As soon as a woman finds out that she is pregnant, she feels excitement, nervousness and confusion, all at the same time. She will do plenty of her own research to maximize her chances of having a healthy pregnancy, even though the degree of that is out of her control. This is also why, she will feel hopeful whenever she sees her doctor on a regular basis.
You are going to hope that the OBGYN that you are referred to will tell you everything you need to know about increasing your chances of having a healthy pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Because of the fact that you have very little knowledge about what you need to do during your pregnancy- and what you don't need to do, you are ready to take everything that your OBGYN says as the gospel.
Now, there are many great OBGYNs out there that will tell you things that you really do need to know, and do. They will also be clear about what things are not necessary either, and will not tell you anything irrelevant to scare you either. Unfortunately, there are also many not so good OBGYNs that tell their pregnant patients' false information, and are quite good at scaring them! Let's now go over the 15 things that OBGYNs are not supposed to tell their pregnant patients at all!
13 When To Share The Big News
Are you pregnant and still in your first trimester? Do you want to delay when you make that announcement for your friends and family to know because you want to announce when you are in your second trimester when it is a 'safer time'?
Then if you want to share the news at that time, it is your call. However, there is also nothing wrong with sharing your big news from the moment you discover that you are four weeks pregnant. Many women do that and end up having healthy pregnancies!
According to What To Expect, one thing that any OBGYN is not supposed to tell their pregnant patients is when to share the big news.
If your doctor tells you to wait until you are 13 weeks along, then that is completely uncalled for. It is only your business for when you want to make the announcement, not your OBGYN's business! It is a personal preference.
I decided to make my pregnancy announcement with my daughter after having the 10-week scan knowing that everything was looking great and that the heartbeat was detected. I did not think it was necessary to wait until I was in my 13th week to make it known. Your OBGYN has no say as far as that goes!
12 How Messy The Labor Will Be
If you are having your first pregnancy, and you are nervous about your labor and delivery- that is understandable. That said, you should be focusing on the important stuff about learning about ways to keep yourself as comfortable as possible during labor. You will want to learn about the benefits and cons of having an epidural and so on.
However, you don't really need to know how messy your labor could be since it really is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Therefore, your OBGYN really has no business telling how messy your labor and delivery will be. All that will do is upset you and make you feel even more self-conscious.
You may learn about the possibility that you may get sick during labor or do #2 as well from other sources. If you have taken Lamaze classes, your instructor may have warned you about that possibility. You may start reading birth stories on Facebook, Reddit or on other forums that sounded very messy.
Your OBGYN should only be concerned with how your pregnancy is progressing, the results of tests, and making sure any complications that you may be having are treated properly. Not with how messy your labor and birth can potentially become!
11 Actually, #FedIsBest
You may not know whether you want to breastfeed or bottle feed. This is obviously something that you need to decide before you give birth. And, if you decide you want to breastfeed, you need to be prepared for the possibility that it will not work out and go with formula-feeding. This is a personal choice, and it is up to you to decide how you want to feed your baby. You have to weigh the pros and cons and talk to other moms who have done both.
If your OBGYN strongly pushes you to breastfeed your baby, then that is uncalled for. Even though there are many benefits that come with breastfeeding, in some cases it cannot be done- and no one, especially your OBGYN should push you to do so. Especially if the idea does not make you comfortable.
According to Medscape, Dr. Amy Tuteur, who wrote the book, "Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting published", it brings out a clear message to women that they should not believe any of the misleading claims about breastfeeding, natural childbirth, and attachment parenting. They will only feel like they don't measure up if they believe those claims and that will ruin their confidence. Therefore, an OBGYN has no business telling any expectant mom to choose to breastfeed only because it is best.
10 Contractions Will Be SO Painful
If you are pregnant and you are worried about how painful your contractions will be, that is certainly understandable. It is best to be prepared to all of the surprises that your labor will have in store for you. However, if your OBGYN tells you that your contractions will feel like bad period cramps- then that is something they are not supposed to say!
According to Parents Magazine, there is absolutely no way to predict how contractions will feel.
Every labor is different, and the stages of labor are different as well! It is possible that your contractions can be compared to bad period cramps, but it is also a strong possibility that you will not be able to make that comparison either.
You could end up having most of your pain in your back, or it may feel like gas pains, or you may feel like that your uterus is tightening! The point is, you won't know until you experience that.
And your OBGYN should never flat out tell you that your contractions will feel like awful menstrual cramps because what if in the end it doesn't? Additionally, they should never compare the feeling of contractions to anything else for that matter.
9 And The Contractions Will Continue After Birth
It is worth for pregnant to be aware of the likelihood that they will still have contractions after birth. That is the only way that the uterus will successfully expel the afterbirth, and be on its way to returning to its normal size.
However, if your OBGYN told you to expect the contractions to be extremely painful after you give birth- your doctor is not helping your nerves! After all, isn't too much stress bad for the baby when you are pregnant? Your OBGYN should take that into consideration before telling you to expect the labor to continue on after all of the work is done.
According to BabyCenter, the kind of contractions that you will likely have after you give birth will feel more like intense cramps. There may be a few painful moments here and there within a day or two after giving birth.
However, the truth is you cannot compare the cramps you will have after delivery to the contractions that you will be experiencing during labor. You simply cannot make that comparison at all!. And this is something that your OBGYN should never tell you. What will that accomplish anyway other than scaring you even more?
8 Why You Should Wear Stockings
Even though support hoses is not the prettiest things around, they are a good idea to wear during pregnancy because they can help prevent you from developing varicose veins during your pregnancy. Even if you are pregnant and you don't see any signs of developing those unsightly veins. It is a good idea to wear compression stockings anyway if this is a huge concern that you have.
However, according to What To Expect, your OBGYN should not be telling you this, and many of them won't even bother. Aside from the fact that these stockings are ugly, they are not overly comfortable even though they are effective. That is because in most cases, varicose veins do end up disappearing after pregnancy.
There are situations when they don't which will be discouraging to you. And, if that happens, there are always methods around to remove them and they are not necessarily painful either. It's a situation when you will cross that bridge when you get there.
This is a situation where if you are pregnant and talk to other pregnant women on message boards and compression stockings are mentioned for this reason- you may end up asking your OBGYN how necessary they are to use. Don't expect to get a straight answer if that happens either.
7 Telling You To Avoid The Black Stuff Altogether
If your OBGYN told you that you must avoid drinking coffee altogether during your pregnancy, then that is one thing they had no business saying to you! According to American Pregnancy, it is true that caffeine can cause premature labor and delivery, low birth weight, miscarriages and even birth defects- there is no need to avoid consuming caffeine completely.
If you consume under 200 mg of caffeine a day during your pregnancy, it was stated from the same source that it is safe and will not have any kind of effect on you or your baby.
So if you want to have your morning coffee and a piece of chocolate in the afternoon or evening, that is perfectly safe.
Even though I did not drink coffee during my pregnancies I ate chocolate occasionally. I did limit on how much chocolate I consumed more so because of the sugar, not even so much because of the caffeine. But I had no issues at all as the occasional chocolate treat here and it is perfectly safe.
If you choose to avoid coffee or even chocolate during your pregnancy, that is your decision to make. Your OBGYN should not be telling you to avoid it but should be honest about the safe amount of caffeine to consume instead.
6 Bed Rest Will Cause Complications
It is a known fact that exercise is important and that in order to stay in shape, taking a half-hour brisk walk five days a week will help you achieve that. There is no need to do intense workouts, and you would not want to do that anyway if you are pregnant. You are tired as it is, and it is incredibly strenuous.
However, at the same time, you want to make sure that you are getting some kind of activity in during your pregnancy. At the same token, your OBGYN will certainly make it clear. In fact, if they tell you that if you become a couch potato and that will cause you to have pregnancy complications- that is not something that any OBGYN is supposed to say.
The fact of the matter is that in some cases you will not be able to exercise due to a complication that you are having. According to BabyCenter, under normal circumstances, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that pregnant women get a good least 20 to 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise for most days of the week.
But if you are living a sedentary lifestyle while you are pregnant, even though it is not the healthiest thing to do- you are not guaranteed to suffer from complications either.
5 You Can’t Switch Doctors
Some OBGYNs are good, and others are not, and there are some that are downright awful. And, if any of them tell you that it is too late to switch OBGYNs regardless of how far along you are in your pregnancy- then that is untrue. You actually can change OBGYNs if you are not happy with the one you have.
According to Parents Magazine, an OBGYN from Mount Auburn Ob/Gyn Associates, Inc., in Cincinnati, Dr. John E. White stated that there is absolutely no rule that states that pregnant women cannot change doctors. Yet a the same time, there are challenges that do come with making the switch at any time during the pregnancy. Finding a good OBGYN can be difficult and wait lists can be long.
Additionally, if you find another OBGYN that you meet but still don't get the best vibe, then you may be better off staying with the one you are going to. It is also suggested that women who want to change OBGYNs must examine the reasons for wanting to make such a drastic switch before making the move.
According to the same source, most OBGYNs are not comfortable with taking women that are 32 weeks pregnant or more either. If you want to make a switch, it is best to do it as early as possible in your pregnancy. But never believe an OBGYN who tells you that you cannot see another one!
4 No Food In The Delivery Room
You may be wondering how you will handle being in labor if you suddenly get hungry since your OBGYN may have actually told you that you are not allowed eat during that stressful time! If your OBGYN did tell you that you cannot eat during active labor, then that is false, and they have no business telling you that at all.
In fact, many OBGYNs still hold this belief even though there is proof that eating during active labor is beneficial.
According to Birth Takes A Village, the only truth that this myth about not being allowed to eat during labor holds is that you need to keep away from sugary, fatty, and fried foods. That will make you sick.
However, small portions of foods that are stomach-friendly and light are not only fine to eat- but are recommended. Complex carbohydrates such as whole-grain crackers, graham crackers, and fruits are excellent options for moms that are in active labor. They will end up getting the energy they need to get through that very tough time.
Moms in active labor may be given an IV to help provide them the energy they need. But the fact of the matter is that they need to eat the right foods to help get through it. If your OBGYN tells you that all food is off-limits while you are in active labor- that is wrong.
3 Stop Dying Your Hair
You have probably heard that if you were to dye your hair during your pregnancy, it would be harmful to your baby. And, if your OBGYN tells you this as well, then they are not stating the facts. And if you are surprised to learn this, then be prepared to learn something new today!
According to What To Expect, an OBGYN from Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California, Dr. Sherry Ross is one who is sharing the facts. She stated that using hair coloring as well as other beauty products are not nearly as dangerous during pregnancy as you may have believed. In fact, she said:
When you use hair dye or hair-coloring preparations, a small amount of dye can penetrate the skin of the scalp but there is no harm to a developing baby. Most researchers agree it is unlikely that use of hair products before or during pregnancy would increase the risk of any problems to an unborn baby.
With all that being said, if you are uneasy about the idea of using beauty products or coloring your hair during your pregnancy, you can always do your own research. However, if your OBGYN tells you that it is not safe to color your hair, then that is plain wrong!
2 A Large Baby Is Guaranteed
When you are going through intense pregnancy cravings, you will be tempted to take the term eating for two quite seriously. However, you do have to be careful with how much you do gain, and you should not really have more than 400 calories per day in the second and third trimester unless you are pregnant with multiples.
However, according to WebMD, even though there is a link between large babies and too much weight gain- meaning gaining more than 40 lbs during your pregnancy- if you gain too much weight during your pregnancy, having a large baby is not a guarantee. If your OBGYN has told you that it is, then that statement is false and would have been said to simply scare you. However, they should not really be telling you that at all.
Yes, the odds are higher that you will end up delivering a larger baby if you do gain too much weight, and according to the same source- you have a higher chance of developing gestational diabetes as well. Therefore, instead of your OBGYN telling you that you will have a large baby due to gaining too much weight- they need to let you know the risk is there but it is not written in stone!
1 Pregnancy Stories
As soon as you make the big announcement that you are pregnant, be prepared to listen to pregnancy horror stories from friends and even coworkers. You may hear about your friend's cousin who lost a tooth while going into labor because she was clenching her teeth so tight that one broke off.
Or you may have a friend who could not wait to tell you about how her sister had the worst case of noisy and smelly flatulence during her entire pregnancy that she had to carry around a bottle of Febreeze wherever she went. Additionally, she had to make an effort to let it rip as quietly as possible. There are worse stories as well that you may hear!
Yeah, those stories are frightening and, according to What To Expect, your OBGYN wants to tell you to walk away from those who have the need to tell you those stories and for you to tell them to leave you alone. However, they can't do that either.
They have to be as professional as they can. They may just say to you that every pregnancy is different.
However, if you are pregnant and you are dealing with those who have to share the worst pregnancy stories, you can just take off. You don't need that kind of stress!
Referencs: WhatToExpect.com, AmericanPregnancy.org, TodaysParent.com, NYTimes.com, Parents.com, WebMD.com, BabyCenter.com, https://www.parents.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/labor-support/changing-your-ob-gyn/, HowStuffWorks.com, Medscape.com, BirthTakesAVillage.com