Look up "permissive parenting" on the internet and lots of articles will pop up by experts on why it is becoming an epidemic family problem. Why? Because kids need guidance, boundaries, and rules. They don't need a giant live-in buddy, as there are plenty of friends who will flitter in and out of their lives. They need stability and security, not a bestie-mom or dad.
Of course, what constitutes strictness to one family may be pretty laid-back to another, so like with all things, moderation and balance should be darn near mantras. While I'd never encourage a newer parent to look to a celebrity for parenting role models, it can be interesting and sometimes fun to see if one of your faves says similar things to you, or does things in a way that you do it in your family. Or it can be somewhat encouraging if they seem to validate your opinions on child-rearing.
But let's make no mistake, very few celebs have child development or child psychology degrees. You can get some ideas, encouragement or cautionary tales from a famous actor or singer, or actress or musician, but never try to pattern your child's upbringing on what Pink, a Kardashian or even a Modern Family star does.
15 Reese's Southern Charming Discipline
Reese Witherspoon doesn't seem like she could ever sound mad. Not ever! Not with that sweet twang in her voice and that adorable, ever-youthful face. But she has kids, so I know it has to happen sometimes. She is a mom to beautiful Ava, 18, and darling boys Deacon, 14, and Tennessee, 5.
She explains that her parenting method is now wearing off on her kids.
While appearing on Conan O'Brien's show she shared, "When I get really mad, I get really Southern," she said, then went on, "I’ll give you a ‘sit-to’ which just means you have to sit down and listen to what I have to say. If you really make me mad, then I give you ‘what-for,’ which is a whole other thing you don’t want to get involved in… My daughter says the other day — she’s born in California, but she said, ‘And I gave that person a sit-to, and I told them what-for.’ It’s seeping in, I’m so excited!”
14 Mila The Scrooge?
Mila Kunis, star of That 70s Show alongside now hubby Ashton Kutcher, and star of Bad Moms, is a mom to a 3-year-old daughter, Wyatt, and her 1-year-old son, Dimitri. She is a devoted parent, and frequently disarmingly funny about her approach to parenting. She is honest about the pains-in-the-posterior related to mommyhood, but equally in love with being a mom. Just like most of us! But she got some flak when she admitted in a pre-holiday interview with Entertainment Tonight that she and Ashton were instituting some new Christmas guidelines: "So far, our tradition is no presents for the kids."
She also added: "We're instituting it this year because when the kids are [younger than] one, it doesn't really matter. Last year when we celebrated Christmas, Wyatt was two, and it was too much. We didn't give her anything — it was the grandparents. The kid no longer appreciates the one gift. They don't even know what they're expecting; they're just expecting stuff. We've told our parents, 'We're begging you — if you have to give her something, pick one gift. Otherwise, we'd like to take a charitable donation, to the Children's Hospital or a pet [or] whatever you want.' That's our new tradition."
Strict yes. Mean? I don't think so! I am sure their kids are not playing with sticks and blades of grass.
13 Brooke Shields-From Endless Love To Endless Parenting
Brooke Shields has been famous longer than even she can remember. She literally grew up on camera, beautiful at every stage and age including her present early-50s stage. She has two gorgeous mini-me daughters, Rowan age 14, and Grier, nearly 12. When the girls were younger Brooke told People magazine,
“I always feel like the odd mom out, because trust me when I tell you I’m on my girls. And every time I am, I know from the outside it looks like I’m an overbearing, controlling parent. But I don’t think we have any responsibility to anybody else but our kids and ourselves.”
Now she admits her relationship with her older daughter is complicated with her coming-of-age. “I’m going psychotic about what I’m dealing with, with men looking at her and looking at her body... I mean, this is my 14-year-old! At the top of the stairs I can see her rolling her skirt up. I’m like, ‘Unroll your skirt.’ It’s a constant negotiation,” she said. Strict and smart mommy!
12 Swatting Singer, Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson is a wholesome, down-home singer who shot to fame on American Idol and is one of the most successful alums of the show. Now married and a stepmom, as well as mother to two toddlers, daughter River Rose and son Remy, Clarkson hit some sour notes with certain folks for her statements on disciplining her kids.
In an interview with radio.com, Clarkson said, "I'm not above a spanking, which people aren't necessarily into," she continued, "And I don't mean like [...] her hard, I just mean a spanking." She went on to explain her perspective, "My parents spanked me, I did fine in life and I feel fine about it…” she said, later adding "…I'm from the South, y'all, so we get spankings. My mom would call the principal if I ever ended up in the principal's office and give permission for her to spank me...I’m a well-rounded individual with a lot of character, so I think it's fine."
Many parenting groups warn that this way of disciplining is harmful, but many of us did grow up like Clarkson and don't feel damaged. Perhaps it should be taken into consideration the manner, the age and the personality of the child, as well as the situation as a whole.
11 Strict Mommy Jessica Gives Time Outs And Tells Off
Lovely Jessica Alba and handsome hubby Cash Warren have three little ones together; daughters Honor Marie, 9, and Haven, 6, plus now a new son, Hayes, who was born this past New Year's Eve. While Alba looks like she could be a pushover mom, that is a wrong impression, according to the actress herself. "‘So when Honor tries to do something she shouldn't, I have to say to Cash, 'Let her know right from the beginning that she can't'.
I'll put her in time-out and tell her, “Think about the choices you've made',"
she explained to Parenting Magazine.
"I'm the disciplinarian. I think it's because I was kind of a naughty kid myself - I'd push my parents' buttons and test them to see how much I could get away with."
10 Sarah Michelle Gellar Gets Serious About Food Waste
Sarah Michelle Gellar (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) and hubby Freddie Prinze, Jr. married in 2002 and have two children, Charlotte age 8, and Rocky age 5. The couple may have started out in the business while still kids, but they are now in their 40s and still look fabulous. So you might expect a Hollywood star couple to be more extravagant than this down to earth family actually is. Here's an example of their family's philosophies and parenting style.
Gellar doesn't want their kids to be wasteful or think that food magically appears in their house, so she has some strict rules. She told Working Mother: "My daughter was doing this thing lately where she was asking me for a cup of milk and not drinking it. So I told her that every time she’d ask me for a cup of milk and not drink it, I would take a quarter out of her piggy bank. Someone has to pay for that milk.”
They don't get money for chores, as those tasks are just expected of them. She is also not the only disciplinarian in the house; though she says Freddie thinks his wife is tougher on their daughter, and he on their son. She also says the kids know the kitchen isn't a restaurant: "I do a lot of cooking with the kids. I’m big on child labor. The kids have to help with the mashed potatoes. You want them to understand what the process is. Everything doesn’t come from a box in your house.”
9 Hugh Jackman Has Higher Expectations For His Kids
The star of Wolverine, Les Miserables and other mega-hits, has been married to his wife, Deborra for 22 years. They tried starting a family, and hit some snags, and decided to adopt. Their children are now teens, with Oscar Maximilian now 17 going on 18, and Ava Eliot will turn 13 this summer.
Hugh doesn't want to raise entitled children and said in a Parade magazine interview:
"I constantly talk to them about respect and gratitude. I say, 'Unfortunately, I’m going to be tougher on you than I would be if I wasn’t famous, because people are actually going to be less tough on you in life.'
In a way they have to be better behaved, be more respectful, have more gratitude than other kids. I try to keep their life as down-to-earth as possible. I really do."
8 No-Nonsense Parenting By Denzel
Denzel Washington has had an amazing career, but if you ask him about success, his thoughts quickly turn from movies to family. He and wife Pauletta have been married for an astounding 34 years in Hollywood. They have four children, all grown; John David is 33(!) and played football for the Rams, and is now in movies himself; Katia is 30 and is in film production, and twins Olivia and Malcolm are 27.
Malcolm and Olivia both got theater degrees and are busy acting all over the place. Denzel believes in hands-on parenting and shared this with The Guardian:
"But a child doesn't know right from wrong, so moral instruction is important. I remember my eldest boy saying 'Dad, I always thought you were so strict – now I appreciate it.'
Free will can be a double-edged sword. By the age of 21, my son could see that."
7 Eastwood On Eastwood: Two Tough Guys
Clint Easton's son Scott Eastwood is a rising star, having appeared in one of the Fast and Furious series films, and most notably Suicide Squad. Scott tells of a childhood of awe-inspiring moments, being on set with his dad, flying his dad's helicopter and hearing stories that are priceless about people and experiences most have never heard. But his dad didn't come close to spoiling him, and he feels proud of hustling his way to the top. When he'd ask for money for a vehicle, not a sports car or anything obscene, his dad would tell him to do it on his own.
But once he made a mistake that his father made clear would not happen again, according to the son's interview with GQ. At 16 Scott had taken his younger sister, who was only 14, to a party and left her.
Dad threw him against a wall, holding him aggressively, and "He popped me and said, ‘You don’t ever leave your sister at a party. EVER.’ And it was very old-school, very old-school of him. He wasn’t afraid. None of this new-age bullshit where you can’t even smack the kid because everyone’s afraid of being judged or whatever. That wasn’t the way that shit went down in that family... If you did something wrong, you were going to get punished. I learnt quickly – you don’t do that.”
6 Solange Doesn't Play
Solange Knowles is probably best known for being Beyonce's sister, but she is also a singer, composer, actress, and model. She also had an album out at 17, when she also married and had a son in short order. She calls her son her greatest unplanned blessing, but wishes she had been older when starting a family. Her son, Daniel Julez Smith, Jr. is 13 years old, and everyone who's raised teens just gave an empathetic sigh knowing what she's headed for.
But a few years ago she gave a synopsis of her 3- part discipline method to The Young Black and Fabulous,
"If he gets completely out of line, I do the 3 steps: 1 is the look and talk; 2 is taking away something of value to him; 3, you need your butt popped. You don’t have to do it often, like twice or three times a year. And he remembers it.”
We know she's serious; we saw that elevator ride with brother-in-law Jay-Z!
5 Too Chill Will And Jada
Will Smith and wife Jada Pinkett Smith have gotten lots of attention for the unusual upbringing they've given their kids, Willow age 17, and Jaden 19. (Will has an older son, as well with his ex, Trey who is an actor and a DJ) Will explains their parenting philosophy in an interview with E Online: "We [Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith] don't do punishment."
He went on: "The way that we deal with our kids is, they are responsible for their lives. Our concept is, as young as possible, give them as much control over their lives as possible and the concept of punishment, our experience has been—it has a little too much of a negative quality. So when they do things—and you know, Jaden, he's done things—you can do anything you want as long as you can explain to me why that was the right thing to do for your life."
Will explains that their bodies belong to them, so if Jaden wants to wear a dress and Willow wants to cut off all her hair, that's their right. They also said they don't tell the kids to clean their room or such things, because that's disrespectful. Well, I hope that all works out, but we won't be trying that philosophy out anytime soon.
4 Leah Remini Babying Her Girl
Leah Remini is best known for her role starring on the hit TV show, King of Queens, and then for her reality show, her series outing Scientology, and now on Kevin Can Wait. She is also married since 2003 and has one daughter, Sofia, who is 13. She is also stepmom to 3 sons. However, she made some news as a total pushover mom when Sofia was younger.
Back in 2008 when Sofia was nearly 4, Leah appeared on Rachel Ray's show and confessed she couldn't wean her daughter off the bottle.
At that time Sofia was still taking up to 6 bottles a night, was still in diapers, and had her parents frazzled. The issue? Leah couldn't stand to hear her daughter cry. Something many a soft-hearted mama has had to overcome, but this was on the definite extreme side. Rachel Ray got a child development expert to help the family get through the weaning process.
3 Briana DeJesus Is Way Too Cool With The Plastic Topic
Briana DeJesus is a reality TV show star, from Teen Mom 2. At just 23 years of age, she is mom to daughters Nova, 6, and Stella, 9 months. After giving birth to her second daughter, she considered adoption but chose to raise Stella. What she did go through with was plastic surgery, including getting her tummy tucked and her breasts (second time) and butt done.
She told Radar that after she went for a breast augmentation surgery, her daughter noticed the change: "And she was like, 'What is in there?' I told her that a doctor opened me up and put stuff to make my boobs bigger. She goes, 'I want my boobs done.'...If she wants something to make her happy and to boost her self-confidence up, I'm all for it." How sweet! The child isn't even old enough for puberty and already thinking of getting implants. What could be healthier?
2 Is Kim K Modeling Self-Love Or Exploitation?
If you are like me and try to avoid all things Kardashian, you might need reminding that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's first child together, North West, is now 4 years old. That's what made this next tidbit all the more disturbing. A couple months ago, the preschooler snapped a topless pic of Mommy for her internet followers.
She states she wants her children to feel proud of their bodies.
Yes, OK, that's an OK sentiment but is cashing in on your body and using a child to do so really a healthy thing? I have 7 kids, and they really don't like seeing all that flesh exposed on a parent. Once weaned, you can cover those puppies up! Some folks claim it's all positive and people should get over it, but I think it's just that the apples, er apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
1 Kris Jenner Is Way Beyond Stage Mom
Although most parts are far newer, Kris Jenner is 62 and mom to 6 kids. Her parenting is beyond chill and downright chilling. Here are just a few examples. She told her daughter Khloe that the girl needed a nose job. Honest? Maybe? Appropriate? No, not at age 9! She pushed daughter Kim to do a Playboy shoot when her daughter was reluctant to do so -- hard to believe now! Caring more for the moolah than the kids, she pushed the younger kids out of the nest and cut off Kylie financially at age 14.
So the girl had to work and never focused on school, especially since the younger sibs were taken out of school to be home-schooled so they could focus on their careers. She let her 16 year old date a 25-year-old, in the case of Kylie and rapper Tyga. It's widely believed that Kris was behind the "leak" of her daughter Kim's infamous and fame-making tape. She has pushed the girls into the endless cycle of plastic surgeries, chasing youth and beauty and fame, for the ultimate goal of money to the demise of anything else. And her son? He doesn't make the cut for attention from mom hardly ever! Sorry! He's not hot enough to profit off of.
References: Fame10.com, Ranker.com, LifeandStyleMag.com, PopSugar.com, EOnline.com, MadameNoir.com, GQ.com.au, TheGuardian.com, HelloMagazine.com, WorkingMother.com, DailyMail.co.uk, People.com, Brit.co, and Today.com.