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how do I deal with my boyfriends mom ... avery'smommy♥ Due February 13 (girl); 1 child; 86 posts
31st Jan

my boyfriend and I are expecting a baby in about two weeks. both of us are excited..but his mom is controlling. she acts like my daughter is hers, she calls it hers, she says "when I have avery" , won't get a job because she thinks she will have my daughter all the time, and just smothers me so much. she has a ton of baby clothes at her house ...so many that my daughter is going to grow out of them before she even wears them(she got them all for free) & she won't let me have any to bring to my house. she says I need to go shopping if I want more clothes. I'm glad she's excited, but she's in it way too much. should I say anything to her ? or just let it be ? 

dreadluck Due September 3 (girl); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Canada 295 posts
31st Jan

UGH. MILs can be the absolute worst. Mine was supposed to babysit for two hours and kept my newborn for 17 hours, and I only sent enough breastmilk for the two hours, so she formula fed him against my wishes. I tried being straight forward with mine and they all ended up hating me and talking behind my back. Regardless you AND your boyfriend need to be firm and tell her whats bothering you.

You might be surprised with how well being straight forward and honest works and saying "this is bothering me because". That goes for anyone, not just your MIL. Feels great too! 

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22168 posts
31st Jan

My ex mil was the same way, she set-up a nursery at her house and talked about her baby all the time. I just left it alone and when my daughter was born she pretty quickly realized that her ideas of how things were going to be weren't happening.

Momma_Pence 2 kids; Millersburg, Kentucky 502 posts
31st Jan

Say "look, this may piss you off but I need to say this before MY baby comes. You are a controlling, and clingy woman. I understand you are excited about your grand child coming soon, but this child is mine. unless somehow this child will miraculously come out of YOUR vagina, don't say that he is yours!  It is my responsibility to be the parent not yours. Stop trying to claim my fetus as your own!!  Grow up and be the grandma that this child needs not some crazy psycho bitch! Have a nice day. ". :)  

avery'smommy♥ Due February 13 (girl); 1 child; 86 posts
31st Jan

Quoting Ronnie RadKat:
My ex mil was the same way, she set-up a nursery at her house and talked about her baby all the time. I just left it alone and when my daughter was born she pretty quickly realized that her ideas of how things were going to be weren't happening.


that is EXACTLY what she has done. she also has a diaper bag ready at her house..& says I'm going to have my own bag for the hospital and thinks she picked out the outfit for the pictures and everything. it drives me crazy! if I said something, I wouldn't know how to say it. or how to bring it up. every time I say something about being at my house with my daughter or things I want to do with her, she starts crying because she thinks "she is never going to see her"

avery'smommy♥ Due February 13 (girl); 1 child; 86 posts
31st Jan

Quoting Jonnie Wells:
Say "look, this may piss you off but I need to say this before MY baby comes. You are a controlling, and clingy woman. I understand you are excited about your grand child coming soon, but this child is mine. unless somehow this child will miraculously come out of YOUR vagina, don't say that he is yours!  It is my responsibility to be the parent not yours. Stop trying to claim my fetus as your own!!  Grow up and be the grandma that this child needs not some crazy psycho bitch! Have a nice day. ". :)  


I wish I could say that lol that is literallly how i feel exactly. 

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
31st Jan

How dare your daughter's grandmother offer free babysitting and buy her a shitload of clothes.You should say something, and it should be "thank you."

AshleyRios817 Due September 14 (girl); 3 kids; United States 65 posts
31st Jan

when I had my daughter my MIL was almost the same way.... she set up a room just for my daughter always bought her ALOT of clothes that she would grow out of before she got to wear them when I had my daughter she was in the room and always wanted to be around her and when we got released from the hospital we wanted to go to our home but she insisted that we go stay at her house the whole 6 wks of recovery when my twin boys came she wasn't as bad and just wanted to help out and now that im pregger again shes excited but me and her have gotten closer but she don't smuther me or the kids like she use too lol

hope things get better for you hun good luck

avery'smommy♥ Due February 13 (girl); 1 child; 86 posts
31st Jan

Quoting Red Bottom:
How dare your daughter's grandmother offer free babysitting and buy her a shitload of clothes.You should say something, and it should be "thank you."


she has not bought her a single thing!?! people have givin it to me and my bf and she wont let me have any of the millllions of clothes to take to my house & its not babysitting when she got fired from her job when she found out & won't find a new one because "she's gonna have her" . she's only 40 years old...its not like she's a cute little old grandma. she has two kids of her own she needs to support ...that are young but would rather get money from unemployment. 

avery'smommy♥ Due February 13 (girl); 1 child; 86 posts
31st Jan

Quoting AshleyRios817:
when I had my daughter my MIL was almost the same way.... she set up a room just for my daughter always bought her ALOT of clothes that she would grow out of before she got to wear them when I had my daughter she was in the room and always wanted to be around her and when we got released from the hospital we wanted to go to our home but she insisted that we go stay at her house the whole 6 wks of recovery when my twin boys came she wasn't as bad and just wanted to help out and now that im pregger again shes excited but me and her have gotten closer but she don't smuther me or the kids like she use too lol

hope things get better for you hun good luck


I hope it calms down for me too lol, I like that she's like that, its just too much

Randilion 2 kids; Jared Leto's Pants, :D, Antarctica 10171 posts
31st Jan

Quoting Red Bottom:
How dare your daughter's grandmother offer free babysitting and buy her a shitload of clothes.You should say something, and it should be "thank you."


:!:

I see nothing wrong with anything she's doing. She's excited for her grandchild, nothing wrong with that. 

My in-laws are moving 7 hours as we speak from the place they've lived the past 10 years to be with their grandchildren. They bought a house and have 2 rooms just for the kids, and are welcome and want to watch them whenever they can. Maybe once your daughter's here you'll appreciate how she's feeling. 
.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
31st Jan

Quoting avery'smommy♥:

she has not bought her a single thing!?! people have givin it to me and my bf and she wont let me have any of the millllions of clothes to take to my house & its not babysitting when she got fired from her job when she found out & won't find a new one because "she's gonna have her" . she's only 40 years old...its not like she's a cute little old grandma. she has two kids of her own she needs to support ...that are young but would rather get money from unemployment. 


So it's not babysitting because she was fired? By all means, go pay $1200 a month for babysitting while she's at home. Or you could stop being whiny.

And if people gave YOU the clothes, they would be at YOUR house. Correct?

avery'smommy♥ Due February 13 (girl); 1 child; 86 posts
31st Jan

Quoting Red Bottom:

So it's not babysitting because she was fired? By all means, go pay $1200 a month for babysitting while she's at home. Or you could stop being whiny.

And if people gave YOU the clothes, they would be at YOUR house. Correct?


she has a family to take care of herself! she needs to worry about their food and shelter when I already have when I'm doimg under control. my sister is a nanny. its not like I'd need her all the time. yeah, I guess its nice ..she's just smuthering me so much!!! 

SUPERNOVA♡ 1 child; Fort Lauderdale, FL, United States 5288 posts
31st Jan

Quoting Red Bottom:
How dare your daughter's grandmother offer free babysitting and buy her a shitload of clothes.You should say something, and it should be "thank you."


Exclamation i have been seeing so many of these kind of posts lately! Its ridiculous lol My mil is like this but i actually love that my son has such a good grandma that is so involved. I don't get what the problem is.

**Awaiting My BFP** TTC since Dec 2012; 2 kids; Red Bud, Illinois 3126 posts
31st Jan

I know what you mean. My Ex MIL was so bad that she would try and tell me how to fold clothes. Talk about controlling. Who cares how I fold my towels. That's the way I like them!