it's kinda of a long story, but in a nut shell, we were dating. living together. he was CRAZY. for example, he'd wake me up in the middle of the night, sweating and hyperventilating, swearing up and down that i was drugging him and wanted to know why. another example, i woke up one night and he was sitting beside the window, with his shotgun and all he would say was "they're watching me.. they're watching me.." this kinda things went on and on.. so i had to get out.
needless to say, i found out i was pregnant by him a couple months after we broke up. i want absolutely nothing to do with him and i don't want him in my LO life. at all. he called today and said he was getting a court order for a dna test.
does anyone know my legal rights as a mother? do i have to let him see her? i've heard that if i don't take any money from him, that he has no right to see her, is this true?
"i've heard that if i don't take any money from him, that he has no right to see her, is this true?" No that is not true. Unless you have him proved unfit he has rights to his child. I would probably shoot for supervised visits.
You have to look up your state laws. For example, in my state I have custody over my son by default, since I am an un-married mother. So I dont have to let my BD see my son at all.
So, look up your state laws. Its different everywhere.
If only it was that easy.
More and more jurisdictions are standing up for Paternal Rights. Unless you can prove before a judge that he is not fit to be around the child (and I mean providing solid evidence, just saying he did something is called heresay and will be promptly thrown out) then he can be granted visitation rights if he wishes.
Unless you go to court, and he gives up his rights (which some judges don't allow to happen easily) he's going to have rights to the baby. And if he gets a DNA test & it says he's the father, he automactically goes on the birth certificate.
i don't know anything about legal stuff, but if you do have to go to court or anything i would most definitely talk to your lawyer or whoever about his actions while you were together.
If he wants to see his child he has every right to, and it is your obligation to your child for you to get child support. Even if you can afford to support the baby on your own, you are short changing your child by not pursuing it.
But, on the other hand if he is dangerous, your child needs to be protected (by supervised visits, if he wants) but you really should go about doing this all the right and legal way. Just avoiding him may come back to bite you!
Quoting ma ♥:
You have all the same rights he does. You don't have to let him see the LO unless there is a court order. Also if there is no court order that means he can take her and there is nothing you can do. I'd let him get the DNA test done if he wants and I'd file for custody as soon as the baby is born. Just because he's crazy doesn't mean he'll be a bad father though but I'm sure I don't know the whole situation..
Jeez I agree completely with the other mom, if you can't prevent it explain your stories & try your hardest to get supervised visits. Sorry you have to deal with that crazy stuff, that's horrible.
Errrmmm, he sounds potentially dangerous. I'd try to get supervised visitation only, and for his own health, see if he can get a psych eval.
No to the last part , that isn't true. When the child is born he has just as much legal right to the child as you do unless you can prove in court that he is unfit. He has every legal right to order a DNA test once the child is born.
Does he have a criminal or psychiatric history that would show he has mental health problems or is a danger to anyone? If not you're probably going to get joint custody so yes you would have to let him see her.
Not entirely true.
He can still have rights to her even if he isn't paying child support, but he has to go to court to ask for it.
I would file for full custody & child support, and then ask for the courts to order him to do a psychiatric evaluation before visitation is issued. Then, I would also request supervised visitation contingent on him getting mental help.
On another note, it sounds like your ex has schizophrenia, which is hereditary....so if nothing else, having him diagnosed will be important for your child.