If there’s one thing that all moms can agree on, it’s this: It can be really hard.
We all want the best for our little bundles of joy. And when push comes to shove, we wouldn’t change all of the insanity, the sleepless nights, the temper tantrums and the potty training for anything in the world – though sometimes, we think may think about it (especially in those moments when your toddler took his pants off and put them on his head, your elementary school kid is asking you if he can play Pokemon Go for the 10,000 times, even though you’ve already told him now 9,999 times, and you are trying to save dinner from being burned.)
Yep, being a mom isn’t for the faint of heart. We try our best, we really do; but when the going gets tough, sometimes, we just feel like throwing our hands up and saying, “Well, whatever happens, happens.” I know we’ve all been there. I, myself, have had days that have been so exasperating that I feel like I’m on the brink of insanity. I think we all have. And it’s on those days when we let things slide, or come up with some totally ridiculous story to get through it, so that we can merely survive. In other words, sometimes, we can all be ‘bad’ moms, and we feel like are the stars in the movie ‘Bad Moms.’
I spoke to 15 moms who revealed some of the things that they have done that have made them ‘bad.’ Here is what they revealed.
“It was a rough night, followed by a rough morning. My kids refused to go to sleep, woke up several times throughout the night, and then woke up at the crack of dawn,” Says Merri P, a stay-at-home-mom of three.
“I had gotten about 2.5 hours of sleep, and that’s an overestimate. When they woke up and the tantrums and refusal to listen started again, I felt like I was on the brink of insanity. The last thing I wanted to do was cook, or listen to them whine about what I had made them or throw the food in the garbage. So, when it came time for meals, I gave them the only thing that I knew they wouldn’t argue about… ice cream. I don’t feel bad about it, either. My kids had ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner that day. I didn’t have to cook, and I didn’t have to have battles over eating. It was a win-win.”
“We were in a rush to get out of the door one morning,” says Amy H, a working mother of two.
“In the mad dash to get myself showered and dressed, pack a lunch for my older daughter, and get both of the kids fed, dressed, and out the door, I forgot to put a pull-up on my 2-year-old son, who was potty training at the time. Clearly, it totally slipped my mind. I put on his pants, shirt, socks and shoes; but no pull-up. He was really getting the hang of using the potty, but I horrified when I realized that he wasn’t quite trained yet, and I had forgotten to put on his pull-up. As I took him out of the car at daycare, his pants were soaking wet, and so was his car seat. Yeah, total mom brain moment.”
“One morning, as we were dropping the kids off at school, my friend came running up to me and asked if I could pick her daughter up when I picked my sons up that day,” reports Tara G, a work-at-home mom.
“She had a doctor’s appointment, and she wouldn’t be out in time to pick up her daughter. I agreed; anything to help my friend out. Well, the end of the school day came, I went and picked up my sons, and we waved at my friend’s daughter as we drove off. It didn’t occur to me that she was supposed to be in my car until we were half-way home. I slammed on the breaks and turned back immediately. Fortunately, a teacher had stayed with her for the five minutes we left her stranded. I was mortified. I never spoke of the incident to my friend, and to this day, she still doesn’t know.”
“Playing with blocks, trains and trucks is not my forte, but I do it anyway to make my son happy,” says Holly B, a mom of one.
“Though most of the time, I will honor his request when he asks me to play with him, there are times when I will suddenly become ‘busy,’ when he asks. I could be sitting on the couch, thumbing through my phone when I hear ‘Mommy, play with me?’ I look up and think, ‘Oh, man! That’s the last thing I want to do right now.’ So, I’ll tell him that I’m really busy with work, or that I have to do some household chore, just so I can get out of playing. I mean, there’s only so many times that I can deal with him telling me that I am playing the wrong way, or have him knock down the incredible block tower that I painstakingly constructed.”
“I was absolutely exhausted, and I just couldn’t get up the strength to do the mom thing one day,” confessed Diane R, a mom of three.
“So, I called my mom up and told her that I was in a bind. I had to make an emergency appointment with my doctor and my husband wasn’t home, and I had nobody to watch the kids… She said that she would come pick them up and take them to her house so that I could go to the doctor. She did, and I thanked her profusely. There was no doctor appointment. I needed to take a mental health moment. I stayed home, put on the TV and took a nap in blissful silence. I feel a little guilty about it, but not a whole lot. I may even do it again next month!”
“If there is anyone who hates doing homework more than my son, it’s me,” says Rita E, a mom of two elementary school children.
“Every night, without fail, there is a huge argument at homework time. Either he whines and complains about it, or he just doesn’t listen. Despite trying to keep my cool, I often snap, which I know is the worst thing to do. One night, I just couldn’t gear myself up to do it. I would have rather had a root canal without anesthesia that day than do homework with my son. So, instead of arguing, I pulled out his homework and filled in all the answers to his math homework myself. The next night, having enjoyed no arguments the previous night, I did it again! I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, but you know what? I don’t even care. Does that make me bad?”
“When she goes to bed, I throw out my daughter’s craft projects,” says Sara V, a mom of two.
“She loves doing arts and crafts more than anything, and I nurture that love as much as I can. However, we only have so much wall space and refrigerator space. I tried filing the crafts away for safekeeping, but I’m running out of room there, too. So, now, when my daughter goes to bed, I’ll throw out some of the crafts that she made that day. I know it’s terrible, but I just can’t keep them all. If I did, we’d have to get a bigger house! I carefully select the ones that I throw out, or I throw out the ones that were previously displayed to make room for her new creations. I do feel a little bad about it, but, I mean, what other choice do I have?”
“I admit it, I am addicted to chocolate, and so are my kids,” confesses Kelly P, a mom of boy and girl.”
“And it never fails. Every single time I open up a piece of chocolate, my kids come running in and ask if they can have it. They could be upstairs, in their room, playing intently, and they will come running into the kitchen whenever I go to indulge my addiction. For the longest time, I would give in and let them have it. But I came up with a very clever little way to hide my secret stash… I hide it in an empty tampon box in the bathroom. Now, whenever I want to enjoy some chocolate, I sneak into the bathroom and pull out a piece. It has proven to be a beautiful plan. I get to enjoy my chocolate – and I get to enjoy it in total peace and quiet. I’d say that’s a mom win!”
“Like so many little girls, mine are obsessed with ‘Frozen,’” says Barbara V, a mom of three little girls.
“After hearing “Let It Go” for the 7 zillionth time, I thought I was going to pull my hair out. So, while the girls were sleeping, I took the DVD and their soundtrack and tossed them. When they woke up the next morning, of course, the first thing they wanted to do was blast the soundtrack. I sat them down and told them that while they were sleeping, Ana and Elsa came over and asked if they could have their CD and DVD back. They had let them borrow it long enough and they really missed it. They were sad, but they thought that it was really cool that Ana and Elsa actually came to their house and asked for their CD and DVD back. They tell their friends, too! And, I don’t have to hear that song on repeat all day, every day.”
“My son came running into the kitchen while I was cooking dinner one night with a bucket stuck on his head,” says Anna O, a mother of four.
“He was crying, and before I stopped to help him remove it, I called my husband in and asked him to bring the camera so I could snap a picture. I know he was upset, but it was pretty funny seeing him with a bucket stuck on his head. He had tried to shove his head in that thing so many times before, and I told him it wasn’t going to fit. Well, low and behold, he proved me wrong and squeezed his noggin in there. I don’t think he was too happy with his success. We got it off, and he cried for about an hour. I posted the picture on Facebook.”
“When my son was two-and-a-half, we finally got up the courage to move him out of his crib and into a toddler bed. He was a huge Thomas the Tank Engine fan, so that’s the toddler bed we got for him. The transition wasn’t as bad as I expected. Everything went pretty smoothly the first few days. Then it went south one day. I put him down for his nap and thought that he was sound asleep. I was catching up on my favorite TV show that I had DVRd, and thought nothing of it. Well, about an hour later, I heard some noise coming from my son’s bedroom. I went up to check and found that he had taken a jar of Vaseline from his changing table and smeared it all over Thomas’ face, the walls, and his entire body. I was in utter disbelief. I will never leave ointments out on a changing table with a toddler who has the ability to roam free. Never.” – Jennifer Q.
“I’m a stay-at-home-mom of five. That’s right; five. Ages 7, 6, 4, 3 and 1. I never get a moment to myself. Ever. So, I decided that I had to do something about that. One day, I came up with this brilliant idea. I booked an appointment for a massage at a day spa and told my husband that I had a doctor’s appointment. I don’t think he would care that I was getting a massage; he’d probably encourage it. But, he’d expect to be able to do the same. And not that I don’t think he deserves one, too; but, I am home with the kids all the time. He gets to go out of the house to work and talks to adults and doesn’t have to change dirty diapers, wipe snotty noises and deal with tantrums all day. So, I told this little white lie, and I continue to. Every few months, I’ll say I have a doctor’s appointment, but I’m really at the spa while he’s home with the kids.” - Josie F.
“Sometimes, just sometimes, I pour some Kahlua in my coffee on a Saturday morning,” confessed Justina E, a mom of three.
“I love having my kids home from school on the weekends, but it never fails that there is bickering and meltdowns by about 10am. When they start acting out, I’ll sometimes brew up a fresh cup of coffee and top it off with a shot of Kahlua. I’m not proud of it, but I’m also not ashamed, if that makes any sense. I get a warm and fuzzy feeling when the kids start arguing. I then set up a board game or some other activity that we can do together that will stop the bickering. Could I do that without spiking my coffee? Sure. But, it’s much more fun when I do.”
“My kids are obsessed with Elmo. Like, obsessed,” says Angie C, a mom of twin three-year-old boys.
“When they start misbehaving, I tell them that Elmo is watching them. It is way more effective than telling them Santa is watching, or that Elf on the Shelf character. Whenever I say it, they get their acts together real quick. I have even pretended to be talking on the phone with Elmo, and when they really start acting up, I’ll text my husband while he’s at work and have him call the house. He gets on the phone with the boys and talks to them in his best Elmo voice. You should see the looks on their faces when they are on the phone with “Elmo.” It always works. I hope I can keep using this trick until they are 18!”
“There are just some days when I don’t feel like doing the mom thing. I don’t feel like changing diapers, chasing kids around, arguing over eating, and all of the other things that us moms have to deal with on a daily basis. On those days, I tell my husband that I’m not feeling well, and that I have to stay in bed all day. The kids are forbidden to enter the room because I don’t want them to get ‘sick.’ Every time my husband pops in to check on me, I pretend that I am sleeping or I put on a good act. Meanwhile, I’m really just laying in bed, watching TV, reading or catching up on social media. I don’t do it often; maybe twice a year. But, those ‘sick’ days are really some of my most peaceful, relaxing days.”