If truth be told, being infertile tends to take a toll on every single aspect of a woman’s life. From the relationship that you share with your partner, to how you feel about yourself. Being infertile is going to affect all of it. To make things worse, there may even be a certain level of uncertainty and emotional upheaval in the day-to-day activities of the both of you as a couple.
If you're someone who is dealing with infertility, know that we completely understand the pain and stress that you are going through. To help you cope up with the stress of infertility, we’ve prepared a list of tips that are surely going to make the journey easier.
12 It’s a Couple Problem – Treat it Like One
There's no need for you to suffer alone irrespective of who is identified to be causing the problem. Infertility is a problem that both of you are facing, so it's best for you to address it as a couple. Don’t think of it as just your problem – it's a couple problem.
When you get the diagnosis, it's necessary for the two of you to avoid blaming each other. It doesn’t matter whose ‘fault’ it is – this isn’t something either of you has any control over. Instead of playing the blame game, reassure each other that you’re in this together. Keep a united front when dealing with this problem – getting through it will be so much easier!
11 Acknowledge Your Feelings
The thing with infertility tests and procedures is that going through them month after month has the potential to emotionally, financially and physically drain you. In order to deal with your stress and depression, you need to acknowledge that infertility is a crisis. If truth be told, the key to coping with infertility lies in acknowledging the issue.
By recognizing your problem, you will be in a much better position to face this challenge. However, there's no reason why you should chastise yourself for facing this stress and depression. By accepting your emotions, you will find it easier to move beyond them.
10 Don’t Feel Helpless
There's no reason why you should feel helpless over the situation. Instead, a better initiative would be to inform yourself and read as much as you can about infertility. Seeking treatment for infertility can put you through a number of rather complex procedures, and understanding what all is happening medically will make it possible for you to make better choices in times to come.
In order to cope with your depression, treat yourself every now and then – get a massage or eat out at your favorite restaurant for instance. Anything that distracts you for a while can work wonders in terms of helping you drive away those bouts of depression. If anything, you shouldn't put your life on hold. Keep up with your hobbies and do things that satisfy you – trust me, this will go a long way in terms of helping you live happily.
9 Never Blame Yourself
Yes, there will definitely be a little voice in your head telling you things like, “I'm being punished for that abortion I had when I was 21,” or “I shouldn't have waited,” “I should have looked after myself,” but there's no reason for you to listen to it. You shouldn’t get angry at yourself for being infertile, because it isn’t something that you can control.
Taking the entire blame on yourself is only going to drive you further into depression, thereby making it harder for you to cope with your problem. Instead of belittling yourself over things, look forward to how the two of you are manage to pull through this situation.
8 Don’t Let Infertility Rule Your Life
Once you’ve been diagnosed with infertility, it's necessary for you to continually remind yourself that there’s a lot more in life that requires your attention. These events in life include getting a promotion, looking after sick relatives, moving to a different place, and even world events.
All of these have the potential to impact your life and have an effect on the things that you are feeling. What you need to remember here is that infertility is just one part of your life – there's no reason why you should let it take over your entire existence.
7 Talk it Out With Your Partner
Your desire to have a family can face a serious backlash when you learn about being infertile. There's no way for you to know how far you will go in this quest and with time, you'll notice a lot of changes taking place in the way you feel about things.
For this reason, it's highly recommended for you to sit down as a couple every once in a while and reevaluate where the two of you are in the process. Talk about the entire procedure, discuss the treatment options you are willing to go through etc. Trust me, talking about things with each other will go a long way in terms of helping you restore your emotional energy.
6 Refrain from Indulging in Activities that Make You Sad
It's highly recommended for you to give up on any and all activities that make you sad or are painful. For instance, if your friends are all parents now, work out diversions and stay away for a while. Instead, do something that you’ve always wanted to do – learn the guitar, head out for a hike or enroll for a class that you’ve been interested in taking up.
Yes, you may hope to get pregnant at some point in your life, but deep inside, your unconscious mind may grieve for the child that you don’t have – and may not have. You need to bear in mind the fact that grief that remains unresolved can trigger a lot of anxiety.
In order to make yourself feel better, it's extremely important for you to go through a period of mourning. Whether you choose to talk about things with a family member or friend, or just write down your feelings, make sure that you acknowledge the whole situation and work through your grief to be able to let go of it.
If you truly want to be able to cope with your depression, you need to look after yourself. Sleep well, eat a healthy diet, and indulge in activities that you truly enjoy – just have fun for a change.
4 Don’t Repress Your Feelings
You simply shouldn’t repress any feelings of anger, guilt or sorrow that might come up. If you feel the need to cry when you hear of a friend’s pregnancy, go ahead and do it. Don’t resist the urge to cry.
In case you start feeling angry about the ‘unfairness’ if the issue, go ahead and hit a punching bag or pound a pillow – let it out. Don’t let your anger build-up inside you. To cope with things, you should also take out about 30 to 40 minutes from your day and dedicate it to focusing on your feelings about infertility. Letting your feelings come up is going to go a long way in terms of helping you cope with them.
3 Look After Yourself
In order to cope with your depression, it's extremely important for you to take care of yourself and your body. For this purpose, you need to eat a healthy diet, get proper sleep and most importantly, you need to stay happy. While you're at it, try to indulge in activities that take your mind off the issue. Focus on having fun for a change!
2 Counseling can Help
Seeking medical help in order to build your family can trigger a lot of emotional, social and relationship stress. Managing this stress and depression is extremely important, because leaving it unmanaged or untreated can eat away at your life. Doing so is fairly easy now thanks to the counseling services available to infertile couples. Through it, you will find it much easier to make satisfying and knowledgeable decisions about your treatment and life in general.
1 Don’t Suffer Alone
If you want, you could even consider joining social support networks. Trust me, the support you will receive online can work wonders in helping you reduce those feelings of depression and stress. It's also recommended you inquire about the support groups and counseling services offered by the infertility clinic you're seeking treatment from.