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College and people on my nerves. graysensmom2010 TTC since Nov 2013; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Terre Haute, Indiana 201 posts
15th Nov

I started college January 2012. I was going for nursing at the time. The first two semesters, I had a 4.0 and have kept it above 3.5 since then. Prior to going to college, I cleaned at a local hospital for five years. I had a few other jobs before then, but I was 20 when I started there, so not much time under my belt in the working department. When I decided to become a college student and stop working, some people in my family have been acting like they were more proud of me for working at a shit job, instead of going to school to do something good for my son. I got questions like "Are you sure you'll be able to do that?" or "What if you drop out? Then you'll owe all that money." The one that really pissed me off was "It was stupid to stop working to go to school to probably not be able to find a job when you get out." Anyway, this semester, I decided to change my major to paralegal studies because I was having a hard time in the Anatomy and Physiology class. I got through it with a C and at the college I go to, I can't get into the nursing program with a C in Anatomy and Physiology. I found out that the big college here has the two classes separated so I asked opinions on FB about me attending that college to see if I did better with the classes split up. One of my family members was being kinda rude. She always tells me to study, like I don't enough. She also told me that I needed to be dedicated to the class to be able to get the good grade...that I couldn't just change schools and expect to do better. WTF? Was that really such a bad idea? People are bringing up the fact that I withdrew from my classes this semester because of some personal issues I was having. I have had four deaths in my family this year and miscarried twins five days before the semester started...two of those deaths happened a month apart from one another and the mc was 6 weeks later. I couldn't concentrate. I am starting to do better now and have been reading over my Anatomy book to refresh what I did understand. I am following things fine so I know I'll be ready to attend next semester. What should I do? I almost feel like I should just go back to working shitty jobs so that I feel more supported. Or should I really do some soul searching and figure out if nursing is right for me? It is what I want to do, but the one class is whats getting me. Should I not waste my time. I mean, with a good gpa, its obvious I'm doing the best I can, but people are making me feel like I'm not. THey made me feel like I wasn't intending to when I started either. It seems like I have minimal support and it's bothering the shit out of me. I have no idea why I posted this. I did need to get it off of my chest, but it might not make much sense. I'm sorry if it doesn't and I'm sorry if I wasted anyone's time. It just bugs the crap out of me.

Boobook 4 kids; Private, WA, United States 4266 posts
15th Nov

I think your family member telling you switching schools won't fix the problem and you need to study harder is being honest and is right. You're having problems in one class.... Buckle down, retake it and improve your grade so you do have the chance at the nursing program.

All the other none spence tune out. You're doing what's right for you, to improve your future.

Mom2William&Michael 2 kids; 1 angel baby; New York 7600 posts
15th Nov

No one else will live your life. You do what you think you need to and what's best for you. In 20 years from now, where do you want to be? You can take a gamble and try to improve or you can be working a shit job and wonder where you'd be if you took that chance. If you've got a solid GPA and can afford it well enough, do it.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8707 posts
status 15th Nov

None of that really sounded all that rude. It sounds like your family members were doing what they were supposed to. Just because it did line up with what you thought they should say doesn't mean they aren't being supportive.

You sound sensitive, tbh.

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 14104 posts
status 15th Nov

Quoting Sara❥:
None of that really sounded all that rude. It sounds like your family members were doing what they were supposed to. Just because it did line up with what you thought they should say doesn't mean they aren't being supportive.

You sound sensitive, tbh.



You don't think the fact that they're "blaming" her doing poorly this past semester on the deaths in her family as rude? I sure think it is.

OP, I think you should continue going for your nursing degree if that's what you really want to do. Don't just settle for being a paralegal because it's easier! I doubt you'd enjoy that job if nursing is really what you want to do.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45784 posts
15th Nov

Perhaps taking a leave from school would be a good thing.

It doesn't sounds like you really know what you want to do as a career anyway.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8707 posts
status 15th Nov

Quoting [[Breezy]]:

You don't think the fact that they're "blaming" her doing poorly this past semester on the deaths in her family as rude? I sure think it is.

OP, I think you should continue going for your nursing degree if that's what you really want to do. Don't just settle for being a paralegal because it's easier! I doubt you'd enjoy that job if nursing is really what you want to do.




That's not what I read. She said that's why she did poorly (because of the deaths), not that they were saying that. The only thing that I read that was even remotely rude or bad advice was that she shouldn't continuer her education.

Maybe you should go back and re-read? Unknown

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 14104 posts
status 15th Nov

Quoting Sara❥:

That's not what I read. She said that's why she did poorly (because of the deaths), not that they were saying that. The only thing that I read that was even remotely rude or bad advice was that she shouldn't continuer her education.

Maybe you should go back and re-read?



She said they were "bringing it up" as the deaths being a reason, i. e. blaming. I agree that that's rude.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8707 posts
status 15th Nov

Quoting [[Breezy]]:

She said they were "bringing it up" as the deaths being a reason, i. e. blaming. I agree that that's rude.




"People are bringing up the fact that I withdrew from my classes this semester because of some personal issues I was having."

The people were bringing up the fact that she withdrew from classes, then she continues on about the deaths. That to me doesn't say that they were blaming anything. They just brought up the fact that she withdrew, then she explains (to us) why. It sounds to me that her family is concerned about her withdraw. I think you are taking it out of context.

Let me add, if in fact people are giving her a hard time because she's having a hard time then that is wrong, IMO. But that's not how I took this whole convo.

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 14104 posts
status 15th Nov

Quoting Sara❥:

"People are bringing up the fact that I withdrew from my classes this semester because of some personal issues I was having."

The people were bringing up the fact that she withdrew from classes, then she continues on about the deaths. That to me doesn't say that they were blaming anything. They just brought up the fact that she withdrew, then she explains (to us) why. It sounds to me that her family is concerned about her withdraw. I think you are taking it out of context.

Let me add, if in fact people are giving her a hard time because she's having a hard time then that is wrong, IMO. But that's not how I took this whole convo.








Yeah we're just interpreting the sentence structure differently...you could be right, in which case they just sound more concerned than invasive and rude.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8707 posts
status 15th Nov
Quoting [[Breezy]]:



Yeah we're just interpreting the sentence structure differently...you could be right, in which case they just sound more concerned than invasive and rude.




Yeah, I wasn't trying to argue with you. I just took it differently. OP should've been more clear, shame on her. Wink

graysensmom2010 TTC since Nov 2013; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Terre Haute, Indiana 201 posts
15th Nov

I was the one to blame dropping my classes this semester on the deaths, not the family members. I read it over and it didn't sound any different to me. I haven't mentioned that is the reason to everyone because I didn't want all of them to know. I am sensitive, however when other people in the family have went to college, they were praised for it from the beginning. When I announced two Thanksgivings ago that I was starting that following January, I got all of the what ifs. I don't find people saying things like "Are you sure you can do it?" and "What if you drop out?" very nice for the simple fact that they are supposed to be more supportive. Why am I any different than any of my cousins? They have all been to college, except my brother, who is a high school drop out. Only one of them have graduate. The rest dropped out of college and one of my cousins are still in and doing very well...about like me. Some of what the family member said about switching schools not working might be right. I just thought I'd try it broken into two classes. I don't really expect any of it to be any easier. I just thought that if it was broken down some, my brain would pick at it easier. Maybe if I learn the Anatomy of the boy first, then take a class to learn what all of it does, it will come to me better. I'm trying to find a way that's better for me so that I can do this. And to the person that mentioned the break, I have considered that, but I don't feel it will do me any good right now. I just basically had the whole semester off. I also don't want to be one of those people who take a break and never return. I don't plan on that, but I know how life gets ahold of people sometimes. When I started a housekeeping job at the hospital at 20, I intended to work part time and start full time classes. It wasn't ten months before I was hired full time and not worried about school. It took my son for me to quit my job and actually decide to go to school. I worked five years there and I don't regret it, but I could have been done with school by now if I had stuck to my original plans. I will be 28 in a few months and I started college late to begin with because I wasn't ready at 18.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8707 posts
status 15th Nov

Quoting graysensmom2010:
I was the one to blame dropping my classes this semester on the deaths, not the family members. I read it over and it didn't sound any different to me. I haven't mentioned that is the reason to everyone because I didn't want all of them to know. I am sensitive, however when other people in the family have went to college, they were praised for it from the beginning. When I announced two Thanksgivings ago that I was starting that following January, I got all of the what ifs. I don't find people saying things like "Are you sure you can do it?" and "What if you drop out?" very nice for the simple fact that they are supposed to be more supportive. Why am I any different than any of my cousins? They have all been to college, except my brother, who is a high school drop out. Only one of them have graduate. The rest dropped out of college and one of my cousins are still in and doing very well...about like me. Some of what the family member said about switching schools not working might be right. I just thought I'd try it broken into two classes. I don't really expect any of it to be any easier. I just thought that if it was broken down some, my brain would pick at it easier. Maybe if I learn the Anatomy of the boy first, then take a class to learn what all of it does, it will come to me better. I'm trying to find a way that's better for me so that I can do this. And to the person that mentioned the break, I have considered that, but I don't feel it will do me any good right now. I just basically had the whole semester off. I also don't want to be one of those people who take a break and never return. I don't plan on that, but I know how life gets ahold of people sometimes. When I started a housekeeping job at the hospital at 20, I intended to work part time and start full time classes. It wasn't ten months before I was hired full time and not worried about school. It took my son for me to quit my job and actually decide to go to school. I worked five years there and I don't regret it, but I could have been done with school by now if I had stuck to my original plans. I will be 28 in a few months and I started college late to begin with because I wasn't ready at 18.




The only advice I can give you is to not worry so much about everyone else and do what is right for you and your family. I know it would be nice for everyone to be more supportive but that just doesn't seem like the case here. Maybe you should tell them that you would get further with their support. Maybe they don't realize they are being negative? It's really hard for any of us to know since we don't know you and your family personally. If that makes sense?

And to add, my dad lives close to you in Brazil. Have you heard of it?

graysensmom2010 TTC since Nov 2013; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Terre Haute, Indiana 201 posts
15th Nov

Yes, I have. It's really close to me. It only takes about 15 minutes to get there.