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15 Absurd Celebrity Birth Plans

Do moms usually require complete silence when they gave birth? Maybe they wanted an orchestra to play a certain musical composition so that the baby had a grandiose welcoming theme song. Or it could be that they wanted to jet across the globe to give birth, so that the baby's spirit could be united with the spirit of her great-great-great grandmother.

No? This doesn't sound familiar, does is? To be perfectly honest, this doesn't sound like most other women. The birth plans just described are similar to those coming from...yep, Hollywood.

For some reason, celebrities are not only famous for their looks, but they're also famous for thinking up some pretty extravagant birth plans. The following 15 points are of the most out-of-this-world celebrity birth plans. From dedicated theme songs to forbidding the birthing parter from using the restroom, these birth plans top them all.

The thing about celebrities is that we've come to expect them to be larger than life. Tinsel Town has sort of conditioned the general population to feed off of their diva demands. We love hearing about how this celebrity threw their Starbucks order at the cashier because it wasn't low-fat or that one slapped a waitress for putting mayo on their ham sandwich. This kind of news tickles us pink because it's stuff we would never do. That, my friend, is what this post is all about. Enjoy!

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15 Beyonce’s Birth Extravaganza

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Queen B is topping the charts in more that one way. When she was preparing to have her twins, she was apparently a "nightmare" for the hospital. She demanded the latest and the greatest in her room, so the hospital had to update all their equipment in the room she'd requested. Her and husband Jay Z also arranged a team A and team B for the scheduled c-section to confuse paparazzi.

So they didn't have to socialize with hospital staff, Tina Knowles, (Beyonce's mother) organized catering during the entire hospital stay. To make matters worse, both parents argued with the hospital staff for weeks about the use of security cameras, too. As well as updating all the equipment, the hospital had to build a special play area for Bey's daughter Blue Ivy so that she was well attended to.

14 Mariah Carey’s Over-The-Top Fantasy Birth

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Mariah Carey has never been anything less than a diva, and her birth plan was nothing less than diva-like, too. Although her then-husband Nick Cannon believed it to be a little bit too extravagant, he went along with it. According to Cannon, having the twins was the "most diva thing" his wife ever did.

As you might know, Carey performed the song Fantasy in Madison Square Garden and there was a live recording of it. So, as a part of her birth plan, she demanded that this song was played in the background. The reason behind this request, per Mariah Carey, was that she wanted her twins to "come out to a round of applause."

13 Kelly Preston Opts For Silence

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As you might know, John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston are hardcore Scientologists. This is one of the most popular belief systems in Hollywood nowadays. Among its followers are Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, Beck, and Leah Remini, to name a few. Here's the scoop: scientology pushes for what's called a silent or quiet birth.

This style of birthing is exactly what was listed on Preston's birth plan. Her goal was to labor and deliver without the assistant of any medication. The wild part is that she wanted complete silence as her baby emerged into the world. She wanted no "Shh" of any kind, and no chatter from the hospital staff. Little did she know that she would end up wanting an epidural after laboring for 13 hours at home.

12 Only A French Birth For Angelina Jolie

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We all know that Angelina Jolie is very picky about where she gives birth. Having already given birth in a foreign country (Africa), Jolie knew exactly how doable this really was. So, she decided to do it again with her twins with then-husband Brad Pitt. This time she wanted to give birth in a reserved maternity ward in France.

Why France? Well, her grandmother was Gallic and she wanted to foster a deep spiritual connection between the babies and her grandmother. Though, the wildest part about her birth plan  wasn't actually about giving birth in a foreign country. Nope, the wildest part was mostly about the incredible amount of security that she hired for the process. And, the amount of times she required her team to practice what would happen on the actual day. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

11 Kristin Bell, Liquid Courage, And A Baseball Bat

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Kristin Bell and Dax Shepard are two of the most down-to-earth celebrities that exist. Sometimes, things get a little bit too TMI and honest when it comes to this couple. Before Kristin Bell gave birth to her second child, she shared some pretty hilarious thoughts on the whole birthing process. She also shared her birth plan (I think).

Because this was Bell's second time giving birth, she went about it in a different way. A much different way, actually. Her birth plan was to ask for a ton of Jack upon feeling the first contraction and go from there. Here's what she said, "I feel like, when I arrive at the hospital, I want a glass of liquid courage, I want an epidural in my back, and I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat." She also dramatically compared giving birth (and raising children) to a crime scene. Nothing is too serious for this celebrity!

10 Megan Fox’s Transforming Birth Plan

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While she might look tough on the big screen, she has openly declared herself to be anything but a tough girl in real life. Megan Fox planned on a birth sans medication. She wanted to be all-natural and "tough it out," according to her memory of the experience. Her game plan was to labor like a champ until she was dilated to 8 cm and then go to the hospital.

Like many other celebrities, Fox tried to look her best when she arrived at the hospital. She was busy blow drying her hair as she experienced her first contractions, which she described as horrific. She threw her non-medicated plans out the window and was screaming for an epidural as her husband Brian Austin Green drove her to the hospital.

9 Gisele Bündchen’s Visualization Plan

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The supermodel Gisele Bundchen was heavily influence by talk show host Ricki Lake and her documentary The Business of Being Born. Because of the documentary, Bundchen decided that drug-free was the way she wanted to give birth to her baby with New England quarterback Tom Brady.

What her birth plan did entail was a calm and tranquil water birth. None of this was out of the ordinary as she prepared for this kind of birth with yoga and meditation, which is incredibly common. And, water births are becoming increasingly more popular, as well. The odd part about her birth plan was that it actually worked. Who knows if she was telling the truth about childbirth not being painful or if she was just too zen-focused to notice, but apparently having a baby was super easy for this Brazilian beauty.

8 Miranda Kerr And Her Strict Rules For Her Partner

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Although Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are no longer an item, they were most definitely an item when Miranda gave birth to their child. And, the Victoria's Secret model set some pretty tough guidelines to follow for the father-to-be.

Like many other women, Kerr planned on having a non-medicated birth. Unlike Gisele Bundchen's euphoric moment of birth, Kerr thought she was going to die. Orlando Bloom was not allowed to leave her side. He couldn't go eat, use the restroom, or step outside of the room for any reason whatsoever. She forced him to pee in a bottle when he had to use the restroom and like a trooper he willingly complied. For the record, Kerr was in labor for 27 hours. That's a long time to pee in a bottle!

7 Rachel Zoe’s Imperfect Documentary Birth

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When you're a normal, everyday person, you don't think twice about the little details like whether your hair is fixed when you are about to go to the hospital to have a baby. But, when you're as famous as Rachel Zoe and you're the star in your own show then your hair is exactly what you think about.

According to Zoe's birth plan, the entire process was supposed to be documented for her reality TV show The Rachel Zoe Project. She was supposed to be in pristine condition aka all dolled up. She comments, “If I’m going to be a mess, I’m gonna be a glamorous mess.” The story goes, as her husband of 15 years was shoving the camera in her face while she was laboring and fixing her hair, she sort of shot her birth plan in saying, "Shhh! I’m in so much pain. Out of my face!"

6 Kourtney Kardashian Plans A Hands-On Birth

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By now Kourtney Kardashian is a seasoned mom. She's been there, done that. In other words, she knows what she likes when it comes to child birth. Instinctively, she reached down to pull out her first baby. Now, of course, her birth plan included delivering her own baby. This is actually not completely unheard of as other mothers enjoy doing that same thing.

The craziest part of Kardashian's plan involved after baby came home. She didn't want to talk about anything work-related (being a fashion mogul and reality TV star) and she certainly didn't even want to be interrupted during that time frame. While this all seems great, it's just not doable for those of us not living inside a reality TV show.

5 Shy Christina Applegate Bears It All

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It's not uncommon for celebrities not to be as shy as normal people. After all, it's not everyday that we regular Joes have to wear a nude patch and pretend to be intimate with someone while ten dozen cameras watch us. This is what celebrities do (well, only when filming love scenes), so they're obviously not quite as shy as regular people.

But, Christina Applegate is very private about her breasts. She doesn't uncover them for anyone. In fact, this was a huge part of her birth plan. She didn't want to uncover her breasts with the group of medical staff in the room during delivery. But, this all changed once her baby arrived. Surprising everyone, Applegate ripped off her gown to bear it all as she breastfed her baby for the first time.

4 Pink And The Epic Birth Plan Fail

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Pop star Pink and husband Carey Hart were all aboard the Ricki Lake train after watching her documentary The Business of Being Born. Pink wanted and planned on having a non-medicated birth and to keep things as natural as possible. After two nights of laboring, she couldn't transition her baby from the frank breech position she was in.

Contrary to the natural birth her plan had outlined, she ended up having a c-section. And here's the thing about Pink's epic birth plan fail - she was totally cool with it. Unlike other diva requirements and celebrity demands, Pink behaved in an incredibly civil manner and only wanted to keep her little baby safe. All in all, Pink's birth plan wasn't so absurd. Rather, it was how absurd a celebrity to respond so calmly to such an epic birth plan fail.

3 Mayim Bialik’s Granola Birth

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Mayim Bialik is not one to shy away from having very strong opinions on basically everything. Her birth plan was no different than that. For her first child, she planned on having a home birth. Like many home birth plans, it didn't go as planned. She also planned to bed share, nurse on demand, and bathe the baby herself. Disappointingly, she wasn't able to do any of this in the hospital.

For her second child, Bialik's birth plans were similar to the first, only now she had a toddler to include in the process. So, her ideal birth was for her son to sit in his high chair as he watched her labor and deliver. This is exactly what happened, too. She had her baby in under two hours. Her toddler sat in his high chair eating a granola bar up until the point where he got bored and fell asleep.

2 The Painfully Fun Labor Of Marla Sokoloff

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You might know Marla Sokoloff as Gia from Full House or maybe even Claire from Desperate Housewives. She has undoubtedly had many unforgettable on-screen moments.  Although not quite the diva many big screen stars can be, she did have plans to have a much different birth than what she had. In fact, she actually thought birth would be a little more fun than it was.

Sokoloff and her husband Alec Puro didn't have any uber extravagant birth plans, although there is a catch. The one thing that she wanted to do was to have one last epic family weekend with just her husband and her young daughter Elliotte. And then she surprisingly gave birth at 34 weeks. After 16 days in the NICU, Sokoloff was finally able to bring her baby home. What's absurd about her birth plan...pretty much the hilarity of having a plan at all according to her.

1 Celine Dion’s Laminated Birth Plan

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Some people are very particular about the way they want things handled. To make sure things go exactly as they have planned, many people take it upon themselves to write it all out and give everyone an agenda. Celine Dion is one these people. While this isn't a bad thing, it does reflect the way she handles her affairs. In short, she's an organized woman.

Although we don't know exactly what was on her birth plan, we do know that it was incredibly detailed and very intricate. Not only was she thorough in her planning, but she made sure everyone had a copy and that the copies were even laminated. She didn't want anyone to be in the dark or for any lines to be crossed in the process.

Sources:  www.dailymail.co.uk, www.today.com, www.people.com

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