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Is having an abortion selfish IB13010 Due August 15; United States 26 posts
23rd Jan '14

If you know that you and the baby's father won't be together and you don't want to bring the baby into an already separated family because you know how unhappy that made you feel growing up. Please I need help to make the right decision for my baby. I'm desperate. 

~mama~ 4 kids; Susanville, CA, United States 1556 posts
23rd Jan '14

No, you know what is right for you and only you can determine if it is the right choice. 

babymama2492 2 kids; Canada 33 posts
23rd Jan '14

No one can make this important decision for you. My advice is make an iNFORMED decision. Do your research and know all the facts, weigh all the options. No matter what yiu choose have people surrounding yiu that will support your decision you make.

IB13010 Due August 15; United States 26 posts
23rd Jan '14

Is it fair to take the innocent babies life if I feel I'm saving them from far more hardship later in their life?

Jessimoon11 1 child; Tampa, FL, United States 409 posts
23rd Jan '14

Only you can make the right choice for you and your baby. You have to look at it from all angles..if you got an abortion would you regret it the rest of your life? Or...if you kept the baby would you regret the baby? And even though you and the father are not together does not mean that he won't be there for the baby after he/she is born..and it doesn't mean that the baby will not be loved. All that matters is that you love your baby. That's all! All baby's want is love and affection. I understand how it feels not to have your real father around..my real father died when I was 7, I never met him. But I had a step-dad. And he raised me. I was pretty happy as a kid. You just have to do what is best for you and the baby. I personally think... that because you guys are not together then you should have an abortion..my sister-in-law is pregnant right now, she's about 14 weeks and the father is not in her life, he's actually in a different state. But he said he will help support the baby after the baby is born..and I asked her if she ever regretted keeping the baby and she said "after seeing my baby on the ultrasound then I knew that I would keep it."  So hun...it's all up to you..you just need to think what YOU want and what YOU think is best. Don't let other people affect your decision. :)

~mama~ 4 kids; Susanville, CA, United States 1556 posts
23rd Jan '14

You should delete this thread and repost it in Abortion Survivors, it's protected and you can't get attacked for any decision you make. 

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27768 posts
status 23rd Jan '14

The only decision that is a good decision is one that YOU make that is best for YOU. If you make a decision that goes against what you know is best... that's when it is selfish. If you have a child because "I just cant have an abortion or go through adoption, no way" and put a kid through a crap life... thats selfish. But if you have an abortion because its really right for your life... its not selfish.

MamaTiffy Due August 2 (girl); 2 kids; Sunnyvale, CA, United States 8740 posts
23rd Jan '14

Quoting IB13010:
Is it fair to take the innocent babies life if I feel I'm saving them from far more hardship later in their life?



Id say there's no way to know for sure what hardships a child may or may not face in their lives, regardless of the details surrounding their birth. My daughters father and I split up when she was 7 months old, and I've never once regretted having her regardless of whether he's around or not. My daughter is one of the happiest kids youll ever meet. Sure i know one day I'll have to have a hard discussion with her about why things didn't work out and why her biological dad isn't around but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.


Is adoption something you'd consider, at all?

CircleK 1 child; 1 angel baby; Federal Way, WA, United States 11428 posts
23rd Jan '14

It is your choice and absolutely up to you. Make sure you do your research and think it out carefully prior to making a decision. Every situation is different.

Chelsey Frederick Due May 22 (girl); Coushatta, LA, United States 147 posts
23rd Jan '14

My mom and dad split up when I was 2 months old. My mom became the dominant parent and I saw my dad every other weekend. He always made sure that I had everything I needed while growing up. I say, if you and the baby's father are not going to be together. It was and is best that y'all made that decision now instead of later. Your baby will grow up already used to the fact that he/she is with you and i'm sure you will give your child all the love in the world. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and I remember when I found out I was pregnant I was 3 weeks. It was not planned and a accident and I couldn't decide if I was happy or not. I was in my senior year in college and I had so many plans and things I wanted to do before deciding to have a baby. For a while, I was depressed because my morning sickness was severe and I had to quit school, cut back on my hours at work and couldn't hang out with my friends anymore. Pretty much…in my head, my life was over. Until I went to that check up and saw my first ultrasound and heard my baby's heartbeat. I started crying tears of joy and just knew that I could never give up my little one. Just think. Even though you and the baby's dad couldn't be together…you will have one person that will love you through all of your faults, mistakes and hard times. That baby will love you will all his/her heart no matter what. This is a decision you need to think about long and hard. It is not selfish if you are thinking about what is best for your baby and not just you. 

Courtly Due September 19; TTC since Dec 2011; Australia 257 posts
23rd Jan '14

To be honest, I would consider adoption before considering abortion (if you haven't already).

It is completely your choice what you do. The fact that you are thinking things through in a logical manner is wonderful.

Best of luck with your decision

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
23rd Jan '14

It is NOT selfish in the least

It's a choice only you can make. I'm a single mom, and I was raised by a single mom. I don't think my life was any harder for it, and I'm making sure that my daughter doesn't suffer hardships. She sees her dad every weekend and he helps take care of her, even though we aren't together

A single parent family isn't the end of the world. 

make sure that whatever you decide is right for you and is something you can live with,. 

Valentyne 1 child; 1 angel baby; United States 45 posts
status 23rd Jan '14

Quoting IB13010:
Is it fair to take the innocent babies life if I feel I'm saving them from far more hardship later in their life?



You sound conflicted with a choice.

If I was in your shoes, I'd keep the baby, however I'm probably older than you as well, so it's completely your call. You have to do what you feel is right for you and the baby. As others have asked, have you considered adoption since you've spoken like that?

Best of luck, think about it, and don't jump the gun on making a choice.

dmartinez 2 kids; Aurora, Colorado 389 posts
23rd Jan '14

No and don't let people make you feel bad about it. You're still young and if you honestly don't think you can handle raising a child on your own you should not be ashamed of an abortion. Yes it is a tough decision to make but I am sure that people will support you no matter what you decide to do. Good luck with everything.

Lovin'mylil'man 1 child; Clearwater, Florida 1210 posts
23rd Jan '14

I wish I could just make the decision for you for the soul purpose that it is a difficult decision to make but truth is you are going to have to make the decision you feel is best not someone else we can't tell you what is best for you. Like another woman said in here weigh all your choices and give it some thought. If you regret your decision later don't beat yourself up about it people make mistakes and by mistakes I mean make choices they thought were good for them but then later found out they weren't ideal for them. GL and I hope that you make the decision you feel is suite for the situation.