As parents we are constantly making choices that will impact our children for the rest of their lives whether we are aware or mean to. Every little thing we do, our children observe. They learn by "monkey see, monkey do" or observational learning and modelling. Yes, this means they pick up on the fact that we don't eat pasta or sweets and witnessed that time we lost our minds on the woman who cut us off in the check out line at the grocery store.

While it is nearly impossible to be aware 100% of the time how our children will be impacted by our daily actions, we need to put in some serious effort to avoid the post traumatic and toxic habits we have from being passed on to our kids.

We are shaping human beings, and that is a terrifying concept. We influence the adults that our children will one day become through our own words, actions, and opinions. We impact how they see the world and the people in it. This includes their own family members and friends because our words will imprint on them for a lifetime so maybe it's best we keep the in-law feuding to a minimum around little ears.

12 Getting Nasty

Let's be very clear here, doing the dirty and showing affection are two whole separate ball games. A kiss on the cheek is much different than a full blown make out or our kids watching us kiss our partner's neck. Let's just all cringe here as we imagine walking in on our own parents doing that.

We should definitely avoid our kids witnessing us having "sexy time" because it's just not a conversation we want to have with our kids for one. Two it crosses A LOT of boundaries regarding what is appropriate and what is not. While obviously two parents doing it is different than two teenagers doing it, we can still encourage things by our own actions.

That's not what we mean to do obviously. Plus who wants to answer five hundred questions about if we are making a new baby?

11 Talking Trash About The Family

Okay, it's super understandable to have a crazy aunt, dreadful mother-in-law, or otherwise nasty relative that we hate dealing with. However, these people are still our child's family. As long as they aren't toxic or negative around our children, it is important to not influence their relationships negatively. We want our kids to be able to create their own opinions.

These people might not be our favorites, but if they love our children what reason do we have to let our personal feelings ruin that? This is especially important for divorced families to keep in mind because how we talk about our former partner can impact our child's relationship with both of us. They may resent us for speaking poorly or believe what we say and hate their parent for no reason.

10 Fat Shaming (Even The Kids)

Eating disorders, calorie counting, and body hating have become a second nature to so many girls and women. It's bad enough that our girls see such unrealistic images in the media, we don't need them getting those ideals at home as well. While we might struggle with our own body image, that's not something we want to pass down to our own daughters. We want to be honest about our feelings, but maybe keep our opinions to ourselves about our thigh gap or lack thereof.

This body hating issue also applies to how we speak about other people. We should probably avoid calling other woman "large Marge" and "fatty" in front of our kids because that isn't how we are going to want them to refer to others when they get older. We also don't want them to think that's how people should be defined

9 Letting The Blood Boil

Who isn't guilty of losing their temper a time or two in front of the kids?

Expressing anger is a normal, natural part of life, but it's how we express that anger that can be toxic to our children. It's obviously important to refrain from violent, physical expressions of anger. It can be SO easy to give in and go off on the jerk who cuts us off in traffic or who skips us in line at the check out, but what example are we teaching our children? On one side, yes it is important we don't raise our children to think those things are right, but there is a better way to teach that lesson.

We as parents are human, but we can also teach our kids how to handle their own tempers by attempting to handle our own. It's not easy for anyone, parent or child, but it is an essential part of living in a civilized society. We can't punch everyone in the face for taking the last jar of pasta sauce or for beating us up to the barista.

8 Always Trying To Impress

People are always going to have nasty things to say about how we dress, look, act, talk, and so on. We want our children to be well-mannered and polite, but we also don't want them to be negatively impacted by the opinions of others. We don't want them to live in fear of judgement. We want our children to love themselves and do what makes them happy.

As parents, we might discourage our kids' tantrums because "people will stare." While there certainly is a time and a place, we can't just lock ourselves in our home because our 2 year old might cry. We don't want our children to live in a bubble of fear because of strangers' opinions or even those of friends and family. While it is important to be respectful, it shouldn't damper how we live our lives.

7 Steps On The Scale Every Morning

Girls look up to their mothers as a role model for confidence, love, friendships, and take on life. A mother who is constantly trying a new diet or counting every last calorie will show her daughter that toxic example. She will let her daughter feel her own lack of self esteem which will greatly impact her as well one day.

Counting calories and constant dieting aren't even healthy ways to manage one's weight. We can totally teach our children, boys and girls, about making healthy choices in regards to what they eat or exercise without imparting the ideal that they can never eat a cheeseburger or brownie again.

6 Swearing Like A Sailor

As cute as it is that our two year old knows every curse word in the book, it stops being cute after the first five times. It can actually get our children in some pretty serious trouble without them meaning to. After all, they are just imitating mom and dad by repeating words they hear at home or in the car.

We don't always mean to swear. Sometimes it just comes out when we stub our toe or spill our coffee, but it is a habit we need to actively curb. We can search for as many substitutes as possible in order to prevent our children developing this habit too soon. No one wants to be the parent picking up their child from kindergarten because they called little Suzy the b word.

5 Fighting With Dad

Fighting is a normal part of a relationship, and while it isn't necessary that we act like we never fight. It's important to not constantly bicker about the little things that don't really matter in front of our kiddos. Pick our battles, or at least what we battle about in front of the kids. For example, wait until after bedtime to argue about the coworker relationship that is inappropriate or forgetting to put the seat down.

Our kids need to know that their parental unit is a team. That means compromise and putting aside our differences politely in order to be parents. If we spend our days screaming at our partner, it can impact how our children view us. They might fear a dad who always yells or disrespect a mom because dad disrespects her. This works both ways though. If we constantly belittle our children's father, they might think less of him as a dad and a man.

4 Rejecting Hugs And Kisses

Affection is a natural part of life. It is an essential component of a healthy relationship or marriage, and that is an ideal we want to pass on to our children. We should not be embarrassed to hold hands, hug, or kiss our spouse or children in public. We certainly do not want our children to grow up to be humiliated or ashamed of those things.

Affection is a normal part of a relationship. It is not something we should shy away from or hide from. It might be easy to feel awkward about it, and that's also perfectly normal. But we don't want our children to think it's wrong to show their feelings while out in public.

3 Making Racist Comments

We might like to say we are color blind, but there are so many people who are not. Racism is not dead, and sadly it probably is not going anywhere any time soon. Our children do not need to grow up knowing a divided society. As parents, it is our job to ensure that our children are not afraid of other races. We don't want them to think they are better than anyone else because of skin color. We want them to be accepting of all cultures and races.

Our kids learn from us so if we say someone got into trouble "because they're black" or someone has it easy "because they're white" they will pick up on this. We want our children to be color blind, if that is even possible anymore. In order to accomplish this, we have to keep our own harsh opinions away from them.

2 Acting Like A Kid... In Front Of The Kids

Parents today are busier than ever making it so easy to make McDonald's and other fast-food restaurants a tradition and habit. We lead by example, but we also are advocates for our kids. we determine if they do sports, have physical activity, and what they eat.

We need to not only teach our children about nutrition and healthy choices, but we also need to make sure we are making those decisions for them now. It is our job to raise these humans to be good, healthy people who make the best choices.

We want our children to know the importance of physical activity and eating right. We want them to know about making good choices regarding drugs, sex, partying, school, and how to be the best possible version of themselves.

1 Always Talking Money

Financial hardship is a part of adult life. It's stressful and frustrating. It isn't something that children need to be exposed to. As parents, it is our job to prevent our children from hearing about debts, collections, and mortgages while they are young. Now that doesn't mean we shouldn't teach them about the value of money and that they should work to earn it, but we should probably limit the scarier parts until they are much older.

Our kids do not need to be terrified about losing the roof over their head or not having enough to eat for dinner. It's just not something a child needs to be concerned about. While money and financial matters are important and require communication, maybe we should save this topic for after bedtime or while the kids are out of earshot.