Pregnancy is supposed to be one of the most beautiful periods of our lives. It’s supposed to be a time that we can look back on with fond thoughts and cherish for the rest of time. It’s supposed to be a time when our relationships are at their strongest. It’s supposed to be nine months of bliss. It’s supposed to be a lot of things. Up to 60 percent of all marriages will incur infidelity.
For some women, pregnancy is a much darker time. It’s one that has been tainted with bad memories they can’t quite recover from. It’s a scary period in their life that was unstable, cold and lonely. For the women who are betrayed by their partners when they’re expecting, they look back at pictures of their growing belly and wonder if he was there that day or if he was with someone else.
Most of us have felt the sting of betrayal at one point or another in our lives, though not always with a serious partner that we were preparing to join our life with by bringing another into the world. What happens when a partner cheats and there’s a baby on the way? The pregnancy is going to continue whether the relationship does or not.
How do women who have suffered through this experience go on with their lives being changed in such a drastic and unexpected way? What happens is he doesn’t even want another chance to be a good partner and father? What happens if she’s not willing to give him one?
15 My Husband Left For 3 Days After The Birth Of Our Child
Kristen thought it would be mutually beneficial when she allowed her husband’s cousin’s girlfriend to move into her house. She had a baby and nowhere to go and Kristen needed childcare. It was a win-win situation. It wasn’t until Kristen got pregnant that red flags started waving for her about her husband and their new roommate.
Whenever her husband would leave to go somewhere, the live-in friend would soon follow him. This happened one too many times for Kristen to remain comfortable. Unfortunately, Kristen’s husband would resort to physical abuse when she’d confront him about whether there was something going on with them.
The live-in guest would actually be the one to comfort her afterward. So she stopped suspecting her.
When the day came for their baby to be born, her husband left shortly after the birth and didn’t return for two days. On day three, the other woman actually went away to rehab. Afterward, their marriage improved and her husband seemed to want to fix things, but as soon as the other woman’s stint in rehab was over, he was back to his old tricks.
14 I Got Sick Because Of His Infidelity
Romanewque didn’t see it coming when her boyfriend of two years cheated with a coworker. Initially, she thought maybe she would never had known had he not been asked to resign for harassing the female employee after she tried to end their liaison and he disagreed.
However, when Romanewque found herself pregnant, she also got the news from the doctor that she has chlamydia. Cheating, confirmed.
In true cheater fashion, he blamed her when she confronted him saying she wasn’t paying him enough attention. He seemed angry that he was going to be out of work, but otherwise he wasn’t very regretful about cheating or upset that she found out. At 34 years old, Romanewque never expected to be in the position she found herself in.
What is the right choice when pregnant by someone that has betrayed you? Some would say the baby shouldn’t pay the price for their father’s mistakes. Others would say it wouldn’t be fair to bring them into the world to two parents who aren’t in a stable and loving relationship if it can be helped.
Still some others would note that cheating isn’t the end of relationship if they want to work on it, and that what is not unstable could be turned around — if only for the baby. It’s not an easy choice.
13 He Accused Me Of Cheating, Then Beat Me
Jessie and her then-boyfriend were closer than ever when they got pregnant following the loss of their daughter to SIDS. So it came as quite the shock when he kept breaking up with her while she was expecting and telling her he didn’t want to be with her anymore. But it wasn’t as big of a shock as it was when she discovered he had cheated on her.
Often when a partner cheats, they become paranoid that the other party is doing the same. That’s exactly what happened here.
He would become so paranoid that a random text from a male friend of Jessie’s would send him into a violent rage. When it got to the point that he put his hands on her, something inside of her had to know it was over. She spent hours in labor and delivery that night being examined and monitored. Their encounter had caused her to start bleeding, but fortunately the baby was okay.
She left the hospital later with a cast on her ankle and an injured wrist. Four other girls contacted her down the road letting her know that they too had been sleeping with her boyfriend when she was with him. Today, she’s 32 weeks pregnant and says her self-esteem has taken a major hit. Share your wisdom with her and lift her up in the comments!
12 He Slept With A Coworker
While the initial months of their relationship were great Kelsey and her husband found themselves pregnant quickly. Still, it was happy news. Then his father died and her husband became depressed — often resorting to partying and drinking to numb the pain. He would soon confess to messaging a coworker for naked pictures and flirting with other women.
In the weeks following, the events that transpired would be hard for anyone to stomach. He slept with a coworker one night around the Fourth of July and then married his wife the next day. Some people might write that off as getting it out of his system, but he went and slept with her again the day after wedding his wife. It wouldn’t be the last time.
This story made an unusual turn when their marriage actually came to be improved by his infidelity. It was almost as if having a new baby and a family fight for bonded them together. They both grew up in broken homes and don’t want that for their child. So they’re sticking together, unless he ever makes the same mistake again, she says.
11 He Wasn't Ready To Be A Dad
Jennifer’s story paints a picture of what marriage sometimes looks like after adultery. There is no going back and no way to make it what it once was. She shared:
“My husband and I got married after what a lot of people would call a whirlwind romance. We didn’t know each other very long. Only six months in fact. Our wedding was amazing, but by the time we reached our one year anniversary, everything had changed.”
“I got pregnant unexpectedly a few months after we got married. While we were financially stable and the surprise wasn’t awful given that we were husband and wife, my husband wasn’t ready for it. He wasn’t ready to be a Dad. We had had plans to travel and live out our 20s without kids, which we assumed we would have far down the road."
"When I found out I was pregnant, I was stunned, too, but I was quickly able to accept it and move on. “
“He just couldn’t, and that ultimately resulted in an affair with a coworker. I still struggle with it because I feel like it was partly my fault, but I also know he needs to be held responsible for his choices, and I have a lot of trouble trusting him. Having found out just weeks before I was due, I couldn’t bear the idea of leaving him. Our daughter is two now and our marriage is far from what I thought it would be.”
10 He Wanted An Open Relationship When I Was 8 Mos Pregnant
A little backstory: this couple once had an open relationship, but they didn’t anymore when hubby decided to cheat while on a vacation without his wife — who was at home and eight months pregnant. Suddenly, he wanted that open relationship again and suggested they assess the situation after their baby is closer to a year old.
However, he made it clear that if that wasn’t what she wanted, he would want a divorce. Way to force his hand, huh?
She felt too embarrassed to talk to her own friends about what has happened. She feels certain they’ll ridicule her for ever allowing the open relationship in the past and will simply tell her she knew what she was getting into by marrying him. As her husband tries to brush it under the rug and move forward like nothing ever happened, she’s still hurt and confused about what she wants.
Much like many other women who find themselves in unhappy marriages, she struggled with the thought of single parenthood. It sounded hard, but would it be harder than being married to someone who doesn’t love and respect you? It sounded like she would be financially strapped, but does single motherhood automatically mean he’s free of responsibility?
Only other women who’ve had to make this choice could possibly understand how hard it is to pull the trigger.
9 I Caught Him Cheating On The Security Camera
After eight years together, infidelity was the last thing thwah saw coming. This couple was so close that they even worked together, and that may have come back to bite them after her husband cheated with a coworker. The evidence of his affair was caught on the security cameras at work and many of the other employees knew about it before thwah did. Humiliating much?
Thwah wasn’t pregnant when he had the affair. Instead, it was the other woman — who was trying to conceive with her husband — that ended up pregnant. Her husband and his fling both swear they used protection, but they aren’t exactly the most trustworthy people and protection isn’t a surefire thing, either. So for now, they don’t know whose baby it is.
Her husband seemed to get over the affair quickly. How convenient for him. He blamed his mother’s death and his depression over it for why he stepped out of the marriage. It was interested to read Thwah’s words as she noted while he was a good Dad, she wasn’t in love anymore, didn’t make much money, and didn’t want to be a single mom. Perhaps she’s holding on for the wrong reasons?
8 He Cheated On A Business Trip
When a lazy Saturday morning turned sour after her husband confessed to getting drunk on a business trip and cheating Bronzedbirds wasn’t sure how to proceed in a marriage that was seemingly perfect a few minutes before with a baby on the way. At 29 weeks pregnant this isn’t what she was expecting.
After a rocky first trimester, she was happy to be doing better and now she found herself unable to eat or drink and in shock from what he’d told her. She fled to her sister’s house for a few days to try to make sense of the life he had just turned upside down. All she knew the immediate future held was that she needed to get tested for the safety of herself and her baby.
Her sister was insistent that one time was a mistake and they could work through it. They’d just bought their first house and their baby would be here in just a few months. Still, her best friend was telling her no way and that cheating is always a deal breaker. Is it? Can people bounce back from this? Probably, but it’ll never be the same, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be worse, either.
7 My Husband Cheated And Verbally Abused Me
While they were both in their early twenties, their marriage was supposed to be solid. They had a child and another on the way. This story might resonate with some of you, because it tells the tale of adultery in the military — a common issue for service members and their spouses. It was his idea to get pregnant again, and yet when she was six months along, he slept with someone else.
By the time their newest baby was six months old, he was at it again messaging other women. But this wasn’t the worst that this husband had to offer his wife. This marriage included regular verbal abuse. She was lazy. Working, going to college and raising two children wasn’t enough.
He wanted the house clean every day and both kids in bed by the time he came home at 5:30. He wasn’t interested in spending time with them.
He told his wife how unattractive she was. Everything she did was wrong. Despite his hurtful remarks, infidelity and even a brief attempt to divorce and abandon her, she thought the relationship might be salvageable through counseling.
But is it worth it? At what point is enough really enough, and what kind of self-esteem must someone be lacking to think they aren’t worth more?
6 He Started A Relationship With A Married Woman
When her husband landed a new job that came with a boosted salary and overseas travel, Heartbrokenwife11 was elated for him. At 12 weeks pregnant she knew this would help them prepare for the little one that they tried so hard to have. During his first jaunt over the pond, everything seemed fine. They communicated regularly.
Although he would come to mention meeting a female that he had breakfast with while he was gone, Heartbrokenwife11 blamed paranoia for her sneaking suspicion and ignored her instincts. But the nagging feeling she had that something was off just wouldn’t die.
She logged into his email account and discovered nude photos of a woman she’d never seen before and an email confirming he’d set up a new email address where he’d been messaging her.
He broke down and apologized when she confronted him, and his messages with this woman seemed to confirm his story that they’d only kissed and flirted. Still, he was making plans to see her again when he returned on his next trip. He blamed part of the problem on alcohol and set up a therapy session to tackle this issue he admitted to having, but is it a cop out?
Instead of letting fury take over Heartbrokenwife11 was ashamed to even tell her family what he had done. She was embarrassed. The other woman was also married and she knew he was, too. While it was tempting to reach out to her for her side of the story, she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear that. She reached out to strangers online for advice asking, “Is there any recovering from this?”
5 I Cheated And I Hold The Guilt Inside
A father’s confession, in his words:
“My wife and I fought quite a lot during her pregnancy, especially in the last trimester. She was very hormonal and no matter what I did, I was wrong. I admit, I wasn't perfect and I should have been much more patient with her. But I was doing the best I could to provide for her and take care of her but she wanted to start a fight about every little thing. It led to us becoming somewhat distanced from one another.”
“That is why, one night after work, I went to a bar instead of going home. I just wanted to have one night where I could have a drink, alone, in relative silence. That is, until this girl came in and sat next to me. My judgement was impaired and we ended up going back to her place. It was just intimacy, no emotional connection or anything like that. She meant nothing to me.”
To this day, he hasn’t told his wife the truth. He wanted to at first, but felt like it would be selfish and only beneficial to himself to relieve some guilt. So he’s kept it inside where it sickens him to think about it. He didn’t want her to push him away and watch her go through pregnancy and birth without his support.
Today their daughter is a year old and his wife still doesn’t know about what he calls his “biggest regret”.
4 I Cheated And Got Pregnant
It’s probably Louise’s biggest regret, being the adulterer. This is what she had to say about it:
“My story might not be ideal or like many of the others you’ve heard. That’s because I wasn’t cheated on while pregnant. Instead, I was doing the cheating and got pregnant. I want to say it was shocking and life-altering, because it was. But I also wasn’t using protection and having an ongoing affair with another man. So some might say I got what I deserved. When playing with fire…”
“The hardest part was having to tell my husband, who I had been trying to have a baby with, that I was not only cheating on him but having a baby that wasn’t his. I entertained the idea of abortion for maybe a week, but it just wasn’t in me to do something like that. What should’ve been most surprising to me was that it was in me to cheat on my husband.”
“The details of why I did it don’t really matter. I did it. We’re still together because he saw the opportunity to build something great overtop of the crumbling foundation that was our marriage. I couldn’t even see it back then, but he did. He was right, and I get to spend every day now reminding myself how lucky I am that he not only continued to love me, but loves our child, who only knows him as Dad.”
3 He Cheated Because He Wanted Out
Alison’s words just might be a reality check for some of you:
“My story isn’t an uncommon one. I got married young and he was, too. I thought I knew what I was doing marrying my high school sweetheart. It wasn’t even six months before I found out he was cheating. The worst part wasn’t just the betrayal, but that he wasn’t even sorry and that I was very pregnant. The story didn’t end the way you would think with him pleading for my forgiveness."
"Instead, he was relieved that I found out because he had been trying to find a way to tell me he wanted out. We hadn’t even been married for a whole year yet and he wanted to quit so he could be with someone else. That was a year and a half ago, we're still in the process of divorcing now. Our entire relationship has been reduced to deciding who gets what and custody arrangements."
"I wish I could say I’m not bitter and have learned something from this process, but I am still hoping that will come with time. For now, I am grateful that my baby is too young to understand what’s going on. But it saddens me that he will never remember a time when his parents were together and in love. I wish I could forget.”
2 He Slept With The Neighbor
Julie learned some valuable lessons — the hard way. This is her story:
“In reflection, I should’ve left long before I ever got pregnant. While we may have been together for more than a year, we were only living together for a few months before my other half was sleeping with the neighbor. I couldn’t see it then, but he wasn’t ashamed of his behavior. He was hanging out with two females from our building in the parking lot every night instead of spending time with me.”
“I needed a wake-up call and one was coming. He was a coward who couldn’t even come forward and tell me himself that he cheated. It was the other woman’s roommate — who barely knew me — that told me, after kicking her roommate out because she didn’t agree with it. He wasn’t even enough of a human being to admit it when I confronted him.”
“Young, naïve — and I’ll even say stupid — I married him anyway six months later, quite possibly with urgency because just two days after I found out about him cheating, I discovered I was pregnant."
"Nonetheless, we make choices in life that we have to live with and I have learned enough from mine that even when he cheated on me again later when I was 7 months pregnant, I wouldn’t come to regret those choices. They’ve led me to where I am today, which isn’t with him by the way.”
1 His Cheating Caused Me To Abort The Baby
Luvis2dye knew that her relationship was on shaky ground when she found out she was pregnant. Soon after moving in together, she would come to find him lurking around on Whisper and seeking gay men in his city.
He dismissed it as bisexual curiosity and said it never went anywhere. He was also caught meeting up with a female he met on the app who he said he was interested in smoking marijuana with. He insisted nothing happened between them.
He would have many excuses for his actions in the weeks and months to come. Such as saying he messaged his exes asking for another shot and saying he missed them only because Luvis2dye wasn’t home and he was lonely. See how he shifted the blamed from himself to her there?
The turmoil he put her through during pregnancy was enough that she ended up leaving — and getting an abortion. Feeling that she couldn’t bear to be tied to someone who hurt her so badly, she feels it was the right choice to make. In the process, she got testing for STDs and found out he had given her a permanent one. So much for him being faithful.