For those that haven't discovered the anonymous social media app known as Whisper, it is a place where anybody and everybody can go to share their deepest confessions, funny stories, and everything else under the sun. It's almost like a public diary. We can say it, get it out, and other people can read it without knowing it's us.
Being a parent is a wonderful experience, but even as parents we endure our fair share of heartbreak. We still have to manage relationships, dating, and/or a marriage. Our children can add a level of difficulty to all of that.
We now have other people to worry about. We must think of them when we make our relationship decisions especially concerning divorce, custody, and who we choose to bring into their lives.
As a parent, we are responsible for another human being(s). That means our decisions impact them and so do the consequences of these decisions. We have to think of that when we make them and factor them into that equation.
We all want what's best for our children in the end. It doesn't mean making those tough decisions won't hurt us though. We sacrifice for our kids all of the time because we love them that much.
The holiday season is a time of great joy, but it's also a time of great sadness. As parents, we must put our children first and try to make the holidays as happy for them as possible. Due to custody situations and family dynamics, we may feel lonesome and sad because we may not see our children for the holidays.
Here are 14 of the most heart breaking Whisper Confessions we found this season.
14 My Son Won't Spend Christmas With Me
The holiday season is one we often associate with joy, but for all that is hardly the case. In families of divorce or shared custody, it is inevitable that one parent will be without the kids on Christmas. It's even worse when such children are deciding what parent they want to and will spend the holidays with.
It is enough to make any parent doubtful of themselves and incredibly lonely. We justify our children's actions unfortunately by blaming ourselves. We feel that we must have done something wrong if they do not want to spend the holidays with us.
This is extremely difficult and heartbreaking for any mom to deal with. We have to learn to cope with the fact that we won't see our children at every holiday or occasion sometimes because of split custody or scheduling issues. It just hurts A LOT when it's our child's choice.
13 I Gave My Kids Up, And I Regret It Now
During the holidays it is common for us to grieve those we have lost. It is especially hard when those we have lost were our children and babies. It leaves us wondering about a lot of "what if"s. All of this wondering and questioning can make us really sad during the holidays as we dream about what could've been. It's normal. It's part of grieving.
Losing a baby is never easy. It is an unimaginable pain. It also leaves us wondering about what kind of parents we would be. It leaves us to image what kind of people are children would have grown up to be. What would we do together? What traditions would we have? How would they fit in with our family?
We are left feeling alone and helpless when we lose a child. As parents, we want to love and protect our children, but there are some times that things are just out of our control. The loss of a child is something that we have to live with because we have other children, jobs, and lives that must go on.
12 I'd Choose The Kids Over Him In A Heartbeat
There are many reasons a relationship as a single mother might not work out. Unfortunately not everyone is going to want to have a child or take on someone else's and be in his or her life. That can be a huge roadblock as a single mother when trying to date.
We may encounter single dads whose children just don't mix well with our own which will only complicate the relationship.
There are also situations where our child's father just isn't ready or doesn't want to be a father. We shouldn't let that stop us from loving our children and becoming mothers if that's what we want to do. It has become a rather common and apparent thing that a woman can raise a child all by herself.
That means there is no reason why we can't love our baby just because some guy wasn't ready to step up and be a father. It just wasn't meant to be. If a man can't accept that and isn't interested in being in his own child's life, it's really his loss.
11 My Baby Came From A Sperm Bank
Today there are many different ways to start a family and to have a baby. It's wonderful and provides people with so many different options and opportunities to create a family. However, there are some people who aren't used to these new ways just yet and reject them.
Families can be made out of wedlock, through IVF, and through adoption, and they are all the same a family as the traditional ideal of family. While there are definitely some generations who don't necessarily believe these means constitute a family, they very much do.
As a parent, it is heartbreaking and incredibly difficult to hear that someone disagrees with your family. We don't want to disappoint our parents or family members on how we started our families, and that isn't something we should even have to worry about.
We don't want these feelings to be passed on to our children. We never ever want them to feel like they are less a part of the family or are in any way undeserved or unworthy of love. This is a heartbreaking realization for a parent when we find out how our own family members and parents feel about our children.
10 My Adopted Son Doesn't Know His Parents Are Addicts
Adoption is a wonderful gift for both parents who are unable to conceive or simply want to adopt, and children who need parents to care for them. As a child of adoption, we feel that our parents are the people who raised us, but that doesn't mean we don't wonder about where we came from.
While they people who "birthed" us for lack of a better term still may play a role in who we are as a person, that doesn't necessarily make them our parents. On the other hand, almost every child who has been adopted wonders where he or she came from.
Sometimes we need to know where we came from in order to better shape our futures and stay away from things like addiction or too much bacon if there were hereditary instances.
In some cases, it may be best to tell our children the truth about their birth parents as much as it may kill us. It can be heartbreaking to tell our children about any awful or harmful circumstances that brought them into our lives, if there were any.
9 One Last Christmas Before Going To Jail
We are parents. We surely aren't perfect. We make mistakes, but when we're responsible for other human beings sometimes our mistakes can affect them as well. As a parent, our actions have greater consequences than they did when we were only responsible for ourselves. Our actions affect our children.
It's heartbreaking when we lose our children for any reason. It's awful that we cannot see them every single day and ask, "How was your day?" We miss them awfully, and it can be easy to feel like we are letting them down by not being able to be around.
Since our actions affect our children, we must think of them when we make our decisions. It is no longer just about how the consequences will affect us, but how they will affect our children. We want the best for them.
8 Am I Staying Just For The Kids Sake?
This is one of the saddest confessions. It is heartbreaking to feel like we have to stay in a marriage. That is no way to have a family, but unfortunately that is the way some families are.
As heartbreaking as it is to be that mom and that wife, it is heartbreaking for our children. We don't want to grow to resent them, and we surely don't want them to feel that pressure. That is also not the impression we want to give them of what marriage is or how a family should be.
Unfortunately as a parent and an adult, we are all too familiar with feeling trapped by our responsibilities and obligations. Mortgages, car payments, and children are all things that "tie us down." On the flip side, they also give us a family, a home, and safe mode of transportation.
7 I Think My SO Might Be A Psycho
Trust is key to a successful marriage. Today, we live in a society where many people don't trust their significant others. All of our technology makes it easy to be untrusting and untrustworthy.
Not only does social media create a great deal of trust issues in many modern relationships, it also gives many people an easy way to dig into our significant other's life both past and present.
It only takes a couple of clicks before we find ourselves three years deep in a Facebook page or risk 'liking' a 100 week old Instagram post. *Insert nervous cringe.* We've all been there.
Public record has been around for ages. Speeding tickets, arrests, divorce files, etc. have all been public record. Now with the internet and availability of computers, we can and do actually access these records from our living rooms with a glass of wine.
It has become a first step before going on a first date or getting into a relationship. It isn't necessarily a bad thing because we should know about the people we get involved with and can also protect us from some not so good people. However we are all only human.
Digging too deep through a bunch of court documents doesn't give us the whole story so we should be cautious and give our loved ones the benefit of the doubt in some cases to explain.
6 The Holidays Aren't Always So Great
While many of us associate the holiday season with great joy and happiness, that is not the case for others. For some of us, the holiday season is a time of great loneliness and actually a time when mental illness issues rise. As parents, there are many reasons we may be lonely during the holidays.
We may be single parents who miss our own families that live far away. We may be lonesome after a fresh divorce or breakup. We may also be spending the holidays without our children.
It is heartbreaking to feel lonesome or sad during this season because there are a great deal of people who don't understand. There are also those who feel that mental illness isn't a big deal. Mental illness does not take a holiday and go away because of the season.
Our family circumstances do affect our feelings towards the holidays.
5 I Realized I Wanted A Divorce
Many of us refer to our husbands as our second, third, fourth, etc. child on a regular basis. They don't pick up their socks. They are the whiniest sick people. They can never find anything when it's usually right in front of them. *Insert understanding eye roll here, please.* It's a tale we wives know all too well.
At some point, it stops being slightly annoying and mildly funny and actually becomes an issue in our marriages and families. We need a man not a full grown child. No woman wants to play "mommy" to the man she married especially when we have actual children that need us.
At some point we have to put our foot down and know that enough is enough.
Unfortunately, it's a tough choice that we may have to make. Some men aren't willing to grow up and act like it. As parents, we want our children to have a strong male role model not learn to be oversized kids.
4 Putting The Kids First
Single parents are incredibly selfless people. There isn't a whole lot of free time involved and the role of parenting is a significant one to tackle alone. We do it anyways because we love our children.
One difficulty with being a single parent is how we handle dating when we already have children. They surely add a complication to that situation. We obviously keep our children in mind when we consider the people we'll be bringing into their lives. We don't want to confuse them.
We also don't want them to become attached to people who won't stay. It's a difficult and confusing situation for everyone involved.
As a single parent, there will never be a "perfect" time to date. Is there ever really a perfect time to date in any circumstance? We often sacrifice our own happiness and relationships in order to make things better for our children. While it can really suck to be lonely, we do these things in the best interest of our children.
3 Deadbeat Dad Heart Ache
Unfortunately, many of us are all too familiar with the term dead beat dad. There are people who leave their children behind and never see who they grow up to be. As the parent who stays, it's difficult because we see the amazing human beings our children grow up to be.
Curiosity is natural. We would be curious about our children if they weren't in our lives all of the time. We'd wonder who they are and what they like. We'd be curious about what they inherited from us. Does she like me? Does she have my eyes? It's normal to think they'd wonder the same things; although, we'll probably never know.
Unless he miraculously comes around, which some fathers do, he isn't going to ask about the person our daughter has become. He simply won't know. He won't know she grew up to fall in love, become a wonderful mother, and live happily ever after.
He won't know that she grew up to be a successful lawyer. He won't know what her favorite foods are or what movies make her laugh. It's sad, but it's more sad that he won't know the wonderful person she'll grow up to be.
2 A Girlfriend's Jealousy Ruins A Friendship
While our relationships may fade, we may still share a common bond. Often times, shared children is one of the strongest bonds between exes. We try to keep traditions and stability. These things may change when new partners come into the relationship.
Unfortunately, the loss of a child is something that bonds people for a lifetime. It's a shared heartbreak that we rely on one another to get through. While a relationship may no longer be romantic, these traditions are often continued out of comfort.
We keep them because there aren't other people who understand the pain and situation quite like the one who went through it with us.
A new partner ending such a tradition is quite a heartbreaking tragedy. It can mess with our ability to grieve because it directly impacts one of the ways we cope. It is sad that we let new relationships influence such a sad common bond.
1 My Daughter's School Anxiety Breaks My Heart
Seeing our children upset and in pain is an gut wrenching awful feeling. We hate to see them struggle, and we definitely don't want to see them fail. It's even worse if they're really trying. Unfortunately there are limits to how much we can help our children when it comes to their education.
We can provide them with all of the help and opportunities in the world, but that doesn't mean it will click for them.
Sometimes the traditional school setting just doesn't work for some kids. It is happening more and more these days it seems like. Some families do better in homeschool because we are able to provide our children with more one-on-one attention. We are better able to understand how they learn and teach things to them that way.
We want our children to be happy and successful. It is heartbreaking to see how upset they are when they aren't. It's difficult to watch them struggle. It's awful to see them worry about school, classes, and learning concepts that as hard as they try they just don't understand.