We've all had “the talk” with our parents at some point in time when we were younger. Some just found it plain old funny to see their parents struggling to discuss the birds and the bees and where babies come from. Others found this talk pretty embarrassing and uncomfortable, after all, who wants to discuss intimacy with their parents?
In most families, it's a tough discussion whether to bring it up, or let the children themselves ask mom and dad. And deciding at what age is it appropriate and necessary to discuss intimacy, because if parents wait to late, then there isn't a point in discussing how it's done, rather than how to be safe. Another talk which will give kids some major shudders.
Who gets the honor of having these talks? Is it a joint effort? How can parents field these types of questions? What are the right questions to ask a child and what do parents do if they have inappropriate or inaccurate information?
These questions alone can cause some serious sweat. There's a lot riding on this talk. While most parents think their influence over their kids stops at age 12, kids still look to their parents for guidance even into their 20s.
Below we have some funny, difficult and downright embarrassing moments parents have had when tackling intimacy questions from their children. While these stories might leave couples laughing, just remember that this is in the not too distant future for ALL parents. Instead of coming up with creative ways of answering the age old “s” question, enjoy the 15 funniest ways parents have explained the birds and the bees:
13 The Man Sticks His Private In A Woman’s Private
Yes, there are parents out there who have actually have started the intimacy talk off with this awkward explanation. They figure, let’s get the embarrassing details out of the way first and then please God, let the kids ask the simple questions. The act of making a baby is really a simple thing, or at least the mechanics of it are.
Most children at the beginning don’t even want a more sophisticated explanation than that so parents just try to run with this weird explanation. Some kids will still inquire how they stick the body parts together, and this is where both parents need to prepare in advance with some easy, non-tongue-tied explanations so they don’t make the moment even more awkward for themselves and their child.
Since most kids are familiar with their own privates they might wonder how exactly does it work with another person's private parts. And if your child isn't familiar with both sets of anatomy, then you might have to draw a couple of stick figures.
12 Ask The School Nurse
Ah yes, the school nurse send off. This is one of the easiest ways parents of the past got away with having “the talk” with their impressionable children. However, it caused lots of additional questions because sometimes the nurse would give medical explanations which would confuse the child even more.
That's why together a medical explanation and the parent’s is the best way for kids to get a well rounded explanation of what's involved in baby making. Askin gthe school nurse is also an easy way out for parents of the past when kids really needed the accurate information about sex from the most important source and influence, their parents.
Children get so much misinformation about sex from movies, books and friends that the medical jargon will only confuse them. That's why it's mandatory for parents to pull their head out of the sand and talk. That's the only way their kids will get less embarrassed and have accurate information.
11 Parents Use YouTube As An Assistant
Good old YouTube, it’s a parents go-to place when they don’t have an answer for the talk, just like using Google to help with their child’s homework. YouTube can be a great way to find information for science, math and history, but as a parent you have to be selective about what information is best shared with your child and which video is dangerous or inaccurate.
Many kids like the YouTube explanation, but some may be weirded out by it, so mom and dad should also take some notes, memorize the gist of the notes, so that they can appear more relaxed when talking to their children. Again children can sense authenticity, and they'll know if their parents are uncomfortable.
Parents need to be organized when having this talk with their kids so it goes as smoothly as possible for everyone. Then they'll have done their bit.
10 The Safety First Speech
Safety is good, there's nothing wrong with teaching kids about being safe with ther partner. Lots of parents take this approach to educating their kids, of course this approach is best given to kids who are in their teens. The safety first approach could give children a “gloom and doom” mindset about being intimate, or help them be better organized in terms of birth control and proper life choices.
However, this again is the parents’ decision as they know their child the best. A parent has to give a balance of safety and security and teach fun and love at the same time. We don’t want to scare kids into not having a good physical relationship one day, but also make sure they understand that they need to exercise good choices in order to be happy and healthy.
With very little children, it is not necessary to go and buy the supplies with them obviously, but just keep things simple in terms of explaining the do’s and don’ts in a sexual relationship.
9 It's Dirty And Wrong
Some parents believe the best way to stop their kids from engaging in premartial relations is to scare them away from the act altogether. If they scare their kids into believing that being intimate can harm them, or that there's something wrong with having certain urges, then kids might develop fears and issues surrounding their own maturity.
Another tactic parents use is the fear of pregnancy. They impress upon their kids that pregnancy is bad unless the couple is married or older. Some parents hope this keeps their kids away from doing it until they're forty.
That's a slight exaggeration, but yet there are parents out there who do worry about their child engaging in this activity before they're in a long committed relationship and are ready to marry or stay with the individual long term.
This could work with some kids but will most likely backfire with others. That's because some kids are worriers by nature, so this will send them panicking, and other kids will do what they want anyway. The most important thing is for parents to be clear in whatever information they share, and don’t make kids feel fear over something natural and beautiful.
8 Grownups Take Their Clothes Off And Do A Special Dance
This explanation of what goes on under the blankets as “a special dance,” is pretty funny, because we can only imagine what kids are thinking when they hear this explanation. I mean come one, the horizontal mambo anyone. Like we would even recognize the original mambo looks like.
Watching your kids's facial expression will be priceless as he goes from happy, to shocked, to complete confusion. But if parents are lucky, eventually the message will get across. Intimacy like dancing, is a pleasurable and fun thing, and that's what so many of these talks forget, is how much fun the whole thing can be.
Boring talks take away a lot of the joy and beauty out of this natural act. Out of two people coming together their DNA intertwines and produces something beautiful. So if parents want to explain intimacy as a sort of dance, then I think that's an explanation that needs a follow up of facts.
7 Daddy Makes A Deposit Into Mom's Pocket
I have never heard this one before, and I can only imagine that the father who gave this talk must have been a banker. In a funny YouTube video, one dad tries to illustrate to his daughter how the act works. Much to his little girl’s confusion, he is really trying to be original and get his message across to her in a simple way.
The girl’s mom sits patiently and quietly next to the dad, letting him explain and blunder the talk further. It's an interesting talk and certainly an exercise in creativity, daring, and the willingness to live on the edge.
By the end of the talk, the little girl is totally confused by her dad's explanation.
Hopefully this little girl feels comfortable coming to dad or mom with any questions about intimacy or anything else in the future. An inquisitive child, even if confused, will defeintely come back with more questions.
6 The Man Releases Fluid Where The Baby Is Made
This YouTube video of a mom talking about the birds and bees with her daughter is heart warming and still pretty hilarious. The funniest moment comes after the mom has finished the talk with her daughter and then realizes she didn't like how she explained it all to her daughter.
She says, “I don’t like. I really don’ like that.” She even repeats this staring at the camera, too.
When talking about a tough subject it can be hard to talk about it clearly. With intimacy though, it’s a lot trickier since we don’t want our child to come out too informed by the end, if not more confused or offended by the choice of words or language used.
The daughter in the video is so cute, and it's nice to see her and her mom laughing about having this talk. Viewers can watch this close family in motion handling this sensitive situation. Laughter is truly the best medicine in this situation that makes everything run smoothly.
5 When Bodies Get Close Together They Make Babies
One dad tried explaining intimacy by keeping it simple, but in this case, maybe it was a little too simple and broad an explanation. It's tough to tackle all the details of the birds and the bees for parents, especially becauses the tricky part is getting all the information across to your kid without mixing up the facts because you're so nervous.
Getting close together could actually be a good way to bring up other things surrounding intimacy to kids. parents can include how they need to have boundaries with other people, and other people with them. It could also be a good way to teach them how they should always feel comfortable talking to mom and dad about how they feel and how others have treated them.
This is the perfect time to talk about special touching and inappropriate and what they shouldn't tolerate and what eeds to be reported. More and more this is becoming a mandatory part of the talk.
4 It's A Special Type Of Hug
In a way being intimate is like a “special hug.” This way parents can skirt over all the kissing and other parts of lovemaking that many young children are too young to understand. Lots of parents have used this explanation to smooth over questions about how parents make the baby. Yes, there is the special hug, baby gets put inside and them boom, Mommy has baby.
The truth is most kids will still want a more technical explanation since this one isn't thorough enough and may even confuse them. They may start to think that hugging people makes babies. In that case, parents will have a whole other problem to deal with. Sigh.
So though this is a great conversation opener to intimacy, parents need to continue to build on this explanation, and make sure their child understands where this is all going. How will they tie in hugging with the next steps in making a baby? That’s extra homework for mom and dad to grapple with.
3 This Is How Animals Do It
Using livestock as an example has helped many parents discuss the technical aspects of intimacy through to birth in a way so their kids can really understand what it means to make a baby. Other parents might illustrate their point by explaining how a flower blooms and the process of how that evolves.
It's a beautiful way of showing how nature and living things--like people and animals--are interconnected, and it could be done spontaneously. Kids also tend to gravitate to a more relaxed atmosphere when discussing controversial or big topics, and they would probably absorb more about what is happening than during a staged the talk.
Best of all, this explanation can be used for almost any age group because it's probably something they've seen animals do before whether on a farm or in the zoo. Also when parents explain how animals do it, there's less pressure and embarrassment than there is when they're explaining how people do it.
2 Going To The Drug Store To Explain How It Works
This is guaranteed to be one shopping trip your kids wil never forget. Some parents might take their kids down the aisle where condoms are sold, or even show them online the different contraceptives people use.
For daughters, a trip to see “feminine products” available for that part of their lives might be included in their talk. This is usually done with older children, but sometimes parents will take the younger ones too to show them what is out there. Depending on the age of the kid and their worldliness, this trip will either be embarrassing for the parent, or more embarrassing for thei child.
However, most parents don't do this unless it's absolutely necessary for them to make the rest of their explanation clear and concise. Scarily enough, there might even be some kids that could give their parents a whole earful of information on these products.
1 Using Dolls And Stuffed Animals To Illustrate The Deed
Gung ho parents might use their children's dolls or stuffed animals to show their kids, what the act of intimacy looks like. Most of us feel tremendously sorry for these kids, because this talk could come off as rather strange.
Still, it takes courage for mom and dad to venture into the unknown and attempt to illustrate what goes on between consenting adults to their children with puppets and props. As long as it's done without too much fan fair, I’m sure the children won't suffer too much through this, we hope.
This would take a lot out of parents too, having to explain the whole intimacy thing. Word to the wise for parents, get separate stuffed animals or dolls for this demonstration as children will probably not be comfortable playing with those toys again!
Every family is different and has their own sets of morals, beliefs and comfort zones around all sorts of topics. As long as parents know their child, their own comfort level in talking about these things, they will know exactly what direction to head when they're ready for the “birds and the bees” chat.