Most hopeful moms spend their time planning for a baby. They rarely plan for motherhood. Mom friends share advice for birthing and getting through those last few exhausting weeks of pregnancy. They don’t tend to talk about how hard breastfeeding can be when we’re running on little to no sleep and feel like we don’t love our babies.

Yes, this happens. No, not to everyone. But there’s no way to know who it will strike. Having previous pregnancies with no hiccups along the way doesn’t exempt one from experiencing postpartum depression the next time around. However, having it before increases the risk of it happening again.

It’s brutal. It leaves mothers feeling crippled and hopeless. They feel alone, empty, and desperate to feel something other than sadness and lethargy. It might only last a few months, or it could take over a woman’s life for even more than a year. Even when someone has all the help in the world and the money to fly grandma in and pay for nannies and postpartum doulas, PPD can strike. These celeb moms found that out the hard way. Don’t be so quick to assume that the luxe life doesn’t come with pitfalls.

15 Bryce Dallas Howard

We imagine moms like Bryce Dallas Howard could use a little help in the postpartum period. But how do we predict who needs that help? How are we to know ahead of time who will develop postpartum depression and who won’t? While moms who’ve suffered from it before are more likely to again, it’s not a given, and first time moms are left shooting in the dark.

Howard has remarked how offbeat it feels to recall what she went through after the birth of her child. She remembers not being able to connect with her own feelings — not really feeling anything at all. When others were laughing around her, the giggles she chimed in with were fake. When she would retreat to the shower and have privacy, she would cry uncontrollably and wonder why she didn’t feel love, or joy, or anything but emptiness. This is postpartum depression.

14 Chrissy Teigen

Wasn’t the whole world swooning along when this model and her crooner hubby announced they were going to be parents? We could hardly wait to know more about the bundle of joy that we hope inherited mom’s good looks and dad’s telltale vocals.

So, it broke a few hearts for fans to hear that this momma was suffering from depression after giving birth to daughter Luna Simone. Chrissy was suffering with PPD for more than half of her daughter’s first year of life before it dawned on her what was wrong.

She blamed their living in a rental home and renovations for her sadness at the time. She was snapping at people. She was exhausted despite others making extensive accommodations for her. She was in physical pain. She became more recluse, and she thought she was just transforming into a mother. Fortunately, she realized that motherhood is not all about short tempers and fatigue. She got the help she needed, and she wants you to, too.

13 Brooke Shields

If you haven’t heard about Brooke Shields’ and her struggle with postpartum depression, you definitely live under a rock. Made uber-popular by Tom Cruise and his attack toward Shield’s that implied she was to use antidepressants to combat PPD, the whole world was suddenly buzzing about the Blue Lagoon actress once again.

There is likely no one with more claim to fame that has spoken on this illness more than Shields has. In her book, Down Came the Rain: My Journey with Postpartum Depression, she sets out to give people an inside glimpse into what that kind of despair and hopelessness really feels like.

In her book, she writes, “I also didn’t feel like I wanted to get too close to Rowan. I wasn’t afraid she was too fragile; I just felt no desire to pick her up. Every time I have ever been near a baby, any baby, I have always wanted to hold the child. It shocked me that I didn’t want to hold my own daughter."

12 Courtney Cox

When it came to Friends star Courtney Cox, postpartum depression didn’t stop short. Cox hasn’t been as open as some other celebrities about her experience with PPD, but that’s not unusual for the star, who prefers her privacy and always has.

She did sit down USA Today and told them that for her, PPD lasted around six months and caused her to suffer from insomnia to the point that her heart would race on top of the telltale depression it brings. This is the story for a lot of women, and because there’s not much else going on besides restless sleep and the blues, they think they’re just having trouble adjusting to their new life. They brush it off like it’s nothing, and it gets worse. We’re happy Cox was able to bounce back.

11 Kendra Wilkinson

Some people wonder whether postpartum depression is truly hormonal or if it might be partly environmental, too. Kendra Wilkinson’s case is a good one to debate. After the birth of her son, she suffered with PPD. Then, after her daughter was born, news broke that her husband had engaged in an affair with a transgender model.

Kendra hasn’t had ideal experiences following her births. The first time around, she questioned why she wasn’t happy just like most moms with PPD do. They just had a baby. They wanted this baby. Why aren’t they over the moon?

The important thing to remember is that it doesn’t really matter why someone is suffering from depression, except that you need to know how to treat it. Not everyone will opt for the same measures. Medication isn’t the first of every mom’s list — especially those who are breastfeeding. For some women — like Kendra — another pregnancy may not be on their list of things to do, either. The Wilkinson-Baskett clan plans to adopt if they have any more kids at all.

10 Drew Barrymore

Drew Barrymore’s experience with PPD wasn’t unlike many other mothers. If these celebs are screaming one thing at us in unity, it’s to slow down and take on the role of mother easily. Even if you’ve done it all before.

Drew was in those very shoes. She was already a mom when she gave birth to her daughter Frankie. So, she was very confused as to why she didn’t feel amazing afterward the way she had after her birth with her first, Olive.

Being immersed in several work and personal projects at the same time is the straw the broke the camel’s back from Drew’s point of view. Drew strives to teach her girls that you can both work and be a mom, but she acknowledges that there’s such a thing as spreading yourself too thin. She credits her bout of PPD to teaching her how to be more present in the moment. We love that she’s turned the experience into something positive.

9 Gwyneth Paltrow

After giving birth to her son Moses back in 2006, Paltrow struggled deeply with postpartum depression — something she never saw coming. She was quoted as saying, "I expected to have another period of euphoria following his birth, much the way I had when my daughter was born two years earlier. Instead I was confronted with one of the darkest and most painfully debilitating chapters of my life."

A lot of moms find themselves in this situation. Even if it’s the first time around, they know that what they’re feeling is not anything resembling what their friends seem to have went through. Are we supposed to ask them? What if they then find out we aren’t the perfect new mother we were hoping to be? What if we have to acknowledge that we aren’t? Will our world implode? No, but it might if you let PPD go untreated and continue to fester. Stay aware. Be a Gwyneth.

8 Vanessa Lachey

When superstar crooner Nick Lachey’s wife struggled with postpartum depression, she knew that something was calling to her to share this experience with the world. So, she took to her own blog to let everyone in on the illness that we have been shrouding like it’s a dirty little secret.

Vanessa wrote, "I didn’t feel like myself… Where was the super woman who always thought and knew she could do it all? Where was the organized Vanessa who had it all under control no matter what the obstacle? She was gone, and I thought… forever."

A lot of women feel this way when in the midst of PPD. It seems like it will never lift. It seems like this is their new life and the person they used to be has died, and many women grieve for that part of themselves.

7 Hayden Panettiere

This Nashville star actually went in search of professional treatment more than once for the PPD she battled after her daughter Kaya was born. Hayden has been a ringleader for progress in promoting awareness for postpartum depression. She has never pulled away from the camera when given an opportunity to educate and inform on the subject.

Panettiere has stated, “I’m really happy that I can stand up for the women who are out there suffering from this and let them know it’s okay. They’re not alone. It doesn’t mean they’re weak. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad mom. It doesn’t mean they’re strange. They can get help if they need it, and that’s okay.”

She sends a strong message that moms need not fear asking for help. In a world where we are often too swept up in the everyday madness of life as a mother, women need to know that not every birth experience is followed by bliss, and that’s just fine.

6 Lisa Rinna

This Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star recounted her experience with postpartum depression to Dr. Drew. She remarked, "After having my first daughter Delilah, I had severe postpartum depression. I kept it a secret. I didn't say a word to anybody in the world. I was so hopeless and felt so lost.”

Even Rinna’s husband was completely unaware as to what was going on with his wife, but he knew she wasn’t behaving like her normal self. This is why it’s so important that pregnant women and their partners are prepared to look for the signs of postpartum mood disorders.

They aren’t selective. It can happen to you. Sometimes, women aren’t aware at first that anything is off. It sneaks up on them. It might start as irritability or exhaustion that is attributed to a lack of sleep with a new baby. Partners and loved ones need to be on the lookout, too.

5 Celine Dion

While her vocals are strong, her hormones weren’t as kind to her in the months following the birth of her twins. It’s worth noting that PPD is actually more likely to occur in mothers who birth multiples, too. Celine struggled, and we love that she was willing to open up about it. She has been quoted as saying:

“Some of the first days after I came home, I was a little outside myself. I had no appetite and that bothered me. My mother remarked that she noticed I had moments of lifelessness, but reassured me that this was entirely normal… One moment, tremendous happiness; the next, fatigue sets in, and I cried for no reason, and then that took care of itself. It’s for things like that after having a baby that mothers really need emotional support.”

She’s right. Our Western culture has led us astray when it comes to caring for women. In plenty of Eastern cultures, it’s still the norm to let women stay in bed for a week or more following birth and bond with the baby. Partners, older children and family members tend to the housework and cooking. Moms, don’t be afraid to ask for downtime, even if it seems excessive. Listen to your mind and body.

4 Alanis Morissette

The world may not have been surprised when Alanis Morissette broke her silence on postpartum depression. She’s well-known for the angst and vitriol in the lyrics of songs like You Oughta Know and Uninvited.

Uninvited was a good word to describe the torment she faced following the birth of her son Ever Imre in 2010. For the 600,000 women who suffer from PPD each year, Alanis is a breath of fresh air to the movement, because she won’t hold back on the scary parts.

She feels she didn’t reach out soon enough, and she acknowledges that women should learn from her mistake and ask for help as soon as they know they need it. While she was no stranger to depression, the postpartum form came with a lot of heaviness and physical pain she didn’t see coming — and it persisted for 15 months. She wants other moms to know this isn’t a normal part of motherhood, and it’s okay to say hey, help me.

3 Amanda Peet

Sometimes even the happiest people on screen are struggling beyond belief behind the curtain. Actors like Robin Williams have taught us this lesson in the most unbearable way. Amanda Peet is known for her wit and charm on the silver screen. If she’s in a film, you can bet there’s laughter to be had.

But there weren’t any laughs to be heard from this mom after the birth of her daughter Frances. She came clean to Gotham Magazine stating, "I want to be honest about it because I think there’s still so much shame when you have mixed feelings about being a mom instead of feeling this sort of ‘bliss’. I think a lot of people still really struggle with that, but it’s hard to find other people who are willing to talk about it."

She hit the nail on the head with that remark. Why aren’t people screaming at the top of their lungs about the trauma and pain new mothers are going through? Is there anyone more important at the crux of our society than our mommies?

2 Marie Osmond

We’re betting that Marie Osmond and Brooke Shields are bosom buddies in real life. Osmond also went on to pen a book after he experience with postpartum depression. In the book, titled Behind the Smile: My Journey Out of Postpartum Depression, Marie goes to some pretty scary places.

The star has never been a stranger to a busy life. She was raised by a family who knew the value of hard work, even when it was exhausting. She was a mogul. Busy was her motto. When the doctor warned her to rest up and be kind to herself after having a baby, she chocked that up to things doctors say that applied to other women — women who weren’t Marie Osmond.

As she carried on with her ever-busy lifestyle in the days and weeks following her first child’s birth, it became apparent that the world she once knew was caving in around her. She writes in her book, “I was sitting on the kitchen floor, heaving with sobs and all I could think was, “This can't be happening to me.' This couldn't be me, collapsing in hysteria, not even recognizing my own wails."

1 Sarah Michelle Gellar

We haven’t seen a whole lot of this actress in the last several years, and that’s because she’s busy raising her kids Charlotte and Rocky with hubby Freddie Prince, Jr. After the birth of her daughter, which was her first baby, she struggled with PPD. Sarah Michelle has made it her mission to reach out to other mothers who may be enduring PPD and let them know that they have options.

If you feel off and not like yourself; if you’re feeling lethargic, are in physical pain or are overcome with emotion for no apparent reason; if you have no interest in your baby or other activities you used to enjoy, these are all signs of postpartum depression. In the words of Sarah Michelle Gellar, “you’re not alone” and “It really does get better.”

Part of the problem we have today is that women are in such incessant competition with one another. We are so bent on being the best mom that we hardly want to speak up and ask our friends if they too were sucking at life when they had a newborn. Ladies, drop your guard. Confide in your women friends. Speak up. End the stigma.

Sources: THG, Postpartum Progress