We encounter aphrodisiacs in the food we eat and the scents we smell, but it seems like some people are finding them laced in their careers! Around every bend is a teacher having her third child and a farmer ushering in his seventh bundle of joy (and by “bundle of joy”, I mean “farm hands”).
Sometimes, the nature of the career motivates building a family. Other times, the types of people who are likely to have several children all seem to collect in similar employment positions. For example, models might not seem like natural family builders, but the sensual environment inspires a lot of family-building activity!
Or, in the other instance, careers like pediatricians carry an appreciation for the place of children in our lives, so they generally tend to have as many children as they do patients! Is it possible that firemen tend to have large families as well? Could it be the excitement and danger of the job or an appreciation for life that would causes these men to have large families?
It’s interesting to study the relationship between career and family. And it can be humorous, which is definitely a welcome element in our discussion of career-oriented baby booms!
Let’s explore careers that have that extra level of…productivity. You know, those employees who just put everything they have into their workmanship! Maybe they should apply for tax deductions, because there’s clearly some work going on at home too.
Here are 15 careers that come with the fringe benefit of baby booms. It might not be scientifically proven, but it sure is fun to speculate!
15 Actors And Actresses
You know what I’m thinking. All those steamy scenes, those dimly-lit fantasy romances to strike sensuality in everyone in the room – especially the two people going through the motions!
We sit behind computers, make business deals, or fix automotive transmissions, and we still find the motivation to have children (it doesn’t take much, does it?). So, those who spend their careers in shower scenes are undoubtedly bringing some of that steam home! Perhaps the most difficult element of their careers is not having children every 9 months on the dot!
Some actresses avoid childbearing for significant times to focus on their careers. So, maybe it’s the actors who alone bear this burden! By day, actor – by night, baby boomer. Or, the other way around; I don’t know how cinema works.
14 Professional Athletics
It comes with all of that muscle building. It builds with all of that healthy, nutrient-rich eating. With the lifestyle of body transformation, body focus, and body devotion comes the beast some have lost somewhere in their basements: libido.
For male and female athletes alike, exercise and muscle-building diets generally come with company – a small and powerful friend. Often, the more you sustain your body, the higher your libido might be, so these athletes are swimming in it!
And, imagine those who take performance enhancing steroids, overflowing with testosterone. Maybe the new investigative red flag for performance enhancing drugs in the sports industry should be the number of children the athlete has at home. “It says here you have 9 beautiful children at home. Care to tell us where you got all that energy?” Zing.
13 Teachers And Teachers Aids
Teachers, unlike the imagined baby booms of the acting and athletic industries, are family builders before they even enter the school doors. Most people who become teachers love and adore children long before their careers begin – we hope!
So, we can expect them to have baby booms of their own! And, if a teacher finds love within the school, swooning for the way she writes on her chalkboard or makes stern corrections on tests, just imagine the intensity of family-building desires! She wanted 4 kids and he always dreamed of having 3 – will they end up with 3? 4? 7? Who can say?
If they don’t have that sincere passion for shaping children’s lives like we expect teachers to, maybe those teachers will still have a pile of children to promote job security!
12 Modeling And Photographers
Perhaps even more intensely sensual than the acting careers we discussed earlier is the career of the model. Not only are models surrounded in sensual environments like the actors, but they’re also looking at the – societally determined (sigh) – best looking people in the world!
He has been modeling since he was 16. Mostly sports stuff, so he’s been exposed to nothing but other great-looking men holding baseball bats or basketballs. But today starts his new gig at a co-gender magazine. He walks into the studio and something washes over him like a wave.
Is it nerves? This is new for him. Is it gas? He did have that burrito from the corner market. No – it’s a sudden, revitalizing inspiration to find a partner and have 15 children! What a powerful photo shoot must be taking place!
11 Drilling Rig Hands
In the northeast, we see this boom a lot. As the natural gas industry booms, so does that of the baby!
Sure, there are decent local jobs, but they don’t compare to the paycheck the oil company is paying for those who pack up and work 2-week-long shifts. Or 3-week-long. Or 4. Whatever it is, you know that rig worker and his or her partner is ready for action come time for a week off!
Nothing cures bedroom problems like a week on, week off schedule! A disinterested partner suddenly becomes very invested when faced with absence. And, beyond increased sexual drive to childbearing, this distance might result in the realization that this is it, and they want to build a family together! Hurray, gas industry! (Don’t tell the oil tycoons – they’d market this.)
10 Pastors
How could I not include the pastor? For various reasons, he has a large number of offspring. Some abstain from contraceptives, so the baby boom – ready or not – is coming. Others might use contraceptives occasionally, but generally desire to have several children to raise in the church.
Of course, this career is specific in its benefits of baby booms. Not all clergymen and their families enjoy that fringe benefit equally. As you know, Catholic Priests take no wives and father no children. When you’re checking into the validity of my ramblings, don’t poll the priest!
We’re looking at a career, or calling, that carries either the highest rate of childbearing or the lowest! Something for everyone!
9 Military Members
Similar to the rig hands, members of the military spend excruciatingly long periods of time away from their loved ones, heightening the intensity of the return. And this is a career that can be quite dangerous in times of war, so it's no wonder that men and women wearing uniform want to make a physical connection before they ship out.
Furthermore, though, military employment also carries that awareness of life’s brevity and delicacy. So, there is much desire and incentive to build a family in the here and now! That undoubtedly inspires in our military members something worth fighting for.
And, what a powerful image this is! Daddy returning home to twin girls, everyone teary-eyed and rejoicing. Mommy flying in to her little boys, sighing in relief as they wrap their loving arms around her. This one wins most tearful baby boom.
8 Amusement Park Attendant
What? Who are amusement park attendants? The unnoticed and unseen backbones of our amusement park experiences. The valiant men and women who ensure all buckles are secure, get the ride ready, and hit the “go” button all while not getting to ride the rollercoasters themselves. Sigh.
These attendants spend their sunny days watching and interacting with families in their most blissful moments. Mom is taking pictures of her little girl on the swings. Two brothers are giddily buckling their seatbelts as they bet who screams first. Dad is wearing a fanny pack to everyone’s chagrin. Yes, simple, unbridled fun.
Nothing makes you want to have a family more than these brightly-colored scenes. Would my son sit in the front or the back of the train? Would my little girl choose pink or blue cotton candy? Let’s find out!
7 Emergency Medical Responders
I didn’t say “doctors” because their high stress and long hours don’t exactly inspire a family. I didn’t write “firefighters” because their adrenaline-pumped, high-risk job isn’t exactly childbearing material. Doctors and firefighters would and do make lovely parents, but we’re here for the boom.
Emergency medical responders have a unique position in that they see the value and brevity of life without encountering severe danger themselves or dedicating long, consuming hours to their post. And, with the mentality to preserve and prolong human life, responders are undoubtedly natural family builders!
Talk about a couple well-equipped for the panic of labor and birth! I wonder if the panicked drive to the hospital with a wife in labor is a breeze for the responder.
6 Bakers And Chefs
No, I didn’t choose bakers because they just want an excuse to make triple dessert or put some irony in the statement of having a bun in the oven. Of course it would be handy to take all the leftovers home after a long hard day. “Well, better also make a cake for each child. Yes, for the children.”
Bakers have a passion for the simple, delicate parts of life. They devote incredible amounts of energy and intention to their works. They understand and cherish that each piece is a delicate formation of themselves. Sounds a lot like children, huh?
Yes, the values that inspire bakers align well with the values that make us want to have children of our own – little life-inspiring beings that we love to pour our effort into. (Unless the baker just wants to dominate a kitchen, which is a whole different style of parenting.)
5 Politicians
Politicians aren’t exactly symbols of passion or self-sacrificial love, they don’t have much time to raise a family, and they already have departments, cities, and states to run, so why would they be a source of children? Because it looks good.
You want to be governor? Better get a husband and have 2 children for the posters. You want to be a congressman? Going to need a wife and a child. You almost get the sense that all legislators are like Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries, forced to marry or forced to step down from the throne. How can you run a city if you don’t run a home? The people cry out. Riot outbreaks. Chaos.
Somehow, if we see a photo of a political candidate with their children, we are immediately prepared to offer them our vote, our trust, our souls. No wonder they keep the family going! “They trusted me more once I had a child. Let’s have 9.”
4 Farmers
Mom and dad have been milking cows, bailing hay, and feeding livestock for years. It’s about time they get someone else to do it!
And those someone elses are in infinite supply! As farmers, they know firsthand that having offspring expands a farm. They watch the cows give birth to expand their dairy supply, the hens lay eggs to increase the egg business, and the pigs give birth to increase the sale of … you know.
Having children provides farm hands and ensures that the animals will be cared for once they grow unable to carry those giant bags of feed! Children of almost every age can contribute to the farm, so no one wants babies like they do!
Or, maybe it’s just that she likes the way he carries that bale of hay on his shoulders. It’s probably that.
3 Pediatricians
Of course, pediatricians have a passion for bringing children into the world – the value of children in our lives is no more appreciated than it is in the pediatrician. Who could spend day in and day out around these little cuties and not want to have one or five of their own?
Imagine, a day full of smiling children even though their little tummies or heads are struggling with something. Or, tearful little kids who will still crack a heartwarming smile when the doctor pulls the sticker book out. You can almost see the pediatrician’s heart melting into the cold, hospital floor.
Yes! They must have some children of their own! Some tiny, sticker-loving delights to spend sunny summer days and cold, snuggly winter nights with. Their compassion and their ability to communicate well with children will make those days all the better.
2 Small Business Owners
The small business owner is unique in that she has a natural propensity toward having children with her value of small, simple living, fulfilled by kind gestures and friendly faces. It makes it all worthwhile when she makes someone’s day with her coffee of the day or her newly painted canvas. Imagine making someone’s day every day! Your kid’s!
She also has a career-driven desire to build a family – who’s going to run the shop when she’s 70, enjoying brunch with her girlfriends? Her children, that’s who. It’s about time they started helping around here.
And nothing makes a small business more delightful than a family atmosphere! At my favorite coffee shop, the owner is scooping ice cream as the daughter is whipping up lattes. The feel is great. So, they have our support for baby booming!
1 Unemployed Peeps
Surprised? You shouldn’t be. They’ve watched every show on Netflix and seemingly every show on television. They don’t have enough cash to go to their favorite restaurant tonight. So, now what do they do for the remaining 11 hours of the day? The dirty!
And, why not? The children are at school. The house is clean. The lawn is mowed. All signs are pointing to the bedroom (as if anyone needs a sign to find it). Perhaps this is a neon perk of the frustrating stage of unemployment: ample alone time! Just think of the support mom and dad must be giving each other, and then all that support turns into some pretty intense desire.
With our modern, rushed lifestyles, babies aren’t booming like they used to. However, in these corners of our society, there is a little baby boomer left in us.
Sources: The Little Things, Buzzfeed