A full-time job can be demanding in terms of time and energy. It gets real tough juggling between work and home, especially when you’re a new mom and working. There will be stress and a sharp learning curve coping with the pressures of work and the demands of a newborn.
Some women have a choice whether they return to work or not. Women who have just become a new mom need to consider the pros and cons before they make the decision to get back to work.
If you’re a working mom who doesn’t have a choice, but to return to the workforce, we’ve got tips to help you bond with your baby and make the most of your time with your child when you’re at home.
7 To Work or Not To Work
If you hate the idea of being a full-time mom and enjoy working, then it will be of great help to you if you find a job that gives you flexible working hours, lets you leave early from work if there’s an emergency or gives you an opportunity to work from home.
Some new moms have no choice. They need to support their spouses in order to run the family, especially with the new addition. Don’t fret if you are that mom. You can still get that crucial bonding time with your baby. You don’t have to take a job that requires you to work long erratic hours.
Sometimes the decision is made for you
Look for part-time work or has flexible work hours, is lenient with you and may let you work from home. Maybe you can start your own home-based firm.
6 Juggling Between Work and Home
You, as a new mom, should consider what is of great importance to you in your life: career, financial security, or your family and your newborn baby. You need to think whether your baby would be in the safe hands of a servant or a caretaker or whether you need to call in family member(s) to look after your baby.
Whatever be your decision, one important thing you need to realize, is that by deciding to get back to work, you will probably miss out on the major milestones, the special moments in your baby’s life.
You can find a happy medium in your hectic schedule
It takes a huge amount of effort to nurture a long-lasting, deep-rooted bond with your little one, if you’re a working mom. Hence, you should discuss your options with your spouse and look for support. It’s worse when you’re only working for the financial security.
You end up coming home tired from work and still have to be at your best to look after your baby, fulfil the baby’s demands, cook for the family, clean and complete all the household chores. This could lead you to be irritable more often with your baby and your spouse and you may start resenting the demands of your baby.
5 Best Time to Return to Work
In America, it is becoming more and more customary for women to raise kids while continuing to flourish in their careers. Though motherhood is the most ‘valuable’ full-time job on this planet, many moms are still passionate about their lucrative professions, but then they don’t get the support they need to be able to return to work.
Between her full-time job and home life, moms find their days jam-packed, exhausting, and frustrating. They work but not with a clear conscience. They are bogged down by the thought, ‘Am I doing the right thing’, ‘Hope my baby is not neglected’, and worry that their baby will forget them once they return from work.
There is no best time because there's never enough time to spend with your family
Ideally speaking, a working mom should return to work only after her baby is a year old. Experts feel that new moms need to wait till they have bonded with their baby and are feeling confident about their new role as moms. Those who have no choice but to return to work, can try and extricate as much maternity leave as they want.
4 Quality Time vs Quantity Time
Working moms get much less time to spend with their newborns than stay-at-home moms. But that doesn’t imply that a stay-at-home mom is a better mother than a working mom. It is the quality time that matters and not the quantity. How you interact and bond with your baby makes the difference.
Quality time means spending time with your baby on a maternal level of loving and caring for your child, rather than doing lots of activities in the little free time you get with your baby. You need to prioritize your household chores and do only those that need to be done on a daily basis.
Try to avoid distractions like watching your favourite program on television, answering phone calls or calling friends, listening to radio, etc when you’re supposed to be with your baby. You can also involve the father to take an active part in the activities spent with your baby or the chores. Working women are happiest when their partner helps them with the household chores and in child rearing.
Don't be afraid of asking for help to get the quality time you need
Even if you’re not able to devote enough time to your baby, the quality time you spend with your baby amidst your busy schedule, your best efforts and honest intentions to bond and give your best will always be remembered by your baby.
The best time to bond with your baby is when they are growing in your womb. Talking and singing to your baby in the womb creates a bond that can be taken further by you with simple adjustments you make in your busy schedule.
3 Disadvantages Faced by Working Parents
With both parents working, children may feel neglected and lonely in the long run, so much so that their intellectual, emotional and social development can be adversely affected. Neglected children start looking for some kind of distraction or stimulation outside the home.
On the other hand, moms who have to return to work soon after childbirth aren’t happy either, having to leave their newborns in the hands of day-care providers, nannies or crèches can be hard. Working moms generally start feeling guilty about leaving their newborn at home, they become worrisome and restless.
It seems unfair because it is
Sometimes her work and home life get affected. To lessen the pain of separation, some moms avoid bonding with their baby because they know they’ll be returning to work within a few weeks of giving birth. This can result in compensating for your absence in unhealthy ways.
Instead of showering your love, care and warmth on your child, you start start giving into their demands or when their older giving them money. This can lead to your child becoming insecure and can have behavioural issues, addictions and depression. The damage can be irreversible.
2 What Can You Do?
Research shows that the quality of care infants receive affects how and what they will later grow into, how they get along with friends, how they cope in school and how they handle new--and possibly stressful--situations.
The process of bonding is always interactive and dynamic. When you and your baby both engage in non-verbal communication with each other, your baby tends to pick up your gestures, your tone, your emotions and reciprocate by either crying, screaming, smiling, giggling, laughing, cooing and/or by trying to mimic your gestures and facial expressions.
Similarly, when you watch and listen to the sounds made by your baby, you learn to understand these cues and respond accordingly by tending to the need for food, a cuddle, or play.
It’s the quality time that you spend with your baby, and the interactions which strengthen your bond and making your baby feel secure.
1 How You Feel About Returning to Work
If you’re one of those new moms who feel guilty about returning to work and not being able to bond with your little one, feel confident that these exchanges with your baby will make them feel understood and safe. Bonding teaches your baby to trust you, to communicate their feelings to you, and eventually to trust others as well.
No questions, there is no substitute for a mothers' love and undivided attention for her baby. Who other than you, a mom, can you trust to look after and care for your children the way you would when you’re working?
You want to be the one who instills positive traits in your child. You want to teach them to share, be self-reliant, friendly, compassionate, stand up for their rights and help them plan their future. You want to protect them from bullies, illness, problems, and deep fierce emotions and behavioural issues.
You can bond with your child and go back to work, it's just hard to do
When you do have time for your little one, take advantage and cherish your time with your little one. Show interest in the things your baby does. Make your baby feel that caring for them is not work, that they are the first and foremost priority in your life.
As long as you recognize and understand how important your sincere efforts to bond are, the relationship will remain strong and grow successfully stronger.