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Toddler step daughter troubles babymama2492 2 kids; Canada 33 posts
23rd Jan

I need to know if im going crazy. My husband and I have been been together 3.5 years, married fir 1.5 years. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who will be 4 soon. I loved her dearly!  I recently had my first baby girl end of november. She is the love of my life.  Since hrr birth though I have been very possessive of her and not wanting AL (step daughter)  around my baby. I cringe when she touches her and I hate her watching me breastfeed. I am extreemly irritable and get agitated at her easily.  I feel terribly guilty for this. She is a very trying toddler to begin with, having two homes. 50/50 with biological mother. Anybody have a similar feelings? Gone thriugh something simikar? Is this some kind of post pardom depression? 

I already feel horrible and am carrying guilt around for this.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27451 posts
23rd Jan

I hope you figure out where your feelings are coming from... because the kiddo will act out if she senses you don't want to be around her or want her involved. Does she do anything specifically that makes you pull away? You say you don't want her to see you breastfeed or touch the baby.... do you know why? I can KIND of get not wanting her to see you breastfeed, but if shes the only one you have an issue with then I dont think its a modesty issue. Did you guys have a good and strong/stable relationship before.... and it only changed when you had your baby?

HeyThereElizabeth Due September 16 (boy); 2 kids; Hollansburg, OH, United States 4620 posts
23rd Jan

You need to bond with your step daughter without your baby present. IMO. 

bia. 2 kids; ., ., Portugal 75147 posts
status 23rd Jan

Quoting HeyThereElizabeth:
You need to bond with your step daughter without your baby present. IMO. 


Yes.

babymama2492 2 kids; Canada 33 posts
23rd Jan

We had a very strong relationship before. this only started after SL birth. I cant pin point where they are coming from. I try very hard not to show my feelings towards her, I know how devastating that would be for her.

babymama2492 2 kids; Canada 33 posts
23rd Jan

Quoting HeyThereElizabeth:
You need to bond with your step daughter without your baby present. IMO. 


We bonded before she was born. I have been her step mom since she was 8 months old. 

HeyThereElizabeth Due September 16 (boy); 2 kids; Hollansburg, OH, United States 4620 posts
23rd Jan
Quoting babymama2492:

We bonded before she was born. I have been her step mom since she was 8 months old. 


Then you need to re-bond. 

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27451 posts
23rd Jan

Quoting HeyThereElizabeth:

Then you need to re-bond. 


This. And kids are smart little creatures... you may not THINK you are setting an image that will put her off or make her think she's different... but believe me... if you think it and seemingly have that much disdain toward her.... she feels it. You may not think you are doing it, but she feels it.

mad*hatter 2 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 2063 posts
23rd Jan

This seriously just makes me so sad! I really hope you resolve this issue. As other people said before... She will or already does realize you are pushing her away. She isn't a baby, she's almost 4 and can probably feel that she is not really wanted by someone (you) that she loves.. And her baby sister that she probably just wants to have a relationship with. I really hope you can get past this. Does your husband know how you feel?

babymama2492 2 kids; Canada 33 posts
23rd Jan

Quoting Pregator+1:
This seriously just makes me so sad! I really hope you resolve this issue. As other people said before... She will or already does realize you are pushing her away. She isn't a baby, she's almost 4 and can probably feel that she is not really wanted by someone (you) that she loves.. And her baby sister that she probably just wants to have a relationship with. I really hope you can get past this. Does your husband know how you feel?


He knows

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
23rd Jan

you really need to figure out why you feel like this

The step daughter knows you are pushing her away. Why can't she touch or see or be around her own sibling? What is the reason?

I can understand not wanting to breastfeed in front of her. That could be a modesty thing. But I can guarentee that you both will be happier if the step daughter is more involved with the baby

♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 11477 posts
23rd Jan

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:
you really need to figure out why you feel like this

The step daughter knows you are pushing her away. Why can't she touch or see or be around her own sibling? What is the reason?

I can understand not wanting to breastfeed in front of her. That could be a modesty thing. But I can guarentee that you both will be happier if the step daughter is more involved with the baby



this and I also agree about rebonding.  You may not think she can sense it but I'm sure she can.