There are a lot of truths about kids: they’re funny, silly, cute and they swell their parents hearts with joy and love. However, not all of the truths about kids are sweet, like how gross they are. They don’t think twice about burping and farting (yes, even in public,) and they’ve never heard a potty word that didn’t make them giggle until they cry.
It doesn’t take long for parents to realize just how gross kids can be, but it also doesn’t take long to realize how gross parents can be. Well, maybe we’re not gross on our own, but we sure do some pretty nasty things for the sake of our children. All parents, even those who are faint of heart, have had a hand covered in poop or have intentionally held a baby’s bottom up to their nose.
Parents, if you are feeling ashamed because of the gross things you’ve done for your kids, take comfort in knowing that you aren’t alone! We’ve all done some pretty nasty things for our children. To prove it, here's a look at 12 of the most disgusting things we have done for our kids, and here’s what they had to say (we’re sure you’ve done most, if not all of them, too!)
12Hands Turn Into Tissues
Babies and toddlers don’t know how to blow their noses, and when they do learn how to, they either don’t realize that they have snot running down their snot running out of them, or they just don’t care (hey, who has the time to wipe their nose when they’re seriously playing?).
So who wipes up those renegade boogies? Parents! But when mom or dad doesn’t have a tissue handy and there’s no way they can leave that snot on their child’s face, what do they do? – They use their hands!
I’ve used my hands as a tissue more times than I care to admit. That’s why I always make sure to have sanitizer handy; well, one of the millions of reasons, anyway.
11Catches Bodily Fluids Like It's A Sport
Just like they don’t know how to blow their noses, babies, toddlers and even school-aged children don’t know that they should find the nearest toilet when they have to throw up. When they’re stomachs are queasy and they have to expel vomit, they kind of just let it fly wherever, which means that it can end up splashing down on the floor, the sofa, the bed, the car… Gross!
While it’s horrible when a child has an upset belly, there’s something even more horrible, and that’s having to clean up a puke explosion. In order to avoid a giant mess, parents cup their hands together and use them as a bowl to catch their little one’s vomit. (Yuck! Just thinking about it makes me want to puke, but I’ve done it before!)
10Used A Favorite Shirt As A Mop
It’s no secret that kids do some pretty repulsive things. While parents try their best to be prepared for the grossness, sometimes they are caught off-guard and have to think fast in order to remedy the situation. For example, when a child has a runny nose and there aren’t any tissues available, or when they run out of baby wipes while they’re in the middle of changing a dirty diaper…
What’s the natural solution when parents find themselves in these situations? Why, use their clothing, of course! I have totally used my sleeve to wipe up spit-up and I’ve even taken off an over-shirt to clean up a poop when I ran out of baby wipes.
9Goes Fishing In The Bathtub
If there is anything that being a parent has taught me, it’s that sometimes, s$#t happens, and not only figuratively, but literally.
Raising children involves a lot of poop, and it’s not always in a diaper or a toilet; sometimes, it’s in the place there kids are supposed to be getting clean! There’s your little one, sitting in the tub and splashing away in the sudsy water, then suddenly, you hear a grunt and see something brown floating in between the bubbles.
Yeah, it’s totally gross, but it totally happens. When a kid has to go, you know, he has to go, and when he isn’t potty trained, he doesn’t care where he is when he does it – including the bathtub.
8Tasted Something Nasty
Kids love to share with their parents, and while it may seem super sweet, sometimes their generosity can be super gross. Like when a child picks his nose and shoves it in his dads mouth or when she’s playing “chef” and combines a bunch of random ingredients together and asks mom to be a taste tester… Parents often end up tasting something that is completely and totally disgusting as a result of their kids.
I’m not even kidding, our 3-year-old picked his nose and shoved the boogie in my husband’s mouth. It was totally gross and I felt bad for him, but I was glad it was he who our son decided to share his grossness with instead of me!
7And Smelled Something Even Nastier
Not only have parents looked at and tasted disgusting things for our children, but we have also smelled some of the most horrific things, too. From dirty diapers and farts that smell worse than a toxic waste dump to rotten milk that has been sitting in a sippy cup that was found underneath a couch or a car seat, us parents have had to endure some of the most horrible smells know to man. I’m talking odors that make our faces turn green and our stomachs turn. In fact, sometimes, those smells are so bad that we can actually taste them! If you’ve never tasted a gross smell as a result of your child, you haven’t experienced all the joys that parenting has to offer!
6Shares The Bed With A Leaking Baby
Whether a parent willingly allows her child to sleep in the bed with her, or he reluctantly allows a little one to climb in the bed in the middle of the night because he’s just so exhausted and letting a child tuck in with him means a few more hours of sleep, parents often end up sharing close sleeping quarters with their children.
While a child is sleeping, sometimes they leak bodily fluids. Spit up, snot and even pee can end up getting on the surface the child is sleeping on, which means that mom or dad can end up sleeping next to that bodily fluid. Sometimes, parents unknowingly sleep next to these fluids, and sometimes they know it’s there but keep sleeping because they’re too tired to deal with it.
5Uses Fingers As A Suppository
Pooping can be hard for people of all ages, but for adults, solving poop problems is something they do on their own. When kids have problems in the poop department, however, who do they rely on to solve the issue? You guessed it! – Mom or dad!
There’s nothing worse than knowing that your little one has to go #2, but can’t get it out. Whether it’s because of something they ate, a result of medication or something else, kids experience constipation. Unfortunately, they can’t take laxatives or stool softeners to get things moving, and when that poop won’t come out, things can get pretty uncomfortable.
What’s the solution? – A finger suppository. Gross, I know; but if offers relief, it’s well worth it (at least that’s what I told myself when I did it.)
4Clean Ears Without The Q-Tip
Ear wax is gross, but it’s even grosser to look at it when it’s sitting there a child’s ear.
That yellowish goo just sits there and stares back at mom or dad and it seems to be all that they can see. Speaking for myself, when I see a potato in my child’s ear, it drives me absolutely insane and I have to get it out! Sure, washing it out with a cloth is the most logical solution to clean out ear wax, but when you’re in the middle of a park, a mommy and me class or at the store and a cloth isn’t available, you have to rely on the next best thing: your finger. Hey, you can’t very well let your child run around with ear goo!
3Closely Examines The Baby's Diaper
There are many things about parenting that are gross, but unavoidable, and poop definitely tops the list.
While most people would rather not make eye contact with poop, for parents, sometimes examining it is a must. Like, for example, when a child swallows a Lego or some other small toy and you take him to the doctor and the doc says to keep an eye on his poop to make sure that it passes…
Yep. That’s happened to me. Or, when a child is sick and mom or dad has to monitor her poop to make sure that things are OK. There you are, waiting for your child to do his business and you he finally does, you are examining it with a fine-tooth comb.
2And The Nether Regions For Rashes And Infections
Us parents have to keep a close watch on our kids, and sometimes, that means keeping a close eye on their nether regions. A number of things can happen to pee-pees and bums, including rashes and infections, which means that mom and dad have to carefully assess their child’s private parts.
My child had a horrible diaper rash as a result of eating something with a high acidity level (as per our pediatrician.) In addition to making sure it was properly cleaned, powdered and lubed up with diaper rash cream, I also had to closely examine his nether regions. I had to get all up in there and examine his little bits until the rash cleared.
1Constantly Washes Poop Off The Walls, Floor And Ceilings
It’s one thing for parents to clean up their children’s poop when they do it in a diaper or when they haven’t quite gotten the hang of wiping themselves after using the toilet; however, it’s quite another when #2 gets into places that it has no business being… A leg, an arm, under a fingernail, a wall, a crib…
Whether it’s because of a blowout diaper or because a wipe or toilet tissue has slipped and exposed a finger mid-wipe, or worse, because a child did his business while taking a nap and woke up, took the diaper off and smeared what was inside of it all over the crib and walls (my youngest totally did the latter,) parents have wiped #2 off of something other than a bottom.
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