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breastfeeding advice? Shaeleeesunshine 1 child; Durhum, nc, United States 9 posts
10th Feb '14

I know the best option would be to just quit smoking. but i guess im selfish and its hard so do and i was planning on breastfeeding and did at first. then a few days ago my boyfriend decided i had to switch to formula, when i didnt want to he got his mother to lecture me until i changed my mind and then he told me if he catches me feeding her anything other than the formula he'll take her from me. ive googled it and everythings telling me its better to quit fut if i cant just to cut down as much as i can and try to only smoke after i feed her to give the nicotine time to filter out alittle bit...but "google can tell you anything" as he says. so i guess im just wondering would breastfeeding still be better for her with the nicotine than formula?

MommaNoodle 2 kids; Pennsylvania 13115 posts
10th Feb '14

have you talked to the doctor or a lactation consultant?  i don't know about the effects of smoking or nicotine on babies who are breastfed, but i think if it was me i would still breastfeed and try to cut back on the cigarettes as much as possible while i was.  idk.  it's not fair of your boyfriend/husband and his mom to make the decision for you.  if they have some kind of proof and statistical or medical findings, then i'd review it and make the choice from there.  but i really don't think you should just stop without getting a medical opinion first if breastfeeding is what you really want to do.  good luck!

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 47136 posts
status 10th Feb '14

Does he take her because he is worried about her health with you smoking?


Ben. 3 kids; Minnesota 7963 posts
10th Feb '14

It is better to smoke and breastfeed than not to breastfeed at all.
http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/smoking.html

also, it is your choice, not theirs.  Just don't smoke around the baby, wear a coat while you smoke and remove it when you are around the baby.

Shaeleeesunshine 1 child; Durhum, nc, United States 9 posts
10th Feb '14

he says he just doesnt want her to get addicted to it and he thinks that the formulas more nutritious

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 47136 posts
status 10th Feb '14

Quoting CrapBag.:
It is better to smoke and breastfeed than not to breastfeed at all.
http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/smoking.html

also, it is your choice, not theirs.  Just don't smoke around the baby, wear a coat while you smoke and remove it when you are around the baby.


Actually, the father should have a say in the health and welfare of his child.

It's not just about wearing a jacket, she should also be washing her hands, wearing her hair back, and cut down the number of cigarettes she is smoking in a day.

It's not just the transmission of nicotine which is a potential problem, a far larger one is 2nd and 3rd hand smoke....which is linked to infants getting colic, SIDS, asthma, and upper respertory issues.

Melissa 1 child; Michigan 1411 posts
10th Feb '14

If you are smoking and giving formula, your baby is still probably being exposed to second and third hand smoke. So it would be better to breastfeed and smoke, than smoke and give formula. You need to smoke outside after you have fed baby,change your clothes and wash your hands, I'd even brush my teeth. I know it's hard to quit, but you can do it.  I quit when I got pregnant and it is the best decision I have ever made. Smoking is nasty. It smells soooo bad and you don't realize it until after you quit just how nasty EVERYTHING smells. Even if you go outside it gets on your clothes, skin and hair and that is not something that you want around your baby.
Formula isn't more nutritious than breast milk.

Slowly wean yourself down. Stop going to the store to get cigarettes. Does your boyfriend smoke? If he does, he should quit too since he is very worried about the transmission of nicotine to his baby, 2nd/3rd hand smoke is not good for baby either!!


Shaeleeesunshine 1 child; Durhum, nc, United States 9 posts
10th Feb '14

i think he has a say so in it to...but i kind of think he just doesnt want me to. i said i was just going to quit smoking and he got mad and he told me that she'll be better off with a bottle and earlier i heard his mom talking to her aunt about his sister (she had a baby 2 days before i had mine) breastfeeding and she said she didnt like it and the reason why i wasnt is because i dont produce enough milk but ive been pumping so it doesnt dry out incase he changes his mind and i get close to two oz every time. its a complicated situation and im really not sure how to deal with it so ive just been going with it.

Melissa 1 child; Michigan 1411 posts
10th Feb '14

Quoting Shaeleeesunshine:
i think he has a say so in it to...but i kind of think he just doesnt want me to. i said i was just going to quit smoking and he got mad and he told me that she'll be better off with a bottle and earlier i heard his mom talking to her aunt about his sister (she had a baby 2 days before i had mine) breastfeeding and she said she didnt like it and the reason why i wasnt is because i dont produce enough milk but ive been pumping so it doesnt dry out incase he changes his mind and i get close to two oz every time. its a complicated situation and im really not sure how to deal with it so ive just been going with it.


So even if you quit smoking he doesn't want you to breastfeed? That's not his choice, not is it his mother's choice. Why are you with someone who is making decisions for you and threatening you if you don't comply with him? Get away from him. Cut out cigarettes completely and put that baby on the b**b.

Shaeleeesunshine 1 child; Durhum, nc, United States 9 posts
10th Feb '14

were temporarily staying at his grandmas house and she smokes and doesnt want to go outside so everyones just been going to the back room and leaving the baby in the living room...it kind of upset me because i planned on keeping it away from her but i cant do anything about it right now. ive been washing my hands constantly ever since i went to the hospital to have her. i had quit whenever i found out i was pregnant but i wasnt really in a stable situation until resently and had to move in with my family and everyone there stresses me out and then offers me cigarettes so i took them and just cut down to about a half a pack a day and i planned on quitting again when we got out of their house but it didnt happen. i tried to get him to quit whenever i did the first time but he said there was no reason he should and he would just go outside (which he did until i started again)

Shaeleeesunshine 1 child; Durhum, nc, United States 9 posts
10th Feb '14

Quoting Melissa:

So even if you quit smoking he doesn't want you to breastfeed? That's not his choice, not is it his mother's choice. Why are you with someone who is making decisions for you and threatening you if you don't comply with him? Get away from him. Cut out cigarettes completely and put that baby on the b**b.


thats kind of how he sounds. i asked him about it and he said that he just cares about her well being and this way i can be happy and she'll still be healthy . and ive been with him for a really long time and love him he treats me great (especially since the baby) and hes a really good dad. we just have really big disagreements every once in a while

Leasey 1 child; Australia 76 posts
10th Feb '14

I agree with everyone else, much better to bf and manage yr smoking, like outside, never in the car, not right before a feed, change yr top and wash your hands. Cut down etc.

While we all know smoking is not good, it's very hard to stop and there is a bit of a debate about second hand smoke. It stinks, but its not proven to be as dangerous as its made out.some claims around smoking have been exagerrated. 

That's really sad to hear about your Mum in law, I take it OP that you are younger and they can tell you what to do? No matter your age, you're a mother now and your baby is your first priority. Please don't let anyone force you into parenting choices you aren't comfortable with. My sister was 19 when she had her first and she has a lot of regrets about the choices she felt she had to make because of her ex husband and his family and our parents. 

If you google this with la leche league, ot breast feeding associations you shout find some pamphlets or info you can show them to support your decision. I do think your boyfriend has a say in reading his child but he also can't overrule your choices. Hopefully you can show him what the professionals or your doctor, or us says and if you tell him that you are managing it like we have suggested, he might change his stance and support you.