When mom is expecting a child, there are a lot of important decisions that she must make. One of the most important decisions is picking out the OB she wants to care for her and her baby throughout her pregnancy. They are also the one who will be trusted in helping her deliver her little baby, so it is a crucial decision to make.
As with any decision we make, there are moments when we may start to regret them and wonder if we made the wrong decision. This can also happen when it comes to an OB, and this is a big one. What does one do? Do they just suck it up and deal with the issues, or do they try and find a new one? It is not so easy to make this decision.
Of course, everyone wants the best when it comes to the doctor that will play a large part in caring for us and (more importantly) our baby for 9 months and then some, so it would be automatically assumed that if mom is not happy then she should just switch doctors. However, it takes a while to get in to see an OB, and if mom is further along in her pregnancy it may be near impossible.
That is why it is very important to screen the OB before making a final decision, although this is what happens in an ideal world. In the real world, women don’t normally find out there is an issue until they are already being seen, so it is important to make a needed change as early as possible.
We have found 13 reasons women have stated that they have had to leave their OB, and then added on are 2 reasons why mom may have too.
15 They Just Couldn’t Relate
Sometimes, the switch isn’t to another OB but to another care provider all together. One woman decided to make the switch between her OB and a midwife. She felt that she could not relate to her OB at all, and she realized that she was looking for a more personal experience. Her doctor was all business, as most OBs tend to be, and that was just not how she wanted to spend 9-months of her life.
She felt that her midwife she ended up picking was closer to her age and had young children of her own, so it was a much more relatable experience. The root of this concern was that she did not feel comfortable with her OB. Comfort is a huge component on picking the right OB, and if you don’t feel that sense of comfort like this mom didn’t, it may be time to switch.
14 Whose Experience Is Better
It is common knowledge that the more you do something, the better you get at it. This is the same when it comes to medical professionals. Experience is always important, and we find comfort in a doctor that has done a procedure or something more than once. One woman chose to switch OBs only for the reason that she felt her current one did not have much experience. She was uncomfortable with that and decided to go to someone who has more experience.
There are people out there who would say that young doctors who are just starting out need these patients because they need to build their experience and their portfolio. While this is true, if you are a high-risk patient and you are facing a difficult pregnancy and possible C-section, you are going to want an OB that has some experience with both difficult pregnancies and C-sections.
13 Never Answers The Phone
It is not a big secret that OBs are busy people. They have a lot of people to care for and they are always on-call for emergencies and deliveries. It would seem par for the course that they would be difficult to get a hold of. One woman reached her limit of how difficult it was to get a hold of her OB, even just a simple phone call, that she decided to make the switch.
There is a level that is acceptable when it comes to how difficult it is to get a hold of your OB, like I said we all know how busy they are. However, there is a time when it becomes unacceptable. Pregnancy is a very scary time, and sometimes emergencies happen, and we need to get a hold of our doctors rather quickly to make sure everything is OK. If we can not trust that we will be able to get in contact with them, it will make us more stressed and end up in a lot of unnecessary hospital visits.
12 An Obstacle For Doc's Vacation
After reading through a lot of the reasons women have had for switching OBs this one takes the cake. One woman stated that she was switching OBs because her current OB had a plan that she did not agree with. Her OB had scheduled her to be induced at 38 weeks pregnant so that it did not interfere with the doctor’s vacation plans. This is extremely unethical, and we hope that as well as switching she reported this doctor.
There are many cases were induction is needed and necessary. The general rule still applies that we should allow babies to come on their own time. To make sure that they are ready and developed enough to come out. 38 weeks may not be that early, but it still early enough. It is a selfish reason for wanting to induce a patient and we can completely understand why this woman ran out of the office very quickly.
11 Huh? (I Don’t Understand A Word You Are Saying!)
One woman made the decision to switch OBs simply because she didn’t understand a word that was coming out of his mouth. It wasn’t because he was speaking a different language than her, it was because she didn’t understand all the medical terminology he was using. OBs are doctors who have gone through medical school and are incredibly smart. They have all this medical terminology in their brains, long names for normal conditions that scare the crap out of anyone who doesn’t understand what they are saying.
Sometimes doctors forget that the rest of us are, well, human. That we did not go to medical school, so we have no idea what they are saying. Sometimes it is just a slip, but when it becomes a habit, you may need to do what this woman did and switch. It did nothing but cause her a lot of anxiety and confusion.
10 Just A Stranger
Piggybacking off the last entry, some people find that they want an OB that feels like their friend. This is going to be hard to find because most medical doctor’s do not see you as a friend. They see you as a patient. This may seem cold, but it is the ethically right thing to do. They are not supposed to become your best friend, they are supposed to provide you with medical care that benefits your health.
One woman wanted a medical provider that was more than just business, one that she felt that she could have a conversation with. She found that her OB was all business, and that all their conversations revolved around pregnancy and babies. Some would argue that this is what OB’s are for, and they would be right. To find the care she wanted, she ended up having to go to a midwife.
9 Just A Paycheck
It is not a big secret that doctors make a lot of money every year. That for every patient they get their paycheque goes up. Most OBs are very good at making a woman feel like she is not just a paycheque to them, while others are not so great. Unfortunately, when this happens the doctor is going to lose this paycheque. One woman switched OBs due to the poor bedside manner when it came to making her feel like he saw more than dollar signs when he looked at her.
Unfortunately, these types of OBs may never change, because even if they lose a patient they know that there are dozens more on the waitlist just waiting for an OB. OBs are busy because they have a lot of patients. A lot of women are pregnant out there, and they all need someone to care for them during their pregnancy. This can create a very disconnected relationship.
8 Rush, Rush, Rush
Have we mentioned already how busy OB’s are? I am sure we have, but for good measure, we can say it again. OBs are very busy. They have a long list of patients, they have a longer waiting list and they can be called to the delivery room at any minute. This means that a lot of OBs appear to ‘rush’ their appointments.
That was enough for one woman to switch OBs. She was 11 weeks pregnant and felt that her OB was rushing all of her appointments and not taking the time to really give her the proper information. As a first-time mom to be, this unnerved her, and she wanted someone who would take just a little bit more time to go through everything with her. A good rule of thumb is if you want to know something, just ask, don’t wait for them to tell you information they may assume you already know.
7 Just Didn’t Listen
One woman had a simple reason as to why she left her OB, she simply stated that her OB did not listen to her. Doctors have a lot of book smarts, but sometimes, they can lack the more sensitive skills; like active listening. They may hear the words you are saying but they are not actually listening to you. This could be due to them being busy and over-booked, but it is just not cutting it for a lot of moms out there.
If you feel like your OB is just not listening to you, it may not be such a bad idea to switch. You may even find yourself switching to a midwife all together. Midwives are known for having a more personal touch when it comes to care, possibly because they are not as overbooked as OBs are. Either way, you must find an OB that you feel listens to your concerns and takes them seriously.
6 Cold Shoulder
This is another one that comes down to personal relationship. To some people this is not that important. They are perfectly fine with having that normal patient and doctor relationship. That there are clear roles and definitions and that our doctors are not meant to be our friends. Then there are women who want just a little bit more of a personal connection.
One woman switched OBs because she truly felt that her OB had no empathy for her. Pregnancy is an intimate, personal and difficult journey and she felt that it was important to have a medical provider who was warm to her and was just a little bit more than all business. This one is all about personal preference. It is up to what you feel you need during your pregnancy, and the kind of support you expect from your OB.
5 Their Way Or The Highway
One woman had to change OBs because she felt like she was being forced into decisions that she didn’t want to make. She felt that her wishes were being ignored and that she was being pressured into things she didn’t want to do. She found a medical provider that would give her all options possible when she encountered a problem.
Sometimes, doctors can fall into a trap where they know best and that their patients should just blindly follow their decisions. Most times, this is the smart thing to do, because they really do know best. However, they should take their patients concerns and wishes into consideration. It should also involve a conversation about the choices, and not a close-ended sentence of what is best and what they will be doing. Women need to feel like they have some control in the medical decisions that are being made for them and their baby.
4 It Is All A Numbers Game
One woman stated that at any time she had a concern that she would bring up with her OB, they would just spit out facts and statistics. This left her feeling like her feelings weren’t really thought of or cared about. Doctors know statistics, it plays a large part in how they run their practice. They go by the numbers and by scientific research that has proven something is harmful or good.
It doesn’t feel nice to be thought of as just another number, we want to be seen as an individual, and even if our OBs don’t feel that way it is important that they act like they care. Bedside manner is important, and it is going to come up in the next few entries because it is a large factor in why women choose to switch OBs, some completely changing to midwives.
3 Too Far
This is a simple reason but a good one. One woman had to switch OBs simply because the office was too far for her. There was nothing particularly wrong with the doctor or the treatment she received but it was becoming a strain on her. She had other young children and had to take public transportation every time she had to go there. This was about an hour both ways. The hospital that the OB worked out of was also farther away from her.
She decided to switch to an OB that was a lot closer to her and worked out of an even closer hospital. You always want to screen how accessible your OB is. Think about the logistics, it may seem easy and simple in the beginning, but pregnancy gets harder and if you already have children taking the bus for two hours every two weeks can be a bit of a burden.
2 You May Have To Change Because They Quit!
All the reasons we listed are reasons that anyone may have to switch OBs, but there are a couple that you may not even think would happen. This first one is completely out of control, but it can happen. You may be halfway through your pregnancy or almost at the finish line and your OB quits! People leave jobs all the time, and sometimes it is not planned. They also retire. This means that you will probably be left with yet another big decision.
Normally, there are replacement doctors ready to step in and take over the caseload, however what happens if you don’t like this doctor? It is a situation that can be enough to stress out even the calmest pregnant woman. It can be even more stressful if you had a good relationship with your current doctor and the news comes out of nowhere.
1 You May Have To Change Because They Ignore You!
This is a reason that no one likes to think will happen to them, but it does. There may be a situation where you doctor mistreats you in some way. This could mean that they ignore you when you call or visit with a severe pain and it ends up in a pregnancy loss. Of course, this would be a little too late to switch OBs, so it is important to really screen your doctor.
If you start to notice that they are not taking you seriously, that they are not listening, or that they are being a little too rough when it comes to any exams or doppler checks than you may need to change OBs. Don’t be afraid to let them know why. It is always better to be safe than sorry, and while we would like to think these situations never happen, they do, and no one should have to go through that.