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Guilty about breastfeeding Leah+2 2 kids; Texas 5797 posts
10th Feb

This is NOT about gloating. 

Does anyone else feel guilty about being able to easily breastfeed? I had a rough start with DS but then made it til 2.5 years. And now DD has been doing awesome and we're at 5 months so far. Where as my SIL has 3 kids and has tried to breastfeed each one of them and couldnt get a good enough supply (I tried to help but it wasnt much good over the phone). Even my sister could only breastfeed her daughter for 4 months before her supply died out. 


Idk. Sometimes I feel guilty because it comes so easy for me but not for other.... 

Mama2(three)Boys ♥ 3 kids; New Jersey 9331 posts
status 10th Feb

I felt the same way. I had sucha easy time breastfeeding meanwhile everyone I talked to told me how hard it was and that they struggled to breastfeed.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46199 posts
status 10th Feb

That is wonderful for you and your children, and you should never feel guilty about it.

With my first, my milk didn't come in properly and I was young and didn't get the support I needed to work on supply, latch, etc.

With my second, I'm still having a ton of issues. My daughter has a small mouth, and we had an issue with latching, which caused my supply to dwindle.  However, she is almost 2.5 months and we have at least one feed a day from the breast and I pump a second bottle for her.


linsα Sayama Hills, TY, Japan 30842 posts
status 10th Feb

No, but then again I don't know anyone who actually put in the work to get the results. Everyone I know who says they "tried their hardest" really wasn't doing it right. So in some ways I feel bad for them being misinformed and hopefully they can try harder the next time, but I don't feel bad at the same time, does that make sense? 

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 14786 posts
status 10th Feb

Quoting linsα:
No, but then again I don't know anyone who actually put in the work to get the results. Everyone I know who says they "tried their hardest" really wasn't doing it right. So in some ways I feel bad for them being misinformed and hopefully they can try harder the next time, but I don't feel bad at the same time, does that make sense? 


I kind of agree with this. My friends all started out attempting to breastfed but really didn't seem to care ENOUGH about being successful with it to do their own research during pregnancy, and then after when they ran into troubles, just didn't try. It's something you have to REALLY care about. 

Leah+2 2 kids; Texas 5797 posts
10th Feb

Quoting linsα:
No, but then again I don't know anyone who actually put in the work to get the results. Everyone I know who says they "tried their hardest" really wasn't doing it right. So in some ways I feel bad for them being misinformed and hopefully they can try harder the next time, but I don't feel bad at the same time, does that make sense? 


I guess that's how I feel a little too... a lot of people just assume it's super easy to do. Just pop a boob out right? But it takes a LOT of work in the beginning. 

Super Mommy! Pasadena, CA, United States 13049 posts
status 10th Feb

Nope, never felt guilty for being able to successfully breastfeed my kids. It's never even crossed my mind.

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 14786 posts
status 10th Feb

Quoting Leah+2:

I guess that's how I feel a little too... a lot of people just assume it's super easy to do. Just pop a boob out right? But it takes a LOT of work in the beginning. 


That's how it was for us but I still don't feel guilty, though I do feel bad for mothers of babies with latching issues, tongue ties, etc. Most of the issues are just with women not knowing what to expect, and then you hear so many women talking about how they weren't able to produce enough, etc., when really or bodies were made to do this and that number shouldn't be so high. Things like a lot of mothers think they're not producing enough when their baby constantly wants to nurse, or when their milk evens out and their breasts don't feel full anymore.. There's just too much doubting going on and not enough education. 

Legendary 2 kids; Beverly Hills, California 59667 posts
10th Feb

Quoting linsα:
No, but then again I don't know anyone who actually put in the work to get the results. Everyone I know who says they "tried their hardest" really wasn't doing it right. So in some ways I feel bad for them being misinformed and hopefully they can try harder the next time, but I don't feel bad at the same time, does that make sense? 


As shitty as that sounded to someone who wasn't able to breastfeed as long, I agree. 

I make excuses as to why I stopped early and I did try reasonably hard to continue but not near as hard as others. Everyone has road blocks in breastfeeding, teething, low supply, thrush, etc.. but it's overcoming those and some people (like me) choose to give up instead. 

linsα Sayama Hills, TY, Japan 30842 posts
status 10th Feb

Quoting Legendary Amanda:

As shitty as that sounded to someone who wasn't able to breastfeed as long, I agree. 

I make excuses as to why I stopped early and I did try reasonably hard to continue but not near as hard as others. Everyone has road blocks in breastfeeding, teething, low supply, thrush, etc.. but it's overcoming those and some people (like me) choose to give up instead. 


It is shitty but it seems to always ring true. I made excuses with my first and gave up long before I should have. With my second I was determined not to give up and here I am at two years trying to get her off of me. 

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46199 posts
status 10th Feb

Quoting [[Breezy]]:

That's how it was for us but I still don't feel guilty, though I do feel bad for mothers of babies with latching issues, tongue ties, etc. Most of the issues are just with women not knowing what to expect, and then you hear so many women talking about how they weren't able to produce enough, etc., when really or bodies were made to do this and that number shouldn't be so high. Things like a lot of mothers think they're not producing enough when their baby constantly wants to nurse, or when their milk evens out and their breasts don't feel full anymore.. There's just too much doubting going on and not enough education. 


I'm not producing enough.

Since birth, when my daughter gave signs that she was hungry, she'd go onto the breast first. I tried finger feeding her formula because it was closer to a nipple than a bottle, in the hopes of having her latch.  I tried taping a small feeding tube to my nipple in the hopes of having her latch. I've been taking fenugreek and blessed thistle for 2 months now. I've been pumping in the hopes of giving my daughter at least a little bit of breast milk every day because of the benefits of it. I've spent hours in person and on the phone with lactation consultants. I've researched and been shown different positions to try. I drink what seems like several litres of water every day and eat far more calories than I need in the hopes of somehow kicking things into gear.

So, no...every woman's body doesn't just "do it".

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 14786 posts
status 10th Feb

Quoting speaktruth2powr:

I'm not producing enough.

Since birth, when my daughter gave signs that she was hungry, she'd go onto the breast first. I tried finger feeding her formula because it was closer to a nipple than a bottle, in the hopes of having her latch.  I tried taping a small feeding tube to my nipple in the hopes of having her latch. I've been taking fenugreek and blessed thistle for 2 months now. I've been pumping in the hopes of giving my daughter at least a little bit of breast milk every day because of the benefits of it. I've spent hours in person and on the phone with lactation consultants. I've researched and been shown different positions to try. I drink what seems like several litres of water every day and eat far more calories than I need in the hopes of somehow kicking things into gear.

So, no...every woman's body doesn't just "do it".


I feel for you and applaud you for trying so hard, but please don't put words into my mouth,  because I didn't say every woman should be able to do it, like not even in the slightest. 

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11950 posts
10th Feb

It's not something  you should feel guilty about, instead be grateful and enjoy the experience. I have felt guilty with breastfeeding but not because it was easy to do. With our oldest it was a nightmare until around six months then suddenly it just clicked. I don't know I had pretty bad PPD with her though too. She also had reflux, and a bad latch. 

With our youngest it was easy right from the start, but then my PPD was more controlled with placenta pills and she did not have reflux. I am extrememly grateful for it.

Squid Kid Unavailable, NA, United States 32450 posts
10th Feb

Quoting linsα:
No, but then again I don't know anyone who actually put in the work to get the results. Everyone I know who says they "tried their hardest" really wasn't doing it right. So in some ways I feel bad for them being misinformed and hopefully they can try harder the next time, but I don't feel bad at the same time, does that make sense? 


I tried damn near everything to continue BF with DD. When she was born, she had blood sugar issues and we had to suppliment. This isn't the "Oh, you just wanted a quick fix for "low blood sugar baby" I mean- all the women in my family are hypoglycemic and it can cause us to go unconscious or into coma or seizure. I was not going to be selfish and try to breastfeed when there was her health on the line. 

My nipples were flat. VERY flat. Like they'd never been erect in my life. I wore nipple shields 24/7 and tried pumping. DD was a champ and latched to anything and everything with no nipple confusion. But then I got put on a birth control  that dried up my supply around 3 months. I was only on it for 3 weeks before taking it out and then I tried 3 cups of mother's milk tea a day, pumping only to get 0.5oz combined, I was hand expressing and using the pump at any chance as well as trying to feed. Then I tried Fenugreek- which worked but because of my hypoglycemia, it plummeted my blood sugar dangerously low to take any of it. So I just gave up at 4 months. I couldn't take it anymore and I felt so guilty about being  unable to.

linsα Sayama Hills, TY, Japan 30842 posts
status 10th Feb

Then YOU tried everything you could. Most women do not have that many hurdles to overcome. And the fact that you were able to ride it out for four months is completely different then the mother who gives up after two weeks of half ass trying.