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husband wants to adopt my kids user banned
27th Nov '13

i dont know if anyone remember me talking about this last year but after today's session at the counsellor i think my marriage will be just fine and i want my DH to legally be the father to 3 of my children.

has anyone ever had their DH legally adopt their children? how long does it take? and how would i go about doing it? through lawyers?

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46565 posts
status 27th Nov '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ [+1]:
i dont know if anyone remember me talking about this last year but after today's session at the counsellor i think my marriage will be just fine and i want my DH to legally be the father to 3 of my children.

has anyone ever had their DH legally adopt their children? how long does it take? and how would i go about doing it? through lawyers?



You'll need permission from the fathers of the children he wants to adopt.
You'll also need to be married for at least 12 months before the proceedings can start.
It will take time, money, and lawyers. It can get very expensive.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
27th Nov '13

You're having to go through marriage counseling and you THINK it will be fine, and you now want to have this man adopt your children? Does that sound like a good idea?

Either way, their biological father would have to legally sign over his rights in order for your husband to adopt them.

LA REINA™ New York, NY, United States 16361 posts
27th Nov '13

If your children already have a legal father then he will need to sign his rights away, if they do not then it is a bit easier. You and your husband should contact a family lawyer.

Squid Kid Unavailable, NA, United States 32450 posts
27th Nov '13

My brother was legally adopted by my bio0father and my brother hated it and hates that man. (I don't blame him) Have their fathers already given up rights to the kids?

Aile{Ava & Emmett} Due October 14 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Oregon 1404 posts
27th Nov '13

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user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
27th Nov '13

that might be the hardest part, getting them to sign away their rights.. but we're willing to spend as much money as possible. he really opened up today in therapy and actually cried. it was heart warming and it made me see him so differently and i genuinely want to make this work. like he made me feel so guilty about everything i've ever done. i love him more today than i ever did.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
27th Nov '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ [+1]:
that might be the hardest part, getting them to sign away their rights.. but we're willing to spend as much money as possible. he really opened up today in therapy and actually cried. it was heart warming and it made me see him so differently and i genuinely want to make this work. like he made me feel so guilty about everything i've ever done. i love him more today than i ever did.



Soooo your kids already have a father who does not have any interest in signing over his rights....

And somehow you think letting this man adopt your kids will make up for whatever the hell is going on in your marriage that is causing you to have to go to counseling?

And the primary emotion you felt in COUNSELING today was GUILT?

Yeah, I sincerely hope this is a fleeting thought.

Aile{Ava & Emmett} Due October 14 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Oregon 1404 posts
27th Nov '13

You'll need a lawyer. DH and I were married 6 months exactly when we signed to let the lawyer start the process. You kids biological dad(s?) will need to be served papers to either sign and agree or contest and then you'll have to go to court, even if they arnt on their birth cert. You'll also have to pass home study through DHS and your husband will have to have a criminal background check. It took us 4 or 5 months for the whole process and cost us $1500, and we didn't have to go to court.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46565 posts
status 27th Nov '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ [+1]:
that might be the hardest part, getting them to sign away their rights.. but we're willing to spend as much money as possible. he really opened up today in therapy and actually cried. it was heart warming and it made me see him so differently and i genuinely want to make this work. like he made me feel so guilty about everything i've ever done. i love him more today than i ever did.



If they aren't willing to sign their rights away, I doubt you'll be able to do this.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15566 posts
27th Nov '13

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ [+1]:
that might be the hardest part, getting them to sign away their rights.. but we're willing to spend as much money as possible. he really opened up today in therapy and actually cried. it was heart warming and it made me see him so differently and i genuinely want to make this work. like he made me feel so guilty about everything i've ever done. i love him more today than i ever did.



That's just WRONG! The Father of those Kids have been taking care of them while you were trying to get your life together or whatever you were doing and now you're going to repay that by doing whatever you can to sever the Father/Child relationship FOREVER?! That is beyond fucked up. All for a Guy you've only known and been Married to for a short time.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
27th Nov '13

Wait, don't you have 3 or 4 baby daddies? And didn't you rush into this marriage? Annnnnd you're already having problems and having to go to counseling? And you want this guy of the year to adopt your SIX kids, many from different fathers?

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
27th Nov '13

Quoting Red Bottom:

Soooo your kids already have a father who does not have any interest in signing over his rights....

And somehow you think letting this man adopt your kids will make up for whatever the hell is going on in your marriage that is causing you to have to go to counseling?

And the primary emotion you felt in COUNSELING today was GUILT?

Yeah, I sincerely hope this is a fleeting thought.





i haven't seriously asked them yet so i can't say but the money and time and the being married for a year part is DONE! we're willing to do what it takes. their fathers don't do shit for them and while they were in boston with my mother they didn't see their dads ONCE.

no i dont but the first step is working on my marriage which is what we're doing. and after this session i don't want to give up!! that's all i'm saying. yes my primary emotion was guilt because of what i did. guilt because my therapist basically said what everyone here has said. when things get rough i run away and i never gave him the chance to be my husband. this isn't like one of my other relationships where i could just walk away and be with someone else. i'm legally binded to this man and i should have kept my promise to him so i felt guilty.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
27th Nov '13

LOL a month ago you were cheating on him and saying you were in love with another man and spending time with him, and since then you have TTC, gotten pregnant, pissed off your MIL, gone to counseling, and now you want your husband to adopt your 6 kids from various other men?

Your stability is astounding.

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
27th Nov '13

Quoting Crystal :

That's just WRONG! The Father of those Kids have been taking care of them while you were trying to get your life together or whatever you were doing and now you're going to repay that by doing whatever you can to sever the Father/Child relationship FOREVER?! That is beyond fucked up. All for a Guy you've only known and been Married to for a short time.





say what?!!? you obviously have no idea what you're talking about. I have 6 children with 5 men (blah blah blah so stone me), 3 of the 5 of those men are NOT dead beats. the other 2 are POS who should be castrated. i have 3 kids between those 2 and i want my husband to legally be their father since their bio dads aren't worth dust.