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. , Richmond, VA, United States 74783 posts
status 18th Jun '13
Quoting Chim Richalds:" Sometimes she'll just be like...mom I just want a spoonful of peanut butter. I think, I could fight ... [snip!] ... it on something, but she'd just lick it all off and I'd end up throwing away a perfectly good piece of bread so I just let her."

We totally do the same thing lol. At least they're getting some protein I guess haha. :D

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
18th Jun '13
Quoting
. , Richmond, VA, United States 74783 posts
status 18th Jun '13
Quoting Chim Richalds:" Lol I tell myself all sorts of things. More healthy than lucky charms and some kids get that for breakfast ... [snip!] ... breakfast every day! Less sugar than a cup of koolaid, that's a staple in some houses! I am pretty good at justifying stuff."

Exactly. When you put it that way I see nothing wrong with a spoonful of peanut butter lol.

ItsEasyIfYouTry 1 child; Florida 830 posts
21st Jun '13

My toddler and I had such a rough day today. And I totally know it's my fault for letting him get HALT (hungry/angry/lonely/tired) The day ended with my iPhone in a sink full of submerged water. Oy...just wanted to vent and say here's hoping I do better tomorrow with patience and kindness.

May♥ 1 child; Texas 9183 posts
22nd Jun '13

I'm a mother of 15 month old and I am against spanking.
but is it normal to be tempted to spank? I have no Patience, none. I catch myself yelling often and try to justify it by saying ateast I.don't spank.



I want to be different. I want to have patience. I don't want to yell. I need help

. , Richmond, VA, United States 74783 posts
status 22nd Jun '13
Quoting May ♥:" I'm a mother of 15 month old and I am against spanking. but is it normal to be tempted to spank? I have ... [snip!] ... justify it by saying ateast I.don't spank. I want to be different. I want to have patience. I don't want to yell. I need help"

I think it is. Parenting is frustrating. The main thing I would do is walk away first. If your LO is doing something that really triggers you then I would walk away, go into your room alone for a minute or two to breathe and then come out and deal with it. It's really hard to stop yelling, there's definitely no magic fix. It takes a conscious effort and even then you're going to slip up every now and then. So don't beat yourself up. :) Try to keep realistic age expectations. Realize your LO is going to get into things, spill things, make messes, get angry etc. Try to assume the best intentions, s/he's not trying to make a mess s/he's just exploring and found something interesting. S/he's not trying to be defiant s/he just can't control his/her emotions yet (I didn't see if you said you had a boy or a girl lol). Try to see the behaviors as normal to the age and not something that is being done on purpose. That might help to lower your frustration.



And your LO is only 15 months but I think it is helpful to go to your LO and tell him/her that you're sorry for yelling and that you know it's not okay to yell, you're working on expressing your frustrations in a more appropriate way etc.




It's hard to quit yelling if you're a yeller because that's just what you're used to. It's like a loop you're stuck in, it becomes a natural reaction to being stressed. So you just have to find something to break that cycle. So I would definitely start with walking away first, give yourself some time. Maybe even try to whisper at first when you feel really angry. And make sure you're giving yourself some time for "you". You need a break every now and then, it helps you gain perspective too. :)

May♥ 1 child; Texas 9183 posts
22nd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ¿ ¼ ¿:</b>" I think it is. Parenting is frustrating. The main thing I would do is walk away first. If your LO is ... [snip!] ... sure you're giving yourself some time for "you". You need a break every now and then, it helps you gain perspective too. :)"</blockquote>




That'd a lot of good advice. thank you. <3

. , Richmond, VA, United States 74783 posts
status 22nd Jun '13
Quoting May ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting
Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
30th Jul '13

Anyone on here read love and logic? Did you like it/ agree with it?



Some of the things Im not sure I agree with...but havent read the whole book yet...



Anyone have good book suggestions?



Also my son has started smacking me in the face....hard. I tried telling him it hurts me over and over...I ended a nursing session and made him get off the bed for a minute...saying you cant hit mommy...no nursing if you hit mommy.



He still hit me again....so I made him sit with us on the couch...no nursing...he hit me again...His dad yelled at him and made him apologizeto me....he hit me AGAIN....my fiance put him in time out for one minute...telling him no hitting the whole time while he cried....He hasnt hit the past couple of days....but Idk how I feel about what happened....it was late....he was tired..I dont think it was fair to him to put him in time out.



Idk I feel so lost

CLC 32 Weeks Due October 23 (twins); TTC since Jul 2009; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Nebraska 1714 posts
9th Aug '13

So my almost 15 month DD keeps getting on top of the coffee table. I keep pulling her down and telling her no and putting her in time out in the pack and play when she keeps doing it. But yesterday I put her in timeout like 5-6 times. I thought the timeout was working cause when I put her in there she bawls and hates it. But she turns around and gets right back up there. I think she's in a climbing phase. I found her standing on the window sill above the couch.

Baby Liam =D 1 child; Marshfield, Vermont 529 posts
21st Aug '13

Hi all, I plan on non-spanking/hitting....but my fiance thinks our son is going to turn into a brat and get whatever he wants. Does anybody have any resources on why non-spanking and gentle parenting works. I am so against spanking and wont let anybody touch/hurt my child. I don't think my fiance would ever but would like some back up. He doesn't believe me my way of parenting is going to work....which I understand because he grew up in a spanking home.

user banned Due February 28; Japan 28 posts
2nd Sep '13

Dear Sir :
Good day.
Jiamparts is a certificated supplier of Alibaba and Global-Sources, with more than 8 years

Nichole Warner Due December 6; 5 kids; 2 angel babies; Torrington, Connecticut 1644 posts
17th Oct '13

I think I just want to join in on this thread for so many reasons. I have a DD who turns 15 months old tomorrow or in 14 hours lol. SO and I came from very tough environments. My ex hits my older three all the time and I will admit on rare occasions I have too. Won't make excuses but will say it has been in times where I did not know what else to do. Maybe this thread can help me. Any how I do not want to continue parenting my 15 month old the same as my older three were. BUT SO nd I have different opinions but I think he is willing to give new things a try. For example DD just recently started throw tantrums where she starts throwing everything in sight. ie: sippy cups, shoes, toys ect. when she does not get her way. He thinks she should get a swat on her bottom, I think we should re direct her and teach her a better way to handle her anger. My suggestion was to take her in her room and give her some stuffed animals or pillows to throw around. He says when he was a kid that would not have been allowed either, he would have gotten the belt. Just to be clear he would NEVER do that to our DD he just feels that teaching her to throw anything would be wrong that we should think of something else like time out. I don't think time out is the right thing right now because that wouldn't teach her anything right now other than maybe that throwing the shoes was bad. I think we should instead teach her throwing the should is not how to handle it then show her what is the right way.
My question: what is the right way if throwing anything would be viewed as unacceptable to him.
Any suggestions?

applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
24th Oct '13


Quoting Mama Lizzy :]:
Anyone on here read love and logic? Did you like it/ agree with it?



Some of the things Im not sure I agree with...but havent read the whole book yet...



Anyone have good book suggestions?



Also my son has started smacking me in the face....hard. I tried telling him it hurts me over and over...I ended a nursing session and made him get off the bed for a minute...saying you cant hit mommy...no nursing if you hit mommy.



He still hit me again....so I made him sit with us on the couch...no nursing...he hit me again...His dad yelled at him and made him apologizeto me....he hit me AGAIN....my fiance put him in time out for one minute...telling him no hitting the whole time while he cried....He hasnt hit the past couple of days....but Idk how I feel about what happened....it was late....he was tired..I dont think it was fair to him to put him in time out.



Idk I feel so lost




How old is your Son? At some ages they have a hard time understanding that slapping and the time out are associated.

Do you let your LO watch any thing violent on TV? I think sometimes seeing that stuff makes them learnt to hit. They see it and want to copy what they see. I like the show supernatural and I had to stop watching when the baby was around because it seamed like he was understanding things, and he stated to slap me.(not sure they are related or not)

My Son has slapped me and it is hard to help him learn it is not nice. I say ouch and exaggerate how much it hurt me.. I say that hurts Mommy. It did not seam to work well until he was about 22 months. Now if he hits and I say ouch that hurts Mommy, he feels so sad and will cry and hug me. he will keep pouting until I tell him its ok

Well sorry I guess I am not much of a help but at least you know that you are not the only one with a face slapper! :( It is frustrating. Good luck

applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
24th Oct '13

Quoting Nichole Melius:
I think I just want to join in on this thread for so many reasons. I have a DD who turns 15 months old tomorrow or in 14 hours lol. SO and I came from very tough environments. My ex hits my older three all the time and I will admit on rare occasions I have too. Won't make excuses but will say it has been in times where I did not know what else to do. Maybe this thread can help me. Any how I do not want to continue parenting my 15 month old the same as my older three were. BUT SO nd I have different opinions but I think he is willing to give new things a try. For example DD just recently started throw tantrums where she starts throwing everything in sight. ie: sippy cups, shoes, toys ect. when she does not get her way. He thinks she should get a swat on her bottom, I think we should re direct her and teach her a better way to handle her anger. My suggestion was to take her in her room and give her some stuffed animals or pillows to throw around. He says when he was a kid that would not have been allowed either, he would have gotten the belt. Just to be clear he would NEVER do that to our DD he just feels that teaching her to throw anything would be wrong that we should think of something else like time out. I don't think time out is the right thing right now because that wouldn't teach her anything right now other than maybe that throwing the shoes was bad. I think we should instead teach her throwing the should is not how to handle it then show her what is the right way.
My question: what is the right way if throwing anything would be viewed as unacceptable to him.
Any suggestions?





What about some soft toy balls! They are made for throwing. I agree with you that you need to redirect and NEVER spank. I mean you LO is SO young, a swat on the bum is just not right. I am proud of you for trying to change your ways.

I think that if you feel lost again and don't know what to do besides hit... walk away, even if the baby is having a tantrum. Take some breaths think about how you want to change and how spanking will get you no good results(probably even more tears) maybe even come talk to a parent on here. After you have relaxed go back and try redirecting. Try a change of scenery. Go for a walk in the yard, go to the play room, try a cartoon.

Then try to avoid tantrums all together by building a routine for your baby. I am not sure if you already have a strict routine or not. But I strongly suggest it if you don't. Having a set daily routine can really help kids have less frequent tantrums. They do much better when they know what to expect for the day. When moving from one thing to the next it can help by telling them what is next. Like we are going to watch cartoon for 5 more minuets then it is bath time. This helps them anticipate what is next so they can finish enjoying what they are doing. Also avoid letting your LO get too sleepy or hungry. Doing these things can help some kids a lot more than others. Maybe your already do this, but if you are not I bet you will notice he a HUGE change when you start