As a parent, your kids will always try your patience. Children will do things to irritate you, but they are not to blame for how you act. Parents always think their kids are so irresponsible when they lose their personal items, they are ungrateful when they damage a toy bought yesterday, and they are inconsiderate when they tease their siblings among other annoying things. Different parents handle their kids in different ways but the results are as different as the way the situation is handled. Here are 15 awesome ways to melt that parental fury.
15 Do Not Express Your Anger When Angry
When you are upset with your child, do not rush at expressing your fury. The moment that you do this when you are angry, the result will be unpleasant. In most cases, adults find themselves expressing their anger towards their spouse or colleagues. How you handle grownups is not how you should handle your child who is still developing. Take time before you seek a response from a kid.
14 Avoid Getting Physical
When a parent gets physical with a child, there is a high risk that the emotional trauma will last a lifetime with the kid. Did you know that getting physical can be addictive? You will find yourself slapping your kid whenever you want to calm yourself down. Remember that you do not have to hit your kid to get rid of your fury as this highly affects the development of your child.
13 Accept You Are Part of the Problem
If you always think your child is the one in the wrong, you will have a hard time controlling your anger. Managing your own emotions and accepting that you are part of the problem is a great way to solve any situation with your child. Consider the areas you need to work on and even seek your child's opinion.
12 Know Why You Are Angry
When kids do what they do, they believe it is the right thing, and when they are aware it's the wrong thing, they hope you will not find out. In most cases, they have no intention of making you angry. One thing you should do to control your anger is to first understand what made you angry. Did you play a part in his actions?
11 Forget Anger From the Past
Kids will test your patience from time to time. You could still be angry for a mistake done by your child a month ago which can lead to you overreacting. If you've had a challenging relationship or job in the past or even a hard time when growing up, let this not affect you every time you are angry with your kid. Do your best to deal with your anger in the past.
10 Show Affection
Some parents say when they show their kids affection, the kids tend to calm down and they understand better why they should not do something. Even if you are angry with your child, you can make the situation better by swallowing your pride and showing affection. Assuring them how much you love them and giving those little hugs works wonders.
9 Take a Deep Breath
When you take a deep breath, you are in a position to make the right choice rather than reacting immediately. This is a very important moment as it makes a huge difference in the way you respond to your child. Remember that this is not the end of your relationship with your child, neither is it the last time they will make you feel this way. All you need is to make them understand it's wrong.
8 Accept Your Kid Will Always Push Your Buttons
As a parent, it's acceptable to always try to control your children so that even in future, they will be able to fit in the society. However, this does not mean they will never go wrong. They will and this will always get you upset. One way to deal with this is accepting the fact they will definitely push your buttons from time to time.
7 Decide the Relationship You Want With Your Kid
Consider the way you respond or react to the situation; is it going to be of any help in years to come? Sometimes, a parent can teach lessons in a harsh way which does not do any good to the kid. If you try to show how harsh you can be and what will happen to your kids when they try to mess with you, do not expect your relationship with the kid to be any better in future. The example that you give is what they will follow.
6 Appeal to Your Child
Appealing directly to the child and expressing your feelings in a considerate way is a great step in dealing with your parental fury. Find a way to express your feelings without getting them upset, and in due time, you will find them reconsidering while thinking of doing the same thing. It will, in turn, subsidize your anger.
5 Choose Your Tone and Words
Your words and tone can make a huge difference in how you handle your child and how they respond to you. This means you should avoid threatening and cursing words. When you watch what you say and say it in a calm manner, you will realize that it will make you feel calmer.
4 Do Not Threaten Your Child
If you keep threatening your kids every time they make a mistake, they will get used to the threats and will less likely do what you want just because threats are never effective. Threats that you do not intend to carry out or ones that are made when you are angry are not reasonable.
3 Do Not Call Them Names
Do not lower your child's self-esteem by calling them names just because you are angry towards them. You have seen kids in school being traumatized just because the schoolmates call him or her a dummy! The kid who is insulted will have the same reaction no matter who insults them and it will not be any different when you call them names.
2 Calm Yourself First
Seeking a response from a kid who has made a mistake is not an emergency. There is no point in rushing to solve it, then making it worse. You can even take some time to listen to your favorite music. By the time you are talking some sense to your little one, you will be in a position to handle the situation better.
1 Do Not Shame or Compare
Your kids can never have the same manners even if they are twins. One will always do something that is different from the other. When you are angry at any of them, do not react by comparing or shaming them. The reason is that this can have a long-term effect that can bring about rivalry among the kids. When you shame or compare, there is a sense of defeat experienced by the kid.