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Cast Your Vote:

    • Hyphenate last name -- Votes: 7
    • Mothers Last Name -- Votes: 7
    • Fathers Last Name -- Votes: 7
Hyphenating Last names....I need advice Kristin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Sauk Rapids, MN, United States 31 posts
7th Feb

I am having a baby boy in April. The father and I are not together and do not plan to get back together. We are still good friends and talk on a daily basis. We have been great about coming to agreements, but a new one has arose and I don't know what to do.

First let me point out, if I ever get married, I will hyphenate my last name. I feel I have made a reputation and a person with my last name and I don't want to give that part of me up.

I want to hyphenate our child's last name. I feel the child should have something from the both of us. I don't want him to have just my last name, because I feel this would be unfair to the father. But I also don't want him to just have the fathers last name. I have debated this topic so much, I just don't know what to do. Do anyone have any suggestions or an opinion on the subject?

Feedback is much appreciated!

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46491 posts
7th Feb

My daughter hates her hyphenated last name.  More often than not, one of the names gets dropped for ease.


Klaus 2 kids; Mississippi 24187 posts
7th Feb

I went through a similar situation with my first. I ended up giving him dad's last name just because a hyphenated last name for a boy is pretty unusual and I thought when he got older it would bother him. Dad and I are married now and my last name is hyphenated, but like another poster said, part of it always gets dropped. Everyone just uses my husband's last name when they are talking to me

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22168 posts
7th Feb

Quoting speaktruth2powr:
My daughter hates her hyphenated last name.  More often than not, one of the names gets dropped for ease.




My youngest has a hyphenated name and its really annoying to explain every time someone asks for his name (drs appts ect). I'm thinking of making my last name a second mn for him instead of hyphenated. 

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66894 posts
7th Feb

Yeah.... myself and LO will be getting SO's last name.

Our last names when hyphenated is Little-Lipps. Not ever happening.... ever 38

Kristin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Sauk Rapids, MN, United States 31 posts
7th Feb

I want to give the child an option to choose when he is older if need be. So whose last name would you give the child then? The father and I are good friends but will never get back together!

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46491 posts
7th Feb

Quoting Kristin:
I want to give the child an option to choose when he is older if need be. So whose last name would you give the child then? The father and I are good friends but will never get back together!


Definitely the mother's name.

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66894 posts
7th Feb

Quoting Kristin:
I want to give the child an option to choose when he is older if need be. So whose last name would you give the child then? The father and I are good friends but will never get back together!


Your last name. I told SO that LO would only get his last name if we were engaged/married. We're engaged... so LO will get his last name. If we were just dating or not even together, my last name.

Daynah [L&C&N] 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Orlando, Florida 784 posts
7th Feb

I grew up with (and still have) a hyphenated last name. I was adopted from Peru and in order to obtain a new birth certificate my parents had to have both their last names be my last name. And since my mom never changed her last name when she married my dad, it turned into a hyphenated last name. I liked it my whole life, even though it sounds weird. Although I usually just used my Dad's last name on papers. But when it came to official documents and such, I'd have people ask why my last name was like that and I just explained it to them. Never bothered me once my whole life. I like it. So much so that when I got married I opted not to take my husband's last name. Although he hates that, and I think it embarrasses him most of the time, I stood my ground. My children have his last name though. Although I did suggest the kids getting all the last names (which would have been 3), but I knew they'd probably hate it and that wasn't my choice to make for them so they just have one last name.

Completely up to you with whatever you decide though. Like I said, my hyphenated last name never ever bothered me growing up.

Addi&Aria'smama Due January 23 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 5732 posts
7th Feb

Quoting speaktruth2powr:

Definitely the mother's name.


I definitely agree with this. I work in an ER and have to ask for names all day long. Nothing is more frustrating than to bring 4 children in and all 4 of them have different last names and you have a different last name than all of them.

kjxfiueridhf23irht924 none of your business, CA, United States 1507 posts
7th Feb

I am very traditional so I think the father's last name is appropriate. 

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46491 posts
7th Feb

Quoting Addi's Momma:

I definitely agree with this. I work in an ER and have to ask for names all day long. Nothing is more frustrating than to bring 4 children in and all 4 of them have different last names and you have a different last name than all of them.


Or on the other side, having to show paper work to prove you are the mother of your own child.


*frisky2times* Due August 27 (girl); 3 kids; El Paso, TX, United States 2819 posts
8th Feb

I gave ds his dad's last name as a son I think they should carry on the fathers name. I never had to "prove" I was the mother lol! I personally would give all my sons the fathers last name if I had a daughter I may hyphenate it or just use mine. I wouldn't worry about whether is convenient tho for other people that's silly I think you should do what feels right for you I think in your situation it may be best to hyphenate unless they are both long than I'd pick just one.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46491 posts
8th Feb

Quoting *frisky2times*:
I gave ds his dad's last name as a son I think they should carry on the fathers name. I never had to "prove" I was the mother lol! I personally would give all my sons the fathers last name if I had a daughter I may hyphenate it or just use mine. I wouldn't worry about whether is convenient tho for other people that's silly I think you should do what feels right for you I think in your situation it may be best to hyphenate unless they are both long than I'd pick just one.


That's your experience, not the experience of other people.

αuτumnαl ~, FL, United States 67180 posts
status 9th Feb

I took care of twin boys who had their mom's last name and their dad's last name as a second middle name.