They say that history always repeats itself, and if we look at our past we can accurately predict our future. How true is that saying? It seems to be very close to being true, we just must look at the political make-up of the world. However, we don’t need to look that far to see how the decisions and lessons we learned growing up are affecting our life.
We all learn lessons early on as children. Parents help mold and shape the person we will one day become. Lessons are both taught to us and learned through a system of trial and error. We make mistakes and we grow and learn as we go. We don’t even think about the impact they have on us unless we sit and reflect on how our life has been.
When we think about it, we have to wonder what lessons were beneficial to us, and which ones would be better off thrown in the trash can. Not only can these help us on our journey through life, but they can help us raise the children we have or may have in the future. Just as it was up to an individual’s parent to help shape and mold their children, it is now the children’s job to shape and mold their young. They are, after all, the future leaders and changers of our world.
So, what can a mom take from her childhood to help her through this crazy ride called motherhood? What lessons can she teach her children that she was either taught or maybe learned the hard way. Also, what lessons can she throw away? What lessons can she makes sure ends with her?
17 It Always Gets Better
There are always struggles in life, and they come and go as quick as an ocean tide. However, when someone is young and going through the throes of puberty and high school nothing seems like it will get better, and it definitely does not seem like it will anytime soon. But it does, it may take time and it may take some work, but it will get better. Or at the very least, the challenges a person faces will be different. When adults look back at their younger days, they have a hard time imagining why they thought they had problems then?
This lesson of how things do get better is one that is best taken by a mother. Motherhood is not easy, and it doesn’t take long before a mom may have a fleeting wish that she was back in high school again.
There are moments when mom has not slept for days and hasn’t had a good meal in a really long time. This is when she needs to really think back and remember that everything shall pass and that everything does get better.
On those days when the days are dark and seem like they will never end, just look back to your childhood school days and realize that everything gets better.
16 Lying Makes Things Worse
One of the biggest things you could have done as a child was lie. Lying was a big deal and was never taken lightly. There was usually strict discipline for this type of behaviour, and it got worse the more a child lied. A lot of children lie because they have done something that they feel is wrong and that they will surely get in trouble for, so they lie and say it never happened, or it wasn’t them. This always only made it worse than if you had just been honest from the beginning. We are brought up knowing that lying is wrong, yet we continue to do it.
We make little white lies more often than even we probably realize.
No one lies more than a mother. Think about it, mom’s say they are OK all the time when they are not. Moms have a hard time asking for help when they need it, and this means that they lie to their friends and family when they as if everything is OK. If they said things weren’t OK, or that they were struggling, they are left feeling like they are not a good mom.
Moms even lie to their doctors at times, and sometimes without even realizing it. If they feel like they are not doing what they should for their baby, or if they are not feeding them as often as the textbooks suggest, they may lie to their doctor out of fear of being judged as a bad mom who can not care for their child.
15 If You Lose, You Lose!
We live in a world where children are sheltered from losing. Everyone is given a trophy and sporting events and a lot of teams don’t even keep score. This is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it is nice and heartwarming that no child has to suffer the sadness that comes with losing, but what does it really teach them? A lot of people fear that it doesn’t do well to teach them that if they really want to win or accomplish something that they have to put in some good, hard work. The people that think this are the people that were brought up in a time when if you lost, you lost. You had to learn from it and try harder next time.
By the time we become adults, we pretty much know that we are not going to win every battle, and that the world does not owe us anything. We are going to have battles as a mother and we are not meant to win them all.
This may not be a lesson on how to be a mother, but it is a good lesson to pass on to our children. We should teach them that a little bit of hard work goes a long way and we won’t always win every battle that comes our way. If it is something that we really want, then we need to work harder and it is not always a bad thing to give up. Some things are more important than a big trophy.
14 Crying Will Happen
Emotions are normal, everyone has them and everyone expresses them differently. There are no rules about emotions when it comes to girls vs. boys either. Girls can be tough, and boys can be emotional, and that is OK. Crying is something that comes along with having children. From the moment they are born, the only way they have of expressing themselves is through tears, and we certainly don’t think down on an infant for crying. When they get a little older, we constantly tell our children to be tough, but we do that understanding that crying is OK, and sometimes we just need to get it out and we feel a lot better.
This is true for motherhood as well, there will be tears and probably a lot of them and for different reasons.
Moms cry because they are so overwhelmed by their new role that they don’t know what else to do. They also cry because they are so tired, they don’t know how they can keep going every single day. They also just cry for no reason, and that is OK as well.
Crying is normal, and it is part of human behaviour, so as a mom it is OK to cry. We don’t always have to be tough and strong for our babies, we can break down and a lot of the times it makes us all feel a little better to have just let it all out.
13 Don't Be Afraid To Ask All The Questions
A lot of toddlers and young children go through a period when all they do is ask questions. I am sure that every single person reading this article went through this phase as a child as well. The constant “why’s” are enough to drive any parent insane, but it is such a helpful skill. Children are curious, they know very little of how the world works and what makes it run. Now, this could be seen as annoying for a parent, but most parents will indulge these questions, because they want their children to learn and be inquisitive. Little do they know, they are giving their children a great skill for when they become parents.
It is imperative to ask questions when you are a mom. Even if you are an experienced mom who has had multiple births and children, we should never stop asking questions.
Moms who do not ask questions are setting themselves up for failure. They may feel ashamed or that they will be thought of as less of a mom if they need to ask their doctor or mother everything.
They don’t want to appear completely useless. The truth is, a lot of new moms are clueless and that is OK. Asking questions is how we learn, so tap into your inner child and ask away!
12 Mistakes Happen…And It’s OK!
Whenever we are learning and growing we are bound to make mistakes. We make mistakes every day, some are so minor that we don’t even bat an eye and we just move on with our day. When we are children, we make a lot of mistakes and that is because we are learning to navigate and understand our world. Normally, the lesson is taught that mistakes will happen and as long as we learn from them and grow than it will all be OK. We are taught that making mistakes is OK and may even be beneficial.
This is very important to take with you into motherhood. When you are a new mom, there are bound to be mistakes. These mistakes are not generally big or dangerous, even though they may seem like it to you when they are happening.
Mistakes still happen, and it is how we learn and grow as a mom. It is what helps prepare us for welcoming more children into the world.
With each child we birth, we learn from any mistakes we made with the first child, and we even make a few more. We are learning every day and eventually we will all become super-moms. OK, not really but it is a nice thought!
11 Bring Back The Optimism
One of the greatest joys of being a child or watching children is that they are so full of joy. Not the fake joy that adults put on their face, but real and unbridled joy. They have an amazing ability to find the fun in everything and turn everything into an exciting adventure. This seems to fade as we grow older, but what we all really need to do is reach back into our past and pull this lesson forward into our future. Once we become adults, we no longer see the glass as half full, it is always half empty. We are constantly thinking about the responsibilities we have and all the other adult-things we must worry about.
When we become moms, we have a whole new set of responsibilities, and they all involve nourishing and keeping another little person alive.
We are fully responsible for making sure this little one is taken care of and has all that they need. This can make it even harder to be a joyful and fun-loving person.
As hard as it may seem, it is really important to try and think back and pull that childhood joy forward from your past. Try and see the joy in every day; take your baby to the park or for a long walk. Go on your own adventures with your new little one and enjoy the world around you.
10 Treat Everyone As Equal
This is a lesson that is well learned young and is best carried throughout your life. When we are growing up we are always told to treat everyone as if they matter, because they do. That it doesn’t matter what they look like, how they talk, or how they dress. That all humans deserve the decency of being treated respectfully. Sometimes, as we grow, this lesson gets forgotten. We start earning a career and we may have moments where we think that we are better than other people. Hopefully these are fleeting thoughts and we snap back into reality.
When we become moms, it is more important than ever to remember to treat everyone as equal. Especially other moms.
We live in a world where it is almost impossible to be a mom, everyone is so sure that they are doing something wrong and if you wait just a moment there is always another mom out there who is willing to tell you that you’re right. Don’t be that mom. Consider all moms equal.
No matter how perfect another mom’s life looks on the outside, she is still struggling with all the same struggles that you are.
9 Don't Give Up: School Really Was Worth It!
Remember when you were young and there was nothing you hated more than going to school? You dragged yourself out of bed and just prayed for summer vacation to come? You had a hard time seeing the point in school and wondered why it really mattered. You saw no point in learning about ancient history or how to do long division. However, you do it and when it is all over and you are standing there about to get your diploma you start to realize that it really was worth it. You may never use long division again, but you know that school is about a lot more than learning theories and principles. It is about learning concentration and responsibility.
This speaks a lot to motherhood and how when times are tough, and they seem like they will never get better it is important to stick with it.
When you feel like giving up is the moment you need to push through it because everything will all be worth it.
When the baby won’t sleep, and you need a dozen cups of coffee (which you can’t have because you are breastfeeding) that is when you need to push on. You will look back, when your children are all grown and gone, and realize that every moment and challenge was worth it, and you wouldn’t change a thing.
8 Let Kids Be Kids!
We live in a world that is very different than how it was when we were growing up. Children are sheltered today and don’t always get the true experience of being a kid. They tend to gravitate towards their electronics more and are much more hesitant to go run outside anymore. When all of us moms were growing up, it was always important and pushed to just let kids be kids. Let them get dirty and eat mud. Let them have candy and sweets every once in a while. If you ask me, it was a pretty good way to grow up.
We as moms get caught up in how parenting is done today. With all the warnings about GMO’s in food and how we should not be giving them any processed foods or sugars, we are not letting our children experience the lifestyle we had growing up.
This also means that mom is very stressed out, as she worries constantly about what her kid is eating, whether it be food or some dirt. If we just let that all go and let them have the experiences that we did, we would be a lot more relaxed and they would have a lot more fun.
7 Sharing Really Is Caring
The concept and sharing seems like something you learn in kindergarten and you leave behind. Been there, done that. However, sharing is something that we need to take with us into adulthood and motherhood. Sharing is a hard concept for children to learn, and it normally takes them a while, but they do get there. It is a battle that is fought at home with their siblings, as well as in the classroom with their peers. However, we push and push that they need to share and that they would have more fun if they all played together with a particular item.
Mom’s need to learn to share as well. There are so many hacks and tricks when it comes to being a parent that it is not fair to find something that works and not share it with other moms.
A mom can learn a lot from other moms, if they are willing to share their information.
That is one of the purposes of all the mom groups you see around your community and on Facebook. You can not only share tips and tricks, but safety advice. If a mom has a scary incident, it is best to share it with other moms in hopes of preventing it from happening to someone else.
6 You Are Loved
The most important thing you learned as a child was that you were loved, and unconditionally. You knew that your parents loved you, and that they would love you no matter what you did. If you made a mistake or did something that was not favourable, you knew that you would get in trouble, but you also still knew that your parents loved you. Your behaviour did not take their love away. You also knew how to love. A child does not know hate, and they truly want to love everyone they meet, and they do. It is not until they are older that they start to limit their love.
As moms, we need to remind ourselves that we are loved. We live in a world where when you have children, it is not uncommon for you to feel lonely at times.
There may be some visitors for a while in the beginning, but that normally fades, and they stop coming to see you. Friends who do not have children seem to stop calling. However, this does not mean you are not loved. You are still loved. You are loved by your baby, who is probably the most important being in your world right now, and for this moment that is enough to get you through.
5 Leave Behind: The Gender Roles
A lot of lessons we learn as a child are good, as you can see in the previous part of this article. There are however, lessons we have learned that should just be thrown out the window. Gender roles is one. When we were children there was a clear line dividing a boy and a girl. Boys wore blue and girls wore pink. Baby girls played with dolls and boys played with trains. This is just how it was, and no one questioned it. Now, people are questioning and challenging these gender roles.
Gender roles does not mean the actual gender of your child, but how you dress them and what you let them play with. We are in an age where it is OK for a boy to play with a doll and a girl to play a rough sport like football. We are recognizing our children as individuals who have their own interests.
After all, a little boy grows up to be a father one day, so letting him play with a baby doll is only going to teach him to care for and be gentle with a baby.
This is one lesson from your childhood to just throw away, it is time to start a new lesson trend.
4 Leave Behind: Old School Lessons On Bullying
Bullying is not something new, it has been around for ages and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. If anything, it seems to be getting worse due to the introduction of technology. Cyber bullying is a large and very real issue that needs to be tackled. When we were growing up we were given a lot of advice about how to deal with a bully. We were told to ignore them, and even worse, we were told if a little boy bullied a girl than that just means he liked her. We were taught that a person was bullying us because they were jealous of us, and all of these lessons really had us confused.
All these tips on how to deal with a bully need to be retired. They should never be used again.
The only lesson that should be taught on how to deal with a bully is to speak up.
To tell someone if you are having trouble with a person at school or online. A lot of bullying forms are illegal now, and there can be legal consequences for bullying someone. The only way we are going to see change in this world is if we teach our children to speak up for what is right and speak up against bullying.
3 Leave Behind: Grandpa’s Rude Jokes
We all love our grandparents, they are these wonderful people who give us treats and spoil us rotten. They are also pretty funny and have a lot of great jokes to tell. Jokes get passed on, when we hear something funny we want to share it and bring laughter to something else. The problem is a lot of our grandparent’s jokes are not appropriate in today’s world. They grew up in a world where outdated attitudes were prevalent and something that you made jokes out of. Sure, they may mean it as harmless, but they do still hurt and so their jokes should be left behind.
Sadly, we still live in a world with a lot of stereotypes. We have not learned much from our history and we are still struggling for equality.
If we do not leave those jokes in the past as parents, we are teaching them to our children and that will not help to stop anything. We need to shut these jokes down and teach our children to respect everyone they meet, not dependant on what they look like or what country they are from.
That is how we end discrimination: by teaching our children differently.
2 Leave Behind: Life Is Marriage And Then Children!
If you go back to your childhood and even further the typical family included a husband and wife. It was always proper to get married first and then have children. That is what we were taught growing up by our parents and grandparents. There is no point in continuing to teach our children this because that is not what a family looks like, and it doesn’t have to look like that.
Families come in all different shapes, styles and sizes. You have single moms, single dads, co-parenting, same-gender parents and everything in between. This is the normal and it is important to teach our children what the world looks like.
If we give them a false pretences on how the world is, they will be in for a rough awakening when they start to discover it for themselves.
Diversity is key, and it is important to show them how different the world is, and how this can be beautiful. It also goes a long way to help them on the school ground when they run into a friend who has a different style of family from him. It is all about learning, something we all want our children to do.
1 Leave Behind: Not Challenging Authority
When we were kids, the rule was law. We were taught to obediently and blindly follow our parents wishes and never question what they asked of us. We didn’t even need to be taught this, we just did it. While, it is still important for children to respect their parents, we may be doing a disservice to them by fully enforcing this. Questioning authority is not always a bad thing. It does not always mean that you do not respect someone, it means that it doesn’t make sense to you and you either need more clarification or to come to a compromise.
When you become a mother, you have a hard time questioning authority. You still do what your mom says when it comes to how to get your baby to sleep or how much they should be eating. Then, there is your doctor.
We all would like to trust our doctor and believe that what they say must be right because they are a doctor. However, they are human too and they make mistakes.
It is always important for a mom to speak up if she feels that something is wrong, or she doesn’t like what the doctor suggests. The doctors are there to work with you, not for you and if your doctor is not working with you than you need to find a new doctor.