Motherhood is a precious time. It's also exciting and lonely, especially as the little one gets mobile and needs to move around and be entertained. If Moms haven’t joined any formal play groups, when her baby is a toddler she starts to see she needs them as much for baby’s entertainment as for her own. Entering Mom/Tots groups is one of the greatest adventures of modern society. They are usually safe havens where Moms congregate to chat, laugh, compare, support and get out of the house which can get really darn boring. They are also great places for babies to play and interact with each other while learning social skills. Other than babies picking up more germs due to close proximity with other babies, this idea of Mom/Tot meetups is great, except when it all goes horribly wrong. This happens when Moms get kicked out of Mom/Tot Groups.
Why would Moms get kicked out? Who would do such a thing? Well, usually it’s the other women in the group, and it happens due to some pretty strange behavior that they or their child is exhibiting, or both. Sometimes it's fair game. Other times not. Sometimes it's just plain funny to see why and how Moms were kicked out of Mom/Tot Groups. Motherhood is a time when our personalities our often changing, and women’s reactions vary across the board from calm to furious. On that note, here are 15 hilarious times Moms were kicked out of Mom/Tot groups:
Ok we all are worried about our kid’s poop. Either it’s not enough poop, too much poop, the wrong color, shape, smell etc. But to keep talking about it continuously pretty much equals an obsession. Moms who can’t let it go (cue in song), need to take a Mommy break. Leave the kid with someone else for the morning, afternoon or day. And if she can’t think of what to talk about, it's better to stay quiet and observe the cues around her. She may be able to get in some appropriate poop talk, but it needs to end there ladies. Other Moms deal with this stuff all day and night too, but the Mom/Tot group is a chance to ask other questions too, compare notes, and maybe share a laugh about motherhood so she sees she is not alone. If there is that Mom droning on about that other thing, well, it kind of takes away from that.
Babies need to sleep. Some babies sleep more than others. Hooray for those Moms. Some sleep less than others. Sympathy and support is sent in the direction of those Moms. It's a good idea to have baby on a sleep schedule as of four or five months old, not younger usually. Talking about baby’s sleeping patterns is OK. It's important to learn how she could help her baby in this area. But there is always that Mom who just can’t shut up about her kid’s sleeping or not sleeping. Come on. Just go with it. If the house is a mess, so be it. The baby will eventually sleep, as we will all if she keeps boring us with the same old stories. These poor Moms do need support, but chewing the ears of every Mom in the group about his nocturnal and daytime napping will only serve to isolate her. Try humor, a rolling of the eyes, and asking about how other Moms are doing. That will keep her in the group.
This sounds strange as they have the biggest thing in common - being a Mom. But that alone will not form a friendship or help her navigate her way in conversations about things she may have no interest in or enjoy. This Mom will usually try talking about a few topics only to be met with a cold stare of being ignored. Eventually if she is not asked to leave, she may actually volunteer leaving the group herself. Anything is better than being left out or laughed at. Moms go to Mom Groups to find a community and build community spirit, make friends and find some adult things to laugh about. If she can’t get that, what’s the point? She wants companionship, to talk and to trade on the ups and downs of motherhood. Judgment is not something she wants to continue to subject herself to.
Ah yes, the honest Mom. We all say honesty is the best policy, but that is not always true in life unfortunately, and in Mom/Tot Groups. The Mom who is one hundred percent truthful and tells the other Moms how she raises her kids will sometimes get that silent blank stare like she didn’t understand the question the first time around. Let’s be clear. In today’s modern parenting world, there are so many different parenting styles. There is attachment parenting, positive parenting. There are parents who raise their children on organic food only, or are Gluten-Free or vegan or all of the above. A Mom that answers the question of what kind of parenting she does with a huh or a: I feed them, clothe, them, and keep them alive, may get several gasps, dirty looks and demands to clarify. When she says something about not agreeing with any of the above parenting styles, she could find herself outside the group - and often does.
Ok, we all know that starry-eyed Mom in the Mom/Tot playgroup where everything about motherhood is wonderful, precious and perfect. For some of the Moms who say this, it's true. We are all very happy for these Moms. However, for most of them this is not the case. They are hiding out and trying to blend in. The lone rebel Mom in the group that may call out this imposter by saying "come on!" and may find herself on the opposite side of the Mom/Tot Group door. Hey, she was just being honest and telling it like it is. There’s the whole honesty is the best policy bull again. This Mom is trying to do a favor and open the other Mom’s eyes, but to no avail. And, in life it’s often the messenger (let’s call her realistic Mom) who gets the ax.
On a similar note, Moms who don’t make healthy choices for their child’s snack, i.e. non-processed, no sugar, not organic or non-Gluten-Free have sometimes been frowned upon and asked to leave the group if Moms refuse to bring healthier snacks. Really, this is taking it a little far. As long as Mom is not sharing her kid’s snacks with the other kids before talking to that kid’s Mom to know where she stands, it is a free country. Yes, all Moms know there cannot be nut snacks in any public setting with their kids. This is a real safety and health hazard and no Mom would endanger another Mom’s kid. But it's overstepping when even the food police come out with kids’ snacks now. Some of these “food delinquents” may even choose to leave the offended group themselves with this kind of pressure. Hey, if it’s not going to be a relaxed and fun setting, one is better off without it.
Yes, that Mom who brings her sick, wheezing child to the Mom and Tot group because it’s good for him to socialize. If she does this enough times, she will get a full house of other Moms kicking her out of the playgroup. No one wants to wake up, not only being sick themselves, but having to tend to their sick baby, too! Come on ladies. It’s common sense. It’s important to consider everyone’s feelings when deciding whether to go to or skip playgroup the next day - even daycares don't allow Moms to drop off their sick kids, so why should a Mom/Tot group have to? A Mom who continues to do this is not considerate of other people’s well-being. While it may be devastating to be stuck at home all day with a sick baby, it’s important to respect these rules to avoid being tossed out with our little one and their germs, and the ones we are probably infecting as well.
Ok, so this Mom had gumption to do this. It’s true. Mom/Tot groups, unless the kids are in the four to five year old range, are more for the Moms than the kids. The kids are babies. They don't really “play” with one another, unless you count parallel play where they play different games next to or behind one another. If they are really little and sit in their chairs, they are not really interacting other than drooling at one another. That’s Ok though. They are still learning rudimentary communication styles, and what is more important is that the Moms are forming friendships and connections so they don't burn out. Presumably the experience is positive, or else the Moms will not come back out to the group. A lot of Moms take offence if a Mom says these groups are for adults more than kids. It's natural, healthy and normal to want to forge female Mom friendships. To get kicked out is ironic, as it does not show tolerance, but this has happened to many women.
Yep. That spirited theme carries forward and there is always that child, who in his or her exuberance knocks things down and irks the wrong touchy feely people in the room. As Mom/Tot groups start off as a bunch of woman who don’t really know one another and their children, it just takes one to point the finger at the rambunctious child and the Mom who may not have been fast enough to stop the food spill. There are stranger reasons to be kicked out of somewhere, but if a few Moms judge this Mom and her child on one rough afternoon, she can very quickly find herself kicked out of the group. Really, Moms have to learn to lighten up. Chances are other Moms in the group will want to leave after seeing that the complainers have no sense of humor. After all, it’s not like the kid set off the fire extinguisher or anything!
Yes, some children are a little more spirited and exuberant than others. They may tip things over and spill things. It takes one Mom complaining and labeling this child “a brat,” and then everything changes. The Mom and spirited child are then kicked out and that Mom is labeled a bad Mom who can’t discipline her child. It’s sad and unfair, and some Moms may even root for that kid who is spunky and creative and made a mistake, after all it wasn't a deliberate injustice. Still, this has happened many times in the past that a parent and child have been judged without any time being made to look at the whole story. Chances are the Mom of said child will go out of her way to be even more lenient to Moms who have children who are a little more different or spirited. She may even form her own group of Mom friends with spirited children.
Oh yes, and the Moms who voice their socio-political beliefs in a particularly intense way and don’t seem to care that others don’t agree or are uncomfortable, or want to create new “converts” to their way of parenting, will surely make enemies within seconds and get the old heave-ho from the group. No one wants to hear about how one way of parenting is the “right” way to do it. Just like every kid is different, so is every parent. That is what makes us all unique in what we want to teach our kids in the end. But the crazy political Mom making statements at the Mom/Tot Group is only asking for trouble. No one wants to know all the details of how she makes her organic homemade baby food, how she is a better human being for using cloth diapers, or how bottle feeding is evil and breastfeeding is the only way. All Moms are entitled to their opinions and to tolerance.
The braggart Mom will annoy everyone in the room, child and adult alike. Most Moms want to wipe that smirk of satisfaction that her child is the next Einstein, Bill Gates or whoever, just because her child gurgled on cue. She will be keeping notes on every milestone and practically every breath her child inhales and exhales. If this kind of Mom does not reign herself in, she will be ousted out and happily by the majority of the women as it is too much to take. Everyone loves their child, but for crying out loud, Moms wish she would cut the competition and just enjoy them, enjoy talking to others, and stop making it all about her and her child and her wonderful perfect life. There will probably be a unanimous vote to get her out and no qualms or chances given to her. She will hopefully learn what NOT to do the next time around.
The noisy or overly talkative and bossy toddler has gotten many a mother kicked out of Mom/Tot groups for being, well, overly noisy and talkative. It seems that this little creature is reflecting her poor parenting and discipline techniques and making play group stressful for all the other children and their mothers. These children either are coddled by their overly permissive or inexperienced Moms, but most times it's just an exhausted Mom who doesn't know what else she can do. She’s stuck with this noisy and talkative kid at home and now she can't even take him/her places as it'll get her kicked out. So, it's embarrassing for her, but annoying for everyone else. She usually leaves the room with angry words spewing from her mouth, smoke coming out of her ears, and finding herself cursing the other Moms in the group with their quiet children.
A Mom who goes ballistic, loses her temper and kinda goes postal will get ousted. It doesn’t matter if she was provoked, it's kinda wrong with all those little ones around. Sometimes we can’t help but love her spunk though. If someone told her off, she had the guts to tell them where to go. Of course, there are quieter ways of doing it instead of uttering swear words and epithets, but hey, no one’s perfect. This kind of Mom is usually exhausted, may not have appropriate anger management strategies, maybe tapped out all her energy already for the day, or just be plain well burned out and fed up and takes out her anger at the group. It’s best she shares her stress with a trusted friend in the group one-on-one before she gets to explosion level. If she hasn’t found someone like that in the group and has no one else in her life, she needs to go in search of another group to give her the support she needs.
There are many other instances that cause Moms to get kicked out of Mom/Tot groups, but hopefully with the new insight gained, Moms will see what NOT to do in these groups, so Mom/Tot groups are a positive experience for them.