my son on my own. Yes it was difficult and stressful I had to make a lot of personal sacrafices I also had to work while I did it all but I can tell u my son is five now and I am expecting again and I will be on my own with this one as well but I wouldnt change it for anything in this world it was all completely worth it . I also had a best friend thathad her daughter even younger she was 14 she was compcompletely alone her mother pretty much disowned her and the father ran but she to did it and was completely happy with her decision to keep her...no matter what choice you make there is going to be people criticise you. I have another friend that gave hers up for addoption she was ok with the decision although it bothers her occasionally but she constantly gets put down for her choice...my point is you need to think of what you want but know that keeping the baby is possible and if your determined enough you will do just fine.

Ameri Due March 7 (girl); Joplin, MO, United States 48 posts
2nd Nov '13

I understand it isn't her job to 'have babies for others' but every child deserves a chance to live. Abortion shouldn't be an option for anyone, period! She already got herself pregnant so if she isn't ready, understandable. BUT. That doesn't mean she has to get an abortion. When you get pregnant it's time to think about more than yourself. There are so many women out there that'd take care of that baby. I'm not trying to 'guilt trip' her so don't try saying that one.

Gold 2 kids; Somewhere under Wonderland, VA, United States 38921 posts
2nd Nov '13

Quoting Ameri:
I understand it isn't her job to 'have babies for others' but every child deserves a chance to live. Abortion shouldn't be an option for anyone, period! She already got herself pregnant so if she isn't ready, understandable. BUT. That doesn't mean she has to get an abortion. When you get pregnant it's time to think about more than yourself. There are so many women out there that'd take care of that baby. I'm not trying to 'guilt trip' her so don't try saying that one.



Why can't they aopt one of the millions of children already in the system?


JΔS Georgia 74495 posts
2nd Nov '13

Quoting Ameri:
I understand it isn't her job to 'have babies for others' but every child deserves a chance to live. Abortion shouldn't be an option for anyone, period! She already got herself pregnant so if she isn't ready, understandable. BUT. That doesn't mean she has to get an abortion. When you get pregnant it's time to think about more than yourself. There are so many women out there that'd take care of that baby. I'm not trying to 'guilt trip' her so don't try saying that one.



She got herself pregnant? REALLY?


And I didn't know that babies were conceived only when both parties consented therefore (in your mind) abortion is never an option. That is truly amazing.

Addi's Momma Due January 23 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 5470 posts
2nd Nov '13

Quoting Ameri:
I understand it isn't her job to 'have babies for others' but every child deserves a chance to live. Abortion shouldn't be an option for anyone, period! She already got herself pregnant so if she isn't ready, understandable. BUT. That doesn't mean she has to get an abortion. When you get pregnant it's time to think about more than yourself. There are so many women out there that'd take care of that baby. I'm not trying to 'guilt trip' her so don't try saying that one.



Shut up. Not your uterus so stop pushing your beliefs on other people. You don't believe in abortion. Fine, whatever but don't pull the " people want to raise your baby" guilt trip. She has 3 options and should look at all 3 options.