When it comes to being pregnant, the mom-to-be usually gets all of the attention, and for good reason. She is, after all, the one who will be carrying that little bundle of joy in her womb for 9 months, morning sickness all morning noon and night, and the one who will be going through labor and delivery. All the good stuff we associate with pregnancy.
However, while the expectant mama is certainly going to go through a lot during those 40ish weeks of pregnancy, she isn’t the only one who is excited or having anxious thoughts. The dad-to-be has a lot going through his mind, too. And so he should!
As the father of the house, he'll be responsible for being the male role model and providing as much love and care as the mom does. Each man handles the upcoming responsibility in different ways. Some are calm and seemly prepared while others a freaking out a little more each day that passes that brings them closer to the due date.
Expectant fathers think a lot of things. We know, because we asked 15 of them what they were thinking while their other half was expecting, and what they revealed was that being an expectant father can definitely be exciting and nerve wracking.
From thoughts about their wives to wondering how their lives are going to change once the baby arrives, here is a look at what 15 different dads told us when they were waiting for their little bundles of joy to arrive.
15 “I Worried That I Wouldn’t Be A Good Dad…”
Michael H. told us that he was worried that he wasn’t going to be a good father.
“I was really nervous that I wasn’t going to be a good dad. My own father was very tough on me and wasn’t very supportive. I vowed that I didn’t want to be the type of father that he was, but I couldn’t help but worry that I was going to turn out like him. After all, we do tend to mimic our own parent’s parenting style."
"I worried that I would be a yeller, and that I was not going to relate to my son. My wife reassured me that I was going to be a great dad. Now, our son is 5 and he tells me on a daily basis that I am his best buddy. I still wonder if I am doing a good job, but when he says that I am his best buddy, I definitely get confirmation that I am being a good dad.”
14 “I Was Worried That My Wife Resented Me…”
Paul O. told us that he was worried that his wife resented him when she was pregnant, and that she was going to resent him even more when the baby came.
“My wife had horrible morning sickness for most of her pregnancy. I’m talking really bad. She would get so sick and so often that the poor thing could hardly hold walk without having to run to the bathroom. She also had a very difficult time with restless leg and couldn’t get a good night of sleep to save her life."
"I was worried that while she was going through all of that, that she was starting to resent me. I also worried that she was going to resent me once the baby came. You know, once she started breastfeeding and she had to recover from the delivery. It was a very nerve wracking experience.”
13 “Will She Ever Be The Same Again?”
Gerry F said that he was worried that his wife wouldn’t be the same again after her pregnancy.
“When she was pregnant, she had such crazy mood swings and she was in a lot of pain. She would snap at me out of nowhere, and then she would cry two seconds later. I couldn’t believe how drastically pregnancy had changed her. I felt like my once soft-spoken, sweet, happy-go-lucky wife was taken over by someone else. She was never happy."
"Well, not never; but, a lot of the time she was miserable. I wondered if she was ever going to be the same again. I couldn’t wait for the day when I would get my real wife back. Fortunately, after the baby came, she’s back to her old self, and in fact, she is even sweeter than ever! And, she’s an amazing mom.”
12 “Will I Be Jealous Of The Baby?”
Matthew P. said that he couldn’t help but wonder if his wife was still going to have time for him once the baby arrived.
“I know that it’s selfish, but I couldn’t help but wonder whether or not my wife was going to have any time to pay attention to me once the baby came along. I was actually feeling a little bit jealous of the baby! It’s crazy, I know; but, my wife and I were very, very close prior to having a baby. We did everything together."
"I had seen other couples who had completely changed after they had a baby. Some of our friends, who had relationships just like us, were totally different once their babies came along. One of my best guy friends said that he felt like his wife didn’t have time for him after their baby came.”
11 “I Freaked Out About Money…”
Rodney G. said that he freaked out a lot about money when he and his wife were expecting their second child.
“I didn’t realize just how expensive it is to have children. Child care, diapers, food, clothing, toys… They require a lot of stuff, and that stuff costs a lot of money. We struggled a bit financially after our first son came along, but when we found out that we were expecting number two, which was unplanned, I freaked out about finances."
"I was constantly stressed out about money. I had no idea how we were going to afford having another child. It seemed like it would be completely impossible. I am happy to report, however, that I did get a great job offer that offered a decent raise, and we are doing okay financially. They say that you can never be fully prepared, financially, to have children, and my freak out when we were expecting #2 proved that!”
10 “What If We Suck At Parenting?”
Keith C. told us that he worried that he and his wife weren’t going to be able to get the whole parenting thing right.
“I mean, you want what’s best for your child. And while my wife and I are pretty awesome (I mean, I have to admit that we are. Lol!) I still couldn’t help but wonder if we were going to suck at parenting."
"Would we be able to handle all of the late night feedings? Would we be able to deal with the tantrums? What about the lack of sleep? Would we make the best choices for our kid? I knew that we would try our best, but I worried that our best wouldn’t be good enough. Our daughter is now 3 and I have to say that we are definitely nailing this whole parenting thing. She is incredible, and I think that we are rocking it.”
9 “I Didn’t Know If I Was Prepared To Deal With The Delivery”
John R. said that he didn’t know if he was going to be able to handle his wife’s delivery.
“You see it in the movies all the time; guys passing out when their wives are in labor and delivering babies. I had this major fear that I wasn’t going to be able to get through the delivery. After we went to a birthing class and we saw a very graphic video of a vaginal delivery, I was sure that I was going to pass out."
"Not only that, but I didn’t know if I was going to be able to look at my wife in an [intimate] way again. Well, I got through the delivery just fine and was able to give her the support that we needed. As for my other fear about the delivery; we are expecting baby #3, so I guess that wasn’t an issue.”
8 “I Was Afraid Of How Our Lives Would Change…”
Frank V. said that he was worried about how having a child would change his and his wife’s life.
“You know what happens when a baby comes along to a lot of people. They parents get distant with each other. They focus all of their energy on the kid and they are too exhausted to focus any of their energy on each other. I saw my best friends go through some pretty crazy changes after they had a baby."
"They stopped hanging out, and the few times they did hang out, they fought constantly. I was worried that the same thing was going to happen to my wife and I. I was afraid that we were going to lose our identities once we became parents. We are super tired and we definitely don’t go out as much as we used to, but she and I are doing great.'
"Actually, becoming parents has strengthened our relationship. Just another reason why I am so thankful for our son.”
7 “I Was Beyond Excited!”
Henry A. said that he was totally psyched when he was awaiting the arrival of his son.
“I will never forget the day that I found out my girlfriend was [expecting.] It wasn’t planned, but I was over the moon! I had no idea I would feel that way! And when she had a sonogram and we found out that we were having a boy, I was even more excited! I couldn’t wait to play baseball with my son, to teach him how to build things, and to shape him into this awesome little man."
"I felt like my girlfriend’s pregnancy took forever because I was just so excited to meet our little man and I couldn’t wait for him to arrive. When he finally did come, I feel in love instantly. He is my best buddy and I just love him to the moon and back. Being a dad is incredible!”
6 “My Family Was Not Supportive At All…”
Chris B. told us that his family was not supportive of the pregnancy at all.
“My family and my girlfriend never really got along. Despite the fact that was with her for 10 years, my family was completely shocked when we told them that she was [with child.] My mother flipped out. She told my girlfriend off. She called me every day to argue with me. She refused to attend the baby shower. It got so bad that my girlfriend and I were fighting over it constantly."
"She wanted me to stop talking to my family, but I just couldn’t do that. They’re my family, you know. Well, after the last time my mom flipped out on my girlfriend, I finally saw how much it was impacting her. I decided that I was going to take a break from them for awhile and call them when the baby came. I thought that it would change things."
"Sadly, it didn’t. My mom met my son once, and now he’s 6.”
5 “I Worried My Mom Would Drive My Wife Insane!”
Kyle F. said that he was worried that his mother was going to drive his wife crazy when she was expecting their daughter.
“My mom is very, how shall I say it? – Outspoken? She means well, she really does; but, she can be a bit overbearing. When my wife was [expecting,] my mom would call her on a regular basis to check up on her. She would ask her about everything that she was doing. She wanted to know everything that she was eating."
"She also wanted to go to the prenatal appointments with us. I know that it was driving my wife crazy, but she was a good sport about it. When my mom said that she wanted to stay with us for the first few weeks after the baby was born, I feared that my wife was really going to lose it. I had to have a talk with my mom. She didn’t stay with us."
"And fortunately, my mom realized that she was being overbearing. She’s a wonderful grandmother, and my wife actually looks to her for advice.”
4 “I Was Nervous As All Get Out!”
Victor B. told us confessed that he was extremely nervous when his wife was expecting with their first baby.
“We didn’t want to have kids until we were married for five years. We wanted to travel, buy a house and enjoy being newlyweds. When we found out that my wife was [expecting] when we got back from our honeymoon, to say that I was extremely shocked is an understatement. I mean, I was excited, but I was nervous as all get out!"
"I was nervous that we weren’t going to be able to enjoy being married because we were going to have to transition right into being parents. I worried how it was going to change us. I worried if we were ready to take on such a huge responsibility. I wondered if we were really ready.”
3 “I Became Obsessed…”
Justin I. confessed that he became obsessed with his child before he was even born.
“I totally became obsessive when my wife was [with child.] I wanted to make completely certain that she was doing everything that she should be doing so that our daughter would be as healthy as possible. I planned her meals for her. I cooked for her. I wouldn’t let her lift anything that was more than 5 pounds. I drove her everywhere."
"I laid out her prenatal vitamins. I read all of the parenting books I could possibly find. Hell, I’m the one who registered us for the birthing class! It drove my wife insane! I just wanted to be sure that our little girl was going to be perfect. After a while, my wife told me that I needed to calm down. I did, but I was still obsessed with thinking about the baby.”
2 “I Wasn’t Really Excited”
Travis G. said that he wasn’t very excited when he found out that he was going to be a dad.
“I never wanted to be a dad. It just wasn’t something that I ever thought I wanted to do. I enjoyed my freedom, and I didn’t want the responsibility of raising another human being! I was definitely not excited when I found out that I was going to be a dad. I was actually a little mad. Is that horrible for me to say?"
"Well, all of that changed when we went for the first ultrasound. As soon as I heard that tiny heartbeat and saw that baby on the screen, I feel head over heels in love! It was instant! That was the defining moment for me! And now that our daughter is here, I can’t even express how much I love being a dad! The best gift I have ever received!”
1 “I Didn’t Know How Much Love A Heart Could Hold…”
Liam G. told us the sweetest confession ever!
“I had no idea how much love a heart could hold! I was so excited when we found out that my wife was expecting. We had always wanted to have kids, and after she miscarried twice, we didn’t know if it was going to be a possibility for us. Well, when she had a successful pregnancy, I fell in love the moment I laid eyes on that sonogram monitor."
"However, I had no idea how much more I was going to fall in love once I met my son. The first time I saw him, he stole my heart. I felt like my heart was outside of my body and was given to him! I still feel the same, and he’s almost 10. It’s just incredible how much you love your child.”