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Gone * Cow. TTC since May 2014; 2 angel babies; Phoenix, AZ, United States 6588 posts
8th Aug

 

RJD5 Due March 27 (girl); United States 2054 posts
8th Aug

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Your coworker is absolutely acting inappropriately. I can't believe she is being so heartless in this situation. Unfortunately, I'm not sure is the best move here - it may come back to bite you in the butt; especially if she gets a warning or something and you're still working with her. Also, I'm not sure if they can do anything if it wasn't during work hours while on the job. But I say do what you need to.

ʟɨṭṭʟɛ ʝǟռ15 Due January 16; TTA since Jan 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; United States 577 posts
8th Aug

Quoting RJD5:
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Your coworker is absolutely acting inappropriately. I can't believe she is being so heartless in this situation. Unfortunately, I'm not sure is the best move here - it may come back to bite you in the butt; especially if she gets a warning or something and you're still working with her. Also, I'm not sure if they can do anything if it wasn't during work hours while on the job. But I say do what you need to.


Yeah, I definitely wouldn't get work involved in your personal life and since she didn't do these things on work time ect.. Truly there isn't much they can do. She shouldn't have been insensitive, ppl can say/do some hurtful things and just try not to feed into her negative energy. HR can't really back you up, would only add more drama and possibly more reasons for her to trying getting under your skin so that you'd either quit or get fired.

Ms.Mrs. 2 kids; United States 3587 posts
status 8th Aug

Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 

♥ Mrs. S ♥ Due September 20; 2 kids; Venezuela 13673 posts
8th Aug

Quoting Ms.Mrs.:
Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 


Have you ever had a miscarriage? 
OP I'm sorry you are going through all of this. :( 

ʟɨṭṭʟɛ ʝǟռ15 Due January 16; TTA since Jan 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; United States 577 posts
8th Aug

Quoting Ms.Mrs.:
Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 


I went back to work 9hrs after I miscarried, continued to bleed for 12days (cramps/all) and I definitely didn't want to be at work especially to care for someone else (yes, sounds horrible yet I was a caregiver for the elderly) I only went in bc I felt bad to call off such late notice. I did end up calling my employer at work in tears and took the night off yet worked my normal morning shift. After my 2nd miscarriage, beginning the miscarriage at my clients home that's when I quit my job.. It was too much. I definitely had the emotional support I needed from my family ect. Yet I didn't take time off before bc our family needed the extra income I was bringing in. Truly hope you brush off her words, hope you get to feeling better this wkend. So sorry for your loss. 

Megan❤ TTC since Jun 2013; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 1431 posts
8th Aug

First, I'm so sorry for your loss hon. :( 

Second, your coworker is a d**k and had no reason to say any of those hurtful things to you. I'll say this though, I've had my share of UTIs, and I haven't had one in a long time, but they are no joke.. They are painful and made me miserable when I had them.. But there is no greater pain than losing your child regardless of how far along you were in a pregnancy or how old the child is after it's born.. The pain is different, and healing from a UTI is a walk in the park compared to losing a baby. 

And unless she said those things to you at work, there's nothing you can really do about it unfortunately. But karma will get her eventually.

Just Emily :) 2 kids; Watertown, Sd, United States 10384 posts
status 8th Aug

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's horrible how hurtful some people can be. I agree about not saying anything though or being really careful about it if you do. I had a guy when I was pregnant with ds tells things like he had a coat hanger I could sit on and that the father (now dh) should have slipped the pill in my eggs the next morning and that he could shove me down the stairs if I want. It sucks but I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't want to make it worse. One of the other girls we worked with was offended and said something for me and he was banned from talking to me in class but we lived in the same barracks so it only made things worse outside of class. It sucks that people can be horrible and get away with it and your the bad guy if you say anything

LOX❥ 1 child; wonderland, FL, United States 5630 posts
status 8th Aug

Quoting Ms.Mrs.:
Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 


Exclamation

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23061 posts
8th Aug

I'm so sorry for you being in this situation. 

Jacob'sKeeper 2 kids; some little town, MT, United States 9572 posts
8th Aug

She probably has some pretty shitty stuff going on in her life for her to be so horrible for you. It's def not right for her to be bringing you down after going through a miscarriage. I don't think there is anything you can do about her actions towards you, it would be more or less "tattling". The best thing to do is just distance yourself from her. I would probably confront her and tell her to mind her own damn business, but that always gets me in trouble lol. On another note, be very careful what you post on social networks about work. I have heard of people getting fired for saying things about their work/workers. Even if they don't name names.  

ʟɨṭṭʟɛ ʝǟռ15 Due January 16; TTA since Jan 2014; 1 child; 2 angel babies; United States 577 posts
8th Aug

Quoting Jacob'sKeeper:
She probably has some pretty shitty stuff going on in her life for her to be so horrible for you. It's def not right for her to be bringing you down after going through a miscarriage. I don't think there is anything you can do about her actions towards you, it would be more or less "tattling". The best thing to do is just distance yourself from her. I would probably confront her and tell her to mind her own damn business, but that always gets me in trouble lol. On another note, be very careful what you post on social networks about work. I have heard of people getting fired for saying things about their work/workers. Even if they don't name names.  


This!! 

So true!! I told that to a co-worker of mine after she posted something and without stating the persons name.. 
She literally got fired a few days, after I had a talk to her to be careful bc although she was looking for a job she may be let go if she's not careful. Thank God, she knew i wouldn't have reported her especially since I talked to her to help her out.. I was shocked when she texted me saying "you were right, I just got fired". I couldn't believe it!! 

Ms.Mrs. 2 kids; United States 3587 posts
status 8th Aug

Quoting JanuaryBabe15:

I went back to work 9hrs after I miscarried, continued to bleed for 12days (cramps/all) and I definitely didn't want to be at work especially to care for someone else (yes, sounds horrible yet I was a caregiver for the elderly) I only went in bc I felt bad to call off such late notice. I did end up calling my employer at work in tears and took the night off yet worked my normal morning shift. After my 2nd miscarriage, beginning the miscarriage at my clients home that's when I quit my job.. It was too much. I definitely had the emotional support I needed from my family ect. Yet I didn't take time off before bc our family needed the extra income I was bringing in. Truly hope you brush off her words, hope you get to feeling better this wkend. So sorry for your loss. 


Did your husband get time off to grieve? 

Ms.Mrs. 2 kids; United States 3587 posts
status 8th Aug

Quoting ♥ Mrs. S ♥:

Have you ever had a miscarriage? 
OP I'm sorry you are going through all of this. :( 


Nope.  But I've had babies and other then the emergency c section, I never missed a day of class with my regular birth. 

☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆ 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Grand Forks, ND, United States 46086 posts
8th Aug

Quoting Ms.Mrs.:
Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 


This ...I'm sorry you're going through this but at the same time if you don't want statements made towards you you shouldn't make passive aggressive statements towards others no matter what the situation