Raising children is no easy task. Just when the baby grows up and starts sleeping better, feeding themselves and communicating their needs clearly, parents start thinking that the worst is over and they shouldn’t be worried. But they shouldn't relax just yet, along with growing up and hitting milestones come new milestones, except these ones have to do with behavior and attitude.
A child's personality starts to solidify by the time they are 3 years old. Around this time it's important to have rules and boundaries in place and measures ready to reinforce those rules and boundaries. It goes without saying that different philosophies of parenting yield different results.
Some people believe that giving children everything they want will make them bratty, others believe that there's no such thing as too much love and attention in the early years. Regardless of which school of thought parents belong to, both will agree that from 2 years old to 5 years old things can be rough.
Children respond to discipline, parents shouldn't overlook how the family dynamic as a whole contributes to the child’s behavior, as does the child's situation at school. Spending around 8 hours a day surrounded by the same people will affect a child’s life dramatically.
When parents apply their disciplinary methods, they should assess the whole situation first and not overlook a major aspect of their child’s life.
Parents are always eager to do the right thing, but are often left clueless as how to execute doing the right thing. They brush off their child’s behavior as being normal for their age, or that it's too early for them to understand certain concepts. For this reason, we've provided some signs that tell parents that something is going wrong under their roof and how they can change it.
13 They're Insensitive
These are the type of kids who don't care what's going on in another person's life, they say what they want regardless of what that message is and they can be pretty judgemental, too. You might recognize this child as the mean child. Their attacks come out of nowhere and seems to have no rhyme or reasons behind them.
So how do parents cultivate a little mean spirited tyke? By replacing genuine love with stuff. Kids who are taught that value lies in the outside or in possessions tend to be insenstive. On top of this, if the parents overlook their bratty behavior, that encourages these behaviors to continue.
parents should instead teach kids that what's inside counts, they should be encouraged to look inside and value who they are in their heart, that their inner qualities are important. Children who feel they have to hide their real selves are more likely to lash out at others.
12 They Won't Play Alone
Misery loves company, and so do bratty kids. It might seem counterintuitive, but bratty kids love to have a playmate, they don't feel comfortable playing alone. Psychologists say that children should be able to play alone for a period of time by themselves by the age of 4.
So if your child absolutley insists that you play with them because they'll be bored, don't give in all the time, especially if you know they have some of these bad habits to overcome. By giving in, you're teaching your child to be needy, and you know who likes a needy adult? No one.
Stand your ground and let them know that you have other things to do, that you can't play right now. If they throw a fit, let them. There's no need to bargain or debate. If your child tries to bate you with a deal, don't consider it, you need to have consistent limits in place that your child will learn to respect.
11 Talks Back
Children instinctually know how to say, 'No,' from the time they are babies. It starts with crying at things they dislike and develops to temper tantrums and then to saying "No!" Learning to stand up for yourself is a critical skill for kids, it's important for them to understand what they can and can't say when expressing themselves during conflict and disagreement.
Some children understand boundaries because their parents have taken the time to teach them.
On the other hand, there are other children who don't have this skill who say unacceptable things to their parents and get away with it, or get off with a mild warning. Over time, these children may lose sight of how hurtful their words might be and could eventually say these mean things to their parents as part of their daily interaction.
From their tone to using dirty words they speak disrespectfully to their parents. In this situation, parents need to exert firm action to let their child know this is unacceptable. Talking back is one of the first, yet most serious, signs the child will cause problems and be in trouble more than normal.
10 Wants Complete Control
One word that best sums up being spoiled is, controling. Out of all the many ways that spoiled kids have to give their parents a tough time, control is a one. Control becomes a battleground because kids like t get their own way, they think the world revolves around them. And by “the world,” we mean the house, the car, the babysitter, the siblings, and even their teacher.
Controling children are extremely difficult to discipline and usually have a hard time getting along well with the people around them.
This trait is not to be confused with leadership where a child encourages others and helps those around him by giving instructions. A child who volunteers to lead a group or a sports team is in fact a healthy child. But a child who does that and then get furious when not every single detail goes their way is spoiled and egotistical.
This type of child protests when things aren't done according to their plan and quits or refuses to participate in events or sports, because they no longer satisfy their need of feeling important.
9 Ignores Their Parents
Ignoring parents is a surefire sign of a spoiled child. When a child doesn't listen to their parents, or makes an effort to do exactly the opposite of what their parents tell them, this goes beyond control and originates from the inherent lack of respect for authority.
Ignoring parents when they're asking for something, giving an order or nagging about cleaning a dirty room is common and most parents can handle it. Disregarding the parents is more serious when the parents are asking for help, expressing positive feedback or saying something nice and the child doesn't respond at all.
In this case the child lacks the proper empathy they need to interact with their parents. They don't care if their parents need them or if their parents are mad. Even requests as simple as, “Put on your shoes,” are met with complete neglect.
8 Always Ask For More
Spoiled children are never satisfied. When they ask for something and the parents make it happen they always find something else to nag about, whether it's a new toy, a trip with friends, or an hour more at a birthday party, they never seem to be content with what they have. Even when they know a parent is having a hard time getting them what they want, they don't show any appreciation.
And when these kids are denied something, they make a big deal about it. Unlike other children who may pout and whine for a few hours and move on, spoiled children will continue to talk endlessly about how much they wanted whatever it was they wanted.
The main reason kids ask for more is because for them, what they want is a big deal. They expect their parents to fulfill their wishes. Spoiled children though, think they are worthy of everything in the world and there is nothing they are not entitled to. They don't have a sense of boundaries on what they can and can't ask for.
7 Disrespect Adults
One true characteristic of spoilt kids is that they not only disrespect their own parents, they also disrespect other adults. Usually kids respect adults because they see them as authority figures, so much so that it's the main reason parents have to teach their kids about stranger danger. But with spoiled kids this isn't the case.
They see themselves as more important than everyone and that includes adults. They don't see any reason they should respect anybody's boundaries, no matter who they're dealing with. This includes strangers, relatives and teachers.
Children show their disrespect through their words and actions. They talk back, use sarcastic and offensive tones or refuse to acknowledge someone’s presence. In more severe cases, they may throw objects, make fun of someone or intentionally spill the beans about something bad they heard behind their back.
As with parents, they may also decline people’s request for help or their desire to connect with them. This is another example of a child who doesn't empathize well with others.
6 Bullies Younger Children
Bullying is a serious problem and it's far from rare. Often, the bully is an egotistical child who thinks he has the ability to say or do whatever they like regardless of what the other person feels. Bullying attitudes start at home, usually because the child witnesses their parent bully other people, their mother/father or even the child themselves.
Old school thinking says that kids bully because they're seeking attention, which is a more interesting explanation when discussing whether bullying is a sign of being spoiled.
Even when a child doesn't witness bullying at home, they may still crave attention enough to hurt other people just to get it. When punished through time out in class or a visit to the principal’s office, they don't feel intimidated, even when the school tells them their parents will be notified.
If they've already lost respect for their parents’ authority, they're certainly not going to care about th eschool's authority.
5 They Never Share
Ask anyone and they'll tell you how this generation is nothing more than entitled little brats. That's simply not true, most kids are like the generations before them, it's the environment around the kids that has changed.
Spoiled children think everything belongs to them and that they don't have to share what they have. They never share their toys, books or games with others, even when thier friends and peers easily share with them. They don't care about being fair, because they believe they deserve everything.
If they have something they like in the class they tend to hog it just so others can't have it. They don't like it when other children go first or are chosen to do an activity. When they're asked to share or take turns it creates conflict with the adult and other children
4 Whine All The Time
We all like to get our way, we know that we can't get our way all the time, but when things seem to go our way, it does lift our spirits. With spoiled kids, they want everything their way all the time, and if they don't get their way -- duck and cover!
Some spoiled kids will throw a massive tantrum with kicking and screaming (and this isn't restricted to younger aged kids either). At first they'll try whining to get their way, but if that plan doesn't work, they will bring some serious drama. The parents find their children's behavior extremely embarrassing, but they often feel like they're being held hostage and don't know what to do.
It's a vicious circle, the child starts whinning, the parents say no, and then the child ups the ante by exploding into a fit of rage. If the parents give in, the child will continue to repeat this process, but if the parents dig their heels, remain firm and talk logically with their child, eventually these episodes will fade away. In the meantime, stay strong and hang in there kitten!
3 Always Expect Something In Return
Most people have a generous spirit when it comes to giving time or money. Kids usually have the biggest charitable spirit, something we adults could learn from. Spoiled kids haven't developed this side of themselves. Instead they only do things that benefit them personally. They don't feel like they should do something for "free."
It's rare when they do help out without being nagged or bribed to do so, and when they do help, they think they deserve special recognition for doing as much as everyone else. Another thing that spoiled kids will do, is only help out when they need something in return.
Parents should encourage their kids to be more generous by donating time as a family or getting the children to give money to charity and praising them for their generosity. Kids should be taught to feel good about giving to others.
2 They Struggle Academically
Academic success isn't just about sitting in class and listening to the teacher, students need to be engaged and be able to work with others and take criticism. Success also means owning up to mistakes you've made and being able to learn from those mistakes.
Spoiled kids don't have enough patience to work on their weaknesses, and most often don't think they make mistakes. The school system is hard for kids who don't feel like they have anything to learn.
They don't get along well enough with their peers to work in a group, they don't respect the teacher’s guidelines and do what they like when they like. They're most likely to cause problems in the classroom and their teachers are more likely to report their behavior to parents and principals.
All these factors mean a spoiled child will fall behind in school.
1 Parents Constantly Feel Defeated
It's ok for parents to argue with their kids from time to time and to disagree, but arguing with a spoiled child will leave parents feeling exhausted. Arguments are a huge part of living with a spoiled child, and they'll happen almost every day.
These arguments are more a power struggle between the child and their parents. A spoiled child's mixture of entitlement, ego and lack of respect can make parents feel like giving up. Persistent bugging and tantrums are draining, and if the child doesn't respect boundaries, their behavior can get out of control.
For parents who find themselves in the downward spiral, it's a sign that your child is gradually gaining authority over you. Luckily, the fight isn't lost yet. Start putting your foot down and following through with punishments and consequences. Eventually these bad behaviors will be tamed.