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Can't stop blaming myself 3boys &1girl Due August 29; 3 kids; Madison, wi, United States 827 posts
14th Feb

I went in yesterday to get my blood work done to check for down syndrome and stuff I also saw the a specialist to talk about what to expect we got to talking about my oldest son who was born deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other she wants to take his blood to check if it genetic or spontaneous she said 75% of the time it's genetic and 25% spontaneous she said this baby
has about a 10% chance since I have one child hard of hearing my two other children both dont have a hearing problem she said if it is genetic its because both me and my husband would have to have family history of hearing problems if it's spontaneous something happened while pregnant I'm just so scared that it will come back spontaneous and I will hate my self when we found out about hes hearing I cried non stop couldn't sleep I blame myself as I didn't know I was pregnant until I was three months I didn't have prenatal vitamins,  did eat but once a day and took advil. I can't stop crying I feel like it's my fault so I'm hoping its genetic is that wrong of me?

L&J ♥ +1 Due August 29; 2 kids; New Jersey 6100 posts
14th Feb

Aww hun its understandable that you feel that way but its not your fault. Even if it did happen during your pregnancy it could of just been a fluke thing. Dont beat yourself up over it!

Mommy&Noah Los Angelos, CA, United States 1372 posts
14th Feb

Even if it did happen during pregnancy it probably was a fluke. I didn't find out I was pregnant until about 3 months and lets just say I did a whole lot and my kid is completely fine. It's not your fault you can only do the best you can do.

OurBeautifulDisaster 2 kids; Hamilton, ON, Canada 932 posts
14th Feb

You cant blame yourself. Mainly...because it wont help anything.

My son was born with cancer. I could sit and blame myself all day for tanning while pregnant, working near radios while pregnant, sitting at a computer all day, heating my lunch up in the microwave,  or that day I had a taste of raw cake batter.

But will it change things? No. Whats happened has happened, and we can not be strong and deal with the challenges if we are too busy sitting around wallowing in our what ifs.

**Awaiting My BFP** TTC since Dec 2012; 2 kids; Red Bud, Illinois 2362 posts
14th Feb

Don't blame yourself. I know exactly how you feel momma. My first daughter has VUR. It's a urinary reflux. It can cause kidney infections and such. My second daughter has an immune deficiency. She has to get multiple shots, more than a "normal child". They both take preventative medicines daily. 

I found out with both of them super early. They don't think it was anything genetic but spontaneous. All tests came back normal while pregnant. 

I always think though, what if it was my fault... But all you can do is help them through it and be the best parent you can be for them!

if you need to talk to someone you can always message me!

3boys &1girl Due August 29; 3 kids; Madison, wi, United States 827 posts
14th Feb

Thanks ladies I just can't help but to blame myself of course I'm strong for my son he doesn't see me crying or blaming myself I keep it all in then when I'm by myself I break. I guess all I can do is wait to see if its genetic or spontaneous either way I know I have to just take it day by say and be there for my son and do all I can do to help him!

3boys &1girl Due August 29; 3 kids; Madison, wi, United States 827 posts
14th Feb

Quoting **Awaiting My BFP**:
Don't blame yourself. I know exactly how you feel momma. My first daughter has VUR. It's a urinary reflux. It can cause kidney infections and such. My second daughter has an immune deficiency. She has to get multiple shots, more than a "normal child". They both take preventative medicines daily. 

I found out with both of them super early. They don't think it was anything genetic but spontaneous. All tests came back normal while pregnant. 

I always think though, what if it was my fault... But all you can do is help them through it and be the best parent you can be for them!

if you need to talk to someone you can always message me!


Thank you I appreciate it