There’s something magical about being pregnant. All of that life coursing through our veins and making us feel like we’re superhuman and capable of anything is glorious. So, it goes without saying that there will be certain people we run into along the journey that just don’t like how happy we are. They need to burst that bubble. They can’t be happy if we aren’t miserable. They must put a stop to this.

Enter, the annoying effing people we meet while we’re pregnant. Some of them will stop at nothing to make sure their words are heard and internalized. They need us to know that their perception of pregnancy and birth is the only one that counts and everything else we’ve heard is nonsense. They need to feel superior, and we are exuding so much confidence and stamina that they must attempt to knock us down a few pegs so they can feel holier than thou.

From doctors to relatives to that woman who calls herself a best friend, they’ll all have an opinion. Some people will keep their opinions to themselves, because they aren’t hell bent on being right all the time and making sure everyone knows it. But others just can’t seem to keep quiet, and the burden is on us to take their words with a grain of salt.

12 The Negative Nancy

Oh, Nancy. Girl, back it up. That’s what we have to say to this type. She won’t shut up otherwise. We have to silence her. Shut. It. Down. She wants to make sure we have a very clear understanding of just how educated and informed she was going into her birth experience. She was never going to be that mom that ended up with an unnecessary C-section or induction, but those things happened to her anyway.

Sometimes an episiotomy is necessary, and vacuum extraction is a beautiful and life-saving feature when it’s needed. No one gets the birth that they want down to every last detail, right? Wrong. Yes, Nancy is wrong.

We can have the birth that we so deeply desire. It can be a beautiful and natural and empowering experience. Sure, we might have to sacrifice a few of the things we bulleted on our birth plans in favor of safety, but much of the time everything goes blissfully as planned, and those moms don’t have any need to shove it down anyone’s throats. Why? Because they aren’t busy trying to convince themselves they did everything right or jealous of anyone else’s birth experience.

11 The Non-Natural Doctor

Alas, you’re finally pregnant. The experience you’ve dreamt of all your life is upon you, and you know exactly how you want things to go. Up until this point, you’ve only ever seen your OBGYN as a GYN. They’ve been right there holding your hand over the years through your struggle with PCOS and while they didn’t agree with your choice to practice FAM instead of using hormonal birth control, they didn’t shame you or anything.

So, what the hell happened then? You show up for your first appointment as an official OB patient and felt practically laughed out of the exam room when you expressed your desire for a natural birth free of epidurals and opioid IV cocktails. If the doctor alone isn’t bad enough, the nurses often side with their boss, too.

Don’t dismay, and don’t let this experience rain on your happy little holistic mama parade. Natural birth happens every day all over the world. It just so happens that your doctor doesn’t see a whole lot of it. Likewise, doctors are trained to jump in and intervene during labor. They’re trained that they deliver babies, and you’re approaching them taking the reins and claiming you’ll birth that baby all on your own without medicine’s interventions.

While it might be tempting to stick it out nine months just to prove them wrong, it’s a far better idea to find a new provider whose views mesh with yours. You’re looking for support in a provider, not shame.

10 The Nasty Nurse

We all dread this possibility at one time or another, right? We worry that during labor we will encounter one of those nurses that can’t help but argue with every comment we make during the process. I mean, who doesn’t want a bunch of nay-saying and negativity during their birth experience? It’s far from the mood you intended to set, and these nurses don’t care.

Maybe they fought with their man that morning. Maybe they were late to work and got written up. Maybe they stayed up too late bingeing on Netflix and now you’re paying for their lack of shuteye. Whatever the reason, nurses often forget that they need to keep their personal opinions in check while at work. This is a great time for Dad or a doula to step in and ask for a new nurse to tend to Mom while she labors. Will they take offense? Maybe, if you’re lucky!

9 The Well-Meaning Mother-In-Law

Ah, mothers-in-law. They really do have good intentions most of the time. It’s hard for these moms. They want to feel needed even though their children are grown. When they have kids of their own, they can only hope that their kids will call on them from time to time for advice.

So, when a topic is brought to the table and it’s clear that you’re making a choice they disagree with, they can’t help but to think their opinion will somehow change yours. Circumcision is a common topic that many moms-to-be argue with their MIL’s over. Notably, if Dad is circumcised, then it was said MIL’s choice to do so and she does not want to admit she was wrong. But many are just uneducated on the matter — failing to realize that some 117 babies die from an unnecessary circumcision every year in America.

Some in-laws take the debate to a whole new level, such as happened recently with one Nottingham, United Kingdom mother and her partner’s parents. The grandparents being Muslim felt circumcision was a religious practice and disagreed with their son and his wife’s choice to leave their son intact. So, they had him circumcised while in their care. The parents have fought back with legal action. Yeah… see why we’re weary of MIL’s?

8 The Insulting Relative

We’ve heard it all. “You’re huge!” Why yes, I am. I’m almost the size of a houseboat. Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious. “You’re still pregnant?!” How about, “nope, had the baby last week. Those breastfeeding cravings sure are getting the best of me, though!” Or my favorite, “There has to be twins in there!” Hmmmm… “Idk, wanna crawl up there and check since you’re so deeply invested in the inner workings of my body?”

I’d like to say these people mean well, but I’m not so sure that’s true. Instead, I think it’s just become the norm of shit you say to pregnant woman. Our culture has slowly but surely perpetuated statements like these so that we subtly became less apt to balk at them. In other words, we sit there and smile and don’t speak up when someone is insulting us. How then can we ever expect it to change? Ladies, speak up!

7 The Interventionist

When I was pregnant with my youngest son, I remember talking shop about birth one day with a family member. She is someone whose opinion I respected. So, I never expected some of the things she said to me while I was pregnant. Being quite aware of my plans to have a vaginal, unmedicated birth with a midwife, it made me curious why she felt the need to ask things like, “what will you do if your baby is breech?”

Mommas, just kill them with kindness. I, knowing she had a C-section because one of her babies was breech, replied that I would first attempt to have my midwife turn the baby. If that didn’t work, I’d plan to deliver a breech baby — vaginally. Suddenly I was the crazy one in this conversation, and you could tell by the look on her face and she continued with, “Don’t you know how many risks there are with that?” Actually, yes, I knew all of the risks, and that they amounted to fewer risks than those that come with a C-section. Checkmate.

6 The Drama Queen

Listen, you’ve never been through this before. Take it from moms who have been through birth. It’s too painful. You’re going to want the drugs as soon as you can get them. Ask for the epidural as soon as you get there. There’s no need to prove yourself to anyone. You don’t get a medal for going at this without medication.

That’s true. There’s no medal, but you do get a cascade of hormones that is unlike anything else you’ve ever experienced in this world. You will get bragging rights, if you want them. You will feel empowered. And most of all, you’ll be able to look back and remember all of your birth experience without having felt like you were immobile or drunken. You won’t have the risks that epidurals and IV meds bring with them. You won’t have a higher risk of other interventions, and you won’t have to listen to anyone telling you next time that you can’t do it. Go after the birth you want, Mommy, and tell them all to STFU.

5 The Bubble Burster

Awe, you’re pregnant! It’s amazing. Don’t you feel ecstatic and ready to shout it from the rooftops? Not so fast, those in the know — who are usually those who’ve suffered losses before — know it’s usually best to wait until the first trimester is over before announcing the news to coworkers, bosses, family friends and so forth.

But what if you don’t get the chance because your uncle just posted it on Facebook that he’s so excited to meet your little one next Spring. Holy shit, right? Alright, you’ll probably never forgive him, but you will have to move on and continue to accept him as part of your family. He’ll just be a reminder that you didn’t get the chance to break the news to all the people you love and see their reaction yourself.

The same goes for friends who announce your baby’s gender before you can, and we cannot forget those who announce the birth before you. Seriously, what is with those people? Is there some sort of contest out there and whoever posts their knowledge of the birth first somehow means they were in the know first and therefore must be your favorite relative or something? Get over yourselves and put your phones down. No one is announcing jack until Mom and Dad say so, folks!

4 The One Who Needs To Hear They're Right

OMG, enough with these people! Remember that time your friend — who had probably just finished complaining that you’re no fun while you’re knocked up — suggested that you have just a glass or two of wine? She drank while she was pregnant and her kids were fine. That’s debatable. Look at today’s kids! ADHD, autism, learning disorders and developmental issues out the wazoo! We’ve redefined fine.

These people exist across every department of child-rearing. Some people don’t have smoke detectors in their homes and they’re fine. Yeah, because there hasn’t been a fire. Some moms are not bucking the Glucola drink used for testing for gestational diabetes because it contains brominated vegetable oil — a known carcinogen. But your sister drank it through all of her pregnancies and she and her baby were just fine!

Ugh, can we all just agree that different moms can choose different paths and it doesn’t make one more right or wrong than the other? No, we can’t. Not as long as some of those moms are doubting themselves. They need to make you feel like their choice was right so they can reaffirm to themselves that they weren’t wrong. And FFS, everyone is not so fine nowadays. Do what you feel is best and ignore the haters.

3 The Name Stealer

I can speak from personal experience on this one. While I’m certainly not harboring any resentment over it, I can’t say I wasn’t pissed initially. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I’d already had two miscarriages prior. We had decided before the first loss on our child’s name if it was a girl and told our families what it would be. We maintained that we’d still use that name should we have a girl down the road.

Well, my then-brother-in-law and his wife got pregnant a few weeks earlier than we did with my daughter, and when their daughter was born three weeks before mine, they gave her the same middle name we’d been planning to use all along — which was a family name for me.

Hey, whatever. At the time, everyone thought it was tacky of them, and I was too wrapped up in my little princess to care. Today, I consider it flattering and don’t give it much thought at all. So, my advice should this happen to you is to brush it off. Fourteen years later I can tell you that you absolutely will not care. Familial relationships are more important than petty arguments over things like this. Move on.

2 The Bump Lover

Does anyone else think it’s kind of ridiculous that we’ve come to accept women’s pregnant baby bellies as some sort of orb that people can just walk up to and touch at will? I mean, perfect strangers in the middle of Wal-Mart have been known to just rub a pregnant lady’s belly that they’ve never laid eyes on before. What’s with that? Where’s the bodily autonomy and personal space?

The upside here is that there’s a pretty good way to deal with these folks. Whether they’re strangers of family and friends is irrelevant. We all have boundaries and should not be assuming that all pregnant women are okay with being touched without being asked. So, if someone embraces your bump like a crystal ball without permission, go ahead and rub their tummy, too. Try it. See what happens. It never fails.

1 The Privacy Invader

Alright, to be clear, there are some people who are allowed to ask these questions. If you and your bestie always dish on things like menstrual flow output and hemorrhoids, then they probably have every right to dig right into your personal business, but your great aunt that you see once every few years has no place asking how many centimeters your cervix has dilated. Likewise, your neighbor doesn’t need to know how much weight you’ve put on.

These are questions that some partners won’t dare even ask, but other people rely on you not to know what to say and to spit out the answer because of that. Be prepared. Expect that you will encounter some assholes in your journey to motherhood, and be ready to dish it right back. How much weight have I gained since I got pregnant? I’d say not much more than you have since your wife left. That’ll do it.

Sources: Circ Info, The Indepedent