My last post can better explain.
Today I'm going to visit Jarren. Tomorrow is his birthday but with work I won't be able to go. It's the first time since the year he died that I'm going. I have a clusterfuck of emotions right now. I wrote him a letter. I will get him a card, balloons and a cupcake (for his dad). I am hoping to get some peace. At least for now. I don't think I will ever be at peace with the situation but I can't change it.
I have finally been in contact with his dad and sister. It's made me feel a bit better. His dad had to move out of the state. He couldn't stand to be here anymore. His sister lives 3 hours away. His brother lives not far from where he's buried but doesn't come too often. Now I feel bad for saying I feel like they all forgot him... Everyone copes in different ways.
Its such a nice day today. I really feel like I'm ready to do this. Wish me luck.
Good luck dear. I read your last post...and wow. No amount of time will take away the hurt. I hope you can find peace, even if its just a little.