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jessicamatlock 1 child; Modesto, California 7622 posts
10th Oct '08

i was always the one who seeked help when i hit rockl bottom.. its not good.. its better to get help before you hit the low so they can try to nip it in the butt

love leo 1 child; United Kingdom 8317 posts
10th Oct '08

ooo never noticed this before!!



i have very bad self loathing issues, as a child i was daiagnosed with ADHD and was pumped full of ritalin, so from no age i was always different, but when i stared the ritalin it was much worse, i was the freak who had to take drugs to be normal, i was a constant dissapointment to my parents, i never did as well as my brother who was the favorirte child, you know how usually the youngest gets away with things because they dont know any better?, well in my house the oldest got away with things because he would know better



from then it was just downhill, i still had to take the ritalin but kids were old enough to understand about it so then i was the ''school druggie'' constant digs and abuse all day, students and teachers alike



mum didnt help much either, constantly telling me im a failure, a freak, a mistake, and her grasbbing my hair and hitting my head off a wall probably didnt help much...



im a mess now, i wont look in the mirror, im fat im ugly im as thick as pig shit and pathetic,



even after a b**b job my self esteem is rock bottom, i fgot it done because 1 i was advised to by a doc for physical and mental reasons, and 2, i thought itd make me feel just that bit more confident, but nope, not i just feel like a stupid ugly girl with big b**bs, and now after Leo my tummy is utterly destroyed



my husband keeps telling me im berautiful but i just cant believe it.. and its gotten to the point where its affecting our relationship, i just dont, and never have had, a sex drive, i never think about it, i never want it and its driving me mad




i could write alot more but the post would be huge and its probably bored you lot to death already ...



just for once id like to be normal, im going to speak to my docs soon about what help i can get and my hubs wants be to ask for viagra :roll:

jessicamatlock 1 child; Modesto, California 7622 posts
10th Oct '08

I put on this mask.. people looking at me would think everything is easy for me.. im great at my job i have a wonderful daughter etc.. but behind it all im a total and utter mess..


i like this forum,... itsmy new vent forum :D

love leo 1 child; United Kingdom 8317 posts
10th Oct '08
Quoting jessicamatlock:
. . : : M e r i : : . . Due June 30; 1 child; Panama City, Florida 1694 posts
10th Oct '08

ooooh how glad i am this is a topic and especially a sticky!! :D



well....recently i was diagnosed with dysthymia disorder after my mom attempted suicide in august, it hit me extremely hard. i always knew i was depressed, from an early age, but i didnt know it wasnt "normal". i've gone thru a WHOLE LOT of things in my life that noone should ever have to experience, ever. and because of these things, i have a very hard time with opening up to people and letting out what is bothering me. so i keep it all in, then i blow a fuse!! i have anger management issues, and need help expressing myself. i am in therapy and see a doc on the regular. i'm currenly taking 100mg Zoloft. i havent been on it long enough to see a difference. but i hope it kicks in soon.
glad to know i'm not alone on this site!!
*hugs*

jessicamatlock 1 child; Modesto, California 7622 posts
10th Oct '08

i tink there is more on this site then we think.. people are to scared to admit they rent perfect alot of times

Heddur 52 kids; Saskatchewan 28827 posts
10th Oct '08
Quoting jessicamatlock:
. . : : M e r i : : . . Due June 30; 1 child; Panama City, Florida 1694 posts
10th Oct '08
Quoting The Male Brain{Heather}:
Heddur 52 kids; Saskatchewan 28827 posts
10th Oct '08
Quoting Adrielle's Mommy, Meri:
. . : : M e r i : : . . Due June 30; 1 child; Panama City, Florida 1694 posts
10th Oct '08
Quoting The Male Brain{Heather}:
Heddur 52 kids; Saskatchewan 28827 posts
10th Oct '08
Quoting Adrielle's Mommy, Meri:
jessicamatlock 1 child; Modesto, California 7622 posts
11th Oct '08

i feel the same way.. i try to say how i feel but i try to make it nice.. its like sometimes i wanna tye in all caps YOUR AN IDIOT well a little more then that.. but there are some people on here who really annoy me and in real life i would of probally karate chopped them haha

♥Anαstacia Portland, Oregon 4311 posts
11th Oct '08

i have horrible self esteem and lately its gotten much worse. I feel ugly and fat even though im only 111 pounds. I am super pale, i can't tan and my boyfriend is obsessed with tan skin. Im irish so if i tan i get freckles that last forever. I feel like im never good enough and never will be.

Courtney-Brooke 1 child; South Rockwood, Michigan 15733 posts
11th Oct '08

This thread is a good idea!



I have been bipolar ever since I was 19.

thisunrest India 10364 posts
11th Oct '08
Quoting Elizabeth (mountainbaby):