When you give birth, it’s natural for you to become overprotective about your baby. But this protective nature of yours can trigger a serious problem – a problem that your partner is going to face. This particular problem involves him feeling secluded, having added responsibility, and not being able to learn what they should and should not do.
Yes, with the arrival of your baby, this issue just might affect your partner. They may feel the added need to escalate their abilities and provide more for the family. To them, it’s going to become extremely important to stay on top of things like finances, and relax knowing that they have provided adequately.
The worst part is that this is just where they might go wrong and get attacked by you. With time, you may say hurtful things to them like, ‘You don’t give me time, don’t care how I feel’ etc. even though things are quite the contrary. Well, there are certain things that you can do to help them, and get them to help you out as well with your baby. Here’s how:
10 Don’t keep them out of the loop
No matter how protective you become of your baby, there’s no reason why you should keep your significant other out of the loop and stop them from spending time with your little one. This is one of the most vital aspects of becoming a parent. No matter how many responsibilities they have, there’s no reason why they should be stopped from giving time to the latest addition to the family.
However, in order to make sure that things remain ‘sane’ between the two of you, things should be arranged in such a manner that both of you get to enjoy a bit of time off from your responsibilities. This way, you will enough a bit of ‘me’ time and relax for a bit without having to worry about the baby. If truth be told, this can be best achieved on an alternate basis once you settle things down with your newborn.
9 Appreciate their efforts
Your partner is going to be under immense pressure as well when your baby arrives. Raising a child doesn’t come easy and it may take a toll on your finances as well. This particular aspect of having a baby may add to their responsibilities and they may feel pressured to fulfill their duties adequately. If anything, they might resort to putting in extra work hours to provide for the family.
While you stay home to look after the baby, they needs to give their full attention to work and all the different responsibilities associated with it so as to provide for your family. Of course your partner will get to enjoy coffee breaks and lunch breaks, but there’s no denying the fact that as a new parent, they’re putting in every bit of effort that they can to make things work for everyone involved – and you need to appreciate them for doing so.
8 They need space – give it to them
As you’ve carried your baby in you for nine months, you may give the impression that only you know what’s best for him. This may make your partner feel like they’re a mere pinch hitter. Here, it’s necessary for you to realize that your partner is going to have a different relationship with your baby. For this reason,you must give your partner a bit of space. Try to refrain from hovering around them all the time thinking that your little one will need to be ‘rescued’ from a big bad monster.
Letting your partner enjoy a bit of space will give them time to sort out how they can handle the baby best. You may end up coming across new found rituals around your place including them singing special songs to your baby and taking him out for a soothing car ride. No matter how your significant other chooses to spend time with the little one, let these rituals develop. As long as your partner is putting in a bit of effort, let them have this time with your baby so they can come up with a comforting routine.
7 Don’t vent as soon as they come home
Yes, you need to stop yourself from venting at your partner the moment they come back home from work. If truth be told, screaming and shouting at them the moment they set foot inside the house is just going to prove disastrous for your relationship. They’re stressed from a long day at work and you need to give them time to relax a bit – your partner may not be in the mood to start talking about things right away.
Both of you need to talk to each other in a civilized ‘adult’ manner and decide when the best time to talk is during the day. Remember, it’s natural for them to want at least 5 minutes of ‘adjustment time’ after coming home from a day packed with stress and hard work. Before being ‘hands on’, they might need to relax so they can give their full attention to you and the baby. As your significant other shifts gears between work and home, give them a bit of space to breathe.
Yes, it is extremely important for you to communicate things as clearly as possible to your partner. It will be even better if you can speak positively to them while doing so. Things are only going to become worse if you don’t communicate properly with them. Offer motivation to them through your words. If you need something, remember to use your manners instead of using phrases like “give me that onesie” or “those socks."
While you’re at it, you need to bear in mind the fact that new parents typically tend to think they don’t really know how to handle a newborn. To them, it’s only the mother who knows how to handle the baby, so when your partner helps you out, you must appreciate them. When they do something right, it must be appreciated so that they don’t feel ‘unnoticed’.'
5 Ask for help, but keep him motivated as well
There‘s no way at all for your partner to know that you need help if you don’t tell them that you do. Also, if you hesitate in asking for their help, how will you know how much they can contribute towards taking care of your baby?
The best means of talking to them and asking them to help out with things around the house and your baby is to fix up a date with them and discuss everything in detail then. If possible, try to make sure that the date is scheduled on a weekend so that the two of you can enjoy a bit of time together once the baby is asleep. Also, it’s necessary for you to avoid fixing up a date right after an argument or at a time when your partner is particularly stressed out.
4 Praise him in public
Do you remember the rule, “Praise in public and criticize in private”? Well, you need to follow it in this case. The reason for this is simple: your partner is helping you out the best they can and expects you to appreciate them, and you need to do it both privately and publicly. Criticizing them in public is only going to make them lose their self-confidence, and there’s a good chance that they won’t be interested in helping you out anymore.
Praising your partner will go a long way in boosting their self-confidence and will also raise interest in doing things that they’re being appreciated for. So if you really want your partner to help out with the baby, it’s necessary for you to hold back on the criticism in public. If you praise them in front of everyone, they’re going to be motivated knowing that they’re doing things right.
3 Connect with him and have fun
Communication is of utmost importance to a marriage, but when it comes to having a newborn around, you don’t really have the time or the energy to indulge in it. For this reason, it’s necessary for you to shift your focus from trying to communicate to making a connection with your significant other. For this, you will need to take out a bit of time, schedule things and just focus on connecting with each other all over again.
It’s necessary for the two of you to focus on each other each day, even if it is for just 5 minutes as you prepare the morning coffee. Communication can come later; it’s establishing a connection between you two that matters for now.
2 Being intimate is important
Making intimacy and sex a priority in life is extremely important even though it might seem impractical at times. With the baby around, finding the time to have sex and share intimate moments together is not going to be easy. But, you need to make an effort and give them time. As you spend the day cuddling up with and nursing your baby, your partner works hard and struggles all day to provide for their family. Cuddle up with them, have sex and tell them how much you love them to make them feel loved and wanted.
If possible, try to take out a bit of time every other day and indulge in ‘romantic talk’ with them. Thank each other for special gestures, and tell them that you love them no matter what.
1 Let them have a say
Your partner will have a different approach towards handling your baby and may even be a little vigorous in doing so. No matter what they do, rest-assured they won’t harm your bundle of joy, and why would they? They’re the baby’s parent and they know what they’re doing!
There will be plenty of times when you feel like you know what’s best for your child, but you have to resist this urge and stop yourself from squeezing your partner out. Discuss things with them instead of just tuning them out and doing things your way. Trust me; this will go a long way in getting your significant other involved with the baby.