Funny Tweets are not easy to write, and only a few lucky people have the skill to compose them. Squeezing something about the parenting experience into 140 characters and making people laugh at the same time takes it to another level.

Me, I suck at it. Trying to say anything within the confines of Twitter’s character count is a herculean challenge for me, and being funny at the same time? Forget it.

Fortunately for us all, saucy superstar, and father of two, Ryan Reynolds periodically turns his natural wit to the kingdom of the little blue bird. He treats us to nuggets of parental humor brilliant enough to make you forget you have spit-up on your tee-shirt and poop on your jeans.

Of course, I may be a little biased, living in Vancouver, where Ryan Reynold’s was born and raised but I am not the only person who believes the RIPD star is absolutely fabulous. People Magazine declared him the ‘Sexiest Dad Alive’ in December 2016 after having previously named him the sexiest man alive in 2010. Not to mention the fact that my husband and sons are pretty huge Ryan Reynolds fans, too.

Even our youngest daughter is a fan and asked if, because I was writing a piece about Ryan Reynolds, if that mean Deadpool would come and visit us. We had a discussion about how the world works, and she took it quite well for an eight-going-on-twenty-eight-year-old. I told her she would have to make do with reading highlights of Ryan Reynolds’s Twitter feed on mom’s computer. So for our youngest daughter, Evey, and everyone else who wishes the Reynolds / Lively family might pop round for a play date, here are 15 of the new King of Twitter’s best Tweets about parenting. Enjoy.

14 Can You Keep A Secret?

Reynolds and his wife, Blake Lively, met on the set of Green Lantern in 2010 and married in 2012. Since their daughters, James and Ines, arrived the couple has been even more private than usual.

Known for their desire to, understandably, keep their private life private, the couple have forsaken the well-trodden road of their fellow celebrities who like to share TMI, choosing instead to enjoy their life together without sharing every poop filled diaper on Instagram.

Therefore it is entirely feasible that if anyone could keep an entire family in Denmark that nobody knows about it would be the man who can keep his kids out of the limelight in a city renowned for its showy publicity-hungry residents.

In fact, we have only seen the newest addition to the family, little Miss Ines, once and that was at Reynolds's Hollywood Walk of Fame Induction ceremony, and you can’t blame dad for wanting to share such a special moment with the women in his life.

13 Every Parent Ever

We have all had that day. The one that starts off like the worst, most exhausting day you have ever had and goes downhill from there. You've had two hours of broken sleep, you're drinking cold coffee and eating limp toast that you made three hours ago, and you are covered in a variety of bodily fluids, none of which are yours.

In fact, I have often thought that if filmmakers wanted to make a movie that is a pure expression of hopelessness and despair, they should just place cameras in the homes of new parents and record them as they pace the floor at three in the morning with a screaming newborn.

There can be few feelings as diverse and powerful as those you experience when you look at this gorgeous, tiny, unique human being that you have created, your heart swelling with love and think “Please just shut the f*ck up.” 

Reynolds sums it up perfectly in this Tweet.

12 On Giving In

You may only have a baby for a short time, but you will be a parent forever, and as such your concerns never go away, they just change shape. Before you know it, you will no longer be worrying about sleeping positions and feed volume. Instead, you’ll be explaining why they can’t have the keys to the car or how come they have to be home by ten when all of their friends can stay out until eleven.

Remember, you are the parent, and they are the child and the nature of this relationship demands that you set boundaries, stand firm and stick to your guns. Unless you want your kids to like you more than your partner, in that case, you give them exactly what your other half wouldn’t and sit back to bask in all of that adoration. I’m sure they’ll grow up well balanced, kind individuals. Maybe.

11 Dressing Baby

The reason why the market for baby clothes is so huge is that it is fun to dress up your child. It’s like having the best doll ever, the one you didn’t get when you were little except this one pees and poops way too much.

More or less everyone loves to dress up their baby, but few people like to be inundated with social media updates and photos of each and every outfit with captions so saccharine you can taste the sugar.

Ryan Reynolds captures this dilemma perfectly. My only problem with this Tweet is that having had Evey read it over my shoulder just now, and she is convinced one of the Lively / Reynolds babies absolutely has to be a baby Deadpool. Not only that but she is asking where she could get a black leather mask for one of her dolls, next it will be a full Deadpool outfit.

10 The Horrors Of Frozen We All Must Face

To every parent who has ever found themselves singing the theme tune to Dora the Explorer while they were in the car alone. For every one of you out there who has tried to get an uninterested toddler to watch a new movie instead of the one they have memorized from 487 continuous viewings. In consideration of the moms and dads everywhere who know each and every line to Frozen, can sing all of the songs, and have had to drink pretend tea from an Olaf tea set.

Please know that you are not alone. We all feel your pain. Just hang onto the fact that in a few years time this will have passed, although, I must admit that sometimes, in the early hours of the morning when I can’t sleep, the theme tune to “Thomas The Tank Engine” still spirals around my brain. Our oldest son is 21.

This one is for you.

9 Pretentions

We spend countless hours trying to get our little ones to talk. Staring into their eyes with an exaggerated stupid grin on our faces, bobbing our heads up and down asking them to “say mommy” or “say daddy”, it suddenly becomes an important cornerstone of the day.

Of course, one of your friends has a kid who can already recite the entire works of Shakespeare and their baby is the same age as yours so that competitive parenting spirit comes into play and it becomes desperate that your child said something. Anything at all so that you can tell everyone they spoke.

Just know that the novelty of this incredible achievement wears off really quickly. A couple of months later and you find yourself hiding in the bathroom because they won’t shut up and before you know it they have a better vocabulary than you do. I know you’re supposed to want your children to become better people than you, but they don’t have to make you feel stupid while they’re at it.

8 Letting Go As They Grow

The definition of paradox should be: Looking forward to dropping your child off at their grandparents and leaving them for the first time so you and your partner can go out to dinner on your own. Then both of you deciding you don’t want to leave your little one for that long, grabbing a very quick coffee to go and turning up at granny's house only 15 minutes after you left.

Nobody is immune to the abject fear and terror that is leaving your baby with somebody else, and Reynolds Tweet sums it up perfectly, even if he didn’t, as I suspect, actually drop her off at Burning Man. I mean, really, that would totally mess with her sleep routine, and once you have that set, you don’t mess with it for anything, not even a glorious desert festival In Nevada. Perhaps he should start a Burning Toddler festival, although that could be misinterpreted so maybe not.

7 Every Baby Is A Genius

While Reynolds has been very vocal about how much he loves fatherhood, he’s careful not to sound like he invented being a dad. “I always laugh because celebrities, you know, you always cringe when you hear them talk about their kids,” he told People magazine.

“They literally talk about like, ‘My child is the only one who has ever exited a womb ever!’ And you’re just like well, a lot of people have done this,” he added. “So you always want to temper it with a bit of self-effacement, but I love it. I truly worship that kid.”

He does, however, manage to write the perfect tongue in cheek Tweet dissing every parent who thinks their kid is a child prodigy who is the next Mozart, Picasso, or Bob Dylan.

Don't worry; there'll be plenty of opportunities in the future to be forced to put crappy macaroni pictures on the fridge.

6 Making Meaningful Crafts

It isn't written specifically, but I imagine the happy couple sitting around on the sofa one evening and deciding to make a mobile for the baby that actually reflects how they feel about her. They search the internet for instructions and print them out.

Next, there comes a frantic search around the house for some wooden dowels, a glue gun, some cute colored twine and some small but colorful plastic and rubber toys for baby to look at from the crib.

The slightly dispirited couple return to the sofa and dump the spoils of their search on the coffee table: coat hangers, kitchen twine, sticky tape, and NuvaRings. They do, however, make the most of it and create a mobile anyway.

That is just how it happened. In my head.

5 Making Good Parenting Choices

This Tweet sparked a bizarre debate in our house. The older boys were arguing about whether or not, if you tattooed a baby, the tattoo would look the same when the baby was older. One theory being the tat would stretch out and would no longer look like anything, the other being it would look the same but little. Instead of going across the entire lower back it would just look like a small puff of ink escaping from the top of the bum crack.

These are the conversations you have with your children when some of them reach their late teens and early twenties. Or maybe that's just us?

Either way, the conversation with our youngest daughter was worse. Why? Because she described in great detail, the colorful dragon tattoo she wanted to go from her wrist, all the way up to and across her shoulder. Apparently, it's what all the eight-year-olds are doing these days.

4 It's Important To Read To Baby

When you are on a plane with a screaming baby remember one thing. At the end of the flight, you get to disembark the plane and go home to a house without screaming babies. Those parents have to take the hideous screaming little bundle of poo and vomit back with them and listen to it for the next two years. Who has the biggest problem now eh?

It probably started for them before they even got through security. Like the time our, then eighteen-month-old son, threw up all over my husband just after we had checked our baggage. He had to go into one of the gift shops in Vancouver Airport buy a new coat, pants, and tee-shirt, all of which were resplendent with "VANCOUVER" and "CANADA." Then he changed in the washrooms and spent an eleven-hour flight to London smelling vaguely of vomit and looking like an extra from National Lampoon.

3 Don't Buy Movie Tie-In Merchandise

This is a lesson you learn pretty quickly, don't buy movie merchandise unless you want to be broke disappointed and slightly annoyed that you got sucked into buying it in the first place. Especially after last time when you bought that other book, the one that made the annoying noises and then fell apart after two weeks. Or that Tee-shirt that looked so cute on the hanger in the store but after one wash it looks like a motorbike cover.

None of this applies to merchandise associated with any project to do with Ryan Reynolds or Blake Lively of course. Anything you buy from one of their movies is going to change your life for the better the instant you get it home.

Also, don't bother buying your children coloring books. They are rubbish at staying in the lines, and it's incredibly irritating having to watch them ruin everything.

2 The Parenting Instinct Runs Deep

We have all declared that we would do anything for our kids at one point or another. It is all very well to say you would die for them because let's face it, that situation is unlikely to come up, so you are probably safe.

The real test of parenting is having to do the mundane stuff for your child that, if you were honest, you would rather poke sharpened sticks in your eyes than have to do.

Tell me you will do anything for your child when you have just spent three hours making a huge family meal, and they declare they don't like it and could you make them something else please? Or how about when you want to curl up quietly with a good book and junior comes bouncing in and begs you to play Candy Land and you can't even play to win.

They are the real parenting tests but don't worry, kids asking you to do things you really don't want to only happens until you are dead, then you'll get some peace.

1 We All Share The Same Feelings

Nothing is as reassuring than finding out everyone else feels just like you do. Yes you love your child with all of your heart and being a parent is fantastic but sometimes it is OK to have a flight of fancy where you are speeding down the road in your first car, worry free and unaware of the looming responsibilities in your future.

Just because sometimes you dream of staying up all night 'cause you want to party instead of being forced to pace the floor all night with a crying infant does not make you a bad person. It does not make you a bad parent. It makes you a normal person and that is why Ryan Reynolds' Tweets strike such a funny note. They are relatable and they are from one parent making it up as they go along and doing the best they can, just like you.