I'm Rachel. I'm 27 but still get mistaken as a teenager. I married a good guy in November of 2008. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I can't imagine my life being any different than what it is now. It's been hell for sure at times but we have overcome all obstacles thrown at us thus far. I am pretty confident that we can overcome anything the future holds.
My first born, my little rock star
Trey Alexander came into this world on January 14th 2009. My pregnancy with him was pretty text book until 28 weeks when I went into PTL. I spent time in and out of the hospital 8 times, a couple times they were prepping to put me in the chopper to be airlifted to a NICU hospital because they couldn't get my PTL to stop. I spent 2 1/2 months on super strict bed rest and medicine and by the Grace of God, He stayed in till 37 weeks weighing in at 7 lbs 8 1/2 oz and 21 inches long. I labored with him for 6 hours but because of some complications with a severe allergic reaction to morphine, fetal distress and almost losing him, I was rushed into an emergency csection when his heart rate dropped to 19 BPM. My amniotic fluid was infected. He was completely healthy despite his rough start :) I look at him now as opposed to him as a baby and I can't even begin to understand how fast he has grown up on me.
My second born, my little angel
Genesis Rochelle came into the world on May 3rd 2010, 2010 via repeat csection weighing in at just at 6 lbs 19 inches long. Unlike my first pregnancy, this one was doomed from the beginning to be bad. At my 19 week anatomy scan, she wasn't growing like she should. So I was sent to a perintologist to be watched closely. Intrauterine growth restriction(IUGR) was fully diagnosed after many more ultrasounds were conducted and they also noticed that I was leaking amniotic fluid pretty consistently. At 27 weeks, I developed a blood clot in my leg and had to undergo injections every day. My csection was originally to be scheduled May 10th but because of the rapid amount of fluid loss and her development, they opted to do a csection the next day after my last ultrasound. They didn't give her good chances at all. They originally said if she wasn't still born already, she probably would die right after birth. I think I cried as soon as they pulled her out and she was screaming, kicking and flailing everywhere. It was the sweetest sound I could hope for. Within a half hour, they had to air lift her to a NICU an hour and a half away because she stopped breathing and they were having trouble stabilizing her. The drs said her lungs were as developed as a 26 week fetus. She spent the first month and a half of her life in the NICU, struggling for her life. She was a little fighter though: She dealt with pneumonia, a heart murmur, severe sleep apnea and had constant trouble breathing in general and would frequently stop breathing. We weren't sure we would be leaving with her alive honestly. But FINALLY she came home on a SIDS monitor due to a family history of SIDS and her own trouble with breathing and she continues to fight. She's come such a long way from the itty bitty preemie body she was given and I couldn't be more thankful that God blessed me even through all her problems.
My baby girl
Gracelyn Savannah came into this world on August 12th 2011. My pregnancy with her, although difficult to deal with through hyperemesis and the most awful/painful braxton hicks contractions ever, was pretty normal till the end. The day I was supposed to have my csection, the dr diagnosed me with IUGR again. I instantly thought, oh no....the nightmare continues. A thousand worries and fears filled my mind especially since this was a new dr and he decided to keep her in for an extra 5 days to ensure she was developmentally ready. So on the morning of the 12th as they prepped me for surgery, I was in tears wondering what was to come after experiencing the horrible ordeal with my middle child. During my csection, my body reacted very badly with the spinal(which I'd had side effects in the past) but this time, it was more serious. I felt like I was having convulsions, I was temporarily paralyzed and in excruitiating pain the entire csection. My heart rate and blood pressure went crazy and they almost lost me. Thankfully baby girl was born healthy, despite my fears. She came in weighing at 6 lbs, 1 oz 19 inches long. That was my hardest recovery due to the fact that the effects from the spinal had damaged my nerves and I still continue to suffer from occasional nerve pain and unbearable migraines. I'm very thankful though that Gracelyn was born healthy. It gave me the hope I'd lost the day they mentioned IUGR again.
We lost a baby right before my first was conceived and although I don't know for sure if it was a girl or boy, I had a strong feeling the entire pregnancy it would have been a girl. I would have named her Charity had she lived. RIP....some day we'll meet again. I'm saddened by the baby being taken away but at the same time, had she lived, my son would have never been born. So I think everything happened for a reason even though I may not fully understand.
I also recently found out we lost a multiple pregnancy at some point this time around. I am honestly overwhelmed with grief over it even though I never knew till now. I wish my body would have allowed me to carry them and I honestly blame myself. I feel like it's my fault we lost them even though I know in my heart, it probably couldn't have been helped.