Becoming a mom brings about a host of challenges some of which one cannot imagine until they occur. There are the obvious ones of course – sleep deprivation, breastfeeding trouble, body recovery, and the general ins and outs of caring for a baby – but there will come a point when things start falling into place.
That is until that precious, sweet, innocent baby does something that seems designed simply to get in the way of mom accomplishing anything!
Many a new mom finds that just getting baby dressed and ready for an excursion can feel like a monumental effort. And then of course there is mommy brain too. Mommy brain refers to that somewhat intangible condition brought on by pregnancy during which a new mom feels she exists in a bit of a brain fog.
It’s like climbing to the top of the stairs only to forget what the purpose of going upstairs was. New moms are already starting several steps behind the start line without baby also working against them!
The truth is, even when everything is going as well as it possibly can, it simply might not matter. For sometimes we find a tiny little dictator standing (or sitting or lying) in the way of success. When this happens, we almost have no chance. Wave the white flag and change plans because it’s not gonna going right.
Just kidding. Take a deep breath, pull up those socks, and give it another go. That baby isn’t really out to get their mom, but sometimes it seems like he is! Here we out line 15 hilarious situations all new moms encounter that make it seem the baby is messing with their heads.
15 Poop At The Worst Time
Baby is napped, fed, clean, and the diaper bag is packed. Chances are mom looks pretty good. After all, she is on her way somewhere. Anywhere really. It doesn’t matter. It only took about two hours to get both mom and baby ready. But there they are – all ready!
Mom picks the baby up, place a hand on the front door knob, and she catchse that telltale whiff. Ay, yai yai. He needs a diaper change! And of course it’s an exploder up the back. He definitely needs a new outfit too but hopefully a sponge bath will work so mom can still make it to her “engagement” before it’s over.
Oh shoot. She just smeared baby poop on her pants too. Cute outfit change for mom. This situation inevitably happens every time we try to go somewhere. How does baby know it’s time to get the plumbing moving?
14 Say Dada Before Mama
This one stings a little. After all you’ve spent almost every waking minute with baby for the past how many weeks and months, and what’s the first word he utters? “Dada”. It’s not like you haven’t coached him or anything. Hang in there. It’s not worth crying over but no doubt, hubby will enjoy this at your expense.
Truth-be-told, those first utterances of “Dada” probably aren’t actually associated with his father at all. Some consonant sounds are easier for baby to master than others and the “d” sound is often one of them. When we hear “da-da”, he’s just practicing vocalizing.
We promise, it won’t be long before he utters “ma-ma” as well but it requires that babies put their lips together to make the “mmmmm” sound. With “da-da”, it’s uttered with lips apart which is easier.
13 Take Diaper Off And Play With It
We are sure you are now imagining this situation or perhaps you’ve experienced this. It is VERY unpleasant. There will come a time when baby will discover that he can pull at those little Velcro tabs on diapers. Let’s hope the diaper is simply wet but unfortunately, many a parent has experienced this situation with a #2. GROSS.
For anybody who has gone through this cleanup, it’s something they swear never to go through again. Not only does it contaminate your baby entirely, but also any surface he's encountered – oftentimes this means the crib. For this reason you should always have a Hazmat suit on hand as a mom.
One way to prevent this is to keep baby clothed. It makes it much more difficult for them to access diaper tabs if they are tucked within a onesie.
12 Like Food One Day, Hate It The Next
Starting solids food can be fun but it can also be very frustrating. (And very messy.) One of the most provoking parts of this phase is when baby purses his lips at much of what you offer.
Then one day, jackpot! He likes carrots. In fact he loves them. He eats three servings in one sitting. So after he goes to bed, you get going steaming, pureeing, bottling. Mommy homemaker is here! You wonder how many calories a carrot contains but you figure it’s better than nothing.
The next day you warm up that puree, lovingly made by loving mom, and baby snubs it. Snubs it, spits it out, and throws it on the floor. WTH? Welcome to motherhood. The truth is babies' tastes can change on a dime so we can’t assume we’ve found the golden ticket until they've matured enough to know what they likes.
11 Bite When Nursing
It takes a while to get breastfeeding figured out. It’s not easy. Mom has to learn and baby has to learn too. It’s not always the romantic experience that expectant moms hope for.
Many a mom has dealt with challenges associated with latch, positioning, mastitis, raw and chapped nipples, pumping, tongue or lip tie, poor milk supply… the list goes on and on. Hopefully you finally get the hang of it and get into a nice groove for several months.
Then suddenly junior sprouts some teeth. We all pray they don’t bite down during nursing. Those little teeth are like very sharp concrete blocks. There is no mistaking what has happened once it happens. Let’s hope he only chomps once or twice because a career biter can mean an end to the gig. Our poor boobs have been through enough.
10 Have Spaghetti Arms
We know babies are born with a lot of abilities that enable them to respond and adapt to their environment. What we don’t understand is how every baby is born with the innate ability to turn into spaghetti when you try to pick them up if they don’t want to be picked up.
This skill doesn’t usually emerge until baby is a little older but they all have it down pat. It goes like this: baby is unhappy about something, mom reaches to pick baby up under the armpits, arms shoot up into the air with noodle-like consistency, body goes limp, aforementioned usually accompanied by screaming.
All of this makes them slippery and difficult to wrangle. Spaghetti arms are like a reflex present at birth that has been perfected through evolution.
Result: Baby 1, Mom 0
9 Will Not Nap
Naptime can be the only respite for mom during the day. Moms literally have 1,000 things they want to do during naptime - two of which might be showering and napping herself.
Then baby goes on nap strike. Or worse, he never napped in the first place! How on earth are you supposed to be a Pinterest mom if you don’t have any time to do ANYTHING!
As baby matures and falls into a more reliable nighttime sleep cycle, daytime naps also tend to fall into place too. Any type of a routine for a newborn is tough to come by. There isn’t much chance of a consistent schedule until baby reaches 3-4 months of age. Newborns will sleep when they need to so take it when you can. Hopefully any nap strikes are short-lived.
8 Hate The Bath
Some babies simply have an aversion to water. This is tough because they must be cleaned with some regularity. Some parents think bath time must be daily but this isn’t the case. The truth is, babies don’t get that dirty.
Even so, baby will need a bath at least a few times a week. It’s very tough when little ones hate the bath and scream the whole time. This could be for a host of reasons such as water temperature or the sensation of having water poured on them, particularly over the head. It’s tough to know exactly what the issue is in some cases.
It’s possible to keep baths very short. Do what needs to be done and end it. It’s also nice if both parents can be involved to make sure things go as smoothly and quickly as possible.
7 Will Not Take A Bottle
All moms are going to need a break every once in awhile. The only way to truly get one is to leave baby in the care of someone else. If baby is very young, this means leaving a bottle or two with Dad, Grandma, or some trusted babysitter.
BUT some babies refuse to drink from a bottle. This means the dream of a girl’s night out or spa day or even just running errands solo might go down the tubes. There are a lot of reasons a baby might refuse a bottle, and most of them are solvable but it will take a little investigative work. In other words, plan ahead. Your well-meaning little cherub might be more of an enigma at times.
Some reasons for refusing a bottle might include the wrong artificial nipple, wrong positioning, baby doesn’t like taste of the formula or if the bottle contains breastmilk, mom’s milk might be high in lipase which gives pumped milk a funny taste. Test the different reasons and persevere. It’s worth it.
6 Strip The Sheets Off The Bed
This occurrence can be very annoying. Once baby is old enough and figures out that he can get a grip on an edge of that snug, little fitted sheet, it becomes a game. It’s kind of ok if it happens at the end of a nap or in the morning but not at 3 am. When this pursuit appears, it means he’s found another reason to wake you up!
Another reason this situation is less than ideal is because loose bedding poses a danger to baby. One way to avoid this situation is to check sheets regularly. They can become loose over a period of a few days, making it easier for baby to get them right off. If they are checked daily and pulled taught at the same time, this will be a tougher challenge for him to pursue.
5 Only Nap In The Car
Car napping is something many new moms have been through. Car rides are like a hypnotic device that lull baby to sleep. We know how precious nap time is to the point some parents will drive their baby around to get them to nap. It’s a solution we resort to when babies won’t nap in their crib or wake up the second mom puts him/her down.
There are a few problems with this. First, it’s a bad habit to get into. Second, baby will often wake when the car stops. For this reason, some moms will drive around for the entire duration of the nap. We’ve all done that at least once or twice, right?
Driving around for a nap means some peace and quiet for mom, a happier, rested baby, and plus it kills time in a day when sometimes days feel VERY long. So it's not the worst thing in the world for moms who want some quiet time.
4 Throw ALL Food On The Floor
Sometimes it seems like junior thinks food is confetti. This gets worse if baby doesn’t like the food presented or as the end of a meal nears and baby is getting full.
This can be very frustrating for caregivers who wonder how many times a day they will have to wipe the same table and sweep the same floor. The answer is roughly 500. And plus, all that waste! This situation is particularly annoying if mom has gone to the trouble of making something fresh and healthy only to see it get splattered on the floor.
This habit will definitely be worse for homes that also have dogs. It will not take long for baby to realize how much fun it is it feed the dog. One bite for me, one for Rover, one for me, one for Rover. We are sure this will be the start of a great relationship and at least with a dog, the floor might not be left so messy.
3 Play In Dog Food Bowls
Dog food bowls are like magnets for little people. From their perspective, it makes perfect sense. Here are two bowls within my reach that contain very interesting things. First, there is one that contains water that I can splash in and make a giant mess. Second, there is one that contains small, hard nuggets that are great to throw around.
Of course, as dog owners, parents must also feed their dog but it’s best to keep these bowls out of reach of little hands. There are a lot of smart reasons to do this aside from mess control!
First, dog bowls are very germy and unsafe. Plus, it’s disrespectful to your dog to let your baby get his hands in there. Some dogs can also be aggressive about and possessive of their bowls so it’s best to avoid this and keep them out of baby’s reach.
2 Ransack Everything
Once your baby is on the move, he will become a ransacking machine. You’ll tidy one area only to find, he’s destroyed another. Babies love to empty cupboards, spill toy bins, throw food and anything else they can get their hands on.
It’s important, of course, to make sure baby’s environment is safe so give him his own cupboard in the kitchen containing items like plastic storage bins and rubber spoons. Aside from that, he’ll have to be watched like a hawk.
But the reality is parents will have to accept that their perfect pre-baby house will now be more akin to a disaster zone. Imagine a minefield of toys, scribbles on the walls, and spills on previously pristine furniture. This is your new reality. Hopefully this can be largely contained to a play area, but parents must really look ahead to college-time to get their spaces back again.
1 Poop In The Bath
UGH!!! Poop in the bath is a tough issue to resolve. Obviously the water and tub are contaminated but so is baby. Why didn’t he just poop 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes later? Because he is a baby. That’s the only answer. They are unreasonable creatures.
This situation is particularly tough because you now really need to clean your baby but the vessel in which to clean him is now highly contaminated. On top of that, we must figure out how to scoop the poop out of the bath and all the while keep an eye on baby.
Take a deep breath. You’ll get through it and you’ll have earned another set of “mom” stripes. Little consolation we know, but there really isn’t a silver lining here. Just poop in a tub. Fun times.