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5 Year Old Lying- Appropriate Punishment? WeenieMachine 3 kids; Japan 27915 posts
10th Nov '08

I've spent the last few weeks under the impression that one of the classmates of my five year old had cut Jaden's hair on more than on occassion. I didn't really have cause to think that he was lying about it and at a conference with his teacher and the principal this morning, it came up again and his teacher said that he asked him about it last week and Jaden said he had done it. News to me. His principal just called and said that she brought both boys in and it came out that Jaden did it himself, he couldn't say why he blamed someone else in the class and that the other boy confirmed he had nothing to do with it.

I also just got a call from his teacher (yeah, a nice double whammy) that Jaden switched his milk tag from white to chocolate after the counts had been sent in and that she saw him do it. She said it's been a repeat problem for the counts to be wrong but she hasn't witnessed him doing it before but she wanted to let us know that he was caught today.

I'm completely at a loss- I feel like I don't know my own child because I honestly wouldn't have thought he'd so blatantly lie and be deceitful. My husband and I know he needs to be punished and that he's showing that he's on a course to keep on keeping on with the lying if there aren't some consquences but I truly have no idea what is age appropriate or where to even begin. We don't do desserts, I don't keep treats in the house, there'svery little TV that he's allowed so I don't know where to start so he'll understand that what he has done isn't okay and that he needs to change the behavior for the future to avoid more punishment and problems.

Mama D. 18 kids; Georgia 8706 posts
10th Nov '08

Oi, I have no idea.

Have you talked to him about it?
Maybe try to make him feel bad and press the issue of how important telling the truth is.

Kristen515 2 kids; Savannah, Georgia 19594 posts
10th Nov '08

Found this article online:




Most parents worry when their child lies for the first time. It

Asher's mommy 1 child; Grapevine, Texas 4979 posts
10th Nov '08

Take away his favorite toy.... act like you don't know about the milk tags and ask him to tell you if he changed it... until he confesses, keep his toy and limit his play time... then explain to him why it was wrong, and what to do in the future.



My brother also takes away my neice's favorite toys and she has to earn the right to get them back... they keep her toys in the garage and when she's been particularly good, they allow her to go in the garage and pick out one of her toys to take back with her

♥ Dizzy Lizzy ϖ TTC since Dec 2010; 2 kids; Connecticut 38424 posts
10th Nov '08

Does he have a favorite toy that you can take away? Maybe sitting at the table doing nothing for a while? Going to bed early, and discussing why...



Then for rewards to make him work for...Do a favorite snack that you don't have all the time, but allow him to have on occasion to reward him? Has he been looking at a toy, or wanting to do an activity for a while that you can make him work for?



Make sure he knows that you will be talking to his teacher frequently, and that the behavior is uncalled for, and that there will be consequences for his actions everytime he is caught whether at school or home.



Maybe when you believe he is lying, like truly believe, try to get it out of him, and reward him for telling you the truth.



I am not sure how to deal with this kind of situation, it is a 5 year old thing to do because they are realizing they have influence, and that they get in trouble for being bad. So why tell the truth right?!

WeenieMachine 3 kids; Japan 27915 posts
10th Nov '08

We haven't talked to him- he's at school and they both just called within the last half hour. My husband and I definitely want to put up a united front on this one, especially since it looks to be a trend for him at school and we want to put the kibosh on that ASAP.

Thanks for the article. As much as I know it's age appropriate, I just don't want my son to be completely untrustworthy when we're not there to reel it in and set him straight. I'm so... disappointed. Is that wrong?

Mama D. 18 kids; Georgia 8706 posts
10th Nov '08
Quoting jnazmom:
Strangely Stoic 2 kids; Deerfield Beach, Florida 24847 posts
10th Nov '08

do you believe in spanking?

WeenieMachine 3 kids; Japan 27915 posts
10th Nov '08
Quoting ☮♥&Noah:
Anna_M 2 kids; Maryland 3818 posts
11th Nov '08

Has he lied to you or dad at home? Well that you know of?

MissImEricka 2 kids; Pennsylvania 7376 posts
12th Nov '08
Quoting ☮♥&Noah:
WeenieMachine 3 kids; Japan 27915 posts
12th Nov '08
Quoting Anna_M:
Kristen515 2 kids; Savannah, Georgia 19594 posts
12th Nov '08
Quoting MissImEricka: