It’s Male Form Appreciation Day! Yes, today we will take a look at all the celebrity dads who cut quite the striking figure, from their heads to their toes, and everywhere in-between if ya catch my drift.
Now, before you go thinking this is sexist, and demeaning to men, please take a moment to remember that we aren’t issuing cat calls from an open window, or pinching a man’s butt on a crowded bus. We are simply admiring physical attributes, from the safe distance of a home computer.
Honestly, let it be known that every part of these photos was scanned for initial beauty before the writer’s eyes were distracted…elsewhere. It’s a simple case of "it was right in front of me”.
And let’s also add that some of these guys volunteered for the ogling. Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, and Matt Bomer actually starred in a movie where their important “membership" qualified each of them to be chairman of the board. They are begging for us to look.
Other stars are famous because the uniform of their job is short shorts, which leave little to the imagination. Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham fall into this camp. We aren’t being perverts as much as we are provocateurs of pure beauty. Yes, let's call it that.
Let us not feel guilty even if poor James Marsden was scoped out on a walk with his dog. We are doing no harm, no foul by merely absorbing the visual world around us.
It’s okay to look. We are wives, we are mothers, and we take those jobs seriously. But goodness knows we are not dead! If anything, a healthy regard for the male form tells us we are very much alive and happy to have gorgeous men by our side.
15 Channing Tatum
The guy worked as an actual stripper- did you think that was a wocket in his pocket?
No, 37-year-old Channing Tatum has the actual goods, beautifully displayed in this sexy black and white photo from his younger days modeling for Abercrombie & Fitch.
After attending college in West Virginia, Tatum dropped out and moved back to Florida. There, he started stripping at a local nightclub under the name “Chan Crawford”. One thing led to another, and after a string of movies, Tatum got the opportunity to bring his hustling days to life. He was cast as the lead stripper in Steven Soderbergh’s Magic Mike.
Tatum captivates with more than his full complement of oversized, masculine features. Women appreciate his easy smile and level of commitment. Online, Tatum regularly sings the praises of his wife of eight years, Jenna Dewan.
14 Ryan Gosling
Ryan Gosling memes are plastered on every bulletin board of the school where I work. Gosling reminds me that “Glitter looks good in your hair” and that “teaching is hard, and everything will be alright, Girl”. Gosling is good for us ladies at work, I tell you.
Indeed, a University of Saskatchewan study showed that men are more likely to agree with feminist statements after looking at Ryan Gosling memes. See, Gosling is good for us, Ladies.
Gosling has been coupled with actress Eva Mendes since 2011 and has two daughters. “First of all, I’m a father. That changes you in every way—for the better,” he said. “It’s the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.” Gosling is good for us, ladies.
Just this past week, Gosling told Us Weekly that he regretted quitting ballet class. “I had an option to do ballet when I was a kid…I didn’t spend the time on it that I should have. But I really wish that I had because it can bring such a benefit to your life.” Sigh. Ryan Gosling is good for us, Ladies.
If you are still skeptical if Gosling is good for us, let me offer you a final tidbit to prove my case. There is a deleted prison scene from The Place Beyond The Pines. In it, Gosling is a bleached blonde with heavy tattoos, getting booked into prison. As he strips down to his tighty whitey’s you lose all sense of reason.
How can it be? How can one guy be so sweet, so handsome, so evolved, so blessed? This is when you know that on all fronts, God was good to Gosling, and Gosling is most definitely good for us.
13 Cristiano Ronaldo
As a soccer fan, this guy has been on my radar for a long time. At 6’1, The Portuguese forward, and father of three is the quintessential composite of tall, dark, and handsome.
So, imagine my surprise when upon researching this article (it was difficult, let me tell you) Ronaldo appears in many listings for well-endowed celebrities. How had that escaped me? I guess I’m not always a total pervert.
I had to see for myself. I put on my readers and settled in for a good look. Yes, he is a specimen. In picture after picture, Ronaldo is celebrated for his full-body physique. He has bulging thighs, bulging biceps, and a bulging… Oh yes, that too. Long after I should have started dinner, I was pushing my readers up the bridge of my nose and looking at endless photos of today’s hottest soccer player.
By the way, by the time I placed the dinner plates on the table, I had a new name for him. Cristiano Rodnaldo. I think it fits.
12 Matt Bomer
Matt Bomer was born in Missouri (something is in the water in the midwest) and as a child lived in Spring, Texas.
The smart and sexy 39-year-old attended Carnegie Mellon where he graduated with a BA in Fine Arts.
From there the actor moved to New York City and played Ian Kipling on All My Children.
And then Magic Mike. Yeah, yeah, I know there’s been a host of other roles, but let me say it again- Magic Mike. Yes, the charming shot above is Matt Bomer in all his glory in the film that also showcased this list’s Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey. You didn’t think they got cast for their looks, did you?
You can look at his bat, but hands off, Friends. Bomer doesn’t play for our team. In 2011, Bomer married publicist Simon Hall. Together, the couple has three sons.
11 Scott Disick
Scott Disick doesn’t have a Wikipedia page.
As a matter of fact, besides researching this article, I knew nothing about Disick other than that he was married to Kourtney Kardashian and that he’s spent a fair amount of time in rehab.
Born in Long Island in 1983, much of Disick’s celebrity has stemmed from being involved with the Kardashians. Disick has had years of alcohol and anger issues, recently compounded by the death of both of his parents in a three-month time frame. But even before that, Kris Jenner compared Disick’s temper to that of O.J. Simpson (her late ex-husband defended the fallen football star when he was charged with murder).
Disick is currently separated from Kourtney Kardashian. In May, Kardashian said she could no longer trust Disick and his philandering ways.
For the record, there are plenty of internet pages which discuss Disick and his prodigious privates.
10 Prince William
He’s married to the great English beauty, Duchess Katherine. So, Prince Willaim is decidely off-limits. But that doesn’t mean we’re blind to the Crown Jewels that he is bedecked with.
I’m a tad embarrassed to admit that when I first saw this precious photo (which includes other people) all I noticed was the royal scepter shining through Willaim’s perfectly pressed and dapper khakis.
“Let me see that!” I screamed at my husband, holding the iPad.
“Are you staring at his junk?” Husband cried.
“How can you not?” I cried indignintly. “It’s staring at me!”
I’m not completely disgusting. Pictured in the original photo are adorbs Prince George and Helen Haslem, Head of the Lower School of Thomas’s Battersea, London. For the sake of all that is pure and clean, I have cropped them from this image.
9 David Beckham
There’s something about a good-looking man trotting around a soccer field, flimsy shorts delicately nipping and grazing at taut, toned things. There is always the slim possibility that an errant ball will cause the player to jump and slide, forcing the shorts to rise higher, threatening to expose more than a thigh. Oh, and those thighs; they are so hard they can wrap around your midsection, drawing you closer to them in bed.
Oh mercy, I fogot myself.
I have a thing for soccer players probably because my first love played competitive soccer. It’s the world’s most gruling sport. The players are in constant motion for 45 minutes at a time, up and down the field, the effects of all that running being incredible physical stamina and deliciously large, turkey drum thighs.
“Soccer is stupid,” my husband uttered when he saw me gazing at this photo of David in his jersey, the familiar pair of flimsy shorts riding up his leg. Beckham’s hair is short and piecey, and he wears a look of determination and focus as he tries to bend the ball like only he can. What could possibly be stupid about soccer?
I’ve figured it out. Guys don’t hate soccer because they don’t think it’s manly, or tough.They hate it because they fear the lure of players in tiny, nylon shorts.
8 Orlando Bloom
Good gravy! Is that a Baywatch lifeguard? Because I do belive I’m in some trouble over here!
This is the SFW version of Bloom, ladies. If you look hard enough, there is more of Bloom to see online.
Back in August 2016, the chiseled Englishman, ex of Miranda Kerr, and father to Flynn, made news when his manhood blocked out the sun. He was enjoying a paddleboard with then girlfrined Katy Perry in Sardinia. Totally Starkers. The ab man is seen astride a paddlebaord, his heavy “anchor” keeping the flimsy sea veseel grounded.
Oh, I’m not the only one gushing. In a week when naked photos of Bloom and Justin Beiber hit the internet, Seth Rogen weighed in on the “competition” between the two stars. In regards to Bloom, Rogen said, “ He’s in great shape overall. Orlando’s probably a bigger guy and proportionally…it is probably bigger.”
7 Harry Judd
Who? Does it matter? Well, maybe some of you savvy women will know this handsome, clean cut lad. Yeah, I feel this guy is so adorable that I’ve included a picture of his face, too.
His beauty doesn’t stop with a squared jaw, and chiseled abs. I have checked this guy’s credentials from hair to pinky toe and I’m here to tell you he is fully referenced. .
So, really now. Who is this guy and why haven’t we seen more of him on US magazine covers? He’s Harry Judd, the drummer for the British pop band McFly and the 2011 winner of the UK show Strictly Come Dancing.
Judd is married to the classically trained violinist, Izzy Johnston. The two are parents to a daughter, Lola and are expecting a second child. So, while we can't touch, no one said it was wrong to keep looking. He’s too hot for England to keep to themselves for much longer—be watching for this hotty to hit our shores in the near future.
6 Ricky Martin
I was 12 years old, living in New jersey, and Martin was my girlhood crush. A fellow Catholic, Marin danced and crroned with Menudo. That voice, that angular face. The emerging man body that seemed to be cut from Adonis.
A common refrain uttered from my childhood bedroom was, “Lord, forgive me for the impure thoughts I have about Ricky Martin. Amen.”
When Martin hooked up with TV host Rebecca de Alba, I was crushed. There went my square-jawed masterpiece of a man. But the romance didn’t last.
With few girlfriends and a huge gay following, Martin was relentlessly hounded about his sexual orientation. After becoming a dad to surrogate-born twins matteo and Valentino in 2008, the cries for Martin to come clean about his sexuality got louder.
Finally, in 2010 the singer publicly acknowldeged his status. “I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.” Martin went on to say that his retisance to adress the calls for him to disclose his sexuality actually stemmed from a belief that by being silent he was made “stronger and (it) reminded me that acceptance has to come from within.”
Martin has been engaged to Swedish painter Jwan Yosef since November. He seems happy, and I long ago let him go. But I will never admiring him.
5 Mark Wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg has been a fixture in the entertainment world for over twenty-five years. The married dad of four was a trailblazer as one of the first sex symbols, -shown in his underwear- that women were openly invited to ogle.
In 1992, photographer Herb Ritts shot a photographic series of Wahlberg (then known by his music name of Marky Mark) in stiff, bandage-looking Calvin Klein undies. In one picture, Wahlberg sits on the floor, supermodel Kate Moss on his lap. Another naughty shot features a topless Moss turning towards Wahlberg.
And then we see the goods. Two photos show Wahlberg in nothing but a CK baseball hat, a scowl, and a pair of Calvin Klein boy shorts. Wahlberg’s right hand holds firm to his manhood. It was dirty, but delicious.
But one image in particular made the photo campaign friendly and approachable. It was the shot that hung in Times Square. In that photo, Wahlberg’s arms hung loosely, and his head was cocked, with a huge friendly grin overtaking his face. It was a reassuring image- it gave good girls permission. It said that there was certainly something to look at, but that they shouldn’t feel shame in doing so.
4 Mario Lopez
This is a hard one. No, I don’t mean that. Get your head out of the gutter! I mean, it’s simply a bit difficult for me to embrace all that is manly about Mario Lopez (but as evidenced by the picture there is lot of manliness going on with this guy). I know the guys has a rocking body and is now a married father of two. So, let me explain…
I have a difficult time forgetting the seared-in image of Lopez sporting acid washed denim on Kids Incorporated? Do you?
Okay, so the image matured a bit with Lopez’s flirty A.C. Slater on Saved by the Bell. Slightly. But to me, real “men” don’t live with their parents, and have dogs, not pet chameleons.
But by 1997, Lopez turned 24 and matured into the role of Greg Louganis in the TV movie, Breaking the Surface. The role portrayed Lopez in a new mature light, and a tiny bathing suit. It was then that many women saw that the kid who had formerly sported a 1980s-mullet cut had hardened into a solid work of body art.
I’m starting to see his appeal. This one might just take more time.
3 The Game (rapper)
I put this guy’s career in brackets to help any of you that are totally unhip, like myself.
The Game, otherwise known as Jayceon Terrell Taylor, is an American rapper and actor, credited with bringing west coast hip hop scene into the mainstream in the early 2000s. In recent years, the dad to three stared in the movie House Arrest.
This guy came into my view while I was searching for “Totally stacked stars”. I think maybe we should award this guy top billing for goodly goods. My word! Avert your eyes, avert your eyes. Feels a bit naughty, no?
This shot of The Game went viral (go figure) and sales of the underwear he’s sporting (Ethika) soared. It was so popular in fact, that rapper helped designed a new line of briefs to help benefit The Game’s Charity, Robin Hood Project.
2 James Marsden
I don’t see anything here but a good old midwestern boy taking his dog for a walk. Oh wait, no. I see something else.You know how they say the corn grows bigger in Oklahoma? Do you think that’s true for all things that grow there?The 43-year-old actor got his start on The Nanny, as Eddie, boyfriend of character Margaret Sheffield. He went on to appear in Ally McBeal before being cast in the X-Men franchise.While the hunk did the old-fashioned thing--marrying Lisa Linde and having two kids-- the marriage didn’t last. Since then Marsden had another son with a former girlfriend, and now sporadically dates British singer Emma Deigman.Do you know what I’m getting at, Girls? I’m saying there’s a chance to make this boy yours! Just make sure he doesn’t leave the house in sweats. It seems to be a cat-call for middle-aged women sitting behind their computers.
1 Matthew McConaughey
Alright, alright, alright! It’s a good day when McConaughey graces us with his presence, and today is not different. The 47-year was sported taking a stroll in Malibu the day this photo was snapped. The actor appears relaxed, and it’s easy to visualize the whole shebang that went down a few years back where he was playing the bongo drums naked. This guy just screams “chill”.
The star of Dazed and Confused, and Dallas Buyers Club is married to Brazilian model Camilla Alves and has three children. While McConaughey’s attributes might not seem as impressive as others on this list, this photo does serve as a reminder. If I want my husband to return with the milk and bread, I probably shouldn’t let him leave the house in sport shorts.