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Labor and deliver... alone? Pullonyourboots TTC since Aug 2013; 1 child; Falmouth, Massachusetts 231 posts
18th Nov '13

DH and I both don't have family near by. We both have many friends but they all have little ones and busy busy lives. Getting to my fear.. Im currently 3.5 months pregnant and we have a 16 month old. If I go into labor in the middle of the night or if we just can't find a reliable sitter between now and then... I'll be laboring and delivering alone :( I was up until about 2 am crying about it last night because I need my husbands support. But if we can't find someone or even if we do and I go into labor at 1am... we're screwed! My daughter can't even come in the maternity ward at all because she's under the age of 12. I know there must people other mother's out there that have gone through this but Im really starting to panic here. We have a few people lined up to baby sit but they all work full time jobs and have their own children ext... Im trying plan for a person for everyday/time of the day but we just don't have enough people. I also looked into post pardum doulas and post pardum nurses that do this as well but they're $25 an hour.

October2011 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6821 posts
status 18th Nov '13

How far away does your family live? your parents, his parents?

Super Mommy! Costa Mesa, CA, United States 12677 posts
18th Nov '13

Have you asked any of your friends to watch her when you go into labor? Also, have you asked any of your family memebers to come down during the last couple of weeks?

Mrs. Squishy Due October 1 (girl); 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Illinois 12217 posts
18th Nov '13

Hi! I did with my first. My husband was overseas. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I was scared and nervous too, but I did it..and you know, I think it made me stronger.

my 2nd he was there

This baby, I may end up alone again. My husband has a new job that has him gone most of the week, back 2 days

But seriously, you can do it! You are stronger than you think.

Pullonyourboots TTC since Aug 2013; 1 child; Falmouth, Massachusetts 231 posts
18th Nov '13

Quoting October2011:
How far away does your family live? your parents, his parents?




We live in Massachusetts and my family lives in Vermont and Florida. The only ones I talk to is my grandmother who is 85 and wouldnt be able to help even if she was able to come. The rest of my family has either passed away or their drug addicts. DH's dad is the only one that lives somewhat close (an hour) but he had to have a defibulator put in because of his heart and his heart is only pumping at 30% so that wouldnt work either.
I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25171 posts
18th Nov '13

I'd be searching for a reliable babysitter between now and then.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45938 posts
status 18th Nov '13

They usually make an age exception for siblings.

Hire a mother's helper for after you have the baby. They are less than a doula or nurse. It's not like you need someone there full time.

Pullonyourboots TTC since Aug 2013; 1 child; Falmouth, Massachusetts 231 posts
18th Nov '13
Lets just pretend for the sake of this post that all our family lives in india and cant afford to come here... they are out of the question. As far as friends we keep asking around but like i said they have family, full time jobs and when I say family they have have very young children that would need babysitters... I keep looking on these baby sitter websites but their all 16 with no vehicle. Im not so much worried about day time but if i went in the middle of the night... Im almost positive no one would be able to come. I guess I just need to come to the realization that it might happen and it will be okay. I just hemorrhaged badly with my daughter and I remember her crying non stop in the hospital and having to wake up DH so he could hold her while I dragged my IV into the room. So many things I just cant imagine doing alone.
Super Mommy! Costa Mesa, CA, United States 12677 posts
18th Nov '13

Quoting Pullonyourboots:
Lets just pretend for the sake of this post that all our family lives in india and cant afford to come here... they are out of the question. As far as friends we keep asking around but like i said they have family, full time jobs and when I say family they have have very young children that would need babysitters... I keep looking on these baby sitter websites but their all 16 with no vehicle. Im not so much worried about day time but if i went in the middle of the night... Im almost positive no one would be able to come. I guess I just need to come to the realization that it might happen and it will be okay. I just hemorrhaged badly with my daughter and I remember her crying non stop in the hospital and having to wake up DH so he could hold her while I dragged my IV into the room. So many things I just cant imagine doing alone.



Stop stressing yourself out. IF you randomly go into labor, bring DD with you. At the very worst, SO will have to watch her, either in the L&D room, or in the lobby. At best, a nurse will watch her in the L&D room, while SO is beside you. No need to cry, and stress yourself out. My friend did it exactly that way, and she lives about 20 minutes from family. It was just so unexpected that they had no time to call or drop off their DD, so they brought her with them, and a nurse watched her.

bettymunroe Due June 27; 2 kids; Auckland, E7, New Zealand 550 posts
18th Nov '13

If you show up in labour with your child they will not send you home, they will make do. I would say homebirth is actually a great idea, but given your history with haemorragging it is safer to go to the hospital.

Pullonyourboots TTC since Aug 2013; 1 child; Falmouth, Massachusetts 231 posts
19th Nov '13

Quoting bettymunroe:
If you show up in labour with your child they will not send you home, they will make do. I would say homebirth is actually a great idea, but given your history with haemorragging it is safer to go to the hospital.



I really wanted a home birth but my hemoragging keeps getting worse with each child so my midwife refuses. I had a baby when I was 20 that I placed for adoption then with my daughter I almost needed blood and my midwife said she is almost certain I will need a blood transfusion this time. Like as soon as she found out I was pregnant she wanted to find out my blood type because I guess with hemorrhaging that if I lost the baby I could bleed out. I dont think they would turn me away either... its just something I wish I didnt have to worry about.