Having a second child is a joy, right? Well, yes... and no! There are many things that new moms of two may not expect once baby number two arrives. Two kids change things up, there is no denying that. You might think you know how it will be with two little ones, but do you really know what to actually expect???
No matter how much you attempt to plan for having two little ones at home, nothing will ever really go as expected. You can plan all you want, but once it is a reality, things will likely be far from what you imagine.
It can sure be wonderful to have two sweet kids at home, but it can also drive you up the wall in ways you never thought possible.
Many moms have concerns regarding having two babies. You are all set with your first, you likely have a routine going on, and then after a while, another little one gets thrown into the mix. Those routines? Well, you probably know what we are going to say! Two kids can make a world of difference, and will be easily be a mixture of unending love and never ending craziness. Read on for some things that moms don’t expect when baby number two arrives.
14 You’ve Never Felt Exhaustion Like This
You have already had a baby, you know that newborns can leave you feeling tired and exhausted. Once you bring home baby number two, you will quickly wish for those days when you only had the one to take care of!
Newborns do not require too much work, after all, they do sleep quite a bit. But you also have to get up with them throughout the night. With your first, you likely had a chance to somewhat rest during those newborn naps. Only this time, with two kids, you do not get that chance. Because once you are done, say, putting the newborn down for a nap, your other child may require your attention. Suddenly, you are aware you will likely never rest again and your exhaustion will be at an all time high.
13 Gentle! (Say It Like 100 Times A Day)
No matter if your first child is one, three, six, or ten, when the second child comes around, they will likely not be totally aware of just how delicate a newborn baby is. It is amazing for the big brother or big sister to suddenly have this, well, new toy to play with! It is like a living doll that is their very own!
The word 'gentle' will leave your lips so many times in just one day you will consider recording it so you can just press play and save your breath! Bigger kids, even if they are still little themselves, need to be watched and told how to touch, hold, and kiss their new baby brother or baby sister. Trust us, they are all too rough. All of them!
12 Your Second May Be Totally Different Than Your First
Was your second pregnancy different from your first? If it was, that may be an indication of what is to come! You are all set with how your first child is, and if you think your second one will be basically identical to your first, you are in for a shocker. Did your first sleep through the night at 6 weeks old? Be prepared, you second may not sleep through the night until their second birthday!
It is totally normal to compare your first child to your second baby. We all do it. But we need to be aware that they are two different people, and will likely do things differently. One may be more quiet while the other is outgoing. One may crawl or walk early, while the other takes their time reaching milestones.
11 They Will Form An Incredible Bond
There may be a lot of complaining how how exhausting and crazy life can be with two little ones at home, but there is a wonderful benefit to having two children- they will be each other’s best friends. It really is quite an amazing thing to witness your first child and second baby having an unspoken bond.
Sometimes there is jealousy, but overall, and as they get a bit older, you will find that your two children have formed an incredible bond. A bond that really you have nothing to do with. Their bond as siblings and friends will be very different than the bond you have with them as mother and child. You will be in awe and feel endless love as you witness your two little ones becoming the best of friends.
10 You May Not Be As Overprotective Or Worried
We all know the commercial where it shows the mom with her first kid gathering anything and everything she thinks she needs to have to leave the house with her baby- except she forgets the baby because her hands are all full! Then it fast forwards to her with two little ones, and all she does is grab a diaper, a handful of Cheerios, and she’s off!
The commercial hits the nail on the head. With your first, you tend to go a little overboard. You may be worried or overprotective, and feel like you need to bring a mini nursery with you no matter where you go. Once you have your second, you are an old pro, and it may actually shock you that you are not as worried as you were with your first- and that’s a good thing!
9 Patience Is A Virtue - And You May Lose It
Moms are born with a boatload of patience. We need an immense amount of patience as mothers, because we all know our kids can drive us up the wall. Constantly. Patience is a necessity when you are a mom, but you may find yourself running out of patience when you have two little ones.
Two kids can cause your supply of patience to run around before breakfast. You may find yourself yelling at your kids or getting really frustrated. That is normal, and it does happen. You are likely exhausted and on little to no sleep. Take a moment to decompress or call up grandma to come over for a little bit. Just know when you need a break! It is always okay to ask for help if your need to refuel your patience supply.
8 They Will Not Be On The Same Schedule
All new moms of two imagine being able to relax, maybe watch some television, read a book, or take a nap, while both kids are napping. Good luck with that! Chances are, unless you are super lucky, it may be very, very difficult to get your kids on the same schedule. You can try for the same schedule with eating, but that can be a challenge, as well!
When your newborn naps, your older child will refuse or will be pushing your buttons. Look at this as an opportunity though, to bond with your older child. Play a game or read together, or heck, even watch a show together. Maybe at the very least, you can get them to go to bed for the night at the same time, so you can get a few minutes break then!
7 The House Does Not Need To Be Spotless
Two kids are a lot of work, even if the newborn spends most of the time sleeping! You are exhausted, and you are trying to give equal attention to both little ones. The one thing that you will realize quickly, is that your house will not get as much attention as you used to give it- and that is okay. The same goes with cooking. Order in or whip up quick and easy dinners.
You may expect your life to return to the way it was once you bring your second baby home, but you may not expect that you have actually become okay with pushing things to the back burner until you can establish a routine, or at least get some sleep yourself!
6 The First Child May Make A Newborn Seem Easy
We know that newborns are not a lot of work, really. They eat, sleep, and poop. It is exhausting because it is around the clock, but otherwise, it is a pretty simple (and sleepless) job. Most people may think newborns are a lot of work, but throw in another kid, and suddenly caring for a newborn seems easy peasy!
Your first child may require more specific tasks, such as potty training, learning to read, changing their own clothes, falling asleep by themselves, and so much more. They may seem extra needy too, when you first bring home their little sibling. This can cause them to seem like a ton of work, and your newborn to just be easy because they just lie there eating, sleeping, and pooping!
5 You May Not Baby Proof Like You Did The First Time
Did you go crazy baby proofing your house like some sort of fort with your first child? Well, you may not repeat that with the second kid. It seems that once we have one child, things are far more lax with the second. It may even surprise you, being far more comfortable the second time around. You may have not expected to not baby proof like your house is a prison this time!
Sure, some baby proofing is necessary, but you may find that some baby proofing you did the first time around was not only exhausting, but totally unnecessary. So who cares if your little one turns the cable box off sometimes?! As long as the outlets are covered and anything dangerous is taken care of, there is no need to go overboard.
4 It’s No Lie- Double The Kids- Double The Work
Whoever said having two kids is the same as having one lied- and probably never had two kids! One kid is work, add another, and your work does indeed double. You will suddenly have two little ones to care for, and they will be at different caring stages.
You may be potty training your toddler while trying to nurse your newborn. You might be shuffling your kid off to school while your newborn screams because she needs to be changed. One kid always needs something. Sometimes they need two different things at the same exact time, and you are the only adult in sight! It certainly is a lot of work, double the work in fact, but of course, it is not without its incredible and loving rewards, which make it all worth it.
3 How Your Heart Opens To So Much Love
Some soon-to-be moms of two are genuinely concerned about whether they will love their second child as much as they love their first. Of course, they know they will love their second, but this seems to be a real concern among moms of one and almost two.
An amazing and perhaps unexpected thing happens when you have your second baby. Your heart opens up to so much love. You have this capacity to love endlessly, that you never knew existed before. It is truly remarkable. You are able to love both your children equally and incredibly. Do not worry about this if you are one of the moms who has this very real concern, you will be pleasantly surprised at how your heart can change and adjust to love even more.
2 Time Goes By In A Blink Of An Eye
We are all told life as a mom can go by super fast, but what you may be shocked to discover is just how fast that time flies with your second baby. Because you also have another child to care for, you do not get to focus solely on your second baby. It is not the same as when it was just mom and first born baby, when your sole focus was on baby number one.
Many moms find it unexpected that they go from having baby number two, and suddenly it is their first birthday! Time goes by so fast, it can make us sad, even. Try to revel in each and every moment, because all you have to do is blink, and they will be in high school!
1 Easy Peasy- You Are An Old Parenting Pro
You may not expect to find how good you are at this parenting thing. It may come as a surprise how easily you take to raising two little ones, and how much you already know. Suddenly, you are a parenting pro! Your instincts as mama bear kick in and you are a mom who knows her stuff!
You already had one child. No matter how old or young they are, you did a good job. Now with your second, you may find yourself more relaxed and enjoying motherhood a bit more, since this is your second time around. You do not have to stress over every little thing, because you have been there and done that. This is your real chance to have fun with being a mom of two sweet babies!
Sources: What To Expect, BabyCenter