There’s absolutely no denying it: Being a parent is still one of the toughest jobs in the world, and the direction in which things are headed, it doesn’t seem likely that this job will get any easier. Not only does a parent have to be completely in charge of another life, they have to monitor each and every move of the baby till it grows up...and even then the duties of parents simply don’t stop!
Raising children is indeed a stressful job, especially in today’s time where knowledge (good or bad) is available instantly at the click of a button. Children are becoming smarter and smarter, making it that much difficult for parents to ascertain whether their children are going down the right path, or the paths of ruin.
There won’t be a single parent in the world who will deny that raising children was the toughest and most difficult job that they had to do. Add to it the fact that children immediately change the dynamics between a couple (for some couples in a negative manner), makes their social lives come to a standstill and affects their overall emotional wellbeing as well.
And yet, society would have us believe that giving birth to a “miracle” and being a parent is one of the most honorable and respect worthy things to do today.
Which is exactly why society looks down on parents who vent about their children, because how could those little angels possibly be that bad, right? That’s not what parents are supposed to say about their children – they’re never allowed to vent. They’re supposed to wallow in loneliness.
But, no more! Here are 14 parents who openly confessed the fact that they regretted being parents. For the sakes of their privacy, their names have been kept completely anonymous.
14 I Purposely Stopped Taking Birth Control At 16
Rachel told her story about being young and naive.
"I was 16, young and stupid. I thought I should marry the first guy I was intimate with. Because I had this fantasy idea in my head that the one I lose my virginity to, would be the one that I would grow old with. So I deliberately stopped taking my birth control, and my boyfriend at the time obviously had no choice but to help me raise the baby."
"At 18, we got married and it’s been 5 years since, and oh boy do I regret being that stupid."
"I thought having a child would bring us closer, but it only created a bigger void between us. He’s a “barely there” father – he does the minimum that society requires of fathers to do for their children. The rest is up to me, including working and paying for every expense in the house."
"I don’t know what it is to be young and wild, and I’ll never get to experience that part of my life. I wish I hadn’t been in such a hurry to get pregnant.”
13 I Regret Putting My Career On Hold
Kelly describes how her dreams of the perfect family fell apart.
"I liked being a workaholic – it was all that I had known for a long time. I was severely ambitious, till I fell in love. Work took a backseat, and the only thing that I wanted was to have a family with the guy I loved."
"We talked about it, realized both of us wanted a small family, and 6 months later, we were married (stupid, I know). But I was 25, he was my first love and it seemed perfect at the time. I continued working and continued being a happy wife. But then my pregnancy happened. It was the worst time of my life, or so I thought. The delivery was equally painful, and so was recuperating."
"And on top of it all, I had to QUIT my job just to take care of my child. Me, the workaholic. My peers and colleagues have all been promoted to wonderful positions, most of which lead in international travel. And then there’s me, covered in baby goop."
12 We Had A Baby To Improve Our Relationship
Lisa talks about how her vision of what life would be like with her husband and child did not meet her expectations.
"My husband was in the Navy and he stayed away from home as much as 8 months at a time. It was okay in the beginning, but it caused fractures in our relationship later on. Then, like most couples, we decided to have a baby, thinking that it would fix all our problems. Boy, were we wrong."
"Because my husband was away almost all the time, I had to take care of everything myself. I was literally as hard pressed as a single mom, except I was married. Now I know it’s nobody’s fault that the baby was born – it was a mutual decision. But I don’t know why I even agreed to it."
"I mean, I KNEW it would be me all alone taking care of the baby, but I guess I was so desperate for our marriage to work that I was willing to go the extra mile. It definitely didn’t work out for me. I was better off without a baby who ruined my social life and my sleep cycle."
11 My Partner Wanted A Baby, I Didn't
Nick says that his life was turned upsidedown when he felt his partner compelled him to have a baby with her.
"I’ve always been an introvert, and never once have I regretted being one. I love being alone, burying my head in books or spending hours and hours on Netflix. I LOVE peace and quiet. My partner is the same, which is why we hit it off in the first place. But everything changed when she decided to have a baby."
"I was against it, but she said she wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone she has no future (read: children) with, so I relented. And it was the biggest regret of my life."
"Ever since the baby’s arrived, there has been utter chaos in the house. I hardly have any time to myself, and I can forget about sleeping in. Things are worse for me at work since I work from home, my baby always manages to drop by during my work hours in my room. I’ve been slacking because of this and I fear I might be fired soon. I'm stuck in a situation I don't want to be in."
10 Being A Single Father Makes Me Regret My Kids
Connor confessed that his children's temperament makes him regret fatherhood some days.
"I’m a 25 year old father of three very young and very naughty children. Now don’t get me wrong – I love them to death, but if given a choice, I would have definitely had children after 35, if at all."
"Their mother died soon after the birth of our second boy, after which I've been alone. And my life is full of food on my clothes, crying, fighting, arguments...you name it. Then there’s the headache of dropping them off and picking them up from school."
"My life revolves around my children, and had I had a partner, things would have been great. But women aren’t too keen to date a widower with 2 children. My life’s hanging by a thread and not a day goes by when I imagine a life without my children. Am I bad dad? I hope not!"
9 My Baby Turned Me Into A Lonely Hermit
Jen describes her life as boring and unenjoyable since she's had kids.
"I hate, hate HATE my life now. I HATE what it has become. I can’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep or the last time I hung out with my friends. Oh, wait. I don’t have any friends because guess what? My baby took SO much of my time that I ignored everybody else in my life, including my husband and friends. Now I don’t have any friends, and I barely have a relationship with my husband."
"Not to mention the drudgery, monotony, sleep deprivation, the 40 pounds I’ve gained, and how ashamed I am for feeling this way. Obviously it’s not my child’s fault – she didn’t ask to be born. It’s my fault and now I’m paying for stupidly believing that having a baby was simply the next logical step in my marriage."
8 My Son Robs Me Of Sleep...All The Time
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Kylie admits that she doesn't think she can put up with her son's crying and sleep cycle for much longer.
"I struggle daily at being a mother to my 15 month old son. He’s always had a terrible sleep cycle, due to which he barely lets me sleep. As a result, I’m forced to miss work so that I can just sleep in, which again sometimes isn’t possible because he’ll be up at 6 in the morning and will make sure I’m awake as well."
"Sleep deprivation has resulted in me having a couple of emotional meltdowns. In fact, I remember this one day my husband asked me to take leave for 2 days because he was going out of state and couldn’t take care of the baby. The very thought of being alone with my son for that long made me vomit (and I mean this very literally)."
"This was just how stressed I was. I feel more resentment, anger and hatred towards him than love and compassion. I’m at a loss. Is it me who’s the bad mother here, or was I better off not having this cursed demon child in my life? I don’t know. I haven’t made up my mind yet."
7 My Third Child Ruined My Life
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Kaitlyn tells us that the birth of her third son changed her life for the negative, and because of it she doesn't treat him like she does her other two children.
"My son was an accident. He wasn’t supposed to happen, and when I found out I was pregnant, I decided to keep my child. He is my 3rd child, and you can imagine how tiresome the ordeal would have been for me. I love my son to bits, but I also know that things changed drastically after he was born."
"Because we weren’t prepared for him, our finances suddenly became an issue, which of course was the least of our worries. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. My son is 5 now, and I feel ashamed to admit that I hated him at times for ruining my happiness. I was happy with my husband and my two children. There was no need for my 3rd child to be born."
"He was an ACCIDENT. I'm trying my best to make it work, but my relationship with him has already begun to strain. I am openly biased against him and shower my other two kids with love and compliments, while I deliberately ignore my third child. I know, I’m a horrible person."
6 I'm Afraid Of What Life Will Be Like With My Son
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Ryan's story is a pretty sad one. After his girlfriend's bipolar started turning violent, he was left a single father.
"I am a single father. His mother and I dated back in 2012, and after 4 months of courtship, she moved in. It was only then I realized that she was bipolar and what was worse, she refused to get treated. Our fights kept getting worse and worse till one day, I was forced to call the police. She used to get physically abusive and the police let her off with just a warning."
"The day she beat me to a pulp was the day the police finally said that legally, eviction would take 5 months. In those 5 months things calmed down and I thought we were finally putting our terrible days behind us. In fact, when she told me she was expecting, I was sorta happy. Sorta."
"But one month later, she was back in a manic state, and guess who wasn’t excited at the thought of being a single father (she wasn’t allowed to keep her baby because of her condition). I mean I knew parenting means responsibility, but I am in no way interested in being 100% responsible for this baby. No way."
5 Being A Single Mother Is Causing Me Emotional Stress
"I've been a single mother for 3 years now, and I was forced to leave my job for my baby, because obviously after you’re done paying for daycare, you don’t have much money left in your pockets. Plus, the job was stressing me out and I thought being with my baby would make things easier for me. I was wrong."
"Due to financial issues I was forced to move in with my obnoxious mother who just won’t stop jabbering about what a “real” mother should be doing in my place."
"My health has been the worst it has ever been in my life, I’ve nearly had 2 mental breakdowns and sometimes, I feel so suffocated for just no reason that have to rush out of my house and stand in the middle of the street to just feel relaxed. Ironic, right? I visited several doctors, had many tests done and they all said the same thing – the problem is emotional, not physical."
4 I'm Not Equipped To Raise My Autistic Daughter
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Becky says that she honestly doesn't feel capable of looking after her daughter.
"My 4 year old daughter is autistic. And I try. I tried really, really hard to be patient with her. Loving her, being there whenever she needed me – you name it, and I did it. But I’m so done with her. I tried to love her, but all she does is throw tantrums, she doesn't eat her food, she's hard to put clothes on and basically out of control at times."
"I know it’s not her fault she was born this way, but this is NOT what I pictured for my child. I wanted a normal child because I KNOW I’m incapable of raising a special needs child. Does that make be bad? Sure, go ahead. Judge me. But after you’ve spent 6 years with getting barely 4 hours of sleep daily, come back to me and let me know how you feel about your 'innocent' child, alright?"
3 I Hardly Have A Connection With My Daughter
Michelle says that her daughter's illness has caused her anxiety and damaged the mother child bond.
"My 4 year old daughter has a rare chromosome condition, which as luck would have it, my insurance doesn’t cover. I took two jobs just to cover my child’s medical expenses, and I leave my daughter with my mother every single day so that she could take care of her. I obviously can’t afford daycare, and her medical bills are so big that I'm barely able to make my rent. I applied for disability, but I was denied."
"Now I have developed terrible anxiety and because I’m always so busy at work, I barely have time to interact with my child. I don’t have a relationship with her at all. I feel like why am I even a mom if I don’t have any connection with my child? I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself that question for the last year and a half."
2 I'm Too Selfish To Be A Mother
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Veronica admits that she would put her selfishness over her baby.
"I’m just tired of being this tired every single hour of every single day of my life. This is NOT what I wanted. I have always been a selfish person. I have no shame in accepting it. But is it really selfish of me to ask for a week away from my noisy child so I can just lie in peace and listen to the birds chirp while someone gives me breakfast in bed and massages my feet?"
"It’s actually a fantasy of mine. Which has become increasingly detailed over the years. I miss my days of being a young traveler who absorbed new cultures and explored wherever I went. Everything changed when this child happened. I thought I’d be one of those cool moms who take their babies on trips, but I absolutely can't travel with this child of mine, so I gave up on my dream."
"And if given a choice, I would probably choose my dream over my baby."
1 I'm Jealous Of My Single Friends
"Sometimes I like being a father to my 3 year old daughter and 5 year old son. But sometimes, I can’t help but feel jealous of my single friends who can live their lives on their own terms. They don’t have to schedule their movie timings according to the availability of the babysitter, or based on which kid's movie the children can watch."
"I don’t remember the last time I had a guys’ night out, or even when I pursued an activity I love (something which is independent of my children’s existence). Obviously I’m never going to leave my children because having them was a conscious decision, and I know I have to live by that decision. I’m just that type of guy. Aren’t we allowed to regret the decisions we make?"