12 Crazy Texts Pregnant Women Have Sent That Are So True It Hurts

What a time to believe alive! Yoga pants are now widely accepted attire and text messaging is the easiest form of communication. Imagine being pregnant a few decades back? I wonder how our grandmas and our mothers stayed in touch with their husbands, family, and friends during the awfully wonderful 9 months of pregnancy without these modern conveniences.

Email? Phone calls? Letters? Morse code? We can share anything in real time and get an immediate reaction.

Indeed, the best part of being pregnant is sharing all the pregnancy blues and euphoria right away. It means people who matter most can share every single little detail that’s happening on a woman's pregnancy journey. Along with the woes and joys, pregnancy is a wonderful journey that can be fun.

Just have a ball with the situation and make the most out of it! The journey is always easier when there is someone you can laugh with, even at the most awkward situation. Sometimes, it turns into hilarious exchanges like these text messages, especially when the people these women are texting are as crazy as they are.

12 The False Alarm

Ever see the movie “Constipated”? Probably not, because it hasn’t “come out” yet. Ha! Poop is a crap palindrome. Now, although it’s a simple word that reads the same forwards and backward, don’t be fooled by its simplicity. Pregnant women can testify better than most that it can be hard to let go- if you know what I mean.

Women are not just raging with hormones when they're pregnant. They may also be full of crap. Literally! Raging hormones, progesterone, in particular, slows down the digestive system, making women a walking clogged toilet.

These women’s texts describe exactly their struggle in the lady's room. Poop plays “hide and go seek” in the colon every time they sit on the toilet bowl, especially the closer it gets to delivery. Either it’s the baby coming out or…Want to bet which one’s coming out sooner?

11 A Case Of Swollen Feet

When a woman is pregnant, she can sometimes feel like princess Fiona from the movie Shrek. The fluids in a pregnant woman's body increase to nurture both the woman and baby. The fluids accumulate in the tissues and cause the oh-so-annoying (yet cushy) swelling, particularly of the feet and ankles.

Well, the Shrek-of-a-husband in this image goes for the game-winning goal as he jokingly reciprocates his partner's sense of humor about her swelling. There’s not much that can be done about it until the baby comes! But, hey, even ask Fiona - they all lived happily ever after, anyway! Who cares about a castle when you’re in a swamp with a loving guy who’s ready to love you through literal “thick” and “thin.”

10 The Blind Shave

Later in pregnancy, women probably won’t lay eyes on their V or feet anymore until after the baby comes; as if we don’t have enough to worry about during our pregnancy. Please, don’t blame Stevie though! All the blame or credit for this artistry goes to the lovely lady with the shaving utensil. Stating that she’s, “Pretty sure it looks like Stevie Wonder shaved me with a weed wacker.”

Extreme times call for extreme measures. So maybe next time she'll think to call in her partner to handle it for her. Please, though, don’t ever let your husband trim it for you unless he’s trained. Or you may just end up like the old tale of one lady whose hair down there upstaged her baby in the delivery room.

9 An Order Of Fries And A New Bod

It's not a surprise that pregnant woman will eat and eat and eat like a caterpillar getting ready to morph into a butterfly. Now after all of this process, I am sure she is more than ready to emerge from her pupa, or in this case, ready for a new body. Not in some weird “build-a-body” way, but ready to see what life is like again without the baby inside.

It seems like both Matt and his wife have a wicked (the good kind of wicked) sense of humor. Even if she may be feeling like she's ready to give birth, and go back to the way she was before, at least she can joke about it with her hubby.

What a match made in…Well, I’ll let you decide on the place.

8 The "Dilation Thingy"

This text conversation between a man and his pregnant wife clearly shows off his wits about giving birth! Look at him go! NADA! Although he’s explored the love cave a time or two, he clearly has no idea just how big the cervix can open during labor. Wife’s hand for scale may not even give him a clear picture.

Next time you're is craving for something sweet, buy bagels or donuts. Pick up one piece, show it to him, stretch the hole a bit and say, “This is how big it will expand when the baby comes out.” And tell them that it will get even bigger once the baby’s head starts crowning. I am sure hubby will appreciate his woman even more after that, either that or run.

7 The Dreaded To-Do List

It seems a pregnant woman’s to-do list is never done. So what does a woman do when they need things from the store, but they are down with the “pregnancy drabs” that day? Who are they gonna call?

“Oh, hooonnneeeyyy!” Hopefully, he’s not somewhere hiding by now.

Sending a partner to do the errands can sometimes lead to funny incidents. Especially when he doesn’t know where to find an item or what it is a woman wanted him to buy, as shown in these text conversations.

It’s definitely one of the bitter-sweet perks of being pregnant. A woman can be a queen-bee or ant (whichever you prefer) while the partner runs around doing all of the work. Yay! Go, hubby! The bat signal is on and shining clearly in the sky! Gotham needs you! Er, dear wife and dear child need you! So, suit up and save the day! Buy that cream like a true champ!

6 The Baby Bump



What do toys and a woman's bust have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but somehow dad ends up playing with both of them! Cleavage (and other womanly parts) is certainly the only thing a man can look down on and approve of at the same time. What an oxymoron!

A woman's bust size will definitely get bigger about 6-8 weeks into pregnancy- approximately one to two cups bigger than her usual size. Once women are in their third trimester, their breast growth may seem less pronounced, so the baby bump will definitely overshadow them. The tummy will be the star of the show and all the people will be fussing about when the baby is coming.

5 Super-Size Me

Someone help her! Please!

A pregnant woman often suffers from a bad case of “hangry.” This is when she’s hungry and angry at the same time. Pregnancy hunger can be like dropping food into a black hole and joking about that hunger can, well, be like dropping hubby into that black hole.

A lot of what is on a pregnant woman’s mind is hunger, discomfort, hunger, joy, hunger, concern, and more hunger. Food has to be ready to eat at all times for moms-to-be! That, or their partners have to be ready take a trip to the drive-thru, the grocery store, or (if all else fails) whip up a feast in the kitchen. And that means any time, day or night!

4 The Dry Pants Challenge

When a woman is pregnant, she will get to a point where she will give up mind over matter and concentrate on mind over bladder. Even the simplest errands can be quite troublesome. Especially when this mom is driving and hitting the brakes like some invisible creature keeps running in front of the car. Hope her pregnant daughter in the text message above brought extra pants. With mom at the wheel, those probably won’t last the trip.

The effects of the growing baby pushing up against the bladder and other intestines makes holding in urine for any amount of time challenging as it is, without mom behind the wheel. Pregnant women usually have to pee whether they are sitting still, standing up, or laying down. Hopefully, this mom got her driving “act” together, for the sake of her seats.

3 She's So Vein-y


All of these hormonal and body changes a girl goes through during pregnancy, can make any beauty feel like a beast, and not just in physical appearance, also in temperament. However, every now and then, pregnancy will give you a little “oh look” extra surprise, wrapped in the strangest of places. In this case, say hello to your brand new bulging V vein!

And isn't great that Bonnie's such a good sport ? Congratulating the mom-to-be and stating how “It really does add something special to your appearance.”

She closes with, “Just when Joe thought I couldn’t get any sexier!” Yes, the sexiness is definitely happening! During pregnancy, the strangest of things can bring a couple together. I mean, that vein must be one helluva looker!

2 Call Of The Wild


Let’s face it, when a woman’s pregnant, sometimes she can get really excited! I mean, swinging from trees excited! Or chandeliers maybe? Sometimes, the excitement is coupled with multiple needs competing with each other all at once. You may be, tired, hungry, and horny all at the same time! This heightened sensitivity during pregnancy can work for good and sometimes for bad, as you may be more sensitive to smells and such.

However, when you are in an undeniable mood for love, what better way to get the mood started than sending a pic of an orangutan? She sent the warning! This pregnant woman’s partner better be ready for “wild thang” when he gets home. Nothing like the “call of the wild” during pregnancy.

1 Turtle Mom


The above text shows what can happen when an inspirational, supposedly encouraging quote goes wrong.

A first-time mom-to-be? Watch out! There will come a point in a woman's pregnancy where she will literally have to roll out of bed in the middle of the night just to pee. Imagine a woman scissor kicking sideways, trying to swing her legs around or pushing herself over until she finally tips over the side of her bed and lands feet first on the floor.

Sounds really acrobatic, right? Maybe. But you will feel more like a turtle on its back that can’t flip itself back over, or you’ll feel like a beached whale. The worst thing is, once you get your feet on the floor, you will be so winded. Now, off to the races to the bathroom. And the best part is, you get to do it all over again in 30 minutes.

Sources: Community.Babycenter.com, Parentsociety.com

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