Call us shallow and self-absorbed, we don’t even care. We don’t want kids and we’re not afraid to admit it. We’re happy with what we’ve got and we’re super excited for our futures – futures that are free of children and full of freedom. When it comes to kids, we’re opting for a hard pass on this front and, while it pains us that our parents feel cheated in not getting to hold a grandbaby, we can’t apologize for making a choice that will affect us for the rest of our lives.
While there are a lot of reasons why we don’t want kids, at the end of the day we don’t even need a reason. We’re simply doing you all a favour in passing down some legit information in an attempt to get you all off our backs about it. We know, we know. Children are the future. It’s our duty as women to house and birth a new generation, one that will be even smarter and more privileged than ours. But we want you to know how much we think that’s total BS! We’re the generation that is smart and privileged and we’re taking full advantage of the fact that we’re busting our butts to get ahead in life and enjoying what little luxury we have left at the end of the day. So what if we don’t want babies getting in the way of that?
In case you care to understand our reasoning behind our IUDs and Costco-sized boxes of condoms, we’ve put together a list that is only a fraction of the reasons why we choose our lives over the lives of our non-existent children.
15 Our Career Comes First
In the last thirty years, it has never been more important for a woman to have a career than it is right now. For millennial women, this life path is drilled into our heads at an early age; get good grades, go to college, get your degree, find a career, dominate. It’s a lot of pressure that we have to take on before we’ve even hit puberty. So when we finally get comfortable and feel secure in a position we’ve worked so hard for, the last thing we want to do is take a long maternity leave and risk being forced out of the system. After working so hard to earn a career that’s all ours, that we are skilled at and passionate about, giving it all up to raise people who will have more opportunities than us seems like wasted effort. And while society has drilled this idea into our heads, we’re still called “selfish” when we choose it over starting a family.
14 We Don’t Want To Settle
When it comes to settling down, either in life or with a partner, it can be a messy and scary thought for millennial women. Having kids means abandoning everything you want to do in life in favour of changing diapers and forever running low on money. We want to experience everything – concerts, spontaneous vacations, volleyball on the beach, happy hour, road trips – and unfortunately, that adventurous side crumbles the moment you become a mother. Add the fact that actually finding someone you want to share parenting with is darned impossible, settling for just anyone isn’t in the cards for us strong women. Between Tinder-hopping and playing the game of dating roulette, we’re taking our time and enjoying what our lives have become in choosing to not settle. And why should we when we can get everything we want without a partner or a little human depending on us?
13 We Have Too Many Life Options
When our generation finally reaches adulthood and realizes the endless options made available to us, we experience a major case of ADD and FOMO, both at the same time. We don’t know what to do with our lives and we feel as if we’re missing out if we choose the wrong thing. Our ancestors had very little options; learn how to read and write, work for fifty years, buy a house, start a family, retire. Now, we’re able to pursue a variety of different educations, learning different skills, and become a student for life, or we can work remotely from any country in the world. We can take time off from starting our careers in favour of spending our summers being a fisherman, learning another language, being a bartender or lifeguard on a cruise ship, or simply pursue our wanderlusting instincts. Life is complicated, so why add a baby to the mix who will only cause you to hit pause on it all?
12 We Still Live At Home
Getting by as a millennial woman is no picnic. Many of us are forced, or choose, to return to the parents who raised us, paying little to no rent in an effort to get ahead in paying off our student loans and saving for a place of our very own. This reliable place of residence is ideal for someone who is still trying to figure it all out and needs the time to do so. While it’s tough on our parents who thought that they’d be free of us, it’s also not that exciting for us. While the initial embarrassment of moving back home isn’t what it used to be – instead, it’s become a logical choice – it still has a way of bruising our egos. And there’s nothing worse than attempting to get ahead in life while living with your parents and realizing that you’re pregnant. Instead of digging yourself out of a hole, you dig yourself deeper into one.
11 We’re Aware Of The World’s Destruction
After watching An Inconvenient Truth, its sequel, and virtually every other scary natural disaster caused by our greedy hands, millennials know what state this world is in, and the last thing we want to do is contribute to the world’s overpopulation, impact on global warming, and continuing to deplete our natural resources. Not only that, but the world is not a nice place. Between incompetent dictators and narcissistic, sociopathic world leaders, the place we call home is constantly being threatened by much more than rising temperatures and ocean levels. Since this is no place that we even want to be living, it’s not that hard to understand our reasoning for not wanting children to save them from this hella hard world, but also so that we do not continue to contribute to the problem.
10 We’re In Too Much Debt
We are not naive to the fact that children are expensive and, since education costed us an arm and a leg, we definitely don’t want to add any more expenses to our list. Once the debt from college, credit cards, and car loans finally gets paid off, we’ll only then be able to finally enjoy our hard-earned incomes and use it to save and spend it on things we actually want, like a home of our very own, the ability to travel, or even some super expensive shoes. Hey, we’re not saying they’re going to be smart purchases all the time. After all, this is finally our time to indulge in a meal that costs more than one at Subway, Chipotle, or on special occasions, an all-you-can-eat sushi night. We want to be able to crawl out of debt and spend our money on things we enjoy, and not on baby items.
9 We’re Too Selfish
Millennial women grew up in a world that some may view as privileged; free of worries, hardship, and parents who gave us everything we wanted (because they never had the same growing up). We grew up in a world where Internet was always around, smartphones became a thing as we hit high school, and the arrival of social media during our college days has kept us self-absorbed, distracted, and constantly pursuing the validation of others. While it may seem selfish, it’s just the world we grew up in. We put ourselves first because that’s what everyone did for us and we don’t know any other way. We may be “self-absorbed”, but it doesn’t mean we’re lazy or oblivious to it. We work damned hard for what we want, because we know that that’s what we need to do to get even more of what we want. And we’re making no apologies for it.
8 We Want To Change The World
Since the generations before ours chose to turn a blind eye at the world’s problems, we want to take them on as our metaphorical babies. In our effort to transform this world into a better place and make a name for ourselves in solving a global problem, we spend our time, money, and energy on giving back and helping others instead of raising a family. This effort fills us with more pride than having kids ever would and we feel as if we’d be lying to ourselves or not fulfilling a duty by not doing everything we can to improve the world, even if that simply means that we will not be having any children. If we were to have children, we’d be blurring our vision of making the world more sustainable and will be resentful of the fact that we’d want to buy machine-washable diapers, organic foods and linens, and strictly nationally produced toys, furniture, and strollers, all of which add up quickly.
7 We’re Squeamish When It Comes To Pregnancy & Labour
As much as we’re supposed to find the miracle of childbirth beautiful and amazing, we just don’t. We have never had a shred of desire to want to put our bodies through those long months of discomfort. When we picture a human growing within another human, we shudder at the thought of someone feeding off our meals from within us, stretching our abdomens and rearranging our organs as a result. We are afraid of ruining our bodies with stretch marks, tearing, and scars, and we’re not ashamed of it. The idea of pushing a human being out of an area we constantly try to keep clean and presentable seems like the opposite of our attempts, plus we’re not sure if we can endure the pain of it all. We’ve hardly had to deal with any sort of pain in our entire lives, so picturing ourselves go through the most painful experience a woman could go through just makes us shake our heads and say, “Nah”.
6 We’re Too Self-Aware
We’ve determined that having a baby does not impact your life like it did fifty years ago; we now have the choice and luxury and duty to not have kids, unlike our grandparents who needed to reproduce to jumpstart the economy and run the family farm or business. All of those valid reasons do not apply today. We have wicked birth control options and, ultimately, we have choices. We also know that having babies won’t fix anything – marriages, boredom, social status – because we’ve seen these attempts play out and we’ve learned from the mistakes of others. We appreciate that not everyone has the desire to be a mother and we’ve also obtained rights that makes this lack of desire valid. We don’t have to become a mom just because “our clocks our ticking” and ain’t nobody gonna be able to make us feel guilty for not feeling rushed to fulfill some part of ourselves that others tell us we’re missing.
5 We’re Independent AF
It seems that with each passing decade, women are becoming more and more strong, accomplished, and independent. With the rise of feminism, our beliefs that we’re as entitled to everything that a man is entitled to has fueled us with a passion to perform beyond the stereotypical mom and wife roles and into positions of power and dominance. We do not want to be controlled and we do not want to rely on anybody, even our partners. We want to be financially, as well as physically, independent. We want to do whatever we want, whenever we want, and with whomever we want. We want zero attachment to people or things, and children will only keep us grounded and wanting more out of life. Having children immediately puts us back into the role that has dominated us for centuries, and we have too much pride to let that happen.
4 Real Estate Trumps Nursery Decor & Daycare
Once us millennials finally pay off our debt, our next financial milestone is to save for a house or property, and it’s hardly ever saved in hopes of starting a family. It is on us to create a life for ourselves, and this includes setting ourselves up in a home that is all ours and that we’re comfortable in. Houses do not cost $5,000 like they did a hundred years ago, and they rarely get passed down or stay in the family. Owning a home that we’ve paid for ourselves is more important to us than spending money on baby food, toys, cribs, car seats, and other expensive things that a baby needs. We want a place that’s all ours, that’s decorated in the furniture and accents that we love and have earned, full of unsafe items, corners and edges that won’t have to be protected from a curious baby.
3 We Want To Enjoy Our Lives While We Can
After struggling for so long to get by – both personally and as an homage to women throughout time – we feel as if we’re entitled to a little “me time”, whether that lasts one year or the rest of our lives. By the time we’ve reached thirty years of age, we may have just started to get ahead in our careers, but we definitely haven’t made a significant enough dent in our debt. Once our education is behind us, we’ll have a mortgage hanging over us, so any leftover income is going to be spent on us. We want to live while we’re young and maybe learn how to relax. Maybe we’ll learn how to cook, garden, or paint. We are allowed to do what finally makes us happy because we’ve kicked our butts to get here and we’d risk giving up our freedom once babies enter the picture.
2 We Think We’ll Stink As Mothers
Aside from our beliefs that our lives have finally been earned, we also have a deep fear that even if we were to give in to the desire to procreate with someone we love, we have no idea how to be a parent. We are scared that we’ll have zero motherly instincts because we don’t like kids, feel awkward around babies, and we cringe at the idea of having to clean vomit and food off of our floor (which is exactly why we also refuse to get a dog). In an effort to be perfect our whole lives, we feel as if being a great mother would be an extra weight that we're not sure we’re ever going to be ready to take on. Aside from the fact that we’re also super selfish in pursuing our own interests, we’re afraid that a baby will jeopardize all of that and that we’ll end up resenting them for unknowingly stealing our dreams away from us.
1 We’re Afraid Of The Risk Of Mental Health Issues
Since mental health is such a pressing issues nowadays – from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and suicides – and is something more people are learning to live with, we’re scared that all of that burden will also affect our children. We hope that these worrisome thoughts won’t riddle them with pressure and self-doubt and anxiety like it does for us, but if we have to deal with these issues as a parent, how can our babies not end up mentally damaged? We also won’t know the first thing about fighting our own mental health diseases if our child is also going through the same thing. We wonder if we’ll be able to be there for them in the way that they need and deserve.
Sources: TheRooster.com, Mic.com