You don’t need us to tell you that there’s a lot of talk and speculation out there that gay couples can’t be good parents. The number one argument against gay parents is that children need a traditional family (male and female) for role models in order to grow up well-loved, balanced and successful (because apparently, single and straight parents get a free card on this argument).
Well at BabyGaga we know for a fact that this isn’t true. For starters, a female or male role model can come from a friend, aunt, uncle, or even a teacher; it does not necessarily have to be a parent. Heterosexual parents don’t always get it right every single time either, you know. Sometimes the right role model isn’t the parent at all, but friends, family or even anonymous people on the internet that surround them.
That being said, here are 11 reasons why having gay parents rocks:
11 Gender Roles Don’t Exist
Trying to bring up your child without any emphasis on gender roles is hard in a heterosexual relationship, even the ones that are progressive and take job-and-chore sharing equally. Stereotypical gender roles can sneak in without you even noticing, and they are most visible in heterosexual parents.
However, with a same-sex relationship, gender roles are broken down due to the fact that there are no opposing genders. Both men do the laundry and do “feminine” stuff like household chores, while both women go to work and do “masculine” stuff like fixing the car.
10 They’re Way More Understanding
Same-sex couples might have gone through some hardships to be together. By dealing with these issues, all of them stemming from society, just to simply have a healthy relationship, gay parents can end up being more strong, and a lot more understanding to other people’s problems.
They won’t be so torn down by small issues stemming from the lives of their children. If their child comes to them with a problem, they’re more likely to be open minded than most heterosexual parents out there. They’re also less likely to harshly punish the child.
Having understanding parents can let a child know that they’re safe and feel like they can come to them with any problem, no matter how embarrassing or terrible it may be. And isn’t that what every child needs?
9 Because Science Says So
Who knew, huh?
Those who want to win an argument will almost always rely on science to back them up, and it’s no different in the reasoning on why gay parents are just as good as heterosexual parents.
A study from the University of Melbourne states, ‘researchers found in [their] interim report ... that when measuring same-sex parent households against heterosexual households on a number of key healthy indicators, such as self-esteem, emotional well-being and the amount of time spent with parents, gay and straight-parent families match up- well.' (You can find this study here.)
There’s even a study stating that children raised by lesbian parents do better academically, are more confident than their peers and have fewer behavioral problems (second study here). So, if we don’t believe any other reasons, maybe we can believe science.
8 They Choose to be Parents
Like those who were adopted by heterosexual parents, gay parents plan carefully to adopt their child. There’s no ‘oops’ in making this kid; their children were specifically picked. With the potential of being more motivated (heterosexual moms, hold tight here) to have children, when the time comes they will be more ready than those who have an accidental pregnancy.
Gay parents can set themselves up financially, get their careers in order, talk it all through, and come to terms with the fact that they’re going to have a child. The potential of an ‘oops’ baby can make some relationships stressful, as their whole world changes instantly; something that isn’t apt to happen in a same-sex relationship.
7 Gay Parents Produce Happier and Healthier Children!
Children of a same-sex household can feel more accepted by their parents than those in traditional families, and will learn to accept others more easily than those of heterosexual parents. Gay parents can be more accepting of their children, not just if their children are coming out, but with anything else that parents may be worried about.
To a gay parent, the coming out of their child isn’t going to be as stressful as that to a heterosexual parent, even if they are very open-minded. Gay parents have had to deal with not everyone accepting them for who they are, so if their kids are a little quirky, they won’t get bent out of shape, and are more willing to accept them for who they really are.
6 They’re Better Prepared
Gay parents can choose to have a child at a certain time in their life. They end up spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to have said child, and will only be able to do so once they’re financially and emotionally ready to do so.
Gay parents can take a few years to get prepared for parenthood, whereas the biological clock for heterosexual parents can be a ticking time-bomb for those that aren’t yet ready, but need to act fast. Gay parents will never be surprised by an unplanned baby or deal with teenage pregnancy.
5 No Difference in Grades
Being raised in a same-sex household will not cause a children’s present and future life to come toppling down. A lot believe that this may be the case, for whatever strange reason.
In fact, children of gay parents do just as well as those with heterosexual parents when it comes to school. If your child is confident, well-loved and accepted for who they are, there’s no reason why their school grades would differ from those of a child with similar values raised by a heterosexual couple.
4 They Raise More Confident Kids
Sure, in some parts of the world gay marriage is legal. But, in many other parts, that is far from the truth. But, by having to deal with tough times, same-sex couples will be able to teach their children to do the same. Brush off the haters and continue on.
Building character and sending out confident and healthy children into the world sounds like a great way of raising kids to me.
3 They Adopt More Children
In October 2011, the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that 60% of LGBT parents adopted children regardless of their race of gender, which is a healthy sign because even today, non-white children face discrimination while being adopted, simply because of their skin color.
Here’s also what the study said – “Over 10% of the children adopted were 6 or older – a population generally perceived as more difficult to place – and 25% were at least 3 years old.” Isn’t that awesome?
If you’re interested in knowing more about this study, click here.
2 Their Children Are More Resilient
We all hate bullying, of course, but bullying seems to be a part of life whether you like it or not, and if you don’t know how to deal with it properly, it can tear you down. Gay parents have had many struggles over the years, as we have started before, and children of gay parents may deal with bullying in their day-to-day life.
Gay parents share with their kids their own firsthand experience of dealing with bullies and how not to break down, but come out stronger. Hearing what some same-sex parents have gone through will help their children develop a thick skin when it comes to any problems on the playground, or otherwise.
1 Even Religion Is Getting On Board
Now, let’s all calm down here. Of course there are still religious fanatics out there that whole-heartedly believe that homosexuality is a sin and they shouldn’t be together, let alone raise children. However, many churches are now gay friendly, and believe that marriage should be between two people who love each other and are committed to each other, no matter the gender of each, and that gay parents can make great parents.
Not to mention religions like Hinduism (the 3rd largest in the world) that has Gods and Goddesses performing acts of homosexuality. In fact, for those of you who didn’t know, Hindu God Ayyappan was born as a result of the fusion of two male Hindu Gods – Shiv and Vishnu.
But let’s get back to our original point - if religion is coming on board, and science is backing us up, do we even need to think of reasons as to why gay parents are great?