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15 Crazy Birth Stories Dads Had No Right To Share

Most men do go into labor rooms with their ladies and some of these guys overshare when it comes to their opinions about childbirth. It's not like the old days when men paced in waiting rooms until their babies were born...and then passed out celebratory shots!

Some thoughts from real guys who've witnessed real labor are funny. Others are rude or just really "out there". It's interesting to discover how men look at the whole process of labor. From their perspective, watching their partner's bodies change as their labors progress is often a little bit jarring.

Guys don't have to feel labor pains, but they do have to feel a lot of emotions while their partners are going through childbirth. They have anxiety about the possibility of birth complications, or feel squeamish, or feel bad for their partners because they're suffering. Every guy is different. Some crack jokes about the whole thing, while others are more sensitive and emotional.

Will you guy be there with you in the labor room? Do you think he'll be sweet to you while you're giving birth, or make things harder by being tense, rude or annoying? Most men are helpful during childbirth. They do care and they want to give emotional support.

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15 He Compared It To A Plant

Do you think it's appropriate to compare your wife's private parts during labor with a Venus fly trap plant that is "pulsating"? One guy shared this opinion with Everydayfamily.com. He is maybe oversharing a bit here. Labor clearly made a big impression on him.

A baby's head is large and a woman's body needs to stretch significantly in order to make it possible for the baby's head to emerge.

A lot of dilation needs to happen before that's possible.

It's quite amazing what the female body can do during labor. No wonder it hurts so much. What's happening is so major. This guy seems haunted by the vision of his wife's lady parts and he's come up with a description of labor which is extremely unique.

14 He Didn't Want To Drop The Newborn

One man was terrified of dropping the baby after it emerged from the womb. According to Cosmopolitan, the midwife asked him if he'd catch the baby when it came out and this gave him anxiety. He was really frightened of dropping the newborn and I don't blame him for being scared. Newborn babies are covered in lots of guck, so they are very slippery.

I'd honestly rather have a doctor catch the baby.

I wouldn't necessarily trust a non-doctor to get the job done right. However, this guy got through the experience and probably found it to be one of the most moving experiences of his life! The midwife was clearly trying to help him bond with his child right from the very first moment.

13 He Wished He Could Have Felt His Partner's Pain

Sometimes, guys sound extremely sweet and loving when they are talking about labor. One guy told Cosmo.com that he found the process of watching his wife go through so much discomfort a rough experience. He wished that he could taken his partner's pain for himself. That's pretty moving, right? I believe him. I would rather feel pain than have someone that I love endure it, so his thoughts make sense to me.

Did you know that there was an experiment which simulated labor pains for men? The guys were hooked up to machines that gave them the same types of "sensations" that women experience while they give birth. According to Motherhoodthetruth.com, the men really suffered, but they didn't need to stay hooked up to the machine for very long.

12 He Thought The Labor Room Smelled Strange

Bored Panda

According to Cosmo, one guy who was with his lady during labor described the aroma in the labor room in an...interesting...way. He said that the room's scent reminded him of the smell of beef jerky. Hopefully, he didn't share his thoughts while his partner was in earshot. That type of remark is the last thing that a woman needs to hear while she's going through labor pains or pushing.

It's hard to say why he smelled "beef jerky" while he was in the labor room.

The ob-gyn probably wasn't snacking on Slim Jims while helping out. Did he smell blood from childbirth or something like that? Usually, hospitals have an antiseptic smell. They have a distinctive smell that some people really hate.

11 Another Dad Who Commented On Things

One guy was startled by how his wife's lady parts...evolved...during labor. He said it looked like her whole body was being torn apart. According to Cosmo, this guy felt that his wife's private parts were being ripped apart, like a flimsy piece of tissue paper.

This guy sounds disturbed by what he saw. I guess it is pretty freaky to watch someone that you love's private parts change so much, so fast. As women, we usually don't think about what it would be like to watch our own partners go through something like that. It might be overwhelming in some ways. I think that guys probably feel very helpless when they are beside their ladies. Men can't really take away the pain of labor. All that they can do is let their partners know that they are there for them.

10 Too Much To Process

ZenParent

C-sections are real surgery, so it's unsurprising that one guy who was interviewed by Cosmopolitan was freaked out by the "gaping hole" in his partner's midsection after the baby was removed from her womb. It's true that C-sections are very common these days. This doesn't mean that guys who watch these surgical procedures aren't scared of what they are seeing. Surgeons are cutting into their romantic partners and this is freaky to witness.

If you're planning a C-section, you may want to prepare your partner.

Let him know what's going to happen. Some guys get faint when they see blood and your partner may be one of those guys. Educate yourself about the procedure. You may need a C-section even if you don't plan on having one, so reading up on this procedure and then sharing the information with your partner will be smart.

9 Dax Shepherd's Dramatic Experience

Huffington Post

Dax Shepherd said that his wife, Kristen Bell, had to go through thirty-three grueling hours of labor before having a C-section. According to Today.com, the C-section was very hard for him to watch. He felt like a passenger during a car crash! I think this means that he felt extremely helpless while something really serious was going on.

He tried to help his wife by playing music she liked and giving her a back rub. He was exhausted, although surely not as exhausted as his poor wife! Dax said that he could see under the C-section sheet and got a good glimpse of his wife's internal organs, as well as the new baby girl. Anyway, Kristin bounced back beautifully and the couple now have two children, Lincoln and Delta.

8 He Thought Childbirth Was 'Grisly'

One Quora.com member described the view of childbirth as a "grisly" one. However, that wasn't all that he thought about the labor process. It was just one element of his whole perception of the experience. It's probably pretty common for a guy to be a bit horrified by the blood and pain. Who wouldn't be? Most guys have these thoughts, but also see the magic in childbirth. They get both sides.

It's safe to say that the experience of watching someone give birth to your child will change you forever.

Women who watch other women give birth probably have the same feelings. It's rare to see a woman's body change so dramatically so quickly. It's a miracle, but there is a lot of grisliness before the baby comes. It's a lot for a witness to process.

7 Robbie Williams Felt A Sense Of Loss

Daily Mirror

Robbie Williams is an uber-famous British pop star who is known for shocking the public with his frank statements. He rarely holds back and he's provided the press with a lot of interesting sound bites over the years. When his wife was in labor, he was there to film it all and post about it on social media. He "live-tweeted" the experience. According to an article at The Telegraph, Robbie compared the experience of watching his wife's private parts change during labor as "watching his favorite pub burn down".

Don't worry, guys, female genitalia is incredibly elastic, so things do eventually revert to normal, or close to normal. You don't have to feel so sad. A woman can do Kegel exercises to tighten things up after the baby is born.

6 He Was Reprimanded During Labor

According to Mammamia.com, one man was transfixed while the doc stitched up his wife's private parts. Apparently, he was staring really hard and someone else in the labor room reprimanded him.

He was told to stop his staring!

It's kind of like staring at a car accident. It's so unpleasant, but we can't look away. He probably didn't even realize that he was staring. He was in an altered state. I doubt his partner even noticed. By the time a baby is born, most women are completely exhausted. I don't really remember anything that happened right after my baby was born. I was a physical wreck at that point in time. The next day, I felt like I'd been hit by a Mack truck.

5 He Was Shirtless During Childbirth

One man went shirtless before his baby was born. The midwife wanted him to take off his shirt so he could experience "skin to skin" contact with his new baby. This information comes from Mammamia.com. It's possible that he felt quite self-conscious while he was taking off his shirt in front of the midwife. However, he did take off his shirt. He went for it and then cuddled his newborn as soon as it was born. It was probably one of the most memorable moments of his life.

Did your doctor or midwife ask your partner to take his shirt off? I haven't heard of this before, but maybe it's more common than I realized. Would you be ok with your partner being shirtless during labor?

4 He Cried Like Kim K During Labor

Kim Kardashian has cried on her reality TV show. She is human. One guy who was there with his wife in the labor room confessed that he sobbed "like a Kardashian" when he saw his newborn for the very first time. This real-life story comes from Mammamia.com.

Guys are often uncomfortable with crying. A lot of them have been raised to view male crying as weakness. However, times have changed. Some guys are now more open about their feelings and this is a good thing.

This guy was having a very emotional experience and he's not afraid to tell the world about it.

Watching his baby come out was profound for him. At least he didn't need to worry about his makeup running while he cried, like Kim K.

3 He Found The Labor Experience Kinda Icky

Is watching childbirth magical, or it is gross? For one guy who talked to a reporter at Everdayfamily.com, it was both. Another guy who weighed in on childbirth at the same website said that he'd gutted wild animals after hunting, but still couldn't handle the sight of a woman giving birth.

Every guy is different. If you want your man in the labor room, think about his personality. Is he going to be able to handle it? The "magical but gross" point of view is the most common experience that guys have. However, there are some guys who think that watching a vaginal delivery is just too much. They truly cannot handle it.  Some guys may be better off in the waiting room.

2 He Probably Should Have Just Stayed Quiet

YouTube

This next true confession from a guy who witnessed labor is really juvenile. It's sort of a South Park take on things. According to Cosmopolitan.com, he likened childbirth to doing a big number two and then having to take care of the poop for eighteen full years. Do you think this is funny, or just stupid?

Hopefully, he didn't share this deep thought with his partner while she was in labor.

Also, he has hopefully evolved, so he doesn't think about his child as a piece of poop these days. Probably, this guy was just trying to entertain with his comments. It's possible that he found labor moving and poignant, but just doesn't want to talk about his feelings. Some guys don't like talking about the warm and fuzzy stuff.

1 Labor Reminded Him Of 'Alien'

One sci-fi movie fan found the experience of watching his lady give birth to be reminiscent of the scary science fiction flick, Alien. You know, the movie where the alien grows inside of a human body and then comes out in a very violent and destructive fashion which destroys the unlucky "host"?

According to Cosmopolitan, this guy did find it all a bit frightening. He's basically comparing childbirth to a horror movie. I saw Alien too young and it was terrifying.

If you're expecting, remember that your guy is going to be freaked out by labor, unless he's unusually calm, cool and collected. Be sure to consider his feelings before and after labor. During labor, he should be there for you. It's your time to receive his love and support.

References: Cosmopolitan.com, Motherhoodthetruth.comToday.com, Quora.com, Mammamia.com, Mammamia.com, Everydayfamily.com

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